SIDEBURNS ARE SYNONYMOUS WITH LOVE.
I recently pointed out that I really, really like Ianto's hair in seasons 1 and 2--particularly his sideburns--and that their tragic demise pre-CoE may have contributed to my distaste for the series. (IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE SIDEBURNS. REALLY.)
SO I HAVE DECIDED TO DO A MASSIVE CELEBRATION OF IANTO'S SIDEBURNS IN SEASON ONE AND TWO.
GET READY TO GET STYLIN'.
Everything Changes:
So, because the sideburns are connected to Ianto, they, like the rest of him, do not get much screen time in season one.
BUT WHAT WE DO GET IS BEAUTEOUS.
Gwen doesn't really get to see the sideburns when she firsts gets into the Tourist Office. I guess that explains why she's a little uneasy when she first gets into the Hub. Definitely the lack of sideburns. Yep. Not the sketchy beyond belief elevator. SIDEBURNS.
FIRST APPEARANCE!
...and that seems to be it for Everything Changes. OH WELL.
They get more appropriate screen time in Day One (1.0: Alien Sex Gas, not to be confused with Day One 2.0: Bombs and Government and Kids and Shit):
Sideburns + bib = WIN.
Ghost Machine:
They're kind of blurry here...
I believe estate agents pronounce it Splow SIDEBURNS.
Cyberwoman (LOL SIDEBURNWOMAN?):
(OKAY I PROMISE TO STOP THE HIDEOUS SIDEBURN PUNS NOW)
(JK I TOTALLY LIED.)
Could I get a tub of sex sideburns coleslaw with that?
Nothing else happens in that episode, right? It's just like, Ianto makes a phone call and shows of his sideburns cyber girl to a random Japanese doctor. Right?
LOLOLOL.
Small Worlds:
(UNRELATED-TO-SIDEBURNS NOTE: I ALWAYS FORGET THIS EPISODE EXISTS.)
Countrycide(burns):
THE SIDEBURNS GET A LOT OF SCREEN TIME IN THIS EPISODE. IT'S KIND OF GREAT. I bet they were nervous after such a close encounter with a shaving device like that meat cleaver. IRREPARABLE DAMAGE COULD HAVE BEEN DONE TO THEM. Luckily, they escaped unscathed.
Ohh yeah.
DON'T BE ASHAMED OF ADMIRING THE SIDEBURNS, GWEN. THEY'RE GREAT.
BE CAREFUL THAT YOU DON'T FALL INTO THAT THERE FRIDGE, IANTO. YOUR SIDEBURNS WOULD BE CHILLY. AND COVERED IN HUMAN VISCERA. YUM.
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU MY POOR FRIEND!
NOOO NOT THE SIDEBURNS--
Greeks Bearing Gifts:
Y SO EMO, IANTO? YOU HAVE AWESOME SIDEBURNS.
WEIRD ANGLE.
They Keep Killing Suzie:
This is also a sideburn-heavy episode. I think it's also my favorite season 1 episode. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.
Random Shoes:
Sadly, the sideburns don't make any significant appearances in this episode. Only that horrible, horrible striped shirt Jack wears.
SERIOUSLY WTF IS THIS SHIT
THEY OFFEND THE SENSIBILITIES OF IANTO'S SIDEBURNS
MOVING ON.
Out of Time:
Combat:
THIS SUIT GOES REALLY WELL WITH THE SIDEBURNS. JUST SAYIN.
Captain Jack Harkness:
ALERT. SIDEBURNS!
End of Days:
WE GET A LEGIT PANORAMIC VIEW OF IANTO'S SIDEBURNS IN THIS EP. IT'S AWESOME.
BEAUTEOUS.
AND THUS CONCLUDES SEASON ONE OF SIDEBURNERY.
SEASON TWO PICSPAM TO FOLLOW. (AKA I SEE YOUR SIDEBURNS AND I RAISE YOU ONE AWESOME PORCUPINE TUFT THING.)
SO I HAVE DECIDED TO DO A MASSIVE CELEBRATION OF IANTO'S SIDEBURNS IN SEASON ONE AND TWO.
GET READY TO GET STYLIN'.
Everything Changes:
So, because the sideburns are connected to Ianto, they, like the rest of him, do not get much screen time in season one.
BUT WHAT WE DO GET IS BEAUTEOUS.
Gwen doesn't really get to see the sideburns when she firsts gets into the Tourist Office. I guess that explains why she's a little uneasy when she first gets into the Hub. Definitely the lack of sideburns. Yep. Not the sketchy beyond belief elevator. SIDEBURNS.
FIRST APPEARANCE!
...and that seems to be it for Everything Changes. OH WELL.
They get more appropriate screen time in Day One (1.0: Alien Sex Gas, not to be confused with Day One 2.0: Bombs and Government and Kids and Shit):
Sideburns + bib = WIN.
Ghost Machine:
They're kind of blurry here...
I believe estate agents pronounce it Splow SIDEBURNS.
Cyberwoman (LOL SIDEBURNWOMAN?):
(OKAY I PROMISE TO STOP THE HIDEOUS SIDEBURN PUNS NOW)
(JK I TOTALLY LIED.)
Could I get a tub of sex sideburns coleslaw with that?
Nothing else happens in that episode, right? It's just like, Ianto makes a phone call and shows of his sideburns cyber girl to a random Japanese doctor. Right?
LOLOLOL.
Small Worlds:
(UNRELATED-TO-SIDEBURNS NOTE: I ALWAYS FORGET THIS EPISODE EXISTS.)
Countrycide(burns):
THE SIDEBURNS GET A LOT OF SCREEN TIME IN THIS EPISODE. IT'S KIND OF GREAT. I bet they were nervous after such a close encounter with a shaving device like that meat cleaver. IRREPARABLE DAMAGE COULD HAVE BEEN DONE TO THEM. Luckily, they escaped unscathed.
Ohh yeah.
DON'T BE ASHAMED OF ADMIRING THE SIDEBURNS, GWEN. THEY'RE GREAT.
BE CAREFUL THAT YOU DON'T FALL INTO THAT THERE FRIDGE, IANTO. YOUR SIDEBURNS WOULD BE CHILLY. AND COVERED IN HUMAN VISCERA. YUM.
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU MY POOR FRIEND!
NOOO NOT THE SIDEBURNS--
Greeks Bearing Gifts:
Y SO EMO, IANTO? YOU HAVE AWESOME SIDEBURNS.
WEIRD ANGLE.
They Keep Killing Suzie:
This is also a sideburn-heavy episode. I think it's also my favorite season 1 episode. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.
Random Shoes:
Sadly, the sideburns don't make any significant appearances in this episode. Only that horrible, horrible striped shirt Jack wears.
SERIOUSLY WTF IS THIS SHIT
THEY OFFEND THE SENSIBILITIES OF IANTO'S SIDEBURNS
MOVING ON.
Out of Time:
Combat:
THIS SUIT GOES REALLY WELL WITH THE SIDEBURNS. JUST SAYIN.
Captain Jack Harkness:
ALERT. SIDEBURNS!
End of Days:
WE GET A LEGIT PANORAMIC VIEW OF IANTO'S SIDEBURNS IN THIS EP. IT'S AWESOME.
BEAUTEOUS.
AND THUS CONCLUDES SEASON ONE OF SIDEBURNERY.
SEASON TWO PICSPAM TO FOLLOW. (AKA I SEE YOUR SIDEBURNS AND I RAISE YOU ONE AWESOME PORCUPINE TUFT THING.)