To live is to be evil
Mother's in hospital. Injured spine/tailbone. Brother got sent to OCS. There's nobody left at home but Dad and you know men. He's keeping watch on her but knowing that ridiculous woman that she is, she will not rest well at all. I think I should threaten to fly home.
Title: Live
Rating: PG-13 for implications and character death.
Characters: Almost everyone related to Sawada Tsunayoshi, TYL version.
Summary: A series of interconnected drabbles or character introspectives if you like. Reactions to Tsuna's apparent death.
1. Sawada Iemitsu and Nana
Away in Rome when it happened (a real honeymoon like their son suggested), they were the last to know but it didn't make the grief any less. Ieamitsu knew it was just like Tsuna to do this, completely unnecessary yet thoughtful till his very end. To hold off the pain for as long as humanly possible for the innocent. It was then, as he held the innocent in his arms, feeling Nana convulse against him that Iemitsu wondered how they managed to outlive their son. He couldn't help question the wisdom of his decision 10 years ago.
Who cares about the Vongola famiglia if his own family is in shreds?
2. Fuuta
Fuuta's ranking system had long been computerized by Gianini. Convenience, they said. Sure, it was easier this way but sometimes Fuuta thought there was nothing like the feel of traditional ink on paper. So on the day Vongola the Tenth dies, Fuuta cracks open the ancient tome and on the last page, he prints in his immaculate hand. Nobody sees his hand shake.
Will be missed the most:
#1 Tsuna-nii
Then Fuuta burns the record because a man that defies all predictions deserved more than just being immortalized in numbers.
3. Dino Cavallone
He wasn't a religious man. If he had a God, it would be his family. Dino Cavallone was all about family and Vongola the Tenth had long been christened into his. He knew Tsuna had died in his line of duty and that if given a choice, he would have done the same. He saw so much of himself in the brunette. The same innocence, the same fear and most of all the same resolve. Dino was no hero in shining armor, he was selfish and weak. But he wasn't greedy, he only wanted enough power to protect the ones close to heart and Tsuna was the same. They were so hopelessly alike that it felt like losing a part of himself.
The day after the funeral, Dino went to church, the first time in a long while. Standing before the altar, the Cavallone heir refused to kneel or bow his head. Instead he lifted his face to the cross, the stained glass' rainbow light dancing on his golden hair.
"One life for another is acceptable right?" And as silent as he came, he left. The only sound was his fur coat brushing the pews.
Romario waited til they were out of the sanctity of the church to hand him the loaded pistol. It was the one he found where Tsuna fell.
That bastard's life for Tsuna's.
4. Lambo Bovino and Ipin
When the news reached them, he was 25 and she was 15 (malfunctioning bazooka of doom be damned). He had five minutes and she had a look of eternal despair. Lambo took in the gray skies, the clearing where they stood away from the grieving mass of black and her hand in his, and knew which part of the past he had returned to. A time he never wanted to re-live, a screwed up time. But here he was back at when Ipin was still just Ipin, childhood best friend, kick-ass combat partner, the girl who would grow into a woman he would soon love more than life itself. It was difficult but he patted her hand and avoided her teary gaze. Wordlessly, she stood taller to lean against his shoulder. The solidness of each other became some sort of comfort but it couldn't reduce the pain.
"He didn't deserve to die," she whispered haltingly and Lambo only squeezed her hand tighter. There were so many words swimming in his head but even at 25, Lambo was awkward. He wanted to tell Ipin that nobody deserved to be separated from their loved ones and that he had many regrets. Too many words of gratitude and promises for the dead but five minutes wasn't a very long time, so Lambo concentrated on the living. He figured Tsuna would have done the same.
So he stood and waited for the tears to stop. And just as he vanished into a puff of pink smoke, the tear tracks began to dry.
5. Rukudo Mukuro and Kuromu Dokuro
He knew it was inevitable. He was there when the devil planned it and Mukuro didn't subscribe to miracles. What chance was there in stopping something like a two ton truck rounding a corner too fast? Mukuro wasn't going to play the hero when there was no grail left. Yet there was something very different from having the knowledge of evil coming your way and having it hit you in the face.
He heard it through her. Her quiet sobbing was like the loud crack of the pistol that silenced him. It rang incessantly through him and every cell in him rebelled against the simplicity of the truth. Her grief became an unnecessary connection and Mukuro shut her out.
***
"Leo-kun do you think Shou-chan will like white roses?"
"Yes Byakuran-sama, they are very becoming."
"You know its flower language?"
"Purity and virtue, Byakuran-sama."
"That's what it wants people to think Leo-kun..." the Millefoire leader smiles like a dirty secret and Mukuro plays his role of an oblivious PA to perfection. He knows what the other is getting at but reasons that there is no point risking his life for a dead man.
"White roses signify death, Leo-kun. A premature death preferred over a loss of virtue. I don't think Shou-chan will like it very much."
Mukuro makes a face akin to remorse and stutters appropriately. "M-m-my apologies Byakuran-sama, how about some lilies then?"
Byakuran doesn't answer. He is suddenly preoccupied with the loss of his marshmallows (Mukuro ate them), flowers forgotten.
So Mukuro signs off an order for a truck of lillies to the Millefoire HQ in Japan and charges a side order of Easter lilies to Chrome on Byakuran's account. He makes sure that Irie Shouichi's lilies get swapped with withered lotus corniculatus.
Irie takes one look and sends the plants to be incinerated. He doesn't need to check to know that they mean revenge and retribution.
***
There is no name on the card that comes with the Easter lilies but she knows.
Kuromu,
Do you know that Easter lilies represent resurrection?
Chrome brings them to the funeral and prays for hope.
6. Hibari Kyouya
Hibari Kyouya, true to his nature, did not go to the funeral. There was no need to crowd, after all, he paid his dues when the man was alive and that was all that mattered. When Kusakabe came back from the service, he found the information and communications lab wrecked beyond repair and Hibari's tonfas broken neatly in halves, strewn somewhere between the dented door and the damaged screens. There was no blood or signs of struggle, so he allowed himself to breathe a silent sigh of relief. From the corner of his eye, he spotted an offending sheet of crumpled paper. Fax paper. Dated the week before, he noticed as he smoothed it out.
Skylark,
The sky will be bloody tomorrow. I think it could use some clouds.
Pineapple.
At once, Kusakube understood Hibari's need for destruction but it was too late now. A week too late.
7. Sasagawa Ryohei and Varia
We're Xanxus's Varia. Our boss is Vongola the 9th, Squalo had snarled when Lussuria asked if he was wearing leather to a funeral. And Lussuria took that as an indication not to RSVP for Squalo. The rest of Varia had the decency to pretend that they didn't know about the death, so Lussuria was the one who broke the news to him, his hand lingered at the base of Ryohei's neck for too long.
"That pisses me off to the EXTREME!"
Okay... Lussuria wasn't expecting that, not that he hadn't gotten used to the other's EXTREME outbursts. He was forced out of his little reverie when Ryohei kicked the short coffee table over (accidentally?) as he stood, shrugging on his suit jacket in one smooth motion. Oh dear, that was Bel-chan's favorite, Lussuria mused as he gingerly side stepped the broken glass and crystals.
"That was so not EXTREME Sawada!" Ryohei shot Lussuria THE LOOK, it was as if he was asking for some sort of... affirmation.
Lussuria froze. Was he supposed to know something? Even behind his Armani shades, Ryohei's gaze hurt like the sun.
"Sawada Tsunayoshi suits white and angel wings, no? There's nothing extreme about death," Lussuria laughed it off.
Poor sod, he's suffering from denial. He tried to make a puppy face but it turned out rather perverted, not that Ryohei noticed.
"NO Lussuria! Dying by gunshot is NOT EXTREME!"
So Ryohei continued to rant and rail. It was the only way he knew how to release the sorrow threatening to eat him alive.
8. Yamamoto Takeshi
Yamamoto knew more than he let on. Life was a game to him and he was good at games. They were all about rules, goals and teams, just like the Mafia game Tsuna played, albeit more dangerous. There were unspoken rules, one goal and a family that trumped everything else. Yamamoto knew the likes of Hibari and Gokudera disapproved of his careless outlook but Hey! Somebody's gotta be the cheerleader in the team. Even in the most depressing of situations like that of today, when no one could find a reason to be happy, the Rain Guardian continued to smile softly, bowing at every guest who came to pay their last respects.
Yamamoto knew Tsuna would have it no other way.
9. Gokudera Hayato
Sawada Tsunayoshi taught him many things. The strength of faith, the power of friendship and that you didn't need blood ties to be family. But it is in his death that he taught Gokudera the most important lesson in life - to live. And the right hand man of Vongola the Tenth was not one to disobey direct orders, so he lived. He lived everyday in reverence of the one man he swore to follow and serve.
But all it took was Yamamoto's laugh for him to derail. He was doing it wrong. Wrong again. Just like when they were up against Ganma and the words stung like a fresh wound. But this time Gokudera didn't push responsibilities, he took a step back and left.
He walked for the longest time, emptying his mind till his feet stopped moving and he found himself at a familiar clearing. He wondered if he had fallen asleep because this was the place that haunted his dreams. But there was snow here and in his dreams, the place was evergreen. There was something disturbingly wrong with a coffin above the ground but he didn't question it then, he wouldn't now. Gokudera allowed himself a whimsical thought that perhaps then he believed in the promise of Chrome's Easter lilies.
"Is it okay Boss?" Gokudera whispered. His fingers itched for cigarettes, not to smoke, just to hold. Something to keep his hands from prying the lacquered wood apart and shaking that familiar body he knew and loved.
"Is it okay?" It took all of his resistance not to scream it out.
"Is it okay to smile?"
"I'm trying..." His voice breaks but there is no one there to hear it.
"We're starting to smile again Boss."
"Is that okay?"
Is that okay... Tsuna?
10. Sawada Tsunayoshi & Reborn
The day before the end, he knelt before a grave in the Vongola family cemetery - a sea of white so unlike the bleakness of the business they were in. For the strongest hitman of the Vongola, Reborn's tombstone was like the rest of them, all stone and pristine. Tsuna knew his long time teacher, partner, accomplice, friend, would not stand for preferential treatment. After all, what good was a tombstone when there was no body beneath it? But it didn't stop him from coming back time and time again. Everything started to fall apart when Reborn died. Not many understood his weekly hike up the forests but Tsuna wouldn't miss it for the world. He didn't bring flowers and neither did he go in black. He most definitely did not cry. Reborn would have been insulted by his senseless tears. Instead, that day, he pressed his forehead against the hard granite and whispered a heart-achingly familiar question.
"What should I do Reborn?" Tsuna did not expect an answer, Reborn never let him have it easy. With eyes closed, head bowed and hands on his knees, Tsuna stayed till he could not feel his feet, as if that would atone for all of Vongola's sins.
"What would you..." His voice trailed off in the summer breeze as he lifted his gaze to the engraved words. There and then, he decided that these would be the same words carved on his tombstone. And with one last backward glance, he walked to his death.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I'm not there, I do not sleep.
I'm in a thousand winds that blow.
I'm the softly falling snow.
I'm the gentle showers of rain.
I'm the fields of ripening grain.
I'm in the morning hush.
I'm in the graceful rush,
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I'm the starshine of the night.
I'm in the flowers that bloom.
I'm in a quiet room.
I'm in the birds that sing.
I'm in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I'm not there, I do not die.
~ Poem of bereavement by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004) ~
/EDIT- I HAVE NO WORDS. CODE GEASS R2 #24. WHAT. SRSLY? THE MOST AMAZING MIND FUCK. MARRY ME LELOUCH!
Title: Live
Rating: PG-13 for implications and character death.
Characters: Almost everyone related to Sawada Tsunayoshi, TYL version.
Summary: A series of interconnected drabbles or character introspectives if you like. Reactions to Tsuna's apparent death.
1. Sawada Iemitsu and Nana
Away in Rome when it happened (a real honeymoon like their son suggested), they were the last to know but it didn't make the grief any less. Ieamitsu knew it was just like Tsuna to do this, completely unnecessary yet thoughtful till his very end. To hold off the pain for as long as humanly possible for the innocent. It was then, as he held the innocent in his arms, feeling Nana convulse against him that Iemitsu wondered how they managed to outlive their son. He couldn't help question the wisdom of his decision 10 years ago.
Who cares about the Vongola famiglia if his own family is in shreds?
2. Fuuta
Fuuta's ranking system had long been computerized by Gianini. Convenience, they said. Sure, it was easier this way but sometimes Fuuta thought there was nothing like the feel of traditional ink on paper. So on the day Vongola the Tenth dies, Fuuta cracks open the ancient tome and on the last page, he prints in his immaculate hand. Nobody sees his hand shake.
Will be missed the most:
#1 Tsuna-nii
Then Fuuta burns the record because a man that defies all predictions deserved more than just being immortalized in numbers.
3. Dino Cavallone
He wasn't a religious man. If he had a God, it would be his family. Dino Cavallone was all about family and Vongola the Tenth had long been christened into his. He knew Tsuna had died in his line of duty and that if given a choice, he would have done the same. He saw so much of himself in the brunette. The same innocence, the same fear and most of all the same resolve. Dino was no hero in shining armor, he was selfish and weak. But he wasn't greedy, he only wanted enough power to protect the ones close to heart and Tsuna was the same. They were so hopelessly alike that it felt like losing a part of himself.
The day after the funeral, Dino went to church, the first time in a long while. Standing before the altar, the Cavallone heir refused to kneel or bow his head. Instead he lifted his face to the cross, the stained glass' rainbow light dancing on his golden hair.
"One life for another is acceptable right?" And as silent as he came, he left. The only sound was his fur coat brushing the pews.
Romario waited til they were out of the sanctity of the church to hand him the loaded pistol. It was the one he found where Tsuna fell.
That bastard's life for Tsuna's.
4. Lambo Bovino and Ipin
When the news reached them, he was 25 and she was 15 (malfunctioning bazooka of doom be damned). He had five minutes and she had a look of eternal despair. Lambo took in the gray skies, the clearing where they stood away from the grieving mass of black and her hand in his, and knew which part of the past he had returned to. A time he never wanted to re-live, a screwed up time. But here he was back at when Ipin was still just Ipin, childhood best friend, kick-ass combat partner, the girl who would grow into a woman he would soon love more than life itself. It was difficult but he patted her hand and avoided her teary gaze. Wordlessly, she stood taller to lean against his shoulder. The solidness of each other became some sort of comfort but it couldn't reduce the pain.
"He didn't deserve to die," she whispered haltingly and Lambo only squeezed her hand tighter. There were so many words swimming in his head but even at 25, Lambo was awkward. He wanted to tell Ipin that nobody deserved to be separated from their loved ones and that he had many regrets. Too many words of gratitude and promises for the dead but five minutes wasn't a very long time, so Lambo concentrated on the living. He figured Tsuna would have done the same.
So he stood and waited for the tears to stop. And just as he vanished into a puff of pink smoke, the tear tracks began to dry.
5. Rukudo Mukuro and Kuromu Dokuro
He knew it was inevitable. He was there when the devil planned it and Mukuro didn't subscribe to miracles. What chance was there in stopping something like a two ton truck rounding a corner too fast? Mukuro wasn't going to play the hero when there was no grail left. Yet there was something very different from having the knowledge of evil coming your way and having it hit you in the face.
He heard it through her. Her quiet sobbing was like the loud crack of the pistol that silenced him. It rang incessantly through him and every cell in him rebelled against the simplicity of the truth. Her grief became an unnecessary connection and Mukuro shut her out.
***
"Leo-kun do you think Shou-chan will like white roses?"
"Yes Byakuran-sama, they are very becoming."
"You know its flower language?"
"Purity and virtue, Byakuran-sama."
"That's what it wants people to think Leo-kun..." the Millefoire leader smiles like a dirty secret and Mukuro plays his role of an oblivious PA to perfection. He knows what the other is getting at but reasons that there is no point risking his life for a dead man.
"White roses signify death, Leo-kun. A premature death preferred over a loss of virtue. I don't think Shou-chan will like it very much."
Mukuro makes a face akin to remorse and stutters appropriately. "M-m-my apologies Byakuran-sama, how about some lilies then?"
Byakuran doesn't answer. He is suddenly preoccupied with the loss of his marshmallows (Mukuro ate them), flowers forgotten.
So Mukuro signs off an order for a truck of lillies to the Millefoire HQ in Japan and charges a side order of Easter lilies to Chrome on Byakuran's account. He makes sure that Irie Shouichi's lilies get swapped with withered lotus corniculatus.
Irie takes one look and sends the plants to be incinerated. He doesn't need to check to know that they mean revenge and retribution.
***
There is no name on the card that comes with the Easter lilies but she knows.
Kuromu,
Do you know that Easter lilies represent resurrection?
Chrome brings them to the funeral and prays for hope.
6. Hibari Kyouya
Hibari Kyouya, true to his nature, did not go to the funeral. There was no need to crowd, after all, he paid his dues when the man was alive and that was all that mattered. When Kusakabe came back from the service, he found the information and communications lab wrecked beyond repair and Hibari's tonfas broken neatly in halves, strewn somewhere between the dented door and the damaged screens. There was no blood or signs of struggle, so he allowed himself to breathe a silent sigh of relief. From the corner of his eye, he spotted an offending sheet of crumpled paper. Fax paper. Dated the week before, he noticed as he smoothed it out.
Skylark,
The sky will be bloody tomorrow. I think it could use some clouds.
Pineapple.
At once, Kusakube understood Hibari's need for destruction but it was too late now. A week too late.
7. Sasagawa Ryohei and Varia
We're Xanxus's Varia. Our boss is Vongola the 9th, Squalo had snarled when Lussuria asked if he was wearing leather to a funeral. And Lussuria took that as an indication not to RSVP for Squalo. The rest of Varia had the decency to pretend that they didn't know about the death, so Lussuria was the one who broke the news to him, his hand lingered at the base of Ryohei's neck for too long.
"That pisses me off to the EXTREME!"
Okay... Lussuria wasn't expecting that, not that he hadn't gotten used to the other's EXTREME outbursts. He was forced out of his little reverie when Ryohei kicked the short coffee table over (accidentally?) as he stood, shrugging on his suit jacket in one smooth motion. Oh dear, that was Bel-chan's favorite, Lussuria mused as he gingerly side stepped the broken glass and crystals.
"That was so not EXTREME Sawada!" Ryohei shot Lussuria THE LOOK, it was as if he was asking for some sort of... affirmation.
Lussuria froze. Was he supposed to know something? Even behind his Armani shades, Ryohei's gaze hurt like the sun.
"Sawada Tsunayoshi suits white and angel wings, no? There's nothing extreme about death," Lussuria laughed it off.
Poor sod, he's suffering from denial. He tried to make a puppy face but it turned out rather perverted, not that Ryohei noticed.
"NO Lussuria! Dying by gunshot is NOT EXTREME!"
So Ryohei continued to rant and rail. It was the only way he knew how to release the sorrow threatening to eat him alive.
8. Yamamoto Takeshi
Yamamoto knew more than he let on. Life was a game to him and he was good at games. They were all about rules, goals and teams, just like the Mafia game Tsuna played, albeit more dangerous. There were unspoken rules, one goal and a family that trumped everything else. Yamamoto knew the likes of Hibari and Gokudera disapproved of his careless outlook but Hey! Somebody's gotta be the cheerleader in the team. Even in the most depressing of situations like that of today, when no one could find a reason to be happy, the Rain Guardian continued to smile softly, bowing at every guest who came to pay their last respects.
Yamamoto knew Tsuna would have it no other way.
9. Gokudera Hayato
Sawada Tsunayoshi taught him many things. The strength of faith, the power of friendship and that you didn't need blood ties to be family. But it is in his death that he taught Gokudera the most important lesson in life - to live. And the right hand man of Vongola the Tenth was not one to disobey direct orders, so he lived. He lived everyday in reverence of the one man he swore to follow and serve.
But all it took was Yamamoto's laugh for him to derail. He was doing it wrong. Wrong again. Just like when they were up against Ganma and the words stung like a fresh wound. But this time Gokudera didn't push responsibilities, he took a step back and left.
He walked for the longest time, emptying his mind till his feet stopped moving and he found himself at a familiar clearing. He wondered if he had fallen asleep because this was the place that haunted his dreams. But there was snow here and in his dreams, the place was evergreen. There was something disturbingly wrong with a coffin above the ground but he didn't question it then, he wouldn't now. Gokudera allowed himself a whimsical thought that perhaps then he believed in the promise of Chrome's Easter lilies.
"Is it okay Boss?" Gokudera whispered. His fingers itched for cigarettes, not to smoke, just to hold. Something to keep his hands from prying the lacquered wood apart and shaking that familiar body he knew and loved.
"Is it okay?" It took all of his resistance not to scream it out.
"Is it okay to smile?"
"I'm trying..." His voice breaks but there is no one there to hear it.
"We're starting to smile again Boss."
"Is that okay?"
Is that okay... Tsuna?
10. Sawada Tsunayoshi & Reborn
The day before the end, he knelt before a grave in the Vongola family cemetery - a sea of white so unlike the bleakness of the business they were in. For the strongest hitman of the Vongola, Reborn's tombstone was like the rest of them, all stone and pristine. Tsuna knew his long time teacher, partner, accomplice, friend, would not stand for preferential treatment. After all, what good was a tombstone when there was no body beneath it? But it didn't stop him from coming back time and time again. Everything started to fall apart when Reborn died. Not many understood his weekly hike up the forests but Tsuna wouldn't miss it for the world. He didn't bring flowers and neither did he go in black. He most definitely did not cry. Reborn would have been insulted by his senseless tears. Instead, that day, he pressed his forehead against the hard granite and whispered a heart-achingly familiar question.
"What should I do Reborn?" Tsuna did not expect an answer, Reborn never let him have it easy. With eyes closed, head bowed and hands on his knees, Tsuna stayed till he could not feel his feet, as if that would atone for all of Vongola's sins.
"What would you..." His voice trailed off in the summer breeze as he lifted his gaze to the engraved words. There and then, he decided that these would be the same words carved on his tombstone. And with one last backward glance, he walked to his death.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I'm not there, I do not sleep.
I'm in a thousand winds that blow.
I'm the softly falling snow.
I'm the gentle showers of rain.
I'm the fields of ripening grain.
I'm in the morning hush.
I'm in the graceful rush,
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I'm the starshine of the night.
I'm in the flowers that bloom.
I'm in a quiet room.
I'm in the birds that sing.
I'm in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I'm not there, I do not die.
~ Poem of bereavement by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004) ~
/EDIT- I HAVE NO WORDS. CODE GEASS R2 #24. WHAT. SRSLY? THE MOST AMAZING MIND FUCK. MARRY ME LELOUCH!