Jennifer / Premiere / Erosion (3 Ficlets - Coffee Fix 'verse)
Title: Jennifer / Premiere / Erosion
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,900
Description: Some decisions are easier than others. Master Post, complete with a timeline of sorts
Warnings: Angsty angst.
Disclaimer: Not true. CP and ZQ are actually a very happy, childless couple in real life. OH I'M KIDDING, PEOPLE!
A/N: LJ cut text is from the song "Teach Your Children" by Crosby Stills & Nash
Jennifer
Chris pulled the vibrating phone out of his pocket and checked the screen. "It's Jennifer," he told Zach, a question in his voice.
"Really? Answer it."
"Hey Jennifer!"
"M-Mr. Pine, um-" a voice sobbed on the other end of the line.
"Hey Jennifer, what's going on, are you okay?"
"Yeah, um, I'm okay, I just...something happened and I wanted to call you first, and..."
"Where are you?" He heard a long breathy sob before Jennifer responded.
"I'm at Planned Parenthood."
**
"So wait," Joe was saying through a mouthful of burrito. "You pay for this girl to go to college, and she goes and has sex with some dude at a frat party and gets herself knocked up again?"
"Crudely put," said Zach, rolling his eyes, "but yes, basically."
Joe leaned back in his chair and grinned. "Classic."
"How much is tuition at a convent, do you think?" Chris mused.
"And you guys are seriously thinking about adopting the kid?"
"Yeah. Kinda decided, I think."
"And you do remember that you already have one hellion - I mean, child, right?"
In his highchair, Jesse said "bah!" and threw a handful of Cheerios on the floor.
"Yeah. We're aware," said Chris, leaning down to look at the Cheerios scattered over the floor. He shook his head in surrender and sat up to take another bite of his lunch.
"I mean, we've talked about having another kid at some point," Zach said.
"Yeah, but I mean - now? So soon? Was that part of the plan?"
"No."
"No, definitely not."
Joe laughed and shook his head.
"But I mean, look at it," Chris said, leaning forward now, "Jesse's biological sibling. How can we say no? It's like fate or destiny or something. It's like, we were meant to have this kid."
Joe cocked an eyebrow at him. "Chris, I swear you did not say shit like that before you married my brother."
Chris shrugged and reached over to put a hand on Zach's shoulder.
"Anyway," Joe continued, "you know I support you guys one hundred percent in whatever you do."
"Thanks, Joe."
"Yeah, thanks Uncle Joe," Chris said, grinning.
"That's awesome Uncle Joe to you."
**
Chris got home at 9:00 PM and walked into chaos.
"Oh my god," Zach said, opening the front door, "thank god you're home." He had Jesse propped on his hip, red-eyed and sobbing. Chris could hear Gavin crying from his carrier in the kitchen. Chris took Jesse from him and put a hand on his forehead. "I know, he's burning up."
"Do you think we should call the doctor?"
"I called, she called in a prescription, Joe's picking it up and bringing it over. I wasn't sure when you'd get home."
"I know. I got out of there as fast as I could. Thank god it was only 14 hours today."
"Ugh, I'm sorry, baby." Zach pulled Chris in for a quick hug and kissed him on the temple before he went back to check on Gavin, who was screaming even louder than he had been five minutes earlier. "What?" Zach said, as soothingly as he could through his aggravation. "What is it, huh? I fed you, I changed you, I made faces at you, what do you want?" He picked him up and walked around, bouncing the baby in his arms. "Do you have your brother's cold? Huh? Are you gonna barf on me again like you did this morning? Because that wasn't cool." He lifted Gavin to his shoulder, patted him on the back, and Gavin promptly spit up down the back of his t-shirt. "Fuuuu- er...fluffy sugar nuggets, or whatever. CHRIS!"
"What?" Chris could only afford to be slightly amused, as he was busy shoveling snot off of Jesse's face.
"Give Jennifer a call."
"Zach, I don't think we can return them."
"No, I'm serious. I want to make sure she's not having sex. We can't handle another one, I swear."
Premiere
“You could come with me to this premiere…”
“NO, Zach. No cameras.”
Zach sighed into the phone. “Fine. Maybe something after then?”
“What, no parties? It’s okay, Zach. We can do something next week.”
“No. No, I mean, I want to do something with you. I’d rather see you.”
“Okay. After, then.”
“I’ll have the driver pick you up.”
**
Zach paused in the door of the limo, his eyes locked on Chris. He’d dressed up, a suit jacket with his jeans instead of the usual cardigan, and he was resting his elbows on his knees and looking at Zach, his eyes an intense blue that took Zach’s breath away. Zach climbed the rest of the way in, the door shut behind him, and he took a seat across the bench from Chris.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he said.
“Yeah,” Chris agreed.
Because when they looked each other here, their skin tingled with the memory of subtle touches, of desperate kisses and of fighting through layers of clothes as though nothing would be right until skin was touching skin. They could practically smell that sweat-sex smell that had so often lingered when they’d stumbled out of limos too much like this one, laughing and disheveled at the end of a perfect night. And suddenly the air seemed too heavy to breathe and the memories were too loud, and Chris hit the intercom and told the driver to let them out.
**
They walked in silence for a while, sucking the cool night air into their lungs and trying to push the memories out of their minds.
“I’m sorry, Zach,” Chris said, breaking the silence. “I couldn’t…I’m not ready…”
“It’s okay,” Zach said quickly. “I know.”
They found themselves in front of a diner, and Zach was starving, so they went inside. Chris squinted in the brightness and stared at his menu for a long time.
“I’ll have a bowl of chocolate ice cream,” he told the waitress, and when she left Zach raised an eyebrow at him.
“What? I have sophisticated tastes.”
“Clearly.”
When the food came, they focused on that, and didn’t talk for a while, until Zach couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are we getting somewhere, Chris? Are we making progress?”
“You’re certainly chipping away at my defenses, if that’s what you mean,” Chris said with a half-smile.
Zach frowned. “That’s not what I want-“
“No, I know,” Chris said, serious again. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to put this on you. I mean, I’m right here with you. I just thought I’d built up these walls, you know? And it’s scaring me how easily I’m letting them break down.”
“Do you want to stop doing this?”
“No. I don’t. There’s just so much more at stake now. In the limo…I almost forgot the rest of our lives, Zach. I could’ve just…yeah. But, that’s not what we’re trying to do, right? We want to fix this, all of this. It’s a rather daunting prospect.”
“Three dinners isn’t enough?” Zach asked with a smile.
Chris laughed. “That’s the thing. It almost feels like it could be.”
“But what if we’re wrong?”
“Exactly. What if just wanting you to be there isn’t enough to magically make all the crap from before disappear.”
“Things have changed. We’ve changed. And we want to make it work. Right?”
“Right.”
“Chris, did you mean what you just said? About…wanting me to be there?”
“Here’s the thing, Zach,” Chris said, his eyes fixed on the table between them. “The truth is, I’ve never really thought about being with anyone else. Not seriously. I’ve only ever thought about being with you, or not being with you. I’m not sure I could find room in my heart for anyone else.”
Zach reached across the table to place a finger gently under Chris’s chin, tilting him up until Chris was looking him in the eye. “So let me back in.”
Erosion
“Do you think we should request Jesse to be in Mrs. Garvey’s class instead of Mr. Roch’s?”
“What?” Zach looked up from his laptop. “Why?”
Chris sat across from him at the kitchen table, peering at the extensive file for Morningcrest Elementary School. “Because she went to Stanford, and Mr. Roch just went to USC.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Don’t you want him to have a good teacher?”
“I’m sure they’re both good teachers, Chris. It’s first grade. You sound like a snob.”
“I’m going to call and put in the request.”
Zach rolled his eyes. “Why do you even bother asking me? Seriously. Just make the fucking decisions yourself if you’re so hung up about it. Otherwise you’re just going to go behind my back and do what you want anyway.”
Chris put the phone down without dialing and looked at him. “Maybe if you put some thought into my questions, I would give your opinions a little more consideration.”
“Oh shut up, Chris. Don’t act like you think I don’t care when you know I do.”
“Do you? Half the time you’re not even here for me to ask you for your opinion anyway.”
“Yeah, well. As much as I love to come home to your nightly interrogations, I’m also capable of having a life. And before you say anything, I would love to have you there with me, Chris, I really would. And I’m not talking about going out every night or whatever you’re thinking. I’m saying, come with me to something…to JJ’s premiere this weekend, let people know you’re still alive.”
Chris sighed. “I don’t think so, Zach.”
“Are you serious? You seriously won’t do this one thing for me.”
“I was planning to take the boys to the circus on Saturday night.”
“What, really?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re planning to take them there without me,” Zach said, disbelief written across his face.
“I knew you had JJ’s thing.”
“So, there are other times we could go, Chris, Jesus.”
“When?” Chris asked smugly, as he watched Zach scroll through his calendar.
“Like…next Sunday.”
“Jesse has a t-ball game. How come that’s not on your calendar?”
“Probably because you didn’t tell me about it because you assumed I wouldn’t be there.”
“Well, you haven’t been at the last three.”
“Chris.” Zach fisted a hand in his hair. “I’m not doing this on purpose, okay, but you are. What are you doing? Are you trying to take these things away from me, out of…out of spite? What do you want from me?”
“I want you to be here, Zach, not running all over the place posing for pictures-“
“What the fuck? Chris, do you even know me, that’s not what this is about. This is about getting myself out there and doing the work that I want to do. It’s the same thing I’ve always wanted and I’ve always said I was going to do, so don’t act like this is coming as any big surprise to you.”
“Fine. We won’t go to the circus.”
“Will you come to JJ’s thing with me?”
“No, Zach, so stop asking, okay?”
“Chris, do you even like me anymore? You say you want me here but it’s like…we can’t even talk to each other without snapping, we haven’t even had sex in a week, we haven’t had good sex in…in…” Zach gestured in the air and gave up, slumping back in his seat.
“I still love you,” Chris said, his jaw set, stubborn.
Zach looked at him and shook his head. “That’s not the same thing. And I’m not sure it’s enough.”
(Continued)
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,900
Description: Some decisions are easier than others. Master Post, complete with a timeline of sorts
Warnings: Angsty angst.
Disclaimer: Not true. CP and ZQ are actually a very happy, childless couple in real life. OH I'M KIDDING, PEOPLE!
A/N: LJ cut text is from the song "Teach Your Children" by Crosby Stills & Nash
Jennifer
Chris pulled the vibrating phone out of his pocket and checked the screen. "It's Jennifer," he told Zach, a question in his voice.
"Really? Answer it."
"Hey Jennifer!"
"M-Mr. Pine, um-" a voice sobbed on the other end of the line.
"Hey Jennifer, what's going on, are you okay?"
"Yeah, um, I'm okay, I just...something happened and I wanted to call you first, and..."
"Where are you?" He heard a long breathy sob before Jennifer responded.
"I'm at Planned Parenthood."
**
"So wait," Joe was saying through a mouthful of burrito. "You pay for this girl to go to college, and she goes and has sex with some dude at a frat party and gets herself knocked up again?"
"Crudely put," said Zach, rolling his eyes, "but yes, basically."
Joe leaned back in his chair and grinned. "Classic."
"How much is tuition at a convent, do you think?" Chris mused.
"And you guys are seriously thinking about adopting the kid?"
"Yeah. Kinda decided, I think."
"And you do remember that you already have one hellion - I mean, child, right?"
In his highchair, Jesse said "bah!" and threw a handful of Cheerios on the floor.
"Yeah. We're aware," said Chris, leaning down to look at the Cheerios scattered over the floor. He shook his head in surrender and sat up to take another bite of his lunch.
"I mean, we've talked about having another kid at some point," Zach said.
"Yeah, but I mean - now? So soon? Was that part of the plan?"
"No."
"No, definitely not."
Joe laughed and shook his head.
"But I mean, look at it," Chris said, leaning forward now, "Jesse's biological sibling. How can we say no? It's like fate or destiny or something. It's like, we were meant to have this kid."
Joe cocked an eyebrow at him. "Chris, I swear you did not say shit like that before you married my brother."
Chris shrugged and reached over to put a hand on Zach's shoulder.
"Anyway," Joe continued, "you know I support you guys one hundred percent in whatever you do."
"Thanks, Joe."
"Yeah, thanks Uncle Joe," Chris said, grinning.
"That's awesome Uncle Joe to you."
**
Chris got home at 9:00 PM and walked into chaos.
"Oh my god," Zach said, opening the front door, "thank god you're home." He had Jesse propped on his hip, red-eyed and sobbing. Chris could hear Gavin crying from his carrier in the kitchen. Chris took Jesse from him and put a hand on his forehead. "I know, he's burning up."
"Do you think we should call the doctor?"
"I called, she called in a prescription, Joe's picking it up and bringing it over. I wasn't sure when you'd get home."
"I know. I got out of there as fast as I could. Thank god it was only 14 hours today."
"Ugh, I'm sorry, baby." Zach pulled Chris in for a quick hug and kissed him on the temple before he went back to check on Gavin, who was screaming even louder than he had been five minutes earlier. "What?" Zach said, as soothingly as he could through his aggravation. "What is it, huh? I fed you, I changed you, I made faces at you, what do you want?" He picked him up and walked around, bouncing the baby in his arms. "Do you have your brother's cold? Huh? Are you gonna barf on me again like you did this morning? Because that wasn't cool." He lifted Gavin to his shoulder, patted him on the back, and Gavin promptly spit up down the back of his t-shirt. "Fuuuu- er...fluffy sugar nuggets, or whatever. CHRIS!"
"What?" Chris could only afford to be slightly amused, as he was busy shoveling snot off of Jesse's face.
"Give Jennifer a call."
"Zach, I don't think we can return them."
"No, I'm serious. I want to make sure she's not having sex. We can't handle another one, I swear."
Premiere
“You could come with me to this premiere…”
“NO, Zach. No cameras.”
Zach sighed into the phone. “Fine. Maybe something after then?”
“What, no parties? It’s okay, Zach. We can do something next week.”
“No. No, I mean, I want to do something with you. I’d rather see you.”
“Okay. After, then.”
“I’ll have the driver pick you up.”
**
Zach paused in the door of the limo, his eyes locked on Chris. He’d dressed up, a suit jacket with his jeans instead of the usual cardigan, and he was resting his elbows on his knees and looking at Zach, his eyes an intense blue that took Zach’s breath away. Zach climbed the rest of the way in, the door shut behind him, and he took a seat across the bench from Chris.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he said.
“Yeah,” Chris agreed.
Because when they looked each other here, their skin tingled with the memory of subtle touches, of desperate kisses and of fighting through layers of clothes as though nothing would be right until skin was touching skin. They could practically smell that sweat-sex smell that had so often lingered when they’d stumbled out of limos too much like this one, laughing and disheveled at the end of a perfect night. And suddenly the air seemed too heavy to breathe and the memories were too loud, and Chris hit the intercom and told the driver to let them out.
**
They walked in silence for a while, sucking the cool night air into their lungs and trying to push the memories out of their minds.
“I’m sorry, Zach,” Chris said, breaking the silence. “I couldn’t…I’m not ready…”
“It’s okay,” Zach said quickly. “I know.”
They found themselves in front of a diner, and Zach was starving, so they went inside. Chris squinted in the brightness and stared at his menu for a long time.
“I’ll have a bowl of chocolate ice cream,” he told the waitress, and when she left Zach raised an eyebrow at him.
“What? I have sophisticated tastes.”
“Clearly.”
When the food came, they focused on that, and didn’t talk for a while, until Zach couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are we getting somewhere, Chris? Are we making progress?”
“You’re certainly chipping away at my defenses, if that’s what you mean,” Chris said with a half-smile.
Zach frowned. “That’s not what I want-“
“No, I know,” Chris said, serious again. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to put this on you. I mean, I’m right here with you. I just thought I’d built up these walls, you know? And it’s scaring me how easily I’m letting them break down.”
“Do you want to stop doing this?”
“No. I don’t. There’s just so much more at stake now. In the limo…I almost forgot the rest of our lives, Zach. I could’ve just…yeah. But, that’s not what we’re trying to do, right? We want to fix this, all of this. It’s a rather daunting prospect.”
“Three dinners isn’t enough?” Zach asked with a smile.
Chris laughed. “That’s the thing. It almost feels like it could be.”
“But what if we’re wrong?”
“Exactly. What if just wanting you to be there isn’t enough to magically make all the crap from before disappear.”
“Things have changed. We’ve changed. And we want to make it work. Right?”
“Right.”
“Chris, did you mean what you just said? About…wanting me to be there?”
“Here’s the thing, Zach,” Chris said, his eyes fixed on the table between them. “The truth is, I’ve never really thought about being with anyone else. Not seriously. I’ve only ever thought about being with you, or not being with you. I’m not sure I could find room in my heart for anyone else.”
Zach reached across the table to place a finger gently under Chris’s chin, tilting him up until Chris was looking him in the eye. “So let me back in.”
Erosion
“Do you think we should request Jesse to be in Mrs. Garvey’s class instead of Mr. Roch’s?”
“What?” Zach looked up from his laptop. “Why?”
Chris sat across from him at the kitchen table, peering at the extensive file for Morningcrest Elementary School. “Because she went to Stanford, and Mr. Roch just went to USC.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Don’t you want him to have a good teacher?”
“I’m sure they’re both good teachers, Chris. It’s first grade. You sound like a snob.”
“I’m going to call and put in the request.”
Zach rolled his eyes. “Why do you even bother asking me? Seriously. Just make the fucking decisions yourself if you’re so hung up about it. Otherwise you’re just going to go behind my back and do what you want anyway.”
Chris put the phone down without dialing and looked at him. “Maybe if you put some thought into my questions, I would give your opinions a little more consideration.”
“Oh shut up, Chris. Don’t act like you think I don’t care when you know I do.”
“Do you? Half the time you’re not even here for me to ask you for your opinion anyway.”
“Yeah, well. As much as I love to come home to your nightly interrogations, I’m also capable of having a life. And before you say anything, I would love to have you there with me, Chris, I really would. And I’m not talking about going out every night or whatever you’re thinking. I’m saying, come with me to something…to JJ’s premiere this weekend, let people know you’re still alive.”
Chris sighed. “I don’t think so, Zach.”
“Are you serious? You seriously won’t do this one thing for me.”
“I was planning to take the boys to the circus on Saturday night.”
“What, really?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re planning to take them there without me,” Zach said, disbelief written across his face.
“I knew you had JJ’s thing.”
“So, there are other times we could go, Chris, Jesus.”
“When?” Chris asked smugly, as he watched Zach scroll through his calendar.
“Like…next Sunday.”
“Jesse has a t-ball game. How come that’s not on your calendar?”
“Probably because you didn’t tell me about it because you assumed I wouldn’t be there.”
“Well, you haven’t been at the last three.”
“Chris.” Zach fisted a hand in his hair. “I’m not doing this on purpose, okay, but you are. What are you doing? Are you trying to take these things away from me, out of…out of spite? What do you want from me?”
“I want you to be here, Zach, not running all over the place posing for pictures-“
“What the fuck? Chris, do you even know me, that’s not what this is about. This is about getting myself out there and doing the work that I want to do. It’s the same thing I’ve always wanted and I’ve always said I was going to do, so don’t act like this is coming as any big surprise to you.”
“Fine. We won’t go to the circus.”
“Will you come to JJ’s thing with me?”
“No, Zach, so stop asking, okay?”
“Chris, do you even like me anymore? You say you want me here but it’s like…we can’t even talk to each other without snapping, we haven’t even had sex in a week, we haven’t had good sex in…in…” Zach gestured in the air and gave up, slumping back in his seat.
“I still love you,” Chris said, his jaw set, stubborn.
Zach looked at him and shook his head. “That’s not the same thing. And I’m not sure it’s enough.”
(Continued)