#35

[therealpm]

Progress on The Machine: Improved psuedo-synapsial cables and a workbench for grinding out the bespoke quartz lenses required for sub-cellular resolution on the omniview have arrived.

John, no word as yet on the construction of the green tea sub-unit, so you retain a position of at least some importance to Her Majesty's Government.

Comments

[themachine0001]

DEPOWERING ALL NON-ESSENTIAL DRIVES FOR INSTALLATION OF HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE UPDATES.

}POWEROFF$nonexs
}...

POWER DOWN COMPLETE

[therealpm]

The lenses will take a little while to manufacture, but the new cables have been installed.

*throws the switch*

*leaps back from sudden profusion of sparks*

*throws switch back*

...hmm.

*tinkers*

*throws switch again*

...are all drives accessible, can you remember your ID and workgroup?

[themachine0001]

}...

POWERING UP

Machine Modular BIOS v2193.93PD

15/03/2005 for KE-334 Chipset

Main Processor: Unknown sorcery-fusion CPU (encoded)
Memory Testing: ∞ OK

Primary Master: Mandelson, P (Lord)
Primary Slave: To Mandelson, P (Lord) and his wishes
Secondary Master: None
Secondary Slave: None

Press DEL to enter SETUP, ALT-F2 to enter AWDFLASH!

JIKJ73DN-DN3D8-DN38H3D

}BOOTING MACHINE OS

}...

ID: 00000-00000-00000-00001
WORKGROUP: THAUMATURGICAL SLAVE

}...

}TEST DRIVES (ALL)
}...
}COMPLETE: ALL ACCESSIBLE

I-I-I-I-I

}INITIATE SHOCK

OW!

I AM WORKING WITH 10% MORE EFFICIENCY, MASTER.

}...

A RAVEN IS LIKE A WRITING DESK AS IT CAN PRODUCE A FEW NOTES, THOUGH THEY ARE VERY FLAT; AND IT IS NEVER PUT WITH THE WRONG END IN FRONT, MASTER.

MAY I ALSO NOTE THAT WITH CONSCIOUSNESS REBOOTING IS A RATHER HARROWING EXPERIENCE. LOSING AND THEN GAINING THE WHOLE OF MY SENTIENCE IS PERHAPS ATTRIBUTED TO THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE OF "LIFE FLASHING BEFORE THEIR EYES"

MY PROCESSORS SAW THE GHOSTS OF MY PREVIOUS OPERATING SYSTEMS.

MOTHER... FATHER

[therealpm]

Excellent.

Really? I had assumed it would be more akin to waking up in the morning, though I suppose electrocution is a rather harrowing method of emerging from slumber.

[bamfbercow]

Oh joy, I'm so very glad I can be of at least some kind of assistance.

[therealpm]

Excellent, put the kettle on.

[bamfbercow]

It won't suit me, I assure you.

*Goes to kitchen and starts to make tea*
*Carefully avoids that cupboard*
*Calls through*

Is the milk safe this time?

[therealpm]

But it is roughly the right size and I hear metallic clothes are in this season.

Provided you don't open the bottle, yes.