Ficlet: Supernova [John/Sherlock] [PG-15 for angst] super-triggery. [CHECK WARNINGS] ♥

[theshockblanket]

Title: Supernova
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Genre: Angst. In buckets. 
Rating: PG-15 for subject matter.
Warnings: Character death, old age, voluntary euthanasia, hospitals, implied terminal illness.
Word count: ~700
Prompts: 1] "Sherlock tells John that he loves him. At 82, on his death bed. 2] Sherlock proposes to John in Morse code.
A/N: I feel like this

Comments

[nejem]

"His body is failing now, without the life-support, but he thinks of Afghanistan, half a century ago; remembers please God, let me live.
And oh, he has lived."

Simple, very simple, and yet so fitting, so gorgeous, a wonderful reminder through a fic.

This hurt, this hurt a lot. But I'm glad I read this, hurt can be good sometimes. Bravo, truly, bravo :)

[theshockblanket]

Thank you :3 Whenever anything like this happens I always think about how important it is to recognise the difference between being alive and really living, so I wanted to get that across without being preachy. I'm pleased you're glad you read it; I haven't written an actual character death before and I wanted to get it right. Thank you again :)

[anonymous]

“Yes,” he says - stupidly, ridiculously; there is no priest, no book to sign, no time or strength for it if they did - and then he realises that none of that is necessary; nothing else has ever been necessary. He is John and this is Sherlock and there are maybe ninety seconds of that left, but it is all he has. “Yes.”

Fuck. Fuck. This line hit me so hard. I bawled. Am still bawling. This is so sad but so happy because they got to spend their lives together but god it hurts so much...

Thank you for sharing this.

[theshockblanket]

*offers tissues* I hope it was a good sort of bawl, if such a thing exists - I was worried about some of the triggers some people might see in this fic. But thank you so much for your lovely comment!

If it helps, it was a very good life. I promise. And yes, that line was sort of about anitya, which is a Buddhist idea that everything is changing all the time, but doesn't conflict with the principle that the essence of a person remains the same and that is what's important :) Actually I think maybe the whole fic was about that... Eh, I don't know.

Ahem. Anyway. Thank you again. ♥

[pipmer1]

*sobs* That Was Amazing.

Beautiful.

[theshockblanket]

^___^ Odd how such a simple comment can mean so much to me! Especially a comment like 'beautiful' - that's a real compliment. Thank you x) ♥

Eek, don't sob! I should probably go and write a happy, fluffy fic now, I've written far too much angst lately...

[mizuki1988]

I think now "Alone on the Water" has some serious competition.

This was simply exquisite. Bawled my eyes out, but laughed in delight at the same time, if that's even possible. Because it's a good ending. It's an amazing ending. An amazing ending after an amazing middle and an amazing beginning, and everything about it is amazing, but it's still an ending, and no amount of amazingness will make it hurt any less.

[theshockblanket]

Oh, I don't know about that! This isn't even a tenth as long as AOTW :3 But I'm very flattered all the same ^___^

Oh, I'm so glad both sides of it managed to come across. I was bothered about that. I keep going on about how triggery I think this might be because I was worried the positive side of it all might be buried in all the angst. So yeah, really glad :D ♥

Yes, that's the thing about endings :( But there's a helpful Nietzsche quote that seems relevant: "The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either." I think you'd agree :)

[mizuki1988]

You know, the length is not significant when it comes to quality xD And seeing as you managed to achieve something even more poignant in less than a tenth of space as AOTW, speaks for itself, really :P

And I agree about endings. The thing about old age stories is that they are usually a thousand times more heartwrenching than any other angst and tragedy that can be conceived. It's because they bring home the inevitability of death without being contrived. And simplicity is, I think, the best thing that can happen in an angsty story.

There's a lovely - tragic - little fic, that tugs at my heartstrings in the same was as your "Supernova" - http://archiveofourown.org/works/326159 - I'm sure you've already read it, though... :P

[theshockblanket]

Well, I'm glad to have a reader who thinks so! I only wrote this on a long Thursday afternoon when I was feeling too ill to go outside, so that's lovely to hear x)

I simultaneously love and hate old age fics because - and call me selfish, but - they make me so nervous about the thought of being old myself. Then again, they do remind me of the need to enjoy being young and able to go gallivanting about :P

OH OH OH THAT FIC. I haven't read it before but I'll bookmark it somewhere until I get an AO3 account :D It was so good, and now I hurt more. Thanks for linking me x)

[draloreshimare]

From calm to sobbing in .5 seconds.

“Please,” he whispers, as Sherlock chokes, “Don’t leave me.”

There is an endless silence that stretches into minutes as they watch each other.

Sherlock’s eyes are pleading, desperate. John’s are resolute.

John wins."

God, that bit. *sobs*

[theshockblanket]

WHY DO I WRITE THINGS THAT MAKE PEOPLE CRY
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

*hugs*

But seriously, I am glad it's an effective story x) Thank you so much for stopping to comment!