Cuter than Zachary Quinto (A Star Trek RPF Fanfic)
Giving in and posting one of the short fics that I wrote yesterday. I know I said I was going to wait. Oh well. Hopefully you enjoy my inability to keep my resolutions :-)
Title: Cuter than Zachary Quinto
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,675
Description: Chris brings home a surprise.
Warning: Domestic fluffy shmoop involving pets. Blatant disregard for anyone’s actual personalities.
Disclaimer: This story is not at all associated with anyone whose name you might read herein.
ETA: 0xfalloutgirlx0 made some awesome art to go with this fic!!!!!!
“Hey Zach, could you give me a hand. I could use some help unloading the car.”
Zach got up from the couch, confused. “I thought you were just going to the pet store to get a bag of food for Noah,” he asked as he followed Chris out the front door.
“I, uh, might have picked up a few other things while I was there.”
Zach had a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach that he’d learned not to ignore when it came to Chris. His boyfriend had a tendency to be a bit…impulsive…and Zach had admittedly felt some hesitation in sending him to the pet store unattended. His suspicions were confirmed when Chris reached into the passenger side of the car and pulled out a pet carrier.
“Chris….”
“Before you say anything…come look.”
Zach peered over Chris’s shoulder as he opened the top of the carrier. A tiny pug sat shaking in the corner, its bulging eyes staring dolefully up at them amidst a face of dark wrinkles.
“Oh my god.”
“Isn’t she adorable?!” Chris exclaimed.
“Chris, you got a dog? I send you out for dog food and you come home with a freaking dog. No pun intended, but I knew I shouldn’t have let you off your leash.”
“You can talk dirty to me later, Zach. Come on. Just look at this little face!”
Chris picked the tiny puppy up out of the carrier, holding her close to his chest. He looked at Zach with eyes that were almost as pleading and sweet as the puppy’s.
Zach ran his hand over the puppy’s soft fur, and up to cup Chris’s cheek. “It is pretty cute.”
**
“But we’ve been talking about getting another dog!”
“I know, but I was thinking we would get another rescue. There are so many dogs out there waiting to be adopted, Chris. I don’t want to support backyard breeders who sell to pet stores.”
“But Zach, I did rescue her! You should have seen the tiny cage she was in! What if she had to stay there for weeks before someone bought her! I had to!”
Zach sighed.
“You want me to take her back?”
“No, of course not.”
Chris beamed. “Her wrinkly little face has already found a place in Zachary Quinto’s heart.” He set the pug gently on Zach’s lap.
“She is pretty cute.”
**
“So, what are we going to name her?”
“I already decided. Her name is Pancake.”
“Um, no. No dog of mine is going to have a ridiculous name like Pancake.”
“Well, she’s my dog then, and I can name her whatever I want to, and I named her Pancake!” Chris said, pouting. “What would you suggest as an ‘appropriate’ name?”
“I don’t know, maybe…Beth?”
“BETH? Zach, she’s a dog, not my best friend from 5th grade. The whole point of getting pets is so that you can give them weird names. Not normal person names like Noah and Harold.”
“Hey. I like those names.”
“Yeah, well, I like Pancake. And so does Pancake. Don’t you, Pancake?”
“Please stop saying Pancake. How the hell did you come up with that name anyway?”
“I once met a dachshund named Waffle. I liked the theme.”
“Yeah, well. I suppose it could have been worse.”
“Yeah, I could have gone with French Toast.”
**
“Oh my god, Chris, please, make it stop.” Zach pulled a pillow over his head to drown out the sound of Pancake’s whimpers emanating from the pet carrier in the corner of the room. “Let her out.”
Chris got out of bed and leaned down to unfasten the carrier door. Pancake followed him across the room and stood up against the bed, her tiny paws only reaching halfway up the mattress. She whimpered again. “Zach. She keeps looking at me. She wants to come up.”
“No. No dogs in the bed. Tell her to go to sleep on her doggie bed like Noah.”
“I tried telling her, Zach. I don’t think she understands English.” Pancake whimpered again and pawed pathetically at the mattress. “Zach, come look. It’s too cute.”
Zach peered over the edge of the bed into Pancake’s mournful face. “Ah, fuck. Fine. She can sleep in the bed tonight. But that’s it, okay? She needs to learn to be a dog.”
Chris grinned as he picked her up and set her down softly on the mattress between them. Pancake pawed lightly at the blanket, walked in three small circles, and curled up with her head on the pillow between them.
“Oh my god, Zach,” Chris whispered with awe in his voice. “What a little sweetie!”
“Yeah,” Zach admitted. “She is pretty cute.”
**
“No, no, no! You are not setting one foot out of the door until you take that ridiculous thing off.”
“Why?! You have, like, an entire drawer dedicated to Noah’s bandanas! Pancake can’t have one outfit?”
“Oh my god, do you hear yourself. An outfit? Your dog is wearing a pink hoodie with rhinestones that spell out ‘Lucky Bitch’.”
Chris smiled indulgently as he knelt down to scratch Pancake behind her ears. “Well, she is a lucky bitch. Aren’t you Pancake? Aren’t you just the luckiest little princess? Who loves Papa?”
Zach rolled his eyes. “I cannot believe this. Chris, you are aware that this is a dog, not a child, right? Wait, scratch that. I’m not even sure pugs can technically be considered dogs. She looks like…like…an alien.”
“Yes she is,” Chris cooed. “Who’s my little baby alien princess? It’s you! Yes you are!” He set the leash down and picked her up, snuggling his face into the soft fur of her neck.
“I can’t watch this,” Zach said, throwing his arms up in the air. “This is just getting ridiculous.”
**
“What do you want?”
“I’m just calling to say hi. I miss you.”
“You called an hour ago. Remember?”
“So? I have to wait more than an hour to miss you?”
“What do you want, Chris?”
“How’s Pancake?”
“I knew it! I swear to god, you miss that damn dog more than you miss me!”
“Did you take her out?”
“Yes.”
“Did you put her outfit on?”
“Hell. No.”
“Zaaaach.”
“She thanked me.”
“Did she go poopie?”
“Are you serious? Yes, she did.”
“Aww, my good girl!”
“Oh yeah, she’s such a good girl,” Zach said sarcastically. “She has bodily functions. You know, I’m getting a lot of insight into how you were raised, here.”
“Did you feed her?”
“Yes.”
“Which one did you give her? Usually I give her Mediterranean Feast on Wednesdays.”
“That’s what I gave her. Although why a fucking dog is eating -“Zach picked up the can from the counter and read from the label “a savory banquet of lamb, brown rice, chick peas, spinach, and Golden Delicious apples is beyond me.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“No.”
“Does she miss me?”
“She hasn’t said.”
“Do you miss me?”
“I miss when you loved me more than a dog.”
“I love you, Zach.”
“Uh huh. Bye, Chris. I’ll talk to you in an hour when you call to ask me whether I’ve been giving her enough belly rubs.”
“Have you?”
“Bye, Chris!”
**
“Hey, if I had one of those front-pack thingies, do you think I could take Pancake to the grocery store with me?”
“No.” ‘No’ had become Zach’s automatic response to anything Chris said with the word ‘Pancake’ in it.
“Why not? Paris Hilton takes her dog shopping with her!”
“Chris, do you hear yourself? There are so many things wrong with that sentence.”
“Fine.” Chris pouted silently for a few minutes as he watched Zach read the paper and eat his chicken salad sandwich.
“Hey Zach.”
“What?”
“Give Pancake a piece of chicken.”
“No.”
“But she liiiikes it! Look at her!”
Without thinking, Zach let his eyes wander to the floor, where Pancake was sitting at his feet, looking up at him with those disturbingly bulgy and yet adorable eyes. Zach shook his head, but he pulled a tiny piece of chicken out of his sandwich and watched as Pancake licked it frantically out his hand.
“See? She likes it!”
“She is pretty cute.”
**
Chris was running his tongue up the inside of Zach’s thigh when they heard a light scratching at the bedroom door. Zach put his hand firmly on Chris’s head and growled “Don’t even think about it.”
Chris took a deep breath and continued, teasing Zach with light touches to his balls and kissing wetly up his length. Zach moaned and shifted his hips to give Chris better access. Chris had almost forgotten about the sounds at the door, until they heard soft whimpers join in with the scratching. Zach cursed violently as Chris pulled away.
“I’m sorry, I just feel so bad!” Chris pleaded.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to feel even worse if you leave me like this, you fucker.”
“Okay, just hold on a sec, let me get her a chew stick to distract her, and then I’ll be right back.”
“Chris! You cannot reward her for that kind of behavior!”
“Yeah, well, I can’t really stay in the mood if I keep thinking about her pathetic little face.”
“Ugh, you are the pathetic one, Chris.”
“Zach, I’m sorry, just hold on a sec…”
“Whatever, Chris. Just go, take care of your dog, and I’ll take care of this-“ he gestured to his now-painful erection-“in the bathroom.”
“Zach...”
“Go.”
**
“Zach.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry about the other night.”
“It’s okay.”
“I love you more than Pancake, I swear.”
“I know.”
“Even though she is pretty cute.”
“Yeah, she is.”
They were lying on the couch watching TV, Chris wrapped around Zach with his head on Zach’s chest, Noah sprawled across their feet, and Pancake snuggled contently with her face in Zach’s crotch. Harold sat on the back of the sofa looking down at them disdainfully.
“I love our family,” Chris whispered.
Zach finally looked away from the TV, at Chris smiling sleepily at him and Pancake scooching a little further into the space between his legs, and he couldn’t help but smile. “So do I, baby. So do I.”
Title: Cuter than Zachary Quinto
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,675
Description: Chris brings home a surprise.
Warning: Domestic fluffy shmoop involving pets. Blatant disregard for anyone’s actual personalities.
Disclaimer: This story is not at all associated with anyone whose name you might read herein.
ETA: 0xfalloutgirlx0 made some awesome art to go with this fic!!!!!!
“Hey Zach, could you give me a hand. I could use some help unloading the car.”
Zach got up from the couch, confused. “I thought you were just going to the pet store to get a bag of food for Noah,” he asked as he followed Chris out the front door.
“I, uh, might have picked up a few other things while I was there.”
Zach had a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach that he’d learned not to ignore when it came to Chris. His boyfriend had a tendency to be a bit…impulsive…and Zach had admittedly felt some hesitation in sending him to the pet store unattended. His suspicions were confirmed when Chris reached into the passenger side of the car and pulled out a pet carrier.
“Chris….”
“Before you say anything…come look.”
Zach peered over Chris’s shoulder as he opened the top of the carrier. A tiny pug sat shaking in the corner, its bulging eyes staring dolefully up at them amidst a face of dark wrinkles.
“Oh my god.”
“Isn’t she adorable?!” Chris exclaimed.
“Chris, you got a dog? I send you out for dog food and you come home with a freaking dog. No pun intended, but I knew I shouldn’t have let you off your leash.”
“You can talk dirty to me later, Zach. Come on. Just look at this little face!”
Chris picked the tiny puppy up out of the carrier, holding her close to his chest. He looked at Zach with eyes that were almost as pleading and sweet as the puppy’s.
Zach ran his hand over the puppy’s soft fur, and up to cup Chris’s cheek. “It is pretty cute.”
**
“But we’ve been talking about getting another dog!”
“I know, but I was thinking we would get another rescue. There are so many dogs out there waiting to be adopted, Chris. I don’t want to support backyard breeders who sell to pet stores.”
“But Zach, I did rescue her! You should have seen the tiny cage she was in! What if she had to stay there for weeks before someone bought her! I had to!”
Zach sighed.
“You want me to take her back?”
“No, of course not.”
Chris beamed. “Her wrinkly little face has already found a place in Zachary Quinto’s heart.” He set the pug gently on Zach’s lap.
“She is pretty cute.”
**
“So, what are we going to name her?”
“I already decided. Her name is Pancake.”
“Um, no. No dog of mine is going to have a ridiculous name like Pancake.”
“Well, she’s my dog then, and I can name her whatever I want to, and I named her Pancake!” Chris said, pouting. “What would you suggest as an ‘appropriate’ name?”
“I don’t know, maybe…Beth?”
“BETH? Zach, she’s a dog, not my best friend from 5th grade. The whole point of getting pets is so that you can give them weird names. Not normal person names like Noah and Harold.”
“Hey. I like those names.”
“Yeah, well, I like Pancake. And so does Pancake. Don’t you, Pancake?”
“Please stop saying Pancake. How the hell did you come up with that name anyway?”
“I once met a dachshund named Waffle. I liked the theme.”
“Yeah, well. I suppose it could have been worse.”
“Yeah, I could have gone with French Toast.”
**
“Oh my god, Chris, please, make it stop.” Zach pulled a pillow over his head to drown out the sound of Pancake’s whimpers emanating from the pet carrier in the corner of the room. “Let her out.”
Chris got out of bed and leaned down to unfasten the carrier door. Pancake followed him across the room and stood up against the bed, her tiny paws only reaching halfway up the mattress. She whimpered again. “Zach. She keeps looking at me. She wants to come up.”
“No. No dogs in the bed. Tell her to go to sleep on her doggie bed like Noah.”
“I tried telling her, Zach. I don’t think she understands English.” Pancake whimpered again and pawed pathetically at the mattress. “Zach, come look. It’s too cute.”
Zach peered over the edge of the bed into Pancake’s mournful face. “Ah, fuck. Fine. She can sleep in the bed tonight. But that’s it, okay? She needs to learn to be a dog.”
Chris grinned as he picked her up and set her down softly on the mattress between them. Pancake pawed lightly at the blanket, walked in three small circles, and curled up with her head on the pillow between them.
“Oh my god, Zach,” Chris whispered with awe in his voice. “What a little sweetie!”
“Yeah,” Zach admitted. “She is pretty cute.”
**
“No, no, no! You are not setting one foot out of the door until you take that ridiculous thing off.”
“Why?! You have, like, an entire drawer dedicated to Noah’s bandanas! Pancake can’t have one outfit?”
“Oh my god, do you hear yourself. An outfit? Your dog is wearing a pink hoodie with rhinestones that spell out ‘Lucky Bitch’.”
Chris smiled indulgently as he knelt down to scratch Pancake behind her ears. “Well, she is a lucky bitch. Aren’t you Pancake? Aren’t you just the luckiest little princess? Who loves Papa?”
Zach rolled his eyes. “I cannot believe this. Chris, you are aware that this is a dog, not a child, right? Wait, scratch that. I’m not even sure pugs can technically be considered dogs. She looks like…like…an alien.”
“Yes she is,” Chris cooed. “Who’s my little baby alien princess? It’s you! Yes you are!” He set the leash down and picked her up, snuggling his face into the soft fur of her neck.
“I can’t watch this,” Zach said, throwing his arms up in the air. “This is just getting ridiculous.”
**
“What do you want?”
“I’m just calling to say hi. I miss you.”
“You called an hour ago. Remember?”
“So? I have to wait more than an hour to miss you?”
“What do you want, Chris?”
“How’s Pancake?”
“I knew it! I swear to god, you miss that damn dog more than you miss me!”
“Did you take her out?”
“Yes.”
“Did you put her outfit on?”
“Hell. No.”
“Zaaaach.”
“She thanked me.”
“Did she go poopie?”
“Are you serious? Yes, she did.”
“Aww, my good girl!”
“Oh yeah, she’s such a good girl,” Zach said sarcastically. “She has bodily functions. You know, I’m getting a lot of insight into how you were raised, here.”
“Did you feed her?”
“Yes.”
“Which one did you give her? Usually I give her Mediterranean Feast on Wednesdays.”
“That’s what I gave her. Although why a fucking dog is eating -“Zach picked up the can from the counter and read from the label “a savory banquet of lamb, brown rice, chick peas, spinach, and Golden Delicious apples is beyond me.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“No.”
“Does she miss me?”
“She hasn’t said.”
“Do you miss me?”
“I miss when you loved me more than a dog.”
“I love you, Zach.”
“Uh huh. Bye, Chris. I’ll talk to you in an hour when you call to ask me whether I’ve been giving her enough belly rubs.”
“Have you?”
“Bye, Chris!”
**
“Hey, if I had one of those front-pack thingies, do you think I could take Pancake to the grocery store with me?”
“No.” ‘No’ had become Zach’s automatic response to anything Chris said with the word ‘Pancake’ in it.
“Why not? Paris Hilton takes her dog shopping with her!”
“Chris, do you hear yourself? There are so many things wrong with that sentence.”
“Fine.” Chris pouted silently for a few minutes as he watched Zach read the paper and eat his chicken salad sandwich.
“Hey Zach.”
“What?”
“Give Pancake a piece of chicken.”
“No.”
“But she liiiikes it! Look at her!”
Without thinking, Zach let his eyes wander to the floor, where Pancake was sitting at his feet, looking up at him with those disturbingly bulgy and yet adorable eyes. Zach shook his head, but he pulled a tiny piece of chicken out of his sandwich and watched as Pancake licked it frantically out his hand.
“See? She likes it!”
“She is pretty cute.”
**
Chris was running his tongue up the inside of Zach’s thigh when they heard a light scratching at the bedroom door. Zach put his hand firmly on Chris’s head and growled “Don’t even think about it.”
Chris took a deep breath and continued, teasing Zach with light touches to his balls and kissing wetly up his length. Zach moaned and shifted his hips to give Chris better access. Chris had almost forgotten about the sounds at the door, until they heard soft whimpers join in with the scratching. Zach cursed violently as Chris pulled away.
“I’m sorry, I just feel so bad!” Chris pleaded.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to feel even worse if you leave me like this, you fucker.”
“Okay, just hold on a sec, let me get her a chew stick to distract her, and then I’ll be right back.”
“Chris! You cannot reward her for that kind of behavior!”
“Yeah, well, I can’t really stay in the mood if I keep thinking about her pathetic little face.”
“Ugh, you are the pathetic one, Chris.”
“Zach, I’m sorry, just hold on a sec…”
“Whatever, Chris. Just go, take care of your dog, and I’ll take care of this-“ he gestured to his now-painful erection-“in the bathroom.”
“Zach...”
“Go.”
**
“Zach.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry about the other night.”
“It’s okay.”
“I love you more than Pancake, I swear.”
“I know.”
“Even though she is pretty cute.”
“Yeah, she is.”
They were lying on the couch watching TV, Chris wrapped around Zach with his head on Zach’s chest, Noah sprawled across their feet, and Pancake snuggled contently with her face in Zach’s crotch. Harold sat on the back of the sofa looking down at them disdainfully.
“I love our family,” Chris whispered.
Zach finally looked away from the TV, at Chris smiling sleepily at him and Pancake scooching a little further into the space between his legs, and he couldn’t help but smile. “So do I, baby. So do I.”