Threshold of Revelation (A Star Trek RPF Fanfic)
Title: Threshold of Revelation
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,965
Summary: Chris sees Zach in Angels in America, feels feelings.
A/N: No real spoilers, but references to scenes, lines, and themes from AiA.
“Jesus Christ, Zach.” Chris shook his head slowly, his limbs still tingling, a fluttery feeling still pulsing in his belly. “That was…Jesus.”
Zach gave him a slight smile as he zipped up his hoodie. “Yeah. So. You liked it?”
“God, yeah. I mean, holy shit.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “That was one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen.”
Zach nodded and turned away. “Yeah. They’re pretty amazing, aren’t they?”
Chris nodded for a second before he took a step forward, and when Zach turned around, he wrapped him in an embrace.
“Um. Hi,” Zach said, his arms cautiously circling Chris’s waist.
“Sorry,” Chris breathed. “You just looked like you could use a hug or something.”
“Everyone tells me that after this one. I don’t know, it’s just residual emotion or something. I’m fine.”
“Jesus, I can’t blame you,” Chris said, but he didn’t let him go just yet. “You didn’t tell me I was coming out here to feel emotions and shit.”
“Oh come on, you’ve read the play.”
“It’s not the same,” Chris said. “You were amazing, you know?”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah.” Chris dropped his arms and stepped away, smiling. “Now buck up and take me out to eat, I’m starving.”
Zach picked up his messenger bag and gestured toward the door out into the lobby.
“What, no back entrance?”
“Nah.”
“Straight through the lobby? Through the…the…”
“The loyal fans?”
“Sure, uh-huh, yeah, that’s what I was going to say.” He gave Zach a look. “You have a strategy?”
“Yeah. Run.”
**
“So, uh. Can I ask you something?”
They were sitting in a dimly lit corner of the restaurant, a small candle flickering on the white tablecloth between them. Zach played with the stem of his wineglass as he waited for Chris to answer.
“Hit me.”
“Like, how much of my cock could you actually see?”
Chris choked on his bite of Caesar salad, coughing for a minute before he was able to take a drink of water and a wheezing breath. “Jesus,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I really, really was not expecting that. Bastard.”
Zach chuckled, but Chris was pretty sure he was serious about the question, so he cleared his throat and tried to answer. “Um. You know. I wasn’t really staring in that general area. So I didn’t personally see anything. Plus, you know. I think it was probably in shadow and stuff, so I’m sure it wasn’t really visible. I mean, not that it would matter,” Chris said, stumbling over his words. “I mean, I’m sure it would be fine if they could see it, I’m sure it’s, you know…” he trailed off, feeling his cheeks flush. Zach was grinning.
“Your blind confidence in my manhood is inspiring,” he said, lifting his glass to take a sip of wine.
“Yeah, well. It’s gonna remain blind as long as I have something to say about it.”
Zach set his wineglass down with a sigh. “I just, you know, I don’t want to look like I’m trying to hide it. But the scene is dark in tone anyway, and there’s like this duality of Louis being exposed and yet hiding at the same time, so it’s like-“
“Zach.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re not seriously having a conversation with me about how Louis’s inner turmoil should be reflected in the visibility of your cock.”
“Why not?”
Chris sighed and looked at his remaining Caesar salad in dismay.
“What?”
“For various reasons, I think I’ve lost my appetite.”
Zach rolled his eyes. “Have another drink.”
**
“Man,” Chris said, bouncing his knees under the table. “I am still totally buzzing on all of the emotions.”
Zach shook his head. “You’re not buzzed on emotions, Chris. You’re drunk. On wine.” He looked pointedly at the three empty bottles of red on the table.
“No way. Wine makes me sleepy. I’m totally hyped up right now.” He touched a hand to his stomach, where he could still feel the clench of nerves that he’d been experiencing since hours before the play began. He glanced at his watch - 3:30 AM. “Shit, it’s late.”
“Wanna head out?”
“Yeah, but there’s no way I’ll be able to fall asleep right now. Can we go to your place? Play some Wii or something?”
“I don’t have a TV.”
“Fine, Jenga then. Whatever you do in New York. Sit on the fire escape and read poetry, I don't know.”
Zach looked thoughtful. “Want to go smoke a bowl and gossip?”
Chris grinned and stood up from his chair. “Now you’re talkin’.”
**
“God, that is some good shit,” Chris said. He was sprawled across the couch, and he let his arm drop to the floor. “Where’d you get it?”
“Some guy I was seeing a while back,” Zach said from the other end of the couch, blinking slowly as he tried to stay awake.
Chris lifted his head a little. “Guy you were seeing? That’s a little vague.”
Zach shrugged.
“What does that mean in Quinto-speak, anyway?”
“We went out, we fucked, we smoked.”
“He started telling people he was Zachary Quinto’s boyfriend, you started talking about the duality of Louis’s cock, he accused you of loving the theater more than him, and that was the end of that?”
Zach narrowed his eyes at Chris through the lingering haze in the room. “Fuck you.”
Chris grinned.
“Did you fuck Reese Witherspoon?”
“Nah. Not my type.”
“Ah. Smart?”
“Fuck you.”
“Did you fuck her body double?”
Chris grinned at the ceiling and didn’t answer.
“Slut.”
“She wasn’t a slut, she was a very nice girl.”
“I meant- oh god, never mind, I’m exhausted.” He looked up and down Chris’s prone form in dismay. “Why do I feel like you’re not planning to leave.”
Chris stretched his arms up above his head and his shirt rode up a little, exposing the pale fuzz on his toned stomach. Zach shoved himself up off the couch and headed into the bathroom to take a piss.
Chris pushed himself up into a sitting position. Zach had left the bathroom door open a few inches, and Chris could see the corner of the counter and the mirror. He scrambled to his knees and leaned a little farther over the back of the couch until he caught a glimpse of Zach’s side in the mirror, his leg and his hip and his arm as he shook himself off, and Chris just managed to stop himself from falling over before he heard Zach zipping up. He climbed over the back of the couch and headed toward the open door, shoving in past Zach as he stepped out.
“Yo, pushy,” Zach exclaimed.
“I gotta pee!”
He took care of business, then made his way down the hall and into Zach’s bedroom.
“What do you want?” Zach said, pulling his t-shirt off over his head.
Chris nodded toward the comfy-looking king size bed that took up most of the room. “To sleep.”
“Um, no?”
“Oh come on! You have a huge bed. I won’t even touch you,” Chris said, climbing on top of the covers.
“I don’t care if you touch me,” Zach said with an exasperated laugh. He stepped over to the side of the bed and grabbed the edge of the blanket. “Get off.”
“Zach, come on!” Chris whined.
Zach rolled his eyes. “I mean move so I can pull the covers down, idiot.”
Chris opened his mouth and then closed it. “Oh.” He slid off the bed, waited for Zach to pull the comforter down, and the climbed hesitantly onto the mattress. He eyed Zach’s skinny jeans skeptically.
“Are you sleeping in those? That cannot possibly be comfortable.”
Zach stared at him defiantly, not breaking eye contact as he reached down to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Chris caught a glimpse of black briefs and wondered for a second if he might be subjected to more, but Zach stopped there, flopping down onto the bed with the jeans still on. Chris let out the breath he’d been holding as Zach reached over to turn out the light.
“You can’t take them off, can you?” he asked, joking.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Maybe they’re too integral to the Zachary Quinto persona to be removed. Maybe they’re like a…second skin,” Chris said, smirking.
“Oh my god,” Zach groaned. “You’re so impressed with yourself right now, aren’t you?”
Chris actually was pretty proud of the reference, and he wriggled into the mattress, giving an exaggerated stretch of his limbs.
“Goodnight, Chris.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Chris kicked his feet a little under the covers and scrunched around until he got comfortable. He watched Zach’s profile in the dim light.
“What?” Zach asked, his eyes still aimed at the ceiling.
“What?”
“I can feel you staring at me.”
“I’m not,” Chris said, still staring.
Zach turned his head to look over, and Chris closed the distance between them to press a warm, dry kiss against Zach’s lips, surprising them both.
Chris pulled back a few inches and caught Zach’s eye.
“What was that for?” Zach asked, swallowing hard.
Chris shrugged and looked away. “Felt like it.”
“Oh.” Zach looked back up at the ceiling and shifted a little on the pillows. “Carry on, then.”
“Wha-“ Chris started, but his body was two steps ahead of him, and he was pushing himself up on an elbow and leaning over Zach to kiss him again. Chris could feel the quirk of Zach’s lips just before they parted, and the first touch of their tongues sent an unexpected flood of arousal straight to his cock. His hand was on Zach’s hip, thumb stroking along the dangerous line between denim and skin, and he felt Zach’s hand come up to tangle in his hair. The kiss felt dark and rich, and Chris luxuriated in it, sliding his tongue against Zach’s, tasting him, breathing him in, overwhelming his senses until waves of heat rushed across his skin.
“Stop,” Zach breathed, turning his head away as he pressed a palm against Chris’s chest. “Oh god, Chris, Jesus, we have to stop,” he said with a helpless laugh. He flung an arm across his eyes, and Chris watched his bare chest heave as he breathed deeply, in through the nose and out through the mouth. “Oh god.”
“What? Why?”
“I can’t…I need to focus. I’m getting all excited and this is…” He dropped his arm to look at Chris. “It was bad enough tonight just knowing you were there. I can’t have this - I can’t be thinking about - shit.”
“Zach, you’ll be fine,” Chris said, his voice soothing. He pressed a kiss to Zach’s chest, then another one, his eyes flashing bright in the darkness as he glanced seductively up at Zach.
“Oh god, I hate you,” Zach groaned. “Chris, you have the shittiest timing on earth, you know that?”
“Sorry,” Chris whispered, his chin still resting on Zach’s sternum.
“Why now? Why?” Zach asked, despair creeping into his voice.
Chris nuzzled into Zach’s chest. “I lied to you, earlier.”
Zach lifted his head from his pillow. “When? Wait, you did have sex with Reese Witherspoon?”
“No,” Chris said, chuckling. “When…I mean, when I said I didn’t look at your…duality...”
Zach laughed.
“I did. I mean, I was. Looking.”
“And?”
“Well, I couldn’t see much. And I, uh. I kind of wanted to see more.” He glanced up to find Zach looking at him, his expression unreadable in the dark. “And holy hell,” Chris continued in a rush, “your scene at the end, I mean, Jesus, what the fuck do you expect, I think you seduced the entire fucking audience! That little smile thing you had going on, I mean, you can’t just do that to people!”
Zach narrowed his eyes and curled his lips into Louis’s seductive smile.
“Yep, that’s the one,” Chris said, lunging up to claim Zach’s mouth with a bruising kiss. “Oh, sorry,” he panted, pulling back after a long second. “I forgot. Focus.”
“Too fucking late for that,” Zach said, rolling Chris onto his back, fingers splayed against his cheek as he took control of the kiss. His cock strained against his briefs, brushing against Chris’s hip as he pressed forward. He inhaled sharply at the sensation and reached down to grab Chris’s hand and bring it to his crotch. “Come on,” he said, his voice a low growl. “Don’t fuck around.”
Chris moaned and scrabbled to get his hand into Zach’s shorts, exhaling audibly as he wrapped his fingers around Zach’s cock. “Fuck, I knew it,” Chris said, stroking tentatively along the impressive length. “You’re huge.”
Zach made an unintelligible sound of appreciation and rolled his hips, pressing into Chris’s tightening fist. They kissed sloppily, Zach sucking at Chris’s bottom lip as he slid his hand down.
“Can I?” he asked, rubbing over the bulge in Chris’s jeans.
“Fuck, yes,” Chris breathed, and Zach had a hand on him in seconds, touching him expertly, even if his palm was damp with sweat.
Zach buried his face in Chris’s shoulder, his mouth open, panting a hot, damp patch onto Chris’s t-shirt as they stroked each other with intent. He could feel Chris arching up, could hear the small sounds in the back of his throat that meant he was trying not to cry out, but Zach gave into it, letting loose his wordless groans as he felt his climax build. Letting Chris’s name fall from his lips as he came with a shudder.
Chris had his eyes squeezed shut, his wrist between his teeth as Zach’s fist blurred over his cock, and Zach bit wetly at his chin and jaw until he went still, his cock pulsing in Zach’s hand for long seconds before he relaxed, sagging bonelessly into the mattress.
Zach’s face was still pressed into his neck, a heavy leg and arm slung across Chris’s body. “Zach. Um. Can you…?”
“No,” Zach said, muffled against his skin. “I’m passing out like this. G’night.”
Chris gave his shoulder a little push. “Come on. Move, just a little, okay?”
Zach groaned and flopped over, and Chris stretched out along his side. “Zach,” he whispered.
“Mm-hmm?”
“You didn’t tell me I was coming out here to feel emotions and shit.”
“Yeah, well,” Zach said, his eyes still closed, “this part wasn’t in the script.” He found Chris’s hand on his stomach, pulled it up over his pounding heart, and gave it a squeeze. “Night, Chris.”
“Night.”
**
Chris stayed in his seat for a minute, chewing on the corner of his program, waiting to leave the theater until the lights were no longer blurring in his eyes. The house manager let him into the back, where he found Zach pulling his bag over his shoulder, ready to leave. Chris stepped close and wrapped his arms around Zach’s shoulders.
“What? Do I look sad again?”
“No, you were grinning like an idiot during the bows. I was the one crying.”
“Emotions?”
“Fuck ‘em.” He scratched lightly at Zach’s back. “Also, you looked really, really sexy in that last scene.”
“Ah.”
“Really sexy.”
“Chris…”
“Hey Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Remember when we, um, made out?”
“You mean…last night?”
“Yeah.” Chris pulled back an inch to look at him. “Why, was there another time?”
Zach laughed and pulled him close again. “No. And yes. I remember. Why do you think I was grinning?”
“You know, I noticed that you didn’t take your pants off in this one.”
“No. And again, that shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, since you’ve read the play.”
“Yeah, I know. I was just hoping there was, like, an added scene or something. I was going to look a little harder this time.”
Zach pulled him close to murmur in his ear. “Why don’t you look a little harder when we get back to my apartment?”
“I’m going to be a little harder when we walk through that lobby if you don’t let go of me,” Chris muttered, reaching down to adjust himself. “Shit.”
“Think unsexy thoughts.”
“Zach, I can’t think unsexy thoughts when you’re in the building, much less, you know…” He nudged Zach’s cheek with his nose and Zach turned to kiss him lightly on the lips.
“Doing that?”
“Yeah. Stop it.”
Zach dropped his arms and moved away, heading for the door. Chris put on his least approachable scowl and stayed close as they stepped outside.
**
Chris checked the clock again and set his book down with a sigh. He couldn’t focus.
On the other side of the country, Zach sped up a few paces, turned a corner, and hailed a cab.
Chris answered his phone on the second ring.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Saw the Times review. Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
“You alright?” He’d started asking that every time Zach called him after Millennium Approaches.
“Drained. Exhausted. You know. The usual.”
Chris chewed on a fingernail. He glanced at the dog-eared copy of Angels in America on the kitchen table, held open by an empty coffee mug to the words he’d just been reading.
PRIOR: Are you…a ghost, Lou?
LOUIS: No. Just spectral. Lost to myself. Sitting all day on cold park benches. Wishing I could be with you.
Dance with me, babe…
Zach’s voice pulled him back. “Chris? You there?”
“I need to come out there again, Zach. I keep thinking about it. My heart is aching.”
Zach was silent for a moment. “Are you talking about the play, or…us?”
“I don’t know.”
“Come back to New York, Chris. Come see me again,” Zach said softly.
Chris felt a flutter of nerves, a familiar rush of anticipation in his stomach. “I will.” His eyes flicked back to the book on the table and he smiled. “Prepare the way.”
Zach grinned and slumped back into his seat as the lights of the city sped past. “The great work begins.”
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,965
Summary: Chris sees Zach in Angels in America, feels feelings.
A/N: No real spoilers, but references to scenes, lines, and themes from AiA.
“Jesus Christ, Zach.” Chris shook his head slowly, his limbs still tingling, a fluttery feeling still pulsing in his belly. “That was…Jesus.”
Zach gave him a slight smile as he zipped up his hoodie. “Yeah. So. You liked it?”
“God, yeah. I mean, holy shit.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “That was one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen.”
Zach nodded and turned away. “Yeah. They’re pretty amazing, aren’t they?”
Chris nodded for a second before he took a step forward, and when Zach turned around, he wrapped him in an embrace.
“Um. Hi,” Zach said, his arms cautiously circling Chris’s waist.
“Sorry,” Chris breathed. “You just looked like you could use a hug or something.”
“Everyone tells me that after this one. I don’t know, it’s just residual emotion or something. I’m fine.”
“Jesus, I can’t blame you,” Chris said, but he didn’t let him go just yet. “You didn’t tell me I was coming out here to feel emotions and shit.”
“Oh come on, you’ve read the play.”
“It’s not the same,” Chris said. “You were amazing, you know?”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah.” Chris dropped his arms and stepped away, smiling. “Now buck up and take me out to eat, I’m starving.”
Zach picked up his messenger bag and gestured toward the door out into the lobby.
“What, no back entrance?”
“Nah.”
“Straight through the lobby? Through the…the…”
“The loyal fans?”
“Sure, uh-huh, yeah, that’s what I was going to say.” He gave Zach a look. “You have a strategy?”
“Yeah. Run.”
**
“So, uh. Can I ask you something?”
They were sitting in a dimly lit corner of the restaurant, a small candle flickering on the white tablecloth between them. Zach played with the stem of his wineglass as he waited for Chris to answer.
“Hit me.”
“Like, how much of my cock could you actually see?”
Chris choked on his bite of Caesar salad, coughing for a minute before he was able to take a drink of water and a wheezing breath. “Jesus,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I really, really was not expecting that. Bastard.”
Zach chuckled, but Chris was pretty sure he was serious about the question, so he cleared his throat and tried to answer. “Um. You know. I wasn’t really staring in that general area. So I didn’t personally see anything. Plus, you know. I think it was probably in shadow and stuff, so I’m sure it wasn’t really visible. I mean, not that it would matter,” Chris said, stumbling over his words. “I mean, I’m sure it would be fine if they could see it, I’m sure it’s, you know…” he trailed off, feeling his cheeks flush. Zach was grinning.
“Your blind confidence in my manhood is inspiring,” he said, lifting his glass to take a sip of wine.
“Yeah, well. It’s gonna remain blind as long as I have something to say about it.”
Zach set his wineglass down with a sigh. “I just, you know, I don’t want to look like I’m trying to hide it. But the scene is dark in tone anyway, and there’s like this duality of Louis being exposed and yet hiding at the same time, so it’s like-“
“Zach.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re not seriously having a conversation with me about how Louis’s inner turmoil should be reflected in the visibility of your cock.”
“Why not?”
Chris sighed and looked at his remaining Caesar salad in dismay.
“What?”
“For various reasons, I think I’ve lost my appetite.”
Zach rolled his eyes. “Have another drink.”
**
“Man,” Chris said, bouncing his knees under the table. “I am still totally buzzing on all of the emotions.”
Zach shook his head. “You’re not buzzed on emotions, Chris. You’re drunk. On wine.” He looked pointedly at the three empty bottles of red on the table.
“No way. Wine makes me sleepy. I’m totally hyped up right now.” He touched a hand to his stomach, where he could still feel the clench of nerves that he’d been experiencing since hours before the play began. He glanced at his watch - 3:30 AM. “Shit, it’s late.”
“Wanna head out?”
“Yeah, but there’s no way I’ll be able to fall asleep right now. Can we go to your place? Play some Wii or something?”
“I don’t have a TV.”
“Fine, Jenga then. Whatever you do in New York. Sit on the fire escape and read poetry, I don't know.”
Zach looked thoughtful. “Want to go smoke a bowl and gossip?”
Chris grinned and stood up from his chair. “Now you’re talkin’.”
**
“God, that is some good shit,” Chris said. He was sprawled across the couch, and he let his arm drop to the floor. “Where’d you get it?”
“Some guy I was seeing a while back,” Zach said from the other end of the couch, blinking slowly as he tried to stay awake.
Chris lifted his head a little. “Guy you were seeing? That’s a little vague.”
Zach shrugged.
“What does that mean in Quinto-speak, anyway?”
“We went out, we fucked, we smoked.”
“He started telling people he was Zachary Quinto’s boyfriend, you started talking about the duality of Louis’s cock, he accused you of loving the theater more than him, and that was the end of that?”
Zach narrowed his eyes at Chris through the lingering haze in the room. “Fuck you.”
Chris grinned.
“Did you fuck Reese Witherspoon?”
“Nah. Not my type.”
“Ah. Smart?”
“Fuck you.”
“Did you fuck her body double?”
Chris grinned at the ceiling and didn’t answer.
“Slut.”
“She wasn’t a slut, she was a very nice girl.”
“I meant- oh god, never mind, I’m exhausted.” He looked up and down Chris’s prone form in dismay. “Why do I feel like you’re not planning to leave.”
Chris stretched his arms up above his head and his shirt rode up a little, exposing the pale fuzz on his toned stomach. Zach shoved himself up off the couch and headed into the bathroom to take a piss.
Chris pushed himself up into a sitting position. Zach had left the bathroom door open a few inches, and Chris could see the corner of the counter and the mirror. He scrambled to his knees and leaned a little farther over the back of the couch until he caught a glimpse of Zach’s side in the mirror, his leg and his hip and his arm as he shook himself off, and Chris just managed to stop himself from falling over before he heard Zach zipping up. He climbed over the back of the couch and headed toward the open door, shoving in past Zach as he stepped out.
“Yo, pushy,” Zach exclaimed.
“I gotta pee!”
He took care of business, then made his way down the hall and into Zach’s bedroom.
“What do you want?” Zach said, pulling his t-shirt off over his head.
Chris nodded toward the comfy-looking king size bed that took up most of the room. “To sleep.”
“Um, no?”
“Oh come on! You have a huge bed. I won’t even touch you,” Chris said, climbing on top of the covers.
“I don’t care if you touch me,” Zach said with an exasperated laugh. He stepped over to the side of the bed and grabbed the edge of the blanket. “Get off.”
“Zach, come on!” Chris whined.
Zach rolled his eyes. “I mean move so I can pull the covers down, idiot.”
Chris opened his mouth and then closed it. “Oh.” He slid off the bed, waited for Zach to pull the comforter down, and the climbed hesitantly onto the mattress. He eyed Zach’s skinny jeans skeptically.
“Are you sleeping in those? That cannot possibly be comfortable.”
Zach stared at him defiantly, not breaking eye contact as he reached down to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Chris caught a glimpse of black briefs and wondered for a second if he might be subjected to more, but Zach stopped there, flopping down onto the bed with the jeans still on. Chris let out the breath he’d been holding as Zach reached over to turn out the light.
“You can’t take them off, can you?” he asked, joking.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Maybe they’re too integral to the Zachary Quinto persona to be removed. Maybe they’re like a…second skin,” Chris said, smirking.
“Oh my god,” Zach groaned. “You’re so impressed with yourself right now, aren’t you?”
Chris actually was pretty proud of the reference, and he wriggled into the mattress, giving an exaggerated stretch of his limbs.
“Goodnight, Chris.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Chris kicked his feet a little under the covers and scrunched around until he got comfortable. He watched Zach’s profile in the dim light.
“What?” Zach asked, his eyes still aimed at the ceiling.
“What?”
“I can feel you staring at me.”
“I’m not,” Chris said, still staring.
Zach turned his head to look over, and Chris closed the distance between them to press a warm, dry kiss against Zach’s lips, surprising them both.
Chris pulled back a few inches and caught Zach’s eye.
“What was that for?” Zach asked, swallowing hard.
Chris shrugged and looked away. “Felt like it.”
“Oh.” Zach looked back up at the ceiling and shifted a little on the pillows. “Carry on, then.”
“Wha-“ Chris started, but his body was two steps ahead of him, and he was pushing himself up on an elbow and leaning over Zach to kiss him again. Chris could feel the quirk of Zach’s lips just before they parted, and the first touch of their tongues sent an unexpected flood of arousal straight to his cock. His hand was on Zach’s hip, thumb stroking along the dangerous line between denim and skin, and he felt Zach’s hand come up to tangle in his hair. The kiss felt dark and rich, and Chris luxuriated in it, sliding his tongue against Zach’s, tasting him, breathing him in, overwhelming his senses until waves of heat rushed across his skin.
“Stop,” Zach breathed, turning his head away as he pressed a palm against Chris’s chest. “Oh god, Chris, Jesus, we have to stop,” he said with a helpless laugh. He flung an arm across his eyes, and Chris watched his bare chest heave as he breathed deeply, in through the nose and out through the mouth. “Oh god.”
“What? Why?”
“I can’t…I need to focus. I’m getting all excited and this is…” He dropped his arm to look at Chris. “It was bad enough tonight just knowing you were there. I can’t have this - I can’t be thinking about - shit.”
“Zach, you’ll be fine,” Chris said, his voice soothing. He pressed a kiss to Zach’s chest, then another one, his eyes flashing bright in the darkness as he glanced seductively up at Zach.
“Oh god, I hate you,” Zach groaned. “Chris, you have the shittiest timing on earth, you know that?”
“Sorry,” Chris whispered, his chin still resting on Zach’s sternum.
“Why now? Why?” Zach asked, despair creeping into his voice.
Chris nuzzled into Zach’s chest. “I lied to you, earlier.”
Zach lifted his head from his pillow. “When? Wait, you did have sex with Reese Witherspoon?”
“No,” Chris said, chuckling. “When…I mean, when I said I didn’t look at your…duality...”
Zach laughed.
“I did. I mean, I was. Looking.”
“And?”
“Well, I couldn’t see much. And I, uh. I kind of wanted to see more.” He glanced up to find Zach looking at him, his expression unreadable in the dark. “And holy hell,” Chris continued in a rush, “your scene at the end, I mean, Jesus, what the fuck do you expect, I think you seduced the entire fucking audience! That little smile thing you had going on, I mean, you can’t just do that to people!”
Zach narrowed his eyes and curled his lips into Louis’s seductive smile.
“Yep, that’s the one,” Chris said, lunging up to claim Zach’s mouth with a bruising kiss. “Oh, sorry,” he panted, pulling back after a long second. “I forgot. Focus.”
“Too fucking late for that,” Zach said, rolling Chris onto his back, fingers splayed against his cheek as he took control of the kiss. His cock strained against his briefs, brushing against Chris’s hip as he pressed forward. He inhaled sharply at the sensation and reached down to grab Chris’s hand and bring it to his crotch. “Come on,” he said, his voice a low growl. “Don’t fuck around.”
Chris moaned and scrabbled to get his hand into Zach’s shorts, exhaling audibly as he wrapped his fingers around Zach’s cock. “Fuck, I knew it,” Chris said, stroking tentatively along the impressive length. “You’re huge.”
Zach made an unintelligible sound of appreciation and rolled his hips, pressing into Chris’s tightening fist. They kissed sloppily, Zach sucking at Chris’s bottom lip as he slid his hand down.
“Can I?” he asked, rubbing over the bulge in Chris’s jeans.
“Fuck, yes,” Chris breathed, and Zach had a hand on him in seconds, touching him expertly, even if his palm was damp with sweat.
Zach buried his face in Chris’s shoulder, his mouth open, panting a hot, damp patch onto Chris’s t-shirt as they stroked each other with intent. He could feel Chris arching up, could hear the small sounds in the back of his throat that meant he was trying not to cry out, but Zach gave into it, letting loose his wordless groans as he felt his climax build. Letting Chris’s name fall from his lips as he came with a shudder.
Chris had his eyes squeezed shut, his wrist between his teeth as Zach’s fist blurred over his cock, and Zach bit wetly at his chin and jaw until he went still, his cock pulsing in Zach’s hand for long seconds before he relaxed, sagging bonelessly into the mattress.
Zach’s face was still pressed into his neck, a heavy leg and arm slung across Chris’s body. “Zach. Um. Can you…?”
“No,” Zach said, muffled against his skin. “I’m passing out like this. G’night.”
Chris gave his shoulder a little push. “Come on. Move, just a little, okay?”
Zach groaned and flopped over, and Chris stretched out along his side. “Zach,” he whispered.
“Mm-hmm?”
“You didn’t tell me I was coming out here to feel emotions and shit.”
“Yeah, well,” Zach said, his eyes still closed, “this part wasn’t in the script.” He found Chris’s hand on his stomach, pulled it up over his pounding heart, and gave it a squeeze. “Night, Chris.”
“Night.”
**
Chris stayed in his seat for a minute, chewing on the corner of his program, waiting to leave the theater until the lights were no longer blurring in his eyes. The house manager let him into the back, where he found Zach pulling his bag over his shoulder, ready to leave. Chris stepped close and wrapped his arms around Zach’s shoulders.
“What? Do I look sad again?”
“No, you were grinning like an idiot during the bows. I was the one crying.”
“Emotions?”
“Fuck ‘em.” He scratched lightly at Zach’s back. “Also, you looked really, really sexy in that last scene.”
“Ah.”
“Really sexy.”
“Chris…”
“Hey Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Remember when we, um, made out?”
“You mean…last night?”
“Yeah.” Chris pulled back an inch to look at him. “Why, was there another time?”
Zach laughed and pulled him close again. “No. And yes. I remember. Why do you think I was grinning?”
“You know, I noticed that you didn’t take your pants off in this one.”
“No. And again, that shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, since you’ve read the play.”
“Yeah, I know. I was just hoping there was, like, an added scene or something. I was going to look a little harder this time.”
Zach pulled him close to murmur in his ear. “Why don’t you look a little harder when we get back to my apartment?”
“I’m going to be a little harder when we walk through that lobby if you don’t let go of me,” Chris muttered, reaching down to adjust himself. “Shit.”
“Think unsexy thoughts.”
“Zach, I can’t think unsexy thoughts when you’re in the building, much less, you know…” He nudged Zach’s cheek with his nose and Zach turned to kiss him lightly on the lips.
“Doing that?”
“Yeah. Stop it.”
Zach dropped his arms and moved away, heading for the door. Chris put on his least approachable scowl and stayed close as they stepped outside.
**
Chris checked the clock again and set his book down with a sigh. He couldn’t focus.
On the other side of the country, Zach sped up a few paces, turned a corner, and hailed a cab.
Chris answered his phone on the second ring.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Saw the Times review. Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
“You alright?” He’d started asking that every time Zach called him after Millennium Approaches.
“Drained. Exhausted. You know. The usual.”
Chris chewed on a fingernail. He glanced at the dog-eared copy of Angels in America on the kitchen table, held open by an empty coffee mug to the words he’d just been reading.
PRIOR: Are you…a ghost, Lou?
LOUIS: No. Just spectral. Lost to myself. Sitting all day on cold park benches. Wishing I could be with you.
Dance with me, babe…
Zach’s voice pulled him back. “Chris? You there?”
“I need to come out there again, Zach. I keep thinking about it. My heart is aching.”
Zach was silent for a moment. “Are you talking about the play, or…us?”
“I don’t know.”
“Come back to New York, Chris. Come see me again,” Zach said softly.
Chris felt a flutter of nerves, a familiar rush of anticipation in his stomach. “I will.” His eyes flicked back to the book on the table and he smiled. “Prepare the way.”
Zach grinned and slumped back into his seat as the lights of the city sped past. “The great work begins.”