Fic: First & Last
Title First & Last
Rating PG-13
Word Count 3,536
Summary Kurt wonders if Blaine will be his first love, his last love, his only. He knows it’s silly to think that way. You don’t end up with your first love. Life is too complicated for that. But still, everyone hopes, right? Everyone’s silly and young and hopes. - The story of two first dates.
Notes For heidiisdisney at fandomaid. Vague references to 4.14.
Blaine asks Kurt out on their first date hours after their first kiss, back when they’re both at home over hushed conversations on their cell phones. They’re already up far too late for a school night, but they’re overwhelmed with emotion and can’t seem to say goodnight.
“So, since we’ve already been to Breadstix a bunch of times on non-dates, I was thinking we could do something a little more special?” Blaine says, and Kurt can hear the bashful smile in his voice, and god, it doesn’t matter how long it had taken Blaine to come to his senses because he had.
“Go on,” Kurt replies, turning over on his side where he’s situated on his bed. He tucks his free hand under the pillow where it’s nice and cool. He lets it open and close of its own fruition; it still tingles from earlier when Blaine held it as they walked to their cars, from when they kissed and Kurt grasped for something, anything to anchor him since he felt as if he was about to float away at any moment.
“David’s sister’s school is having this carnival thing - kind of like a fair to raise money for their clubs. They do it every year. It’s kind of cheesy, they have games and a ferris wheel and, I don’t know -”
“I’d love to go with you. As a date,” Kurt finally says, cutting off his rambling, even though it is adorable.
Blaine laughs nervously before saying, “Yeah? I’m pretty bad at this romance thing, Kurt, but you make me want to try.”
So on Saturday, after a long morning and afternoon of practicing with the Warblers, Blaine picks Kurt up in his beat up station wagon to drive to Hamilton Day School. Kurt rushes out the front door to meet Blaine in the driveway, wanting to avoid any questions from his dad or Carole or Finn, who are all sort of hovering in the living room inexplicably. He hasn’t told them about him and Blaine yet. He will, but he wants to get through the competition first.
“Hey,” Kurt says as he approaches Blaine standing outside the driver’s side door, and he tugs his scarf a little tighter, hoping he can blame the way his cheeks flush pink when Blaine glances his way on the cool spring breeze. Blaine even looks at him differently now, like he really has been looking for Kurt forever and he’s been here all along.
“Hey,” Blaine returns, his lips curling up into a smile. “You look amazing.”
“I always look amazing,” Kurt counters sharply, but he’s grinning too. “I like this,” he adds softly running a finger over Blaine’s plaid bow tie. He fell hard and fast for a boy in a blazer, but he gets to see Blaine out of it so rarely, whenever he does it’s such a treat. Even now, when they do things after school, they usually don’t bother to change since Warbler practice runs so late.
They talk animatedly on the drive about practice earlier; how they think things are coming together and Kurt’s candid thoughts on whether or not they can beat New Directions. At some point, Blaine reaches across the console for Kurt’s hand, and Kurt lets him take it even if driving one-handed probably isn’t the safest idea. Blaine’s thumb is rubbing circles into his palm as they talk and their fingers are interlaced and Kurt can’t believe how perfectly their hands fit together. Do all hands do that? Surely not. Surely his hand and Blaine’s hand are just a perfect mold. Kurt never wants to let go.
When they arrive at the school, the carnival is bigger than Kurt expected. They really do have a full size ferris wheel, as well as a few other rides and games and food stands. It’s packed, people and kids of all ages buzzing about, and Kurt doesn’t know where to start.
Blaine’s eyes are huge though, almost panicked. “I had no idea there would be this many people. This is the least romantic date ever.”
Kurt just laughs and grabs him by the elbow. “Don’t be silly. It’ll be fun. Come on!”
They wander for a bit, just taking in the sights and whispering comments about what they pass in each other’s ears (“You did just see that, right?” “Leopard print pleather should be outlawed.”) Finally, they end up in the makeshift midway and Kurt asks, “So, are you good at any of these games?”
“Why, are you suggesting I try to win my boyfriend a prize?” Blaine grins at Kurt, whose heart stops beating in his chest because boyfriend. Oh my god. He also apparently stops walking, because Blaine ends up a few paces ahead of him, finally realizing it and turning around and rushing back. “Oh, I mean, I don’t - what was I -”
“No, no -” Kurt blurts out, shaking his head, because he doesn’t want to discourage that. He takes a deep breath and smiles, straightening Blaine’s cardigan out in the shoulders. “I like that idea very much.”
Blaine decides on skee ball, and Kurt also likes that idea, he comes to find out. Blaine passes the guy running it a five dollar bill (presumably someone’s dad), and when his little balls trill out of the machine, he has to keep bending over to send them up the ramp. Which gives Kurt a spectacular view of the incredibly tight jeans Blaine chose to wear today, so much tighter than the Dalton slacks could ever dream of being, the fabric clinging to his thighs and butt.
Kurt’s always been aware of Blaine’s lovely backside, but has never openly stared before, because Blaine was his friend and friends don’t ogle each other. Much. But now that Blaine is his boyfriend, that should be a boyfriend perk, right? Being permitted to stare at it when he keeps shoving it practically in your face?
Kurt finally stops when he feels his cheeks start to flush again, because they are in public and he should probably pay attention to Blaine’s game. Just as he does, Blaine’s next ball makes it in a one hundred point hole and Kurt claps and cheers appropriately. Blaine turns back around and grins proudly at him. At the end of his game, Blaine has enough points for a medium sized stuffed animal, and Kurt tells him to pick something out as a surprise, walking away to see what other games they have.
Kurt’s decided on the balloon darts for his game when Blaine walks over holding a stuffed sheep with a big, fluffy ivory coat and oversized black plastic eyes. “There was only one of him left and he didn’t want to stay with the others,” Blaine explains and Kurt laughs.
“He’s adorable. Come on, now it’s time for me to win something for my boyfriend.”
Kurt ends up hitting four out of his five balloons with the darts. He would have hit all five, but he notices Blaine watching him out of the corner of his eye halfway through. He wonders if Blaine is watching him in the same way he had Blaine earlier. He fumbles on his fourth dart, missing the balloon just barely. In case Blaine is watching him, for his last shot he leans over the counter a little more than usual and sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, focusing all of his concentration on the balloon ahead. The balloon explodes with a pop and Kurt notices Blaine jump out of the corner of his eye, his head jerking up to where the balloon was on the wall.
Kurt smiles secretly to himself as he picks out a brown bunny for Blaine with big floppy ears.
They decide to eat next, and as they’re sitting at a card table with their hamburgers and fries, a group of little kids running past, Blaine says, “I swear our second date will be more romantic. I’ll let you plan it.”
“Hey,” Kurt says, reaching across the table for Blaine’s hand. “Stop that. I told you I’m having fun. So it’s a little chaotic. It doesn’t matter because I’m here with you.”
“Promise?” Blaine asks, and his expression is so hopeful, Kurt wishes they weren’t in public just so he could leap across the table and kiss him.
“Promise,” Kurt repeats, giving his hand a tight squeeze before letting go of it to eat his food.
After they throw away their paper plates, they decide the only ride they definitely have to go on is the ferris wheel. There’s a bit of a line, so they hop in and wait. Hamilton Day is an elementary and middle school, so most of the kids in the line are younger than them, though there are a few teenagers that look their age that must have siblings at the school. The anonymity is nice for a change.
When it’s their turn, they get into the cart and Kurt sits across from Blaine. Blaine’s face falls as they rotate a position to let more people in and Kurt’s brow furrows. “What?” he asks, wondering what he did wrong.
“I just - I was hoping maybe we could sit closer?” He smiles sheepishly at Kurt, and oh.
He relays the sentiment out loud. “Oh. That’s - yeah.” Kurt smiles back, just as bashful, and scoots across to the other side next to him. He’s not sure if he should put his arm around Blaine’s shoulders. He starts to, but thinks against it since people in the other carts could see, and opts instead for taking Blaine’s hand in his again, letting them rest inbetween their laps. Blaine’s smile widens when he does and he squeezes their fingers together. Kurt lets his head drop a little on Blaine’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of him, his hair gel and his soap and whatever fabric softener his mom uses, and it’s amazing how Kurt already associates all of those things with Blaine. Every single one of them.
“And you said tonight wasn’t going to be romantic,” Kurt says softly into the crease of his neck just above his collar.
“You know,” Blaine whispers into his hair, and they’re moving now and it’s still a bit breezy and Kurt almost doesn’t hear him, that’s how quiet it is. “If we’re lucky enough to stop on the very top, no one would be able to see us.”
“Hmmm,” Kurt hums back in response saying nothing else as they circle around slowly, hands still clasped, sides pressed up against each other, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, knee to knee. Kurt feels warm all over from everywhere he’s touching Blaine despite the chill in the air. After two full rotations, somewhere halfway between the bottom and the very top and he asks, “What do you propose we do with those few seconds of privacy if we were to get so lucky?”
“I think I would have to kiss you. Just as a warning.” It’s dark out anyway, and Kurt’s pretty sure the people in the other carts aren’t even paying attention to them. Blaine picks up their still-joined hands and kisses the back of Kurt’s, ducking his head enough so people probably can’t see even if they are looking, just a barely-there brush of his lips.
“Duly noted,” Kurt replies, and his voice cracks. He should be embarrassed, but he’s here with Blaine and he really doesn’t care.
Sure enough, they rotate a quarter of a rotation and slow just as they’re approaching the very top slot, and Blaine shifts, turning his body towards Kurt’s. Blaine gave him the warning, Kurt knows he should be expecting it, but he’s still not. Kurt wonders when he’ll ever get used to Blaine’s lips warm against his, even with the night air so cool, the light pressure that makes his heart feel like it’s about to leap out of his chest, the soft slide back and forth that keeps getting even more perfect each time they do this. It’s just a few seconds before they start moving again, and once they jolt to motion, Kurt breaks the kiss and ducks, wondering if Blaine can see his smile in the dark.
He must, because Kurt can see his too.
They rotate around twice more in silence before they stop at the bottom and walk around the ride section a little closer than they had before, shoulders and hands brushing with each step. They decide they’re too old for all of the other rides, and opt for hot chocolate instead. They drink it on the way to Blaine’s station wagon, parked far out in the grass away from the carnival, talking in hushed tones along the way with their prizes tucked under their arms.
The radio plays quietly on the ride back to Kurt’s house and Kurt hums along as he continues drinking his hot chocolate. They pull up to his house, and the latest Katy Perry song comes on, ‘ET,’ which Kurt isn’t a huge fan of, but he’s not a huge Katy Perry fan to begin with (even if he did fall in love at first sight with Blaine singing one of her songs).
“Your touch magnetizing, feels like I am floating, leaves my body glowing,” Blaine sings, and Kurt doesn’t even care how awful the song is, because Blaine is looking at him while he’s singing it. But suddenly, he abruptly stops singing as he shuts off the radio and sighs. “Man, that song sucks, even if the lyrics are kind of true, because god, Kurt -”
Kurt sets down his hot chocolate in the cupholder and launches himself across the center console to kiss Blaine, which he’s not expecting from the way he squeaks when their lips finally hit each other. Blaine’s mouth is still warm and chocolate-flavored and with no radio playing in the background, their heavy breathing sounds amplified to Kurt’s ears. Somehow, his hand ends up cupping Blaine’s cheek as their lips glide against each other and Blaine’s fingers tangle in his scarf, and Kurt whispers, “Oh,” with one last kiss before they break.
Blaine’s breath is stuttering as Kurt whispers again. “I had a really nice time tonight. Promise.” Kurt leans back across the console, where he hopes he can think a little more clearly, picking up his hot chocolate on the way. “Call me when you get home?” he asks softly as he pops open the door, and Blaine nods.
“I had a nice time tonight too, you know,” Blaine calls out his rolled down window, and Kurt flutters his fingers at him as he walks up to the door.
“Where were you? Out with Blaine?” Burt asks from his chair when Kurt walks in, and Kurt answers, “Yeah,” his smile a little too bright for just a friendly visit, he knows. Burt eyes him curiously, but if he suspects anything, lets it slide as Kurt passes by, rushing upstairs.
Kurt unwinds his scarf and sets it on his bed, wondering if Blaine will be his first love, his last love, his only. He knows it’s silly to think that way. You don’t end up with your first love. Life is too complicated for that. But still, everyone hopes, right? Everyone’s silly and young and hopes.
He throws himself backwards on the bed, legs still dangling over the side, closes his eyes tight and hopes.
***
Kurt's not sure when the shift happens, the shift from being unsure to knowing and being absolutely terrified to finally realizing he can't live another day without telling him.
It’s early summer, and Blaine’s in the city to take care of some paperwork at NYADA and look at apartments for him and Sam for next fall. Rachel and Santana are off visiting Quinn, and Kurt expects Rachel back as soon as she realizes she’s turned into the third wheel (unless … she’s not. Kurt can’t think too hard about that.). Kurt expects to see Blaine at some point. He asked if he could make him dinner, and he figures he’ll run to the market up the street that’s open on weekends, locals who set up makeshift tables and their wares and pick up some fresh things, maybe some flowers.
He doesn’t expect to run into Blaine in the hall on the way out.
“Oh! Hi, I thought -”
“Later, I know,” Blaine says awkwardly, setting his bag on the floor and pulling Kurt into a hug. “I got done early and thought I’d surprise you.”
“You always do,” Kurt replies softly before pulling back and picking up his things for him. “I was just about to go shopping for food for supper, did you want to come? We can drop off your things upstairs first?”
“Oh!” Blaine’s expression is a little surprised, as if he wasn’t sure Kurt was actually going to cook for him or this was going to turn into another time where they’d end up in a bed, on the floor, in a back seat, just as friends. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.”
Kurt can tell he’s making Blaine nervous with his sudden urge to get out of the apartment, but he tries to act normal, asking Blaine about his morning at NYADA and the apartments he looked at. When they arrive at the market Kurt suggested, it’s not much, just a dozen or so vendors set up behind the fence, flags and signs decorating it. “They do this most weekends during the summer, when the weather is nice,” Kurt explains, and Blaine follows him through the gate.
He stops at one of the fruit stands, picking up a nectarine slice from the samples on the paper plate and watches out of the corner of his eye as Blaine picks up a sliver. Blaine asks the young girl who’s with her mom and looks bored out of her mind behind the table a few questions about the different things on the table, what her favorite is, and Kurt picks out a few peaches and nectarines as well as a basket or raspberries. He doesn’t have the patience for a pie, especially with Blaine around, but a crumble would be nice.
He moves on a few stalls down, deciding on a salad with whatever’s fresh, and he’s picking out radishes when Blaine joins him again. “This kind of reminds me of our first date,” he says, pursing his lips and rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands in his pockets.
“Oh, really?” Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow at him over his sunglasses. “No ferris wheel. No prizes to be won. Summer daytime versus spring at night. Veggies and fruit instead of burgers.”
“Alright, alright you made your point. I just thought it was a nice memory triggered by something here and I was sharing. It’s also not a date, I know,” Blaine adds, meeting Kurt’s eye briefly before nodding his head over towards the table of flowers set up next to where they’re standing. He walks closer to Kurt, standing shoulder to shoulder with him and dropping his voice. “If it were a date, I’d buy you flowers though. Those bright orange roses. They’d look nice on your kitchen table.”
Kurt turns his head to face Blaine and their eyes lock again and Kurt almost tells him then and there because he can see it in Blaine’s eyes. He knows Blaine loves him too; he knows Blaine never stopped. His jaw drops, but he can’t get the words out and suddenly -
“That’ll be ten-seventy, sir.” Kurt snaps back to attention and fishes eleven dollars out of his wallet for the woman in front of him, telling her to keep the change.
Kurt also buys two small salmon filets to grill along with the salad, and they’re quiet walking back to the loft. “Are you seriously okay?” Blaine finally asks once they’re in front of the building. “You’re making me a little nervous.” He laughs lightly to break the tension, but stops once he realizes Kurt doesn’t join in.
“You should have bought me flowers.” When Blaine looks at him questioningly, he simply says, "Because I want today to be a date. I want it to be the last first date I ever go on. I want … I want us to try again.”
“I thought …” Blaine’s mouth begins to curl up into a grin, a wave of relief passing over his expression. “I thought you were going to say the opposite of that. Just tell me … why now?”
Kurt hitches his canvas grocery bag higher on his shoulder and reaches out for Blaine’s hand, remembering cool nights in Ohio when he couldn’t dare, needing something to anchor him to Blaine. They let each other go once; he can’t let him go again. “Because you make me want to try. You make me want to keep trying and never stop. I just needed some time to remember that."
Blaine grins wider now, squeezing at Kurt’s hand. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Kurt repeats. Bringing his lips to Blaine’s is like coming home, because the man before him isn’t just his first and his last, but his everything
Rating PG-13
Word Count 3,536
Summary Kurt wonders if Blaine will be his first love, his last love, his only. He knows it’s silly to think that way. You don’t end up with your first love. Life is too complicated for that. But still, everyone hopes, right? Everyone’s silly and young and hopes. - The story of two first dates.
Notes For heidiisdisney at fandomaid. Vague references to 4.14.
Blaine asks Kurt out on their first date hours after their first kiss, back when they’re both at home over hushed conversations on their cell phones. They’re already up far too late for a school night, but they’re overwhelmed with emotion and can’t seem to say goodnight.
“So, since we’ve already been to Breadstix a bunch of times on non-dates, I was thinking we could do something a little more special?” Blaine says, and Kurt can hear the bashful smile in his voice, and god, it doesn’t matter how long it had taken Blaine to come to his senses because he had.
“Go on,” Kurt replies, turning over on his side where he’s situated on his bed. He tucks his free hand under the pillow where it’s nice and cool. He lets it open and close of its own fruition; it still tingles from earlier when Blaine held it as they walked to their cars, from when they kissed and Kurt grasped for something, anything to anchor him since he felt as if he was about to float away at any moment.
“David’s sister’s school is having this carnival thing - kind of like a fair to raise money for their clubs. They do it every year. It’s kind of cheesy, they have games and a ferris wheel and, I don’t know -”
“I’d love to go with you. As a date,” Kurt finally says, cutting off his rambling, even though it is adorable.
Blaine laughs nervously before saying, “Yeah? I’m pretty bad at this romance thing, Kurt, but you make me want to try.”
So on Saturday, after a long morning and afternoon of practicing with the Warblers, Blaine picks Kurt up in his beat up station wagon to drive to Hamilton Day School. Kurt rushes out the front door to meet Blaine in the driveway, wanting to avoid any questions from his dad or Carole or Finn, who are all sort of hovering in the living room inexplicably. He hasn’t told them about him and Blaine yet. He will, but he wants to get through the competition first.
“Hey,” Kurt says as he approaches Blaine standing outside the driver’s side door, and he tugs his scarf a little tighter, hoping he can blame the way his cheeks flush pink when Blaine glances his way on the cool spring breeze. Blaine even looks at him differently now, like he really has been looking for Kurt forever and he’s been here all along.
“Hey,” Blaine returns, his lips curling up into a smile. “You look amazing.”
“I always look amazing,” Kurt counters sharply, but he’s grinning too. “I like this,” he adds softly running a finger over Blaine’s plaid bow tie. He fell hard and fast for a boy in a blazer, but he gets to see Blaine out of it so rarely, whenever he does it’s such a treat. Even now, when they do things after school, they usually don’t bother to change since Warbler practice runs so late.
They talk animatedly on the drive about practice earlier; how they think things are coming together and Kurt’s candid thoughts on whether or not they can beat New Directions. At some point, Blaine reaches across the console for Kurt’s hand, and Kurt lets him take it even if driving one-handed probably isn’t the safest idea. Blaine’s thumb is rubbing circles into his palm as they talk and their fingers are interlaced and Kurt can’t believe how perfectly their hands fit together. Do all hands do that? Surely not. Surely his hand and Blaine’s hand are just a perfect mold. Kurt never wants to let go.
When they arrive at the school, the carnival is bigger than Kurt expected. They really do have a full size ferris wheel, as well as a few other rides and games and food stands. It’s packed, people and kids of all ages buzzing about, and Kurt doesn’t know where to start.
Blaine’s eyes are huge though, almost panicked. “I had no idea there would be this many people. This is the least romantic date ever.”
Kurt just laughs and grabs him by the elbow. “Don’t be silly. It’ll be fun. Come on!”
They wander for a bit, just taking in the sights and whispering comments about what they pass in each other’s ears (“You did just see that, right?” “Leopard print pleather should be outlawed.”) Finally, they end up in the makeshift midway and Kurt asks, “So, are you good at any of these games?”
“Why, are you suggesting I try to win my boyfriend a prize?” Blaine grins at Kurt, whose heart stops beating in his chest because boyfriend. Oh my god. He also apparently stops walking, because Blaine ends up a few paces ahead of him, finally realizing it and turning around and rushing back. “Oh, I mean, I don’t - what was I -”
“No, no -” Kurt blurts out, shaking his head, because he doesn’t want to discourage that. He takes a deep breath and smiles, straightening Blaine’s cardigan out in the shoulders. “I like that idea very much.”
Blaine decides on skee ball, and Kurt also likes that idea, he comes to find out. Blaine passes the guy running it a five dollar bill (presumably someone’s dad), and when his little balls trill out of the machine, he has to keep bending over to send them up the ramp. Which gives Kurt a spectacular view of the incredibly tight jeans Blaine chose to wear today, so much tighter than the Dalton slacks could ever dream of being, the fabric clinging to his thighs and butt.
Kurt’s always been aware of Blaine’s lovely backside, but has never openly stared before, because Blaine was his friend and friends don’t ogle each other. Much. But now that Blaine is his boyfriend, that should be a boyfriend perk, right? Being permitted to stare at it when he keeps shoving it practically in your face?
Kurt finally stops when he feels his cheeks start to flush again, because they are in public and he should probably pay attention to Blaine’s game. Just as he does, Blaine’s next ball makes it in a one hundred point hole and Kurt claps and cheers appropriately. Blaine turns back around and grins proudly at him. At the end of his game, Blaine has enough points for a medium sized stuffed animal, and Kurt tells him to pick something out as a surprise, walking away to see what other games they have.
Kurt’s decided on the balloon darts for his game when Blaine walks over holding a stuffed sheep with a big, fluffy ivory coat and oversized black plastic eyes. “There was only one of him left and he didn’t want to stay with the others,” Blaine explains and Kurt laughs.
“He’s adorable. Come on, now it’s time for me to win something for my boyfriend.”
Kurt ends up hitting four out of his five balloons with the darts. He would have hit all five, but he notices Blaine watching him out of the corner of his eye halfway through. He wonders if Blaine is watching him in the same way he had Blaine earlier. He fumbles on his fourth dart, missing the balloon just barely. In case Blaine is watching him, for his last shot he leans over the counter a little more than usual and sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, focusing all of his concentration on the balloon ahead. The balloon explodes with a pop and Kurt notices Blaine jump out of the corner of his eye, his head jerking up to where the balloon was on the wall.
Kurt smiles secretly to himself as he picks out a brown bunny for Blaine with big floppy ears.
They decide to eat next, and as they’re sitting at a card table with their hamburgers and fries, a group of little kids running past, Blaine says, “I swear our second date will be more romantic. I’ll let you plan it.”
“Hey,” Kurt says, reaching across the table for Blaine’s hand. “Stop that. I told you I’m having fun. So it’s a little chaotic. It doesn’t matter because I’m here with you.”
“Promise?” Blaine asks, and his expression is so hopeful, Kurt wishes they weren’t in public just so he could leap across the table and kiss him.
“Promise,” Kurt repeats, giving his hand a tight squeeze before letting go of it to eat his food.
After they throw away their paper plates, they decide the only ride they definitely have to go on is the ferris wheel. There’s a bit of a line, so they hop in and wait. Hamilton Day is an elementary and middle school, so most of the kids in the line are younger than them, though there are a few teenagers that look their age that must have siblings at the school. The anonymity is nice for a change.
When it’s their turn, they get into the cart and Kurt sits across from Blaine. Blaine’s face falls as they rotate a position to let more people in and Kurt’s brow furrows. “What?” he asks, wondering what he did wrong.
“I just - I was hoping maybe we could sit closer?” He smiles sheepishly at Kurt, and oh.
He relays the sentiment out loud. “Oh. That’s - yeah.” Kurt smiles back, just as bashful, and scoots across to the other side next to him. He’s not sure if he should put his arm around Blaine’s shoulders. He starts to, but thinks against it since people in the other carts could see, and opts instead for taking Blaine’s hand in his again, letting them rest inbetween their laps. Blaine’s smile widens when he does and he squeezes their fingers together. Kurt lets his head drop a little on Blaine’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of him, his hair gel and his soap and whatever fabric softener his mom uses, and it’s amazing how Kurt already associates all of those things with Blaine. Every single one of them.
“And you said tonight wasn’t going to be romantic,” Kurt says softly into the crease of his neck just above his collar.
“You know,” Blaine whispers into his hair, and they’re moving now and it’s still a bit breezy and Kurt almost doesn’t hear him, that’s how quiet it is. “If we’re lucky enough to stop on the very top, no one would be able to see us.”
“Hmmm,” Kurt hums back in response saying nothing else as they circle around slowly, hands still clasped, sides pressed up against each other, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, knee to knee. Kurt feels warm all over from everywhere he’s touching Blaine despite the chill in the air. After two full rotations, somewhere halfway between the bottom and the very top and he asks, “What do you propose we do with those few seconds of privacy if we were to get so lucky?”
“I think I would have to kiss you. Just as a warning.” It’s dark out anyway, and Kurt’s pretty sure the people in the other carts aren’t even paying attention to them. Blaine picks up their still-joined hands and kisses the back of Kurt’s, ducking his head enough so people probably can’t see even if they are looking, just a barely-there brush of his lips.
“Duly noted,” Kurt replies, and his voice cracks. He should be embarrassed, but he’s here with Blaine and he really doesn’t care.
Sure enough, they rotate a quarter of a rotation and slow just as they’re approaching the very top slot, and Blaine shifts, turning his body towards Kurt’s. Blaine gave him the warning, Kurt knows he should be expecting it, but he’s still not. Kurt wonders when he’ll ever get used to Blaine’s lips warm against his, even with the night air so cool, the light pressure that makes his heart feel like it’s about to leap out of his chest, the soft slide back and forth that keeps getting even more perfect each time they do this. It’s just a few seconds before they start moving again, and once they jolt to motion, Kurt breaks the kiss and ducks, wondering if Blaine can see his smile in the dark.
He must, because Kurt can see his too.
They rotate around twice more in silence before they stop at the bottom and walk around the ride section a little closer than they had before, shoulders and hands brushing with each step. They decide they’re too old for all of the other rides, and opt for hot chocolate instead. They drink it on the way to Blaine’s station wagon, parked far out in the grass away from the carnival, talking in hushed tones along the way with their prizes tucked under their arms.
The radio plays quietly on the ride back to Kurt’s house and Kurt hums along as he continues drinking his hot chocolate. They pull up to his house, and the latest Katy Perry song comes on, ‘ET,’ which Kurt isn’t a huge fan of, but he’s not a huge Katy Perry fan to begin with (even if he did fall in love at first sight with Blaine singing one of her songs).
“Your touch magnetizing, feels like I am floating, leaves my body glowing,” Blaine sings, and Kurt doesn’t even care how awful the song is, because Blaine is looking at him while he’s singing it. But suddenly, he abruptly stops singing as he shuts off the radio and sighs. “Man, that song sucks, even if the lyrics are kind of true, because god, Kurt -”
Kurt sets down his hot chocolate in the cupholder and launches himself across the center console to kiss Blaine, which he’s not expecting from the way he squeaks when their lips finally hit each other. Blaine’s mouth is still warm and chocolate-flavored and with no radio playing in the background, their heavy breathing sounds amplified to Kurt’s ears. Somehow, his hand ends up cupping Blaine’s cheek as their lips glide against each other and Blaine’s fingers tangle in his scarf, and Kurt whispers, “Oh,” with one last kiss before they break.
Blaine’s breath is stuttering as Kurt whispers again. “I had a really nice time tonight. Promise.” Kurt leans back across the console, where he hopes he can think a little more clearly, picking up his hot chocolate on the way. “Call me when you get home?” he asks softly as he pops open the door, and Blaine nods.
“I had a nice time tonight too, you know,” Blaine calls out his rolled down window, and Kurt flutters his fingers at him as he walks up to the door.
“Where were you? Out with Blaine?” Burt asks from his chair when Kurt walks in, and Kurt answers, “Yeah,” his smile a little too bright for just a friendly visit, he knows. Burt eyes him curiously, but if he suspects anything, lets it slide as Kurt passes by, rushing upstairs.
Kurt unwinds his scarf and sets it on his bed, wondering if Blaine will be his first love, his last love, his only. He knows it’s silly to think that way. You don’t end up with your first love. Life is too complicated for that. But still, everyone hopes, right? Everyone’s silly and young and hopes.
He throws himself backwards on the bed, legs still dangling over the side, closes his eyes tight and hopes.
***
Kurt's not sure when the shift happens, the shift from being unsure to knowing and being absolutely terrified to finally realizing he can't live another day without telling him.
It’s early summer, and Blaine’s in the city to take care of some paperwork at NYADA and look at apartments for him and Sam for next fall. Rachel and Santana are off visiting Quinn, and Kurt expects Rachel back as soon as she realizes she’s turned into the third wheel (unless … she’s not. Kurt can’t think too hard about that.). Kurt expects to see Blaine at some point. He asked if he could make him dinner, and he figures he’ll run to the market up the street that’s open on weekends, locals who set up makeshift tables and their wares and pick up some fresh things, maybe some flowers.
He doesn’t expect to run into Blaine in the hall on the way out.
“Oh! Hi, I thought -”
“Later, I know,” Blaine says awkwardly, setting his bag on the floor and pulling Kurt into a hug. “I got done early and thought I’d surprise you.”
“You always do,” Kurt replies softly before pulling back and picking up his things for him. “I was just about to go shopping for food for supper, did you want to come? We can drop off your things upstairs first?”
“Oh!” Blaine’s expression is a little surprised, as if he wasn’t sure Kurt was actually going to cook for him or this was going to turn into another time where they’d end up in a bed, on the floor, in a back seat, just as friends. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.”
Kurt can tell he’s making Blaine nervous with his sudden urge to get out of the apartment, but he tries to act normal, asking Blaine about his morning at NYADA and the apartments he looked at. When they arrive at the market Kurt suggested, it’s not much, just a dozen or so vendors set up behind the fence, flags and signs decorating it. “They do this most weekends during the summer, when the weather is nice,” Kurt explains, and Blaine follows him through the gate.
He stops at one of the fruit stands, picking up a nectarine slice from the samples on the paper plate and watches out of the corner of his eye as Blaine picks up a sliver. Blaine asks the young girl who’s with her mom and looks bored out of her mind behind the table a few questions about the different things on the table, what her favorite is, and Kurt picks out a few peaches and nectarines as well as a basket or raspberries. He doesn’t have the patience for a pie, especially with Blaine around, but a crumble would be nice.
He moves on a few stalls down, deciding on a salad with whatever’s fresh, and he’s picking out radishes when Blaine joins him again. “This kind of reminds me of our first date,” he says, pursing his lips and rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands in his pockets.
“Oh, really?” Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow at him over his sunglasses. “No ferris wheel. No prizes to be won. Summer daytime versus spring at night. Veggies and fruit instead of burgers.”
“Alright, alright you made your point. I just thought it was a nice memory triggered by something here and I was sharing. It’s also not a date, I know,” Blaine adds, meeting Kurt’s eye briefly before nodding his head over towards the table of flowers set up next to where they’re standing. He walks closer to Kurt, standing shoulder to shoulder with him and dropping his voice. “If it were a date, I’d buy you flowers though. Those bright orange roses. They’d look nice on your kitchen table.”
Kurt turns his head to face Blaine and their eyes lock again and Kurt almost tells him then and there because he can see it in Blaine’s eyes. He knows Blaine loves him too; he knows Blaine never stopped. His jaw drops, but he can’t get the words out and suddenly -
“That’ll be ten-seventy, sir.” Kurt snaps back to attention and fishes eleven dollars out of his wallet for the woman in front of him, telling her to keep the change.
Kurt also buys two small salmon filets to grill along with the salad, and they’re quiet walking back to the loft. “Are you seriously okay?” Blaine finally asks once they’re in front of the building. “You’re making me a little nervous.” He laughs lightly to break the tension, but stops once he realizes Kurt doesn’t join in.
“You should have bought me flowers.” When Blaine looks at him questioningly, he simply says, "Because I want today to be a date. I want it to be the last first date I ever go on. I want … I want us to try again.”
“I thought …” Blaine’s mouth begins to curl up into a grin, a wave of relief passing over his expression. “I thought you were going to say the opposite of that. Just tell me … why now?”
Kurt hitches his canvas grocery bag higher on his shoulder and reaches out for Blaine’s hand, remembering cool nights in Ohio when he couldn’t dare, needing something to anchor him to Blaine. They let each other go once; he can’t let him go again. “Because you make me want to try. You make me want to keep trying and never stop. I just needed some time to remember that."
Blaine grins wider now, squeezing at Kurt’s hand. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Kurt repeats. Bringing his lips to Blaine’s is like coming home, because the man before him isn’t just his first and his last, but his everything