47% OF BRAINCELLS HAS BEEN LOST. I AM ONLY UP TO PAGE 172

[thepillowsnake]

So I took twilight out from the library.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. I. THINKING.

I knew it was going to be bad, but dear god. I've already trawled through 170 pages, and absolutely nothing has happened. Occasionally, between the tears-of-blood-crying spells and the hours spent in the foetal position sucking my thumb so hard the skin starts to break, I

Comments

[maichan]

DUDE, I SO WANT THE WASTED HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK THAT I SPENT READING THAT PIECE OF CRAP. I KEPT GOING BECAUSE I THOUGHT FOR SURE IT HAD TO GET BETTER BY THE END, BUT NO DDD:

[thepillowsnake]

MAN, ME TOO. WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT I ONLY WASTED HOURS READING IT SO I COULD WASTE HOURS ARGUING WITH TWILIGHT FANS ON THE INTERNET.

[krisd81]

I want to have a deep discussion with you about it as I've just read it myself. I found it so endearing in its retardedness that I'm reading the rest of the series.
I laughed at dazzle and chagrin a lot too. Luckily, chagrin is used in every other sentence so it's basically a very funny book.
My fave (and when I say fave, I mean lamest of the lame) part was "I can do it. No one is going to bite me." LOLOLOLOLOL Ooh, lame wordplays are lame.
About nothing happening: I KNOW! And lemme tell you, in the second book? EVEN LESS HAPPENS! Beacuse when she doesn't know what to write - SHE LEAVES BLANK PAGES! Oh Smeyer, how lulzy you are!

[thepillowsnake]

I think I'm going to end up reading the rest of the series too. I know it's not going to be good for me, but I'm so damn curious as to how she can actually make it any worse.

My fave was when Edward asked: "Do I dazzle you?" I started laughing like a maniac. My sister asked me what was so funny and I told her. She just smiled and nodded. IT'S LIKE SHE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY OR SOMETHING. HAHAHAHAHA OH GOD.

Also, I think she's actually on the right track with the blank pages. She just needs to add a few hundred more, get rid of all the words, and voila! Her novel gets a thousand times better.

[eerie_descent]

twilight is death.

[thepillowsnake]

It's worse than that.

[eerie_descent]

you're right.

A crith is the weight of a liter of hydrogen. I learned that today. I think we can apply that to Twilight.

A twilight is how one measures worse than death.

Seventeen twilights is the horror of ten lifetimes worth of worse than death.

It's a very exact, yet self-mutilation-inducing, science.

[thepillowsnake]

You should write a thesis on this.

[tiffiny]

THE FIRST BOOK IS THE BEST ONE, TOO.

[thepillowsnake]

I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST SHOOT MYSELF NOW

[sho_sick]

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BB GIMME BACK MY FLIST FUCKING SMEYER!!!

[thepillowsnake]

WILL YOU PLEASE HUNT HER DOWN FOR ME?

[sho_sick]

IM ALREADY ON MY WAY

[thepillowsnake]

GOOD

FORCE HER TO READ HER OWN BOOK SO SHE WILL DIE SLOWLY IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN