Casefic is ridiculously hard to get right - I have so much respect for stories like this, where the narrative just flows and is engaging the entire way through. And then you up the bar by weaving flashbacks in and never hitting a wrong note!
This was a *very* enjoyable read - awesome job!
I do have to point out one thing that took me out of the story (and it *really* isn't your fault that I spend waaaay too much time analyzing Nathan Ford) - you successfully made your point about Nate trying to push Eliot away for his own good.
The line where he dismisses Eliot's question about Nelson by saying "I'm not in the man's head", however, should have had the *entire* team calling bullshit. That's his job - that's how he keeps them two steps ahead - by getting in the mark's head. I bought the rest of it completely - it's just in this one place you went "one step too far" (callback intentional).
Thank you so much for the reading and leaving feedback on this - I really appreciate it! I'm really glad you liked the story and the narrative - getting the flashbacks 'right' was one of the things I really tried to get right so I'm glad you feel like it worked.
Ah, I totally see your point about that - I miss things like that sometimes when I really should notice them - Nate does totally get inside the mark's head; I guess it's just one of those niggles that'll have to stay and annoy me now! Thanks for pointing it out, though - it'll be something I look out for in the future :)
Great fic. I thought the flashbacks were worked in well, and really enjoyed the restaurant scene, that the bad guy didn't just give up (because we know some of these guys can still get to people from prison).
Thank you! It was so nice to check my inbox this morning and find this comment :) I'm really glad you liked the fic and thought the flashbacks worked well. Thanks for taking the time to read and to comment!
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This was a *very* enjoyable read - awesome job!
I do have to point out one thing that took me out of the story (and it *really* isn't your fault that I spend waaaay too much time analyzing Nathan Ford) - you successfully made your point about Nate trying to push Eliot away for his own good.
The line where he dismisses Eliot's question about Nelson by saying "I'm not in the man's head", however, should have had the *entire* team calling bullshit. That's his job - that's how he keeps them two steps ahead - by getting in the mark's head. I bought the rest of it completely - it's just in this one place you went "one step too far" (callback intentional).
Overall, though, great work!
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Ah, I totally see your point about that - I miss things like that sometimes when I really should notice them - Nate does totally get inside the mark's head; I guess it's just one of those niggles that'll have to stay and annoy me now! Thanks for pointing it out, though - it'll be something I look out for in the future :)
Thank you :)
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