Comments | thenodrin: I Don't Think This'll Make The Book

thenodrin

I Don't Think This'll Make The Book

Oct 30, 2008 11:24

We were caught ( Read more... )

Comments 5

sasseyfrass October 30 2008, 19:26:45 UTC

I liked it. I think it would be a good story by the demons/devils if we have room.

I did have a couple of minor questions:

1. Near the end where janis screams at the door

You bastard," she screamed. "Get your hands off of her you total, heartless bastard!"

Is that supposed to be get off of him? not her? or is it forshadowing that she knows he is on the demon?

2. If this is the Lumberjack from the campaign book, he is from Canada, not Michigan. Not that it matters much for the storyline.

thenodrin October 30 2008, 20:19:45 UTC

1. It is supposed to indicate that Janis recognized a particular scream.

2. I haven't decided who he is. Probably not him.

Theno

jodidiva October 31 2008, 02:06:01 UTC

Pre-WWI, women would wear mascara only on the stage, or if they were streetwalkers. It was cake mascara and tricky to apply, and never stayed put. It's anachronistic for Janis to wear it. I'm just sayin'.

thenodrin October 31 2008, 02:33:11 UTC

I did not know that. I'll change it.

Theno

sasseyfrass November 2 2008, 14:58:46 UTC

You know, I thought of that too and was going to go research it and get back to you, but I fogot :) Glad jodidiva is on top of stuff :)