sex [...] is what's ostracised us from the mainstream
I disagree. I think many or most straights are sincere when they say they don't care what anyone else does in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Certainly the recent USSC decision that sodomy laws are unConstitutional supports that notion.
You've tangentially hit on a major terminological problem that I think greatly exacerbates the antagonism between gays and straights: The terms "heterosexual", "bisexual" and "homosexual" inappropriately focus on...sex. This is one thing that differentiates us from them, true, but it is only one of many things. Lots of people have lots of unconventional sex 'cause they're bored or stoned or on a power trip or whatever. Nominally classifying us only by the kind of sex we have (homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual) plays directly into the hands of those who claim it's just a "lifestyle choice" or a "behavioural choice", because to that extent, they're absolutely right: Each and every one of us chooses what kind of sex we have, where, when and with
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if the tradition is penis in vagina, then homosexual sex is untraditional. parents, churches, and schools teach about penis in vagina - there is significantly less information about penis in mouth, tongue in vagina, penis in anus, dildo in anus, dildo in vagina, finger in vagina, etc. we say "oral sex" and "anal sex," but there is not the same amount of instruction as there is in vaginal penetration by a penis.
Granted, but even before there was any such talk in school, church or even within families...people had no trouble figuring it out. "Doin' what comes natchurlee", as the song goes.
I really don't think lack of instruction about gay sex is why gay men jabber about it so much. Rather, I think it's primarily because there's considerably less systemic inhibition on doing so, and I think that's because there is a gap between the physical-tactile experience of sex in men and in women, different plumbing, different language. For homosexuals, there is no such gap, because there's a common ground, i.e.a common physical/tactile experiential body (as it were) of knowledge, a common language, etc.
I know many gay men talk a lot about sex, but I don't. Depends on the person and the situation. I do feel much more open and willing to talk about sex than most of my straight friends. But I think that that is more due to the intense amount of internal work I had to do in order to come out.
I really really did some soul searching about my sexuality in my early years, since I didn't see it reflected at all in the culture in which I was growing up. So, by the time I came out, I was extremely comfortable with sexual issues of any kind. My mother even had me talk to my younger sister about "the birds and the bees" cuz my mom is a nervous nelly.
I think when people don't have to closely examine their desires (like most straight people, since they're reinforced everywhere they look) they tend not to be open or verbal about it.
On the other hand, might just be a guy thing. Most of the lesbians I know don't talk too much about what they like to do, sexually. Could just be us loudmouthed
I agree, the personal is political. If you're prepared to take the heat for it, more power to you. But on the other hand you might want to bide your time ... ? Either way, it sucks being beholden to other people for your sustenance
the night before the honeymoon is a classic example...
i was referring to "babies are made when i penis is inserted into a vagina and the man ejaculates...." schools and such give at least a blueprint as to what "sex" is. everything i know about gay sex has been learned through talking with friends and reading stuff on the internet.
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I disagree. I think many or most straights are sincere when they say they don't care what anyone else does in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Certainly the recent USSC decision that sodomy laws are unConstitutional supports that notion.
You've tangentially hit on a major terminological problem that I think greatly exacerbates the antagonism between gays and straights: The terms "heterosexual", "bisexual" and "homosexual" inappropriately focus on...sex. This is one thing that differentiates us from them, true, but it is only one of many things. Lots of people have lots of unconventional sex 'cause they're bored or stoned or on a power trip or whatever. Nominally classifying us only by the kind of sex we have (homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual) plays directly into the hands of those who claim it's just a "lifestyle choice" or a "behavioural choice", because to that extent, they're absolutely right: Each and every one of us chooses what kind of sex we have, where, when and with ( ... )
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I really don't think lack of instruction about gay sex is why gay men jabber about it so much. Rather, I think it's primarily because there's considerably less systemic inhibition on doing so, and I think that's because there is a gap between the physical-tactile experience of sex in men and in women, different plumbing, different language. For homosexuals, there is no such gap, because there's a common ground, i.e.a common physical/tactile experiential body (as it were) of knowledge, a common language, etc.
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I know many gay men talk a lot about sex, but I don't. Depends on the person and the situation. I do feel much more open and willing to talk about sex than most of my straight friends. But I think that that is more due to the intense amount of internal work I had to do in order to come out.
I really really did some soul searching about my sexuality in my early years, since I didn't see it reflected at all in the culture in which I was growing up. So, by the time I came out, I was extremely comfortable with sexual issues of any kind. My mother even had me talk to my younger sister about "the birds and the bees" cuz my mom is a nervous nelly.
I think when people don't have to closely examine their desires (like most straight people, since they're reinforced everywhere they look) they tend not to be open or verbal about it.
On the other hand, might just be a guy thing. Most of the lesbians I know don't talk too much about what they like to do, sexually. Could just be us loudmouthed
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I'm looking forward to meeting you:)
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looking forward to meeting you too!
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i was referring to "babies are made when i penis is inserted into a vagina and the man ejaculates...." schools and such give at least a blueprint as to what "sex" is. everything i know about gay sex has been learned through talking with friends and reading stuff on the internet.
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