Can't See Straight (A Star Trek RPF Fanfic)
Title: Can’t See Straight
Author: therumjournals
Pairing: Chris/Zach (feat. Karl and Zoe as "The Wingmen")
Rating: R for drinking and language
Word Count: 2,000
Disclaimer: The events described in this story have never, to my knowledge, happened to the people described herein. Also, I don't know them, and all the other things that I am supposed to say here.
Description: Chris and Zach are wasted and trying to find each other.
A/N: This story is based on Lady Gaga’s Just Dance, with a(n un)healthy amount of personal experience thrown in. I got the idea and wrote this entire fic within 3 hours, and I am unreasonably excited about it :-D
Zach was making sweet, sweet love to a glass of red wine at the bar when he caught sight of Zoe out of the corner of his eye.
“Zoe!” he cried exuberantly, swaying towards her.
“Zach, there you are! How are you doing?”
He leaned closer, gripping the edge of the bar to keep his balance. “Have you seen my Pine?” he yelled over the pulsing club music.
“What?”
“Chris, have you seen Chris?”
“I saw him flailing around on the dance floor, totally trashed.” She gave him a look. “You don’t look much better,” she observed.
Zach looked intently at his wineglass and the remaining liquid sloshing around at the bottom. He took Zoe’s hand and wrapped it around the stem. “I want you to have this,” he said seriously, before pushing off the bar and disappearing into the crowd. Zoe rolled her eyes, drained the glass, and followed dutifully after him.
\~~~/
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Chris staggered off the dance floor and smacked into Karl on the edge of the crowd. He gripped Karl by the lapels, desperately trying to hold himself up. “I’m looking for a tall, dark, and handsome man,” he declared. He furrowed his brow and looked intently into the bemused face staring down at him. “Not you.”
“Thank goodness for small mercies,” Karl, muttered, gently detaching his hands.
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Zach was at the bar last time I saw him,” he yelled into Chris’ ear.
“Wooohooo!,” whooped Chris, raising his arms above his head. “Shots!” He did a little jump, fell hard into the wall, and used its unyielding presence to guide him toward the bar in the back. Karl ran a hand over his eyes and thought that shots actually sounded like a pretty damn good idea.
\~~~/
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“I don’t see him anywhere!” Zach said, flushed from his whirlwind tour of the dance floor and sounding a little frantic. “Did he leave? What if he left! I have to go outside and get him!”
“NO, you don’t,” Zoe said, yanking Zach back by the sleeve of his jacket. “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.” She really hoped Karl really was keeping tabs on Chris like he’d promised.
“Come on, let’s go check upstairs.” She started toward the stairs, but was stopped by a sharp tug on her arm, as Zach yelled “Oh my God, I love this song,” and pulled her into the writhing crowd on the dance floor.
“Zach, what are you doing?” Zoe yelled, as Zach pressed up against her and wiggled his hips.
“I’m dancing!”
“This is not dancing, Zach! This is…grinding.”
Zach had his hands on her hips and was attempting to get her to move in sync with him. She was nowhere near drunk enough for this.
“Hey Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you save some of this for Chris, huh?”
Zach’s eyes lit up. “Oh my God, let’s go find Chris!” He grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her off the dance floor.
\~~~/
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Karl groaned when he reached the bar. Chris was grinning at him and gesturing excitedly at what looked like at least a dozen shots lined up on the bar. “Chris, what the fuck is this?” he yelled.
“I got shots!”
“Yeah, I see that. Did you get them for the entire club?”
“I thought you said Zach was here,” Chris said, pouting. “Where’s Zach?” He grabbed a shot of something pink, downed it, and raised the empty shotglass up in the air. “Whoooo!”
Karl rolled his eyes, grabbed a shot and tossed it back, took another look at Chris, who was attempting some sort of headbanging move, and grabbed another one. Where the fuck was Zoe? He wanted to inquire just exactly how much he was getting paid for this babysitting gig.
He turned his attention back to Chris, who was staring intently at the ground, his palms resting on the bar. He looked up at Karl, his eyes glassy and his face covered with a sheen of sweat. “I need to go to the bathroom,” he croaked. Karl grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulled him away from the bar, and pushed him toward the club’s industrial unisex bathroom.
“I’ll wait out here,” he called after him. He turned back and gestured to the bartender. “Can I get a shot of something that’s not pink?”
\~~~/
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Zach stopped so abruptly at the top of the steps that Zoe had to grab the handrail to keep from stumbling backwards. Zach turned toward her, his eyes wide and panicked as he patted at his pockets. “Zoe, where’s my phone? I lost my phone!”
Zoe tried to calm Zach down as she directed them away from the top of the stairs. “Are you sure you brought it with you?”
Zach gave her a look of disbelief. “Of course I brought it in with me. Shit, shit, shit” he said, his voice getting higher as he patted all of his pockets again.
Zoe sighed tolerantly. “Let’s go ask at the coat check, okay? Maybe someone turned it in.”
“And my keys.”
“What?!”
“I think I lost my keys, too. Oh, hi there!”
Zoe turned to see who Zach was talking to. A gaggle of girls was approaching shyly. The boldest one walked right up to Zach with a drink in hand.
“Hey, are you, um, aren’t you Sylar?”
“Oh my God, he’s not Sylar,” Zoe barked, trying to regain Zach’s attention.
Zach spotted the glass of wine the girl was holding and his eyebrows shot up. “Why yes, yes I am.
Did you by any chance bring me that drink?”
“Um, sure,” she said, giggling as he took it out of her hand. He gulped down a few swallows, smacked his lips and said “ahhhh,” then turned toward Zoe with a wink. “Who’s Sylar now, bitch?!”
“You are in so much trouble, Quinto,” Zoe mumbled as she dragged him past the girls. He threw them his most charming drunk smile and chugged the rest the wine as he let Zoe pull him toward the coat check.
\~~~/
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Karl spotted Zoe and Zach moving toward the entrance, glanced quickly toward the bathroom, and decided he could probably make it over there and back before Chris was done…whatever it was he was doing in there.
“Hey guys,” he said as he came up to them.
“Hey, Karl, heyyyyyyyyy,” drawled Zach. “Where’s Chris, have you seen Chris? Have you seen my phone?”
“How’s he doing?” he asked Zoe.
“Oh very entertaining,” she answered, rolling his eyes. “Where’s our little playboy?”
“In the bathroom. He’s been trying to find Zach for the last 30 minutes.”
“Yeah, Zach’s been dragging me all over this club looking for Chris. If all goes well, maybe they’ll manage to find each other before they pass out.”
“Yeah, speaking of which, I’d better go check on Pine. Make sure he hasn’t fallen head first into a toilet or something.”
“Good luck with that.”
Karl looked over at the coat check. Zach was leaning in the window, talking intently to the attendant. They could hear him saying “It’s, like, a phoooone. Hello, it’s very important. It has keys on it. I mean, next to it.”
“And good luck with that,” Karl told Zoe. Zoe wasn’t sure she was too fond of the pitying look in his eyes.
\~~~/
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“Oh fuck.”
Karl was standing in the middle of the bathroom with his hands in his hair. He’d checked under all the stalls without identifying either Chris’s feet or his slumped over body. He’d yelled “Christopher” a few times, until a kid with a faux-hawk and faux-wrinkled shirt had wandered over and told him that he “could be Christopher” if Karl wanted him to be. Fuck. Zoe was going to kill him.
\~~~/
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“I’m FINE,” Chris was insisting to the beefy security guard who had a hold on his upper arm. Heedless of the fact that Beefy’s grip was the only thing actually holding him upright, he continued to protest. “Dude, I’m not even inebricated.”
“How much have you had to drink?”
“I had, like, two beers.” The security guard gave him a very skeptical look. “Two very full beers,” he amended.
The guy had pulled him over to an alcove by the emergency exit, where another bouncer stood with his arms crossed. The guy was huge, angry looking, and totally bald. “Whoa, dude, you are TOTALLY BALD,” Chris observed.
“Hey.” The security guard shook his arm. “You need to stand here, for fifteen minutes, until you sober up. Tiny here’s gonna keep an eye on you. He’ll tell you when you can go back in.”
“Nooooooo,” Chris whined. He straightened up a little. “Do you even know who I am?” he asked.
“Yeah, I know who you are. And I know who your friends are. And if you don’t stand here for fifteen minutes, I’m going to escort you all out of this club, do you hear me?”
“Fine,” Chris said, sticking out his lower lip. He leaned against the wall, glared at Tiny, and promptly passed out.
\~~~/
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“You WHAT?”
Yep. Zoe was going to kill him.
“I can’t find Chris.”
“Chris! Where’s Chris?!” Zach had an arm around each of them and was grinning again. Probably something to do with the fact that he’d found both his keys and his phone in the pocket of his suit jacket, which he was wearing.
“Oh, will you fucking pass out, already?” Karl snarled at him. He turned back to Zoe. “We have got to get out of here.”
“Yeah, I know, unfortunately we’re missing something rather important, namely Chris Fucking Pine!”
“Alright, look, maybe I should take a spin around upstairs, he could have wandered up there.”
“No way, we’re not separating again. Come on, let’s check by the bar first.”
\~~~/
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“Okay, buddy.” The bouncer shook Chris roughly by his shoulder. “It’s been fifteen minutes, go find your friends and tell them to take you home.”
“Huh? Oh, okay,” Chris said groggily. “Where’s Zach?”
“How the fuck would I know?”
“I gotta find Zach.”
“That’s nice. Just get the fuck out of here, I’m done babysitting your ass.”
Chris made a face at him and stumbled back toward the dance floor.
\~~~/
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“Chris!!” Zach pulled away from Karl and Zoe and started lurching toward the emergency exit. Zoe felt a momentary panic, which immediately turned to relief as she saw Chris walking towards them.
“Fucking finally,” she murmured.
“Told you we’d find him!” said Karl cheerfully as Zoe glared at him.
They watched as Zach and Chris finally reached each other and stumbled together, laughing. Chris wrapped his arms around Zach and slumped against him, as Zach held him up. Zoe and Karl watched as Chris looked up and Zach tilted his face toward Chris, and then they were kissing sloppily, hands fisted in each others’ shirts.
\~~~/
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“I believe the term is ‘sucking face’,” mused Karl.
Zoe stared across the club as Chris and Zach tried to consume each others’ tongues. “I can’t look away,” she murmured.
“Why do you suppose Chris’s shirt’s turned inside-out?”
“I’m sure I don’t want to know.”
They winced as they watch Chris’s hands slide down to clutch at Zach’s ass.
“Do you think they have any idea what they’re doing?”
Zoe sighed and shook her head. “I have no clue. I just hope that tomorrow morning they both remember this….or neither of them do.”
Karl nodded. “Let’s make sure we’re far, far away when they wake up, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So, when do you think we should interrupt the little lovefest?”
Zoe looked at him with a sly smile. “Oh, I think we can let them go at it for a little while longer. Wanna get a drink?”
“Woman, I have never heard a better idea in my life.” Karl draped his arm around Zoe and they headed for the bar.
\end/
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Click to find out if they regret it in the morning...
Author: therumjournals
Pairing: Chris/Zach (feat. Karl and Zoe as "The Wingmen")
Rating: R for drinking and language
Word Count: 2,000
Disclaimer: The events described in this story have never, to my knowledge, happened to the people described herein. Also, I don't know them, and all the other things that I am supposed to say here.
Description: Chris and Zach are wasted and trying to find each other.
A/N: This story is based on Lady Gaga’s Just Dance, with a(n un)healthy amount of personal experience thrown in. I got the idea and wrote this entire fic within 3 hours, and I am unreasonably excited about it :-D
Zach was making sweet, sweet love to a glass of red wine at the bar when he caught sight of Zoe out of the corner of his eye.
“Zoe!” he cried exuberantly, swaying towards her.
“Zach, there you are! How are you doing?”
He leaned closer, gripping the edge of the bar to keep his balance. “Have you seen my Pine?” he yelled over the pulsing club music.
“What?”
“Chris, have you seen Chris?”
“I saw him flailing around on the dance floor, totally trashed.” She gave him a look. “You don’t look much better,” she observed.
Zach looked intently at his wineglass and the remaining liquid sloshing around at the bottom. He took Zoe’s hand and wrapped it around the stem. “I want you to have this,” he said seriously, before pushing off the bar and disappearing into the crowd. Zoe rolled her eyes, drained the glass, and followed dutifully after him.
\~~~/
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Chris staggered off the dance floor and smacked into Karl on the edge of the crowd. He gripped Karl by the lapels, desperately trying to hold himself up. “I’m looking for a tall, dark, and handsome man,” he declared. He furrowed his brow and looked intently into the bemused face staring down at him. “Not you.”
“Thank goodness for small mercies,” Karl, muttered, gently detaching his hands.
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Zach was at the bar last time I saw him,” he yelled into Chris’ ear.
“Wooohooo!,” whooped Chris, raising his arms above his head. “Shots!” He did a little jump, fell hard into the wall, and used its unyielding presence to guide him toward the bar in the back. Karl ran a hand over his eyes and thought that shots actually sounded like a pretty damn good idea.
\~~~/
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__|__
“I don’t see him anywhere!” Zach said, flushed from his whirlwind tour of the dance floor and sounding a little frantic. “Did he leave? What if he left! I have to go outside and get him!”
“NO, you don’t,” Zoe said, yanking Zach back by the sleeve of his jacket. “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.” She really hoped Karl really was keeping tabs on Chris like he’d promised.
“Come on, let’s go check upstairs.” She started toward the stairs, but was stopped by a sharp tug on her arm, as Zach yelled “Oh my God, I love this song,” and pulled her into the writhing crowd on the dance floor.
“Zach, what are you doing?” Zoe yelled, as Zach pressed up against her and wiggled his hips.
“I’m dancing!”
“This is not dancing, Zach! This is…grinding.”
Zach had his hands on her hips and was attempting to get her to move in sync with him. She was nowhere near drunk enough for this.
“Hey Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you save some of this for Chris, huh?”
Zach’s eyes lit up. “Oh my God, let’s go find Chris!” He grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her off the dance floor.
\~~~/
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Karl groaned when he reached the bar. Chris was grinning at him and gesturing excitedly at what looked like at least a dozen shots lined up on the bar. “Chris, what the fuck is this?” he yelled.
“I got shots!”
“Yeah, I see that. Did you get them for the entire club?”
“I thought you said Zach was here,” Chris said, pouting. “Where’s Zach?” He grabbed a shot of something pink, downed it, and raised the empty shotglass up in the air. “Whoooo!”
Karl rolled his eyes, grabbed a shot and tossed it back, took another look at Chris, who was attempting some sort of headbanging move, and grabbed another one. Where the fuck was Zoe? He wanted to inquire just exactly how much he was getting paid for this babysitting gig.
He turned his attention back to Chris, who was staring intently at the ground, his palms resting on the bar. He looked up at Karl, his eyes glassy and his face covered with a sheen of sweat. “I need to go to the bathroom,” he croaked. Karl grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulled him away from the bar, and pushed him toward the club’s industrial unisex bathroom.
“I’ll wait out here,” he called after him. He turned back and gestured to the bartender. “Can I get a shot of something that’s not pink?”
\~~~/
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Zach stopped so abruptly at the top of the steps that Zoe had to grab the handrail to keep from stumbling backwards. Zach turned toward her, his eyes wide and panicked as he patted at his pockets. “Zoe, where’s my phone? I lost my phone!”
Zoe tried to calm Zach down as she directed them away from the top of the stairs. “Are you sure you brought it with you?”
Zach gave her a look of disbelief. “Of course I brought it in with me. Shit, shit, shit” he said, his voice getting higher as he patted all of his pockets again.
Zoe sighed tolerantly. “Let’s go ask at the coat check, okay? Maybe someone turned it in.”
“And my keys.”
“What?!”
“I think I lost my keys, too. Oh, hi there!”
Zoe turned to see who Zach was talking to. A gaggle of girls was approaching shyly. The boldest one walked right up to Zach with a drink in hand.
“Hey, are you, um, aren’t you Sylar?”
“Oh my God, he’s not Sylar,” Zoe barked, trying to regain Zach’s attention.
Zach spotted the glass of wine the girl was holding and his eyebrows shot up. “Why yes, yes I am.
Did you by any chance bring me that drink?”
“Um, sure,” she said, giggling as he took it out of her hand. He gulped down a few swallows, smacked his lips and said “ahhhh,” then turned toward Zoe with a wink. “Who’s Sylar now, bitch?!”
“You are in so much trouble, Quinto,” Zoe mumbled as she dragged him past the girls. He threw them his most charming drunk smile and chugged the rest the wine as he let Zoe pull him toward the coat check.
\~~~/
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Karl spotted Zoe and Zach moving toward the entrance, glanced quickly toward the bathroom, and decided he could probably make it over there and back before Chris was done…whatever it was he was doing in there.
“Hey guys,” he said as he came up to them.
“Hey, Karl, heyyyyyyyyy,” drawled Zach. “Where’s Chris, have you seen Chris? Have you seen my phone?”
“How’s he doing?” he asked Zoe.
“Oh very entertaining,” she answered, rolling his eyes. “Where’s our little playboy?”
“In the bathroom. He’s been trying to find Zach for the last 30 minutes.”
“Yeah, Zach’s been dragging me all over this club looking for Chris. If all goes well, maybe they’ll manage to find each other before they pass out.”
“Yeah, speaking of which, I’d better go check on Pine. Make sure he hasn’t fallen head first into a toilet or something.”
“Good luck with that.”
Karl looked over at the coat check. Zach was leaning in the window, talking intently to the attendant. They could hear him saying “It’s, like, a phoooone. Hello, it’s very important. It has keys on it. I mean, next to it.”
“And good luck with that,” Karl told Zoe. Zoe wasn’t sure she was too fond of the pitying look in his eyes.
\~~~/
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“Oh fuck.”
Karl was standing in the middle of the bathroom with his hands in his hair. He’d checked under all the stalls without identifying either Chris’s feet or his slumped over body. He’d yelled “Christopher” a few times, until a kid with a faux-hawk and faux-wrinkled shirt had wandered over and told him that he “could be Christopher” if Karl wanted him to be. Fuck. Zoe was going to kill him.
\~~~/
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“I’m FINE,” Chris was insisting to the beefy security guard who had a hold on his upper arm. Heedless of the fact that Beefy’s grip was the only thing actually holding him upright, he continued to protest. “Dude, I’m not even inebricated.”
“How much have you had to drink?”
“I had, like, two beers.” The security guard gave him a very skeptical look. “Two very full beers,” he amended.
The guy had pulled him over to an alcove by the emergency exit, where another bouncer stood with his arms crossed. The guy was huge, angry looking, and totally bald. “Whoa, dude, you are TOTALLY BALD,” Chris observed.
“Hey.” The security guard shook his arm. “You need to stand here, for fifteen minutes, until you sober up. Tiny here’s gonna keep an eye on you. He’ll tell you when you can go back in.”
“Nooooooo,” Chris whined. He straightened up a little. “Do you even know who I am?” he asked.
“Yeah, I know who you are. And I know who your friends are. And if you don’t stand here for fifteen minutes, I’m going to escort you all out of this club, do you hear me?”
“Fine,” Chris said, sticking out his lower lip. He leaned against the wall, glared at Tiny, and promptly passed out.
\~~~/
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“You WHAT?”
Yep. Zoe was going to kill him.
“I can’t find Chris.”
“Chris! Where’s Chris?!” Zach had an arm around each of them and was grinning again. Probably something to do with the fact that he’d found both his keys and his phone in the pocket of his suit jacket, which he was wearing.
“Oh, will you fucking pass out, already?” Karl snarled at him. He turned back to Zoe. “We have got to get out of here.”
“Yeah, I know, unfortunately we’re missing something rather important, namely Chris Fucking Pine!”
“Alright, look, maybe I should take a spin around upstairs, he could have wandered up there.”
“No way, we’re not separating again. Come on, let’s check by the bar first.”
\~~~/
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“Okay, buddy.” The bouncer shook Chris roughly by his shoulder. “It’s been fifteen minutes, go find your friends and tell them to take you home.”
“Huh? Oh, okay,” Chris said groggily. “Where’s Zach?”
“How the fuck would I know?”
“I gotta find Zach.”
“That’s nice. Just get the fuck out of here, I’m done babysitting your ass.”
Chris made a face at him and stumbled back toward the dance floor.
\~~~/
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“Chris!!” Zach pulled away from Karl and Zoe and started lurching toward the emergency exit. Zoe felt a momentary panic, which immediately turned to relief as she saw Chris walking towards them.
“Fucking finally,” she murmured.
“Told you we’d find him!” said Karl cheerfully as Zoe glared at him.
They watched as Zach and Chris finally reached each other and stumbled together, laughing. Chris wrapped his arms around Zach and slumped against him, as Zach held him up. Zoe and Karl watched as Chris looked up and Zach tilted his face toward Chris, and then they were kissing sloppily, hands fisted in each others’ shirts.
\~~~/
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__|__
“I believe the term is ‘sucking face’,” mused Karl.
Zoe stared across the club as Chris and Zach tried to consume each others’ tongues. “I can’t look away,” she murmured.
“Why do you suppose Chris’s shirt’s turned inside-out?”
“I’m sure I don’t want to know.”
They winced as they watch Chris’s hands slide down to clutch at Zach’s ass.
“Do you think they have any idea what they’re doing?”
Zoe sighed and shook her head. “I have no clue. I just hope that tomorrow morning they both remember this….or neither of them do.”
Karl nodded. “Let’s make sure we’re far, far away when they wake up, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So, when do you think we should interrupt the little lovefest?”
Zoe looked at him with a sly smile. “Oh, I think we can let them go at it for a little while longer. Wanna get a drink?”
“Woman, I have never heard a better idea in my life.” Karl draped his arm around Zoe and they headed for the bar.
\end/
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Click to find out if they regret it in the morning...