Grieving (30 Tears: Shinichi and Ran)
Title: Grieving
Author: Ran-dezvous
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Fandom: Detective Conan
Pairing: Kudou Shinichi and Mouri Ran
Theme: #5 - death
Word Count: 827
Rating: PG
Original Publish Date: March 31, 2008
Disclaimer: I don’t own Detective Conan. I only borrow the characters, brainwash them, and make them wear tacky outfits . . . before unleashing hell upon them.
Summary: Death is not the end of it all. Or is it?
“I’m sorry, but we weren’t able to save him.”
Those words, those words she never wanted to hear again meant the end of her world-like a mirror shattered into tiny shards of glass. Memories of those painful words reverberated in her head; she felt as if a knife was thrust in her heart multiple times. “That-that can’t be true!” Ran mumbled in disbelief, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. This was what she showed in that tiny expanse of a hospital ward, but deep inside her heart was heavily bleeding. “You’re kidding, right?”
“How I wish I were.” The middle-aged man in the white coat callously replied, with the sound of the raging thunderstorm adding to the gloom of the all too terrible news. “I’m sorry.”
“N-no. . . .” She wanted to say more, attempting to push her voice out of her throat, but to no avail. All she could do was sniffle as tears slowly cascaded down her cheeks, like the rain dripping down on the windowpane right next to her.
She gripped her blanket tightly, trying to accept the truth-the truth which had always been his advocacy-but she couldn’t. She simply couldn’t-wouldn’t. How could she ever possibly accept it? She had waited so long for this day to come, and now that it already had, fate took him away. It wasn’t fair-it just wasn’t.
Ran shook her head. “I don’t believe it, doctor. He’s much stronger than that!”
“Look here, miss-”
“NO!” she yelled with utmost audacity, the rage in her heart building up like a flame growing into a fiery blaze. “He’s not dead!”
“I know it’s terrible news, miss, but you’re going to have to accept the fact that he’s already-”
“Don’t say that word, dammit!” Like a kettle blowing off its steam, she had already lost her temper. Through gritted teeth, she started taking off the various IV tubes attached to her arms. “I’ll show you, he’s not-” The two nurses with her had pressed Ran’s arms toward the bed, one on each side. She wiggled and wiggled, trying to get out of the nurses’ firm grasp. “Let go of me! Let go-”
The doctor adjusted the glasses on the bridge of his nose and said calmly, “It looks like I’m going to have to sedate you.”
-
Her feet made their way slowly on the cobblestone path, occasionally stepping on the crisp autumn leaves. Ran wrapped the scarf around her neck some more, for it was getting a bit chilly-it was almost winter, after all. A few more minutes of walking, and she had finally reached her destination. Laying the bouquet of daisies on the ground, she lit some incense sticks, clasped her hands together, and prayed for a while.
She opened her eyes and saw the maple trees in front of her. Red maple leaves slowly descended the ground, as if to keep in tempo with the falling of her tears.
Red. Red was his favorite color. No, it was their favorite color. A color of passion, of a love that all died too soon. Fate was cruel, wasn’t it? How she wished things ended like the school play, the play where she played the role of Princess Heart and he was her knight in shining armor. Or maybe some other fairy tale-as long as they got to live happily ever after. But life just wasn’t like that.
“Shinichi, you jerk! How . . . how could you be so selfish?” She yelled at the top of her voice.
She thought she could move on since he had left a piece of himself in her-but fate had been cruel enough to take that away as well.
Now she wasn’t so sure. The only reason she had managed to keep herself strong-despite all the tears-was the hope that everything will be alright in the end. What if he was actually right? What if there was no afterlife? She could feel the embers of her heart slowly dying, and for a moment she was filled with an abysmal hopelessness-what reason had she left for living?
Ran stooped down on the ground, her tears falling. “I . . . I don’t know what to do now. . . .” She sniffled and tried to wipe the tears out of her eyes, which were starting to get sore. “But . . . I can’t get my emotions get the best of me, right, Shinichi? I have to move on, and live my life-will you wait for me? And even if there was no afterlife, at least our ashes would be together . . . never to be apart.”
And for a second there, she thought she saw the silhouette of a man carrying a baby in his arms.
She thought she heard the sound of his voice.
“Shinichi?”
Alas, it was only an illusion.
Finally, a fic after a long while. For those who figured out that Shinichi and Ran had a son, kudos (pun most definitely intended) to you!
A million thanks to my sister moonlitdawn for her valuable input (Ran going into hysteria was her idea), constant putting up with my whining about my imagery being good enough, and most of all, getting me off my procrastinating fanfic writing butt!
Hope you’ve enjoyed the fic, and concrit is still very much loved. Until next time!