Improper Bostonian
So, I was on the T this morning, and the guy across from me
was reading the Improper Bostonian, and who's on the cover, but
the one and only B.J. Novak!
I picked up a copy during lunch, and since it's slow here today, I
typed up the interview behind the cut. No scans, unfortunately, but
you can see the cover at the
magazine's website.
Actor/writer/comedian B.J. Novak, 27, was born and raised in
Newton and graduated from Newton South High with his castmate on NBC's
hit adaptation of the English comedy The Office, John
Krasinski. Novak earned a degree in English and Spanish literature
from Harvard before launching a career as a stand-up comic. He has
appeared on Late Night With Conan O'Brien and Comedy
Central's Premium Blend, and he continues to perform at clubs. Named
one of Variety's 10 Comics to Watch in 2003, he was the lead
accomplice on the second season of Ashton Kutcher's prank series,
MTV's Punk'd, where he played elaborate practical jokes on
the likes of Usher, Mya, and Jaime Pressley. A supervising producer
for The Office, he plays Ryan, the reluctant temp-turned-employee, and
has written several of its most memorable episodes. His work on the
series has earned him a Writer's Guild Award for best comedy series as
well as three other WGA nominations and a Screen Actors Guild Award
for best ensemble cast. This spring, he makes his feature film debut
opposite Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle in Reign Over Me and
appears in Knocked Up, director Judd Apatow's follow-up to
The 40 Year Old Virgin. Novak lives in LA.
Jonathan Soroff: Ok, if I can ask you to put
on your wiseass hat, I've got my Martini ready, so we can begin...
B.J Novak.: Well, I'm driving so my martini is in
the cup holder.
JS: Glad to see you're taking both highway
safety and this interview so seriously. OK, first of all, what does
B.J. mean to you?
BJN: It stands for honesty, thoughtful
entertainment and respect for the audience.
JS: Well, at exactly which point would one gag?
BJN: Question three in this interview.
JS: Alright, I'll get off the B.J. I
understand that you once wreaked havoc at the Museum of Fine Arts?
BJN: I did. With some friends, I replaced
the audio tour of a Chinese art exhibit with my own commentary. It
implored museum patrons to remove the glass from works of art and get
high on the paint fumes, do the hokey-pokey, and I eventually cursed
them out in very graphic language for not understanding the art. You
want your museum-going experience to be transformative, and I think I
did a performance art that rivaled the exhibit.
JS: What are the odds that two high school
friends end up on the same TV show?
BJN: It's too weird for me to even contemplate.
It sounds so crazy-unlikely.
JS: Maybe you two should come back to
Massachusetts and get married.
BJN: Oh, we'll be in the same retirement
home. I'm sure we'll be in a three-person marriage. There's no
escaping that guy... Good thing he's funny.
JS: You really know how to work the red
carpet. What are your secrets?
BJN: Umm, don't wear red. You'll clash. Keep
walking in the same direction; don't walk back and forth. No need to
say "Cheese" for the camera. Oh, and Joan is the old one, Melissa is
the young one. Don't make the same mistake I did and call Melissa
"Joan".
JS: Are those your real eyes or are they blue
contact lenses?
BJN: Are you coming on to me? It makes sense with
your first few questions.
JS: I might be, but answer the question: Are
they blue contact lenses?
BJN: I wear red contact lenses to mask how
blue they are. My natural eyes would burn a hole through the TV lens.
JS: Is Bob Saget really your best friend?
BJN: He's a friend of mine.
JS: But not your best?
BJN: I stopped ranking my friends when I was
around 24.
JS: Most excruciating moment on the show that
you had to act?
BJN: One time I had to look mildly surprised when
I was actually moderately surprised. That was a pretty big stretch.
JS: Well, we all know how expressive you are
with your eyes from that appearance on Leno. You had Helen Mirren
wetting herself.
BJN: Yes, I think it's clear who the better
actor is. She gets all the roles that I turn down.
JS: So you were asked to play the queen?
BJN: Yeah, I turned it down, and now that she has
all those nominations I'm kicking myself. I've been dreaming of a
best-actress Oscar since I was a little kid.
JS: What would you say in your acceptance speech?
BJN: How you like me now, Helen?
JS: Worst job you ever had?
BJN: Krasinski and I both worked at Cafe Lampara
in Newton the summer after our senior year in high school. He worked
the takeout counter and I was a line cook. I didn't speak any
Portugese and he didn't need to. He got to interact with people he
could have conversations with. I just learned a lot of Brazilian curse
words.
JS: Did you ever actually temp?
BJN: I did. I sat behind a reception desk
for eight hours a day. No one said a word to me, and I had to copy a
phone book manually into a database. I said, "Don't you think we
should get a scanner?" and all I got was a shrug. I lasted two weeks.
JS: Exactly what does Steve Carell smell like?
BJN: Lysol.
JS: What's more fun, writing or acting?
BJN: Acting gets me more attention. I laugh more
when I'm writing.
JS: Funny or not funny: knock-knock jokes
involving dwarves?
BJN: Not funny. Deeply offensive.
JS: Some of your best friends are dwarves?
BJN: All of my best friends are dwarves, with the
exception of Bob Saget.
JS: OK, let's play gay or Canadian: Michael Feinstein?
BJN: Isn't there a middle ground? Like
Nordic-American?
JS: No. How about Lance Bass?
BJN: As a half-Canadian myself, I feel there's
something wrong about speculating on one's Canadian-ness. It goes
against my ethnicity.
JS: So is asking about Charo out of the question?
BJN: Yes, it is. Again, deeply offensive. I'm not
easily offended, and I've been deeply offended twice during this
interview.
JS: This is going to be a bit like
interviewing Robert DeNiro.
BJN: This interview's going to be a bombshell!
Boston will never be the same.
JS: Let's play "Odds out of Vegas." What do
you think O.J. Simpson's chances are at a career comeback?
BJN: It all depends. He's had several careers.
Football? Odds are low. But I think it's quite possible that he could
be a celebrity defendant again. I'll take 3 to 2 on that one.
JS: One reality show you'd like to be on?
BJN: It's Good to Be... I'd love to be on that.
JS: That's the most conceited thing I've ever
heard.
BJN: [Laughs.] Well, realistically, there are
very few reality shows one can hope to be on one day.
JS: One member of the Love Boat cast
you'd most like to get shipwrecked with?
BJN: Do they have to be Canadian?
JS: No. I'd pick Isaac the bartender. I think
you need to bone up on your crappy Aaron Spelling TV shows.
BJN: Newton South kids have to do their homework,
unlike Beaver Country Day kids who can just watch the Love Boat all
night.
JS: Don't be disrespecting my alma mater.
BJN: I'm sorry. But I don't remember what trash I
watched. I know I watched a lot.
JS: You were too stoned to remember.
BJN: You said it, not me.
JS: So what is it about Boston that produces
so many funny people?
BJN: I think there's a lot of intelligence in the
air. Everyone on the T is reading a book or newspaper. There are a lot
of smartasses. And maybe some of that Irish influence. There's a lot
of wit, and you just kind of soak it up.
JS: Last question: Fill in the blank. The
next time I'm in Newton, the very first thing I'm going to do is
_____________.
BJN: Get a ride from Holden's Taxi and hold on
for dear life.
was reading the Improper Bostonian, and who's on the cover, but
the one and only B.J. Novak!
I picked up a copy during lunch, and since it's slow here today, I
typed up the interview behind the cut. No scans, unfortunately, but
you can see the cover at the
magazine's website.
Actor/writer/comedian B.J. Novak, 27, was born and raised in
Newton and graduated from Newton South High with his castmate on NBC's
hit adaptation of the English comedy The Office, John
Krasinski. Novak earned a degree in English and Spanish literature
from Harvard before launching a career as a stand-up comic. He has
appeared on Late Night With Conan O'Brien and Comedy
Central's Premium Blend, and he continues to perform at clubs. Named
one of Variety's 10 Comics to Watch in 2003, he was the lead
accomplice on the second season of Ashton Kutcher's prank series,
MTV's Punk'd, where he played elaborate practical jokes on
the likes of Usher, Mya, and Jaime Pressley. A supervising producer
for The Office, he plays Ryan, the reluctant temp-turned-employee, and
has written several of its most memorable episodes. His work on the
series has earned him a Writer's Guild Award for best comedy series as
well as three other WGA nominations and a Screen Actors Guild Award
for best ensemble cast. This spring, he makes his feature film debut
opposite Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle in Reign Over Me and
appears in Knocked Up, director Judd Apatow's follow-up to
The 40 Year Old Virgin. Novak lives in LA.
Jonathan Soroff: Ok, if I can ask you to put
on your wiseass hat, I've got my Martini ready, so we can begin...
B.J Novak.: Well, I'm driving so my martini is in
the cup holder.
JS: Glad to see you're taking both highway
safety and this interview so seriously. OK, first of all, what does
B.J. mean to you?
BJN: It stands for honesty, thoughtful
entertainment and respect for the audience.
JS: Well, at exactly which point would one gag?
BJN: Question three in this interview.
JS: Alright, I'll get off the B.J. I
understand that you once wreaked havoc at the Museum of Fine Arts?
BJN: I did. With some friends, I replaced
the audio tour of a Chinese art exhibit with my own commentary. It
implored museum patrons to remove the glass from works of art and get
high on the paint fumes, do the hokey-pokey, and I eventually cursed
them out in very graphic language for not understanding the art. You
want your museum-going experience to be transformative, and I think I
did a performance art that rivaled the exhibit.
JS: What are the odds that two high school
friends end up on the same TV show?
BJN: It's too weird for me to even contemplate.
It sounds so crazy-unlikely.
JS: Maybe you two should come back to
Massachusetts and get married.
BJN: Oh, we'll be in the same retirement
home. I'm sure we'll be in a three-person marriage. There's no
escaping that guy... Good thing he's funny.
JS: You really know how to work the red
carpet. What are your secrets?
BJN: Umm, don't wear red. You'll clash. Keep
walking in the same direction; don't walk back and forth. No need to
say "Cheese" for the camera. Oh, and Joan is the old one, Melissa is
the young one. Don't make the same mistake I did and call Melissa
"Joan".
JS: Are those your real eyes or are they blue
contact lenses?
BJN: Are you coming on to me? It makes sense with
your first few questions.
JS: I might be, but answer the question: Are
they blue contact lenses?
BJN: I wear red contact lenses to mask how
blue they are. My natural eyes would burn a hole through the TV lens.
JS: Is Bob Saget really your best friend?
BJN: He's a friend of mine.
JS: But not your best?
BJN: I stopped ranking my friends when I was
around 24.
JS: Most excruciating moment on the show that
you had to act?
BJN: One time I had to look mildly surprised when
I was actually moderately surprised. That was a pretty big stretch.
JS: Well, we all know how expressive you are
with your eyes from that appearance on Leno. You had Helen Mirren
wetting herself.
BJN: Yes, I think it's clear who the better
actor is. She gets all the roles that I turn down.
JS: So you were asked to play the queen?
BJN: Yeah, I turned it down, and now that she has
all those nominations I'm kicking myself. I've been dreaming of a
best-actress Oscar since I was a little kid.
JS: What would you say in your acceptance speech?
BJN: How you like me now, Helen?
JS: Worst job you ever had?
BJN: Krasinski and I both worked at Cafe Lampara
in Newton the summer after our senior year in high school. He worked
the takeout counter and I was a line cook. I didn't speak any
Portugese and he didn't need to. He got to interact with people he
could have conversations with. I just learned a lot of Brazilian curse
words.
JS: Did you ever actually temp?
BJN: I did. I sat behind a reception desk
for eight hours a day. No one said a word to me, and I had to copy a
phone book manually into a database. I said, "Don't you think we
should get a scanner?" and all I got was a shrug. I lasted two weeks.
JS: Exactly what does Steve Carell smell like?
BJN: Lysol.
JS: What's more fun, writing or acting?
BJN: Acting gets me more attention. I laugh more
when I'm writing.
JS: Funny or not funny: knock-knock jokes
involving dwarves?
BJN: Not funny. Deeply offensive.
JS: Some of your best friends are dwarves?
BJN: All of my best friends are dwarves, with the
exception of Bob Saget.
JS: OK, let's play gay or Canadian: Michael Feinstein?
BJN: Isn't there a middle ground? Like
Nordic-American?
JS: No. How about Lance Bass?
BJN: As a half-Canadian myself, I feel there's
something wrong about speculating on one's Canadian-ness. It goes
against my ethnicity.
JS: So is asking about Charo out of the question?
BJN: Yes, it is. Again, deeply offensive. I'm not
easily offended, and I've been deeply offended twice during this
interview.
JS: This is going to be a bit like
interviewing Robert DeNiro.
BJN: This interview's going to be a bombshell!
Boston will never be the same.
JS: Let's play "Odds out of Vegas." What do
you think O.J. Simpson's chances are at a career comeback?
BJN: It all depends. He's had several careers.
Football? Odds are low. But I think it's quite possible that he could
be a celebrity defendant again. I'll take 3 to 2 on that one.
JS: One reality show you'd like to be on?
BJN: It's Good to Be... I'd love to be on that.
JS: That's the most conceited thing I've ever
heard.
BJN: [Laughs.] Well, realistically, there are
very few reality shows one can hope to be on one day.
JS: One member of the Love Boat cast
you'd most like to get shipwrecked with?
BJN: Do they have to be Canadian?
JS: No. I'd pick Isaac the bartender. I think
you need to bone up on your crappy Aaron Spelling TV shows.
BJN: Newton South kids have to do their homework,
unlike Beaver Country Day kids who can just watch the Love Boat all
night.
JS: Don't be disrespecting my alma mater.
BJN: I'm sorry. But I don't remember what trash I
watched. I know I watched a lot.
JS: You were too stoned to remember.
BJN: You said it, not me.
JS: So what is it about Boston that produces
so many funny people?
BJN: I think there's a lot of intelligence in the
air. Everyone on the T is reading a book or newspaper. There are a lot
of smartasses. And maybe some of that Irish influence. There's a lot
of wit, and you just kind of soak it up.
JS: Last question: Fill in the blank. The
next time I'm in Newton, the very first thing I'm going to do is
_____________.
BJN: Get a ride from Holden's Taxi and hold on
for dear life.