[multi-part] Feed On Me Follow Up: Everything
Title: Everything
Pairing: JuriTai
Rating/Warnings: R; none graphic descriptions of underage sexual activity.
Word Count: 3746
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: Ever since he found out Taiga's secret, Juri has been the only one he can turn to, Juri is everything to him.
A/N: I think it was Orson Wells that said "Write drunk, edit sober.". Let's see how drunk editing goes...because I love fandom and I want to post something...This is the floow up to Feed on Me
It's been creeping up on him for days, twisting in the pit of his stomach, spreading, climbing like wild ivy up through his chest and coiling around his throat, suffocating him.
“Kyomoto-kun? Are you alright?”. He's choking again. “Get him some water.”. It won't help.
He keeps his mouth covered, staggers from the rehearsal room, retching, his eyes streaming. His teeth are too sharp, he can feel them digging into his palm with each cough, slicing his hands open and he's so scared of someone finding out. The bathrooms are too public so he dashes past them to the nearest cleaning supplies closet, it's not ideal but it will do until he manages to calm himself.
It's dark inside, and that alone is enough to comfort him a little. The light hurts when he's like this, his pupils won't constrict properly and the sunlight is almost enough to blind him. When it's dark he can think, can concentrate if he tries hard enough, enough to remember that he doesn't actually need to breathe any more.
His throat hurts marginally less when he stops trying, but the searing fire racing up and down it still brings tears to his eyes. There's no way out of it but to drink.
The door opens and Taiga freezes as the silhouette of a small boy enters, closing the door behind him and in the darkness Taiga inhales his scent. Tanaka Juri. They've worked together a few times but they've never been close.
“Are you OK?” Juri asks, moving cautiously closer.
“You should leave.” Taiga answers, his head pounding with need, he can smell Juri's fear, can hear the way it's making his pulse race, it has his mouth watering.
“You look feral.” Juri says with a shaky laugh, crouching down on the floor in front of Taiga and Taiga can barely hold onto himself. A noise he's not proud of claws it's way out of his throat as Juri leans closer, and Taiga has to stuff his own arm into his mouth to stop himself from biting Juri.
He can taste blood. He's not surprised, his teeth are so sharp when they grow like this, but Juri's eyes are widening as he watches. His own blood does nothing to satiate him, and every second he tastes it has him craving Juri's more.
When Juri leans forward to pull Taiga's arm from his own mouth, he snaps. It's Juri's wrist he grabs, preventing it from flailing along with his other arm as Taiga knocks him backwards onto the floor. Taiga is on top of him in the next instant, dragging Juri's wrist to his mouth.
Juri gasps as his teeth break skin, his head falling back and hitting the floor but Taiga barely even notices. The blood makes him crazy. He's not himself; the demon inside him pushing forward, controlling him, moving his body in ways Taiga could barely understand if he could even remember it.
It simultaneously soothes the ache in his throat and sets the rest of his body on fire. It tingles everywhere, vibrating his body and all he can do is keep sucking, swallowing it down until everything inside him explodes. His limbs jerk as he gulps in air on reflex and it feels like he's floating until Juri's gasp pulls him back to reality where it's dark and cold and his underwear feel sticky.
“Ow.” Juri says, pulling his wrist away from Taiga's mouth and pressing against it with the other sleeve of his hoodie as he sits up, pushing Taiga off of him. “You bit me.”
“I'm so sorry.” he gasps, his throat still burning but not quite so badly. “I didn't mean to...are you OK?”
“Didn't mean to my butt.” Juri snorts and then when he opens his mouth to speak again, he pauses, looking at Taiga in concern. “Hey...don't cry.”
Taiga hadn't even realised he was but now that he knows, he can't stop huge, wracking sobs from shaking him. “I didn't.” he cries. “I swear, I don't want to hurt anybody but I just can't stop...”
For a moment Juri just looks at him, his expression serious and contemplative. “I'm not hurt. You were only drinking for a few seconds before you...you stopped...” Taiga can see it in his eyes, he knows what happened, he knows what Taiga's body was making him do without his consent, and Taiga feels just as ashamed as he had done the morning after his first wet dream.
“I'm sorry.” Taiga says again, a new wave of tears rolling down his cheeks. “Juri, I'm sorry.”
Juri's tone sounds more bemused than hurt. “It's OK, just...next time at least warn me alright?”
“Next time?” Taiga asks, daring to hope though he has no right to.
“I've seen you get ill like this before...it's not going to stop is it?” Juri asks and Taiga shakes his head slowly, that much is certain. “If you're...if you're a vampire or whatever then...if you need to drink blood, then I don't mind...I know you can do it without killing me.”
“Juri...” Taiga says, hoping his voice is enough to express his feelings of gratitude, he can't even begin to form words, none, not even to explain, or to thank him. Tears, it seems, he still has no problems forming, and more spill over his lids as Juri's eyes roll.
“Stop crying.” Juri says in exasperation, there's a small smile on his lips though and he opens his arms to pull Taiga into them. Taiga complies, letting himself sag against Juri's chest, listening to his heartbeat as Juri's hand finds his hair to comfort him.
He can sill feel Juri's fingers threading through his hair, rubbing soothingly at his scalp, he can feel Juri's breath ghosting over his cheek as he whispers confronting words. He can still feel Juri's skin beneath his lips both in his mind and not. He opens his mouth wider, lets his tongue trace the pounding pulse beneath the surface of Juri's flesh, seeking out the tastiest spot. Juri whines, his hands tightening on Taiga's shoulders as each tentative lick rocks Juri's body with shudders.
“Yes.” Juri groans, repeating it like a mantra as Taiga lets his fangs scrape along his skin, and then finally bites down. He's gone. At the first taste of that sweet, metallic tang, Taiga is gone, everything within him driven purely by desire, by need, by agonising thirst.
His orgasm releases him, the strength of it enough to pull him back to himself and Taiga focuses through it as he groans, concentrating on Juri, on the way his own fingers are gripping Juri's hips far too hard. He sucks in deep breaths that he doesn't need, just to calm him, to bring him back down and only when he's certain he's himself again does he lean down to close up the puncture wounds he's made, wincing at the blood still seeping from them.
Juri's breath is calming too, and Taiga watches him carefully as his eyes start to roll beneath his closed lids. It scares him every time - the seconds seeming endless as he waits for Juri's heartbeat to stabilise. When it finally does he feels his body sag with relief, and cautiously he lowers himself back down to the bed, laying his head almost weightlessly on Juri's chest.
Taiga can't sleep right after he's fed, but even if he could he wouldn't. He lays by Juri's side until the sun starts to come up, just watching him, adoring him, and for those few hours he feels more whole than he'd even thought he could since becoming a monster.
He makes sure he's gone before Juri wakes up; Juri isn't his boyfriend, Taiga doesn't get to wake up beside him, pull him into his arms the way he wishes he could, he doesn't deserve the soft, unhurried kisses he yearns for the morning after and every day that follows. Taiga owes Juri the world already for allowing him to drink from him, for taking the time to learn with him what he needs and how best to give it to him, to ask for anything more beyond that would be greedy.
Juri greets him at work with a smile and a small wave, the same way he greets everyone else and Taiga knows he has no right to feel dissatisfied with that. It should be enough that Juri humours him his concerns, smiling as he assures Taiga that he feels fine, that he enjoyed himself too and that it wasn't too much. It's enough that Juri's eyes flutter closed with a soft sigh as Taiga kisses his temple and tells him that he loves him, it's enough even if Juri will never say it back.
It's enough, as much as he could hope for, but when he looks around him Taiga can't help but feel jealous. He'd known there was something special between Yamada and Yuto even before he was turned, before he had the senses to know what Yamada was and how Yuto was important to him.
He sensed it with Marius too, little more than a year ago when he joined their ranks, he smelled the fear and the loneliness and the confusion and he would have broken the unwritten rule of secrecy and approached Marius himself but within days Marius had his own saviour.
From then on Fuma has never looked at him the same and part of him wonders if Juri can sense other vampires too, or if that's some special power, something that comes with a deeper bond, something that goes beyond the bimonthly visits he pays to Juri's house.
He could never ask, even if he wanted to, there's just something inside him that tells him he can't speak the words. Yamada knows what he is, there's no doubt of that and he thinks Marius must sense it too but beyond a knowing nod there's nothing between them, Juri is all he has.
Taiga was thirteen when it happened. He doesn't remember how, it had been a day like any other until he'd woken up in the hospital with a bag of donor blood draining into him. An accident at work they'd called it, though nobody could explain how his blood levels had dropped so low when there was no sign of blood anywhere in the alley behind the Jimusho where they found him, nor any sign of physical injury on his body.
It had been the blood that woke him up, the power of it tingling all the way through his circulatory system, filling him with life and he'd known right then, without even really knowing at all, what he had become.
For weeks he relied on that donor blood, it was calling to him from somewhere inside, pulling him towards it, towards people, towards the hospital. Twice he managed to steal it but the third time he was caught. They called the police, his parents, the school and Taiga had no excuse, he claimed he was bored even if he was anything but, even if he was excited, fervent even, desperate...until Juri came along.
The next time he saw Juri after feeding on him, Taiga didn't know how to react. He was feeling he thirst already but he was too scared to ask, too scared to even mention it to Juri again, he wanted to feed, but at the same time the thought of drinking from a human terrified him. Juri offered him a small wave when their eyes met but it wasn't until after five hours of dance practice that the other boy approached him.
“So I've done a little research on that problem we were talking about last time.” Juri announces, keeping his voice low but his meaning cryptic - because in a room of fifty odd nosey little kids, no conversation is private. “There are still a few things I need your help with though, maybe I could come over to your house after school one night and we can go through it together?”
Taiga feels more frightened than he should and he can only hope it doesn't show in his expression, his throat is dry as he nods. “I'll ask my mum.”
Juri smiles wide and it's carefree enough to be at least a little contagious. “Here's my phone number, let me know when you sort something out.” and he hands over a piece of paper with a number scrawled untidily across it before ruffling Taiga's hair and leaving.
Taiga mentions Juri to his mother that night and she actually looks delighted that he wants to have a friend over. Taiga suspects that the fact it's Koki Tanaka's little brother doesn't hurt either, ever since Taiga joined the agency in the middle of KAT-TUN's concert, his mother has had a soft spot for the group, particularly Koki and Kame who took Taiga under their wings immediately.
The night Juri comes over, Taiga's mother coos over him for an embarrassing length of time before shooing them off to his room to play until dinner. Juri doesn't looked at all phased by it and Taiga supposes being Koki's younger brother has a lot of people fawning over him. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's cute too, his smile lighting up any room he walks into and it's with that thought lingering in his mind that he leads Juri up to his room.
“I looked stuff up on the internet, about you know what...” Juri starts, flopping onto Taiga's bed and Taiga hurries to close the bedroom door. “Its difficult though when there's so many movies and so much mythology about it. I mean that is what you are right?”
It's kind of amazing Taiga thinks, how calm Juri seems to be about this whole thing. He's a lot calmer than Taiga feels and it's hard for him to remember that Juri is a year younger than him. He pushes that thought quickly away, he doesn't want to think about Juri's age and what he'd done the last time. It takes Juri cocking his head in confusion to remind Taiga that he'd asked a question. “I think so.” and then he wanders over to sit beside Juri on his bed. “I don't know what an actual vampire is like, but that’s what it looks like I am...”
“Don't you know anyone else like you?” Juri asks delicately.
It still makes Taiga uncomfortable. He can't shake that look he'd received from Yuto the first day he came back to work after it. It was something curious and surprised and pitiful and yet still so distant. They've spoken since, but it's always been curt and uncomfortable - Taiga had been certain that he'd been a vampire too until Yamada entered the room.
The strength of it hit him right away, but it wasn't something he could see or even smell. It was like some other sense he'd never had before and Yamada had it to, something familiar and secret and he'd just known that he wasn't meant to speak it aloud.
He shakes his head, that sense telling him that he's not even supposed to say anything to Juri. “I don't know anything about it.”
Juri gives him a sympathetic look and then reaches for his bag. “Well, I printed some things out. There was a lot of different places saying a lot of different things and some of it sounded really off the mark but I got a pretty big variety of stuff...I thought if you would go through it with me and tell me what's right and wrong...then I can understand it better.”
Juri really is remarkable - the stack of papers he pulls out is bigger than any homework assignment Taiga has ever done. It only makes him look more adorable too, when Juri flops forward onto Taiga's bed and pulls a pair of glasses onto his face as he considers the papers seriously, a pen clutched between his teeth.
“Well.” Juri starts, and the pulls the pen from his mouth to continue. “Sunlight obviously doesn't kill you.”. He looks up at Taiga as though he needs to check anyway, even if he has seen Taiga outside in the sunlight and has witnessed the not dying it caused.
Taiga shakes his head anyway, he wants to take this seriously too. “No.”
“Does it hurt at all?” Juri asks next, placing a cross through some of the writing on his page.
“Kind of.” Taiga admits and Juri looks up at him again, his eyes bright and interested. Taiga sighs and moves to sit on the bed beside him. “The longer I go without...blood...the more it hurts, the light mostly, it hurts my eyes and where my skin is exposed...it starts to itch...”
Juri hums and writes something beside the next block of text. “Does it feel hot or cold?”
Taiga has to think about it, and he feels almost ashamed that it's taken Juri and his stack of papers to make him really think about these kind of things. “Neither really, it feels more fuzzy.”
There are more odd questions, not just about light, but about all the other common things too, garlic and crosses and consecrated ground and for every answer Taiga gives, Juri has five more questions and Taiga would feel sick of it all if he didn't know the effort Juri was going to, just to try and help him.
“So the last topic to discuss is sex.” Juri announces much later and the way he looks at Taiga says he knows how uncomfortable Taiga feels. For his part, Juri doesn't seem all that fussed, but he has the decency to phrase the questions delicately. “You said already that it doesn't really feel like you, when you're drinking, but what about your body, are you physically aware of it? Like can you feel it?”
“I guess.” Taiga answers, “Like afterwards I can kind of remember bits of it, but it doesn't feel like it's me controlling it, kind of like a dream I guess...”
“OK.” Juri answers interestedly, striking through a large section of the text. “So it's a kind of elevated, dreamlike state?” Taiga nods, that's about as close as it gets to his knowledge. “And does it feel good?”
Good doesn't even describe it. It's like an orgasm, only the last time, the time with Juri it had been so much more and part of Taiga knows that it's exactly because there was an orgasm along with it. Just thinking about it makes him too ashamed to even look at Juri though. “About last time...” Even if he doesn't want to think of it, he has to say something, to apologise at least.
“Well I certainly got the impression that it felt good.” Taiga feels the shame flooding through him all the more and he can't even speak to say he's sorry. “Hey. Don't get upset again.” Juri says almost guiltily. ”I wasn't saying that's a bad thing...it felt good to me too...”
Something inside Taiga freezes at the words and he turns to Juri with hope bubbling in his chest. “It did?”
“Well yeah...” Juri admits, his cheeks flushing a little. “I mean it kinda hurt where you bit me, but the actual feeling of you drinking my blood, it felt...indescribable...and the dry-humping didn't hurt either.”
Taiga turns away quickly, his cheeks heating up instantly. “You're a kid...you shouldn't even know what that means, never mind what it feels like...”
“Please.” Juri says with a snort. “I have three older brothers, I probably know more about that stuff than you do.” Taiga isn't about to argue, but Juri doesn't give him chance to any way. “A lot of the stuff I found said that it was pretty normal anyway..for it to be a sexual thing. And if you're OK with it then I am too...”
“What?” Taiga asks before he's even thought it, his mind just doesn't want to wrap around that one.
“Not sex, not right away...but I think I'd be OK with other stuff...”
And that's how things had started. From there it was all trial an error. Years of it, the two of them experimenting with what felt good and what not so much, how long Taiga could go between feeds and how often Juri could tolerate being fed from before his health was affected. They tested when was the best time for Taiga to bite to ensure he drank enough to keep him going while ensuring he didn't drink too much to hurt Juri, and how far from the edge it was best for Taiga to be when he bit.
They played with what they could and couldn't do, what Taiga could sustain once he was lost and what parts Juri liked best for him to be lucid through.
They've experimented with setting, and time and what places are best to bite and most of it has been good but there have been bad times too, times when Juri cried, times when he was off school for days recovering; there was that one time at the park, late at night when Taiga got too lost and tore a chunk of flesh from Juri's thigh and had to call an ambulance.
“At least now we know.” Juri would say after every one of those times, when Taiga was so ashamed of what he was that he could do nothing but cry into Juri's shoulder. “We'll just try something different next time.”
They still try new things, though they're already further through the list of things to try than two boys their ages should be. They know how things work now, and there are a variety of safe options they've found but it's always fun to find more and Taiga can't get enough of the excitement in Juri's eyes when they find something new that works.
It makes him feel like this is more than just an obligation for Juri, he knows Juri enjoys it physically, but it feels that much more special when he feels like Juri is invested in them emotionally too.
Taiga has to be emotionally invested, because Juri is everything to him, and he's the only one that ever will be. Juri can walk away from this at any time, try things with someone else, maybe have a happy, healthy relationship but Taiga won't ever have that choice, not that he would take it if he did. Juri is everything to him.
Pairing: JuriTai
Rating/Warnings: R; none graphic descriptions of underage sexual activity.
Word Count: 3746
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: Ever since he found out Taiga's secret, Juri has been the only one he can turn to, Juri is everything to him.
A/N: I think it was Orson Wells that said "Write drunk, edit sober.". Let's see how drunk editing goes...because I love fandom and I want to post something...This is the floow up to Feed on Me
It's been creeping up on him for days, twisting in the pit of his stomach, spreading, climbing like wild ivy up through his chest and coiling around his throat, suffocating him.
“Kyomoto-kun? Are you alright?”. He's choking again. “Get him some water.”. It won't help.
He keeps his mouth covered, staggers from the rehearsal room, retching, his eyes streaming. His teeth are too sharp, he can feel them digging into his palm with each cough, slicing his hands open and he's so scared of someone finding out. The bathrooms are too public so he dashes past them to the nearest cleaning supplies closet, it's not ideal but it will do until he manages to calm himself.
It's dark inside, and that alone is enough to comfort him a little. The light hurts when he's like this, his pupils won't constrict properly and the sunlight is almost enough to blind him. When it's dark he can think, can concentrate if he tries hard enough, enough to remember that he doesn't actually need to breathe any more.
His throat hurts marginally less when he stops trying, but the searing fire racing up and down it still brings tears to his eyes. There's no way out of it but to drink.
The door opens and Taiga freezes as the silhouette of a small boy enters, closing the door behind him and in the darkness Taiga inhales his scent. Tanaka Juri. They've worked together a few times but they've never been close.
“Are you OK?” Juri asks, moving cautiously closer.
“You should leave.” Taiga answers, his head pounding with need, he can smell Juri's fear, can hear the way it's making his pulse race, it has his mouth watering.
“You look feral.” Juri says with a shaky laugh, crouching down on the floor in front of Taiga and Taiga can barely hold onto himself. A noise he's not proud of claws it's way out of his throat as Juri leans closer, and Taiga has to stuff his own arm into his mouth to stop himself from biting Juri.
He can taste blood. He's not surprised, his teeth are so sharp when they grow like this, but Juri's eyes are widening as he watches. His own blood does nothing to satiate him, and every second he tastes it has him craving Juri's more.
When Juri leans forward to pull Taiga's arm from his own mouth, he snaps. It's Juri's wrist he grabs, preventing it from flailing along with his other arm as Taiga knocks him backwards onto the floor. Taiga is on top of him in the next instant, dragging Juri's wrist to his mouth.
Juri gasps as his teeth break skin, his head falling back and hitting the floor but Taiga barely even notices. The blood makes him crazy. He's not himself; the demon inside him pushing forward, controlling him, moving his body in ways Taiga could barely understand if he could even remember it.
It simultaneously soothes the ache in his throat and sets the rest of his body on fire. It tingles everywhere, vibrating his body and all he can do is keep sucking, swallowing it down until everything inside him explodes. His limbs jerk as he gulps in air on reflex and it feels like he's floating until Juri's gasp pulls him back to reality where it's dark and cold and his underwear feel sticky.
“Ow.” Juri says, pulling his wrist away from Taiga's mouth and pressing against it with the other sleeve of his hoodie as he sits up, pushing Taiga off of him. “You bit me.”
“I'm so sorry.” he gasps, his throat still burning but not quite so badly. “I didn't mean to...are you OK?”
“Didn't mean to my butt.” Juri snorts and then when he opens his mouth to speak again, he pauses, looking at Taiga in concern. “Hey...don't cry.”
Taiga hadn't even realised he was but now that he knows, he can't stop huge, wracking sobs from shaking him. “I didn't.” he cries. “I swear, I don't want to hurt anybody but I just can't stop...”
For a moment Juri just looks at him, his expression serious and contemplative. “I'm not hurt. You were only drinking for a few seconds before you...you stopped...” Taiga can see it in his eyes, he knows what happened, he knows what Taiga's body was making him do without his consent, and Taiga feels just as ashamed as he had done the morning after his first wet dream.
“I'm sorry.” Taiga says again, a new wave of tears rolling down his cheeks. “Juri, I'm sorry.”
Juri's tone sounds more bemused than hurt. “It's OK, just...next time at least warn me alright?”
“Next time?” Taiga asks, daring to hope though he has no right to.
“I've seen you get ill like this before...it's not going to stop is it?” Juri asks and Taiga shakes his head slowly, that much is certain. “If you're...if you're a vampire or whatever then...if you need to drink blood, then I don't mind...I know you can do it without killing me.”
“Juri...” Taiga says, hoping his voice is enough to express his feelings of gratitude, he can't even begin to form words, none, not even to explain, or to thank him. Tears, it seems, he still has no problems forming, and more spill over his lids as Juri's eyes roll.
“Stop crying.” Juri says in exasperation, there's a small smile on his lips though and he opens his arms to pull Taiga into them. Taiga complies, letting himself sag against Juri's chest, listening to his heartbeat as Juri's hand finds his hair to comfort him.
He can sill feel Juri's fingers threading through his hair, rubbing soothingly at his scalp, he can feel Juri's breath ghosting over his cheek as he whispers confronting words. He can still feel Juri's skin beneath his lips both in his mind and not. He opens his mouth wider, lets his tongue trace the pounding pulse beneath the surface of Juri's flesh, seeking out the tastiest spot. Juri whines, his hands tightening on Taiga's shoulders as each tentative lick rocks Juri's body with shudders.
“Yes.” Juri groans, repeating it like a mantra as Taiga lets his fangs scrape along his skin, and then finally bites down. He's gone. At the first taste of that sweet, metallic tang, Taiga is gone, everything within him driven purely by desire, by need, by agonising thirst.
His orgasm releases him, the strength of it enough to pull him back to himself and Taiga focuses through it as he groans, concentrating on Juri, on the way his own fingers are gripping Juri's hips far too hard. He sucks in deep breaths that he doesn't need, just to calm him, to bring him back down and only when he's certain he's himself again does he lean down to close up the puncture wounds he's made, wincing at the blood still seeping from them.
Juri's breath is calming too, and Taiga watches him carefully as his eyes start to roll beneath his closed lids. It scares him every time - the seconds seeming endless as he waits for Juri's heartbeat to stabilise. When it finally does he feels his body sag with relief, and cautiously he lowers himself back down to the bed, laying his head almost weightlessly on Juri's chest.
Taiga can't sleep right after he's fed, but even if he could he wouldn't. He lays by Juri's side until the sun starts to come up, just watching him, adoring him, and for those few hours he feels more whole than he'd even thought he could since becoming a monster.
He makes sure he's gone before Juri wakes up; Juri isn't his boyfriend, Taiga doesn't get to wake up beside him, pull him into his arms the way he wishes he could, he doesn't deserve the soft, unhurried kisses he yearns for the morning after and every day that follows. Taiga owes Juri the world already for allowing him to drink from him, for taking the time to learn with him what he needs and how best to give it to him, to ask for anything more beyond that would be greedy.
Juri greets him at work with a smile and a small wave, the same way he greets everyone else and Taiga knows he has no right to feel dissatisfied with that. It should be enough that Juri humours him his concerns, smiling as he assures Taiga that he feels fine, that he enjoyed himself too and that it wasn't too much. It's enough that Juri's eyes flutter closed with a soft sigh as Taiga kisses his temple and tells him that he loves him, it's enough even if Juri will never say it back.
It's enough, as much as he could hope for, but when he looks around him Taiga can't help but feel jealous. He'd known there was something special between Yamada and Yuto even before he was turned, before he had the senses to know what Yamada was and how Yuto was important to him.
He sensed it with Marius too, little more than a year ago when he joined their ranks, he smelled the fear and the loneliness and the confusion and he would have broken the unwritten rule of secrecy and approached Marius himself but within days Marius had his own saviour.
From then on Fuma has never looked at him the same and part of him wonders if Juri can sense other vampires too, or if that's some special power, something that comes with a deeper bond, something that goes beyond the bimonthly visits he pays to Juri's house.
He could never ask, even if he wanted to, there's just something inside him that tells him he can't speak the words. Yamada knows what he is, there's no doubt of that and he thinks Marius must sense it too but beyond a knowing nod there's nothing between them, Juri is all he has.
Taiga was thirteen when it happened. He doesn't remember how, it had been a day like any other until he'd woken up in the hospital with a bag of donor blood draining into him. An accident at work they'd called it, though nobody could explain how his blood levels had dropped so low when there was no sign of blood anywhere in the alley behind the Jimusho where they found him, nor any sign of physical injury on his body.
It had been the blood that woke him up, the power of it tingling all the way through his circulatory system, filling him with life and he'd known right then, without even really knowing at all, what he had become.
For weeks he relied on that donor blood, it was calling to him from somewhere inside, pulling him towards it, towards people, towards the hospital. Twice he managed to steal it but the third time he was caught. They called the police, his parents, the school and Taiga had no excuse, he claimed he was bored even if he was anything but, even if he was excited, fervent even, desperate...until Juri came along.
The next time he saw Juri after feeding on him, Taiga didn't know how to react. He was feeling he thirst already but he was too scared to ask, too scared to even mention it to Juri again, he wanted to feed, but at the same time the thought of drinking from a human terrified him. Juri offered him a small wave when their eyes met but it wasn't until after five hours of dance practice that the other boy approached him.
“So I've done a little research on that problem we were talking about last time.” Juri announces, keeping his voice low but his meaning cryptic - because in a room of fifty odd nosey little kids, no conversation is private. “There are still a few things I need your help with though, maybe I could come over to your house after school one night and we can go through it together?”
Taiga feels more frightened than he should and he can only hope it doesn't show in his expression, his throat is dry as he nods. “I'll ask my mum.”
Juri smiles wide and it's carefree enough to be at least a little contagious. “Here's my phone number, let me know when you sort something out.” and he hands over a piece of paper with a number scrawled untidily across it before ruffling Taiga's hair and leaving.
Taiga mentions Juri to his mother that night and she actually looks delighted that he wants to have a friend over. Taiga suspects that the fact it's Koki Tanaka's little brother doesn't hurt either, ever since Taiga joined the agency in the middle of KAT-TUN's concert, his mother has had a soft spot for the group, particularly Koki and Kame who took Taiga under their wings immediately.
The night Juri comes over, Taiga's mother coos over him for an embarrassing length of time before shooing them off to his room to play until dinner. Juri doesn't looked at all phased by it and Taiga supposes being Koki's younger brother has a lot of people fawning over him. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's cute too, his smile lighting up any room he walks into and it's with that thought lingering in his mind that he leads Juri up to his room.
“I looked stuff up on the internet, about you know what...” Juri starts, flopping onto Taiga's bed and Taiga hurries to close the bedroom door. “Its difficult though when there's so many movies and so much mythology about it. I mean that is what you are right?”
It's kind of amazing Taiga thinks, how calm Juri seems to be about this whole thing. He's a lot calmer than Taiga feels and it's hard for him to remember that Juri is a year younger than him. He pushes that thought quickly away, he doesn't want to think about Juri's age and what he'd done the last time. It takes Juri cocking his head in confusion to remind Taiga that he'd asked a question. “I think so.” and then he wanders over to sit beside Juri on his bed. “I don't know what an actual vampire is like, but that’s what it looks like I am...”
“Don't you know anyone else like you?” Juri asks delicately.
It still makes Taiga uncomfortable. He can't shake that look he'd received from Yuto the first day he came back to work after it. It was something curious and surprised and pitiful and yet still so distant. They've spoken since, but it's always been curt and uncomfortable - Taiga had been certain that he'd been a vampire too until Yamada entered the room.
The strength of it hit him right away, but it wasn't something he could see or even smell. It was like some other sense he'd never had before and Yamada had it to, something familiar and secret and he'd just known that he wasn't meant to speak it aloud.
He shakes his head, that sense telling him that he's not even supposed to say anything to Juri. “I don't know anything about it.”
Juri gives him a sympathetic look and then reaches for his bag. “Well, I printed some things out. There was a lot of different places saying a lot of different things and some of it sounded really off the mark but I got a pretty big variety of stuff...I thought if you would go through it with me and tell me what's right and wrong...then I can understand it better.”
Juri really is remarkable - the stack of papers he pulls out is bigger than any homework assignment Taiga has ever done. It only makes him look more adorable too, when Juri flops forward onto Taiga's bed and pulls a pair of glasses onto his face as he considers the papers seriously, a pen clutched between his teeth.
“Well.” Juri starts, and the pulls the pen from his mouth to continue. “Sunlight obviously doesn't kill you.”. He looks up at Taiga as though he needs to check anyway, even if he has seen Taiga outside in the sunlight and has witnessed the not dying it caused.
Taiga shakes his head anyway, he wants to take this seriously too. “No.”
“Does it hurt at all?” Juri asks next, placing a cross through some of the writing on his page.
“Kind of.” Taiga admits and Juri looks up at him again, his eyes bright and interested. Taiga sighs and moves to sit on the bed beside him. “The longer I go without...blood...the more it hurts, the light mostly, it hurts my eyes and where my skin is exposed...it starts to itch...”
Juri hums and writes something beside the next block of text. “Does it feel hot or cold?”
Taiga has to think about it, and he feels almost ashamed that it's taken Juri and his stack of papers to make him really think about these kind of things. “Neither really, it feels more fuzzy.”
There are more odd questions, not just about light, but about all the other common things too, garlic and crosses and consecrated ground and for every answer Taiga gives, Juri has five more questions and Taiga would feel sick of it all if he didn't know the effort Juri was going to, just to try and help him.
“So the last topic to discuss is sex.” Juri announces much later and the way he looks at Taiga says he knows how uncomfortable Taiga feels. For his part, Juri doesn't seem all that fussed, but he has the decency to phrase the questions delicately. “You said already that it doesn't really feel like you, when you're drinking, but what about your body, are you physically aware of it? Like can you feel it?”
“I guess.” Taiga answers, “Like afterwards I can kind of remember bits of it, but it doesn't feel like it's me controlling it, kind of like a dream I guess...”
“OK.” Juri answers interestedly, striking through a large section of the text. “So it's a kind of elevated, dreamlike state?” Taiga nods, that's about as close as it gets to his knowledge. “And does it feel good?”
Good doesn't even describe it. It's like an orgasm, only the last time, the time with Juri it had been so much more and part of Taiga knows that it's exactly because there was an orgasm along with it. Just thinking about it makes him too ashamed to even look at Juri though. “About last time...” Even if he doesn't want to think of it, he has to say something, to apologise at least.
“Well I certainly got the impression that it felt good.” Taiga feels the shame flooding through him all the more and he can't even speak to say he's sorry. “Hey. Don't get upset again.” Juri says almost guiltily. ”I wasn't saying that's a bad thing...it felt good to me too...”
Something inside Taiga freezes at the words and he turns to Juri with hope bubbling in his chest. “It did?”
“Well yeah...” Juri admits, his cheeks flushing a little. “I mean it kinda hurt where you bit me, but the actual feeling of you drinking my blood, it felt...indescribable...and the dry-humping didn't hurt either.”
Taiga turns away quickly, his cheeks heating up instantly. “You're a kid...you shouldn't even know what that means, never mind what it feels like...”
“Please.” Juri says with a snort. “I have three older brothers, I probably know more about that stuff than you do.” Taiga isn't about to argue, but Juri doesn't give him chance to any way. “A lot of the stuff I found said that it was pretty normal anyway..for it to be a sexual thing. And if you're OK with it then I am too...”
“What?” Taiga asks before he's even thought it, his mind just doesn't want to wrap around that one.
“Not sex, not right away...but I think I'd be OK with other stuff...”
And that's how things had started. From there it was all trial an error. Years of it, the two of them experimenting with what felt good and what not so much, how long Taiga could go between feeds and how often Juri could tolerate being fed from before his health was affected. They tested when was the best time for Taiga to bite to ensure he drank enough to keep him going while ensuring he didn't drink too much to hurt Juri, and how far from the edge it was best for Taiga to be when he bit.
They played with what they could and couldn't do, what Taiga could sustain once he was lost and what parts Juri liked best for him to be lucid through.
They've experimented with setting, and time and what places are best to bite and most of it has been good but there have been bad times too, times when Juri cried, times when he was off school for days recovering; there was that one time at the park, late at night when Taiga got too lost and tore a chunk of flesh from Juri's thigh and had to call an ambulance.
“At least now we know.” Juri would say after every one of those times, when Taiga was so ashamed of what he was that he could do nothing but cry into Juri's shoulder. “We'll just try something different next time.”
They still try new things, though they're already further through the list of things to try than two boys their ages should be. They know how things work now, and there are a variety of safe options they've found but it's always fun to find more and Taiga can't get enough of the excitement in Juri's eyes when they find something new that works.
It makes him feel like this is more than just an obligation for Juri, he knows Juri enjoys it physically, but it feels that much more special when he feels like Juri is invested in them emotionally too.
Taiga has to be emotionally invested, because Juri is everything to him, and he's the only one that ever will be. Juri can walk away from this at any time, try things with someone else, maybe have a happy, healthy relationship but Taiga won't ever have that choice, not that he would take it if he did. Juri is everything to him.