Man vs. Chimp, An Exploratory Analysis

[thesasseffect]

Recent news of a woman being brutally attacked by a chimpanzee has sparked  debate with my roommate over whether I could defend myself against an attacking chimpanzee or I, too, would end up mauled and handless.

In my "research" I came across two Google Answers threads entertaining the same question. Bruce Lee vs. A Chimp; who would win?. The

Comments

[thesasseffect]

All of your points were addressed. You should really read the entry-- much more important than eating chips.

[thejameslehman]

Even if it were as small as a Rhesus macaque, I'd put my money on the non-human primate.

[thesasseffect]

but isn't that a depressing thought? that despite our highly superior intellectual advances we're as meek as mice? perhaps i just don't want to believe it..

[thejameslehman]

Compared to macaques, we're weak little aliens. All things being equal, it wouldn't be hard for a post-pubertal male to win.

And additionally, if the human gets a scratch and contracts herpes B, he or she will have only an 20% chance of survival without treatment.

[gameshints]

What the fuck?