Fic/One-shot: Gone
Title: Gone
Author: Rei
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Characters: Ten.2, Rose (don’t kill me yet!), mentions of Donna and Ten.
Summary: He can’t feel her in his mind anymore, and he’ll never be sure why.
A little take on what’s happened to our Handy while the Doctor takes Donna away from the universe.
Warning: Sadnessss.
Spoilers: Journey’s End
Words: 929
Disclaimer: “Does it need saying?”
A/N: Trust me, parts of my soul died while writing this, too. And really, I don’t know how the writer’s thought sticking Handy with Rose would work, cause I can’t see it happening.
The TARDIS fades away as its sends gusts of wind past the Doctor and Rose. He slips his hand into hers and they exchange a look.
“Well then,” he tries to start after a few seconds of silence. She gives him a sad smile while looking into the eyes that seem so new to her, even though she’s been seeing them for so long.
They go up onto the dry sand to sit and talk while watching the tranquil tides and the gray sky meet at the horizon. He sits with his legs crossed and leans against his two hands, one of them atop Rose’s.
“I should probably get a job,” he says as he ponders. “I’ll be a doctor and double as an undercover spy… fitting, no?”
Rose chuckles as she taps her head on his arm. “Of course.”
“Oh but wait, I’ll actually have to go to school for all that… but I know everything already! You don’t suppose you’ve got psychic paper on you? And not just that tiny piece of thing you’ve used so often, more like, you know, big enough to fake a diploma or something?”
“No,” she shakes her head and smiles. “I don’t see how the two of you are so different-you babble a whole lot the same.”
The Doctor turns his head to her and his smile drops a bit. It’s going to be a while before she stops comparing the Doctor Double and the real Doctor. It’s probably going to be much longer before she stops thinking of them as two different people. They aren’t two different people. They have the same mind, same memories, same feelings; just a different amount of time they’ve physically existed. That shouldn’t have to matter, not to Rose, not to the person he was giving up his one and only human life for.
“Yeah,” is all he says back to her.
She notices his abrupt drop of mood and she realizes why. “I’m sorry… this just… I need some time.”
The Doctor is used to giving time, but suddenly the fact that he’s only got one heart and one life left changes that. He gives her a pitiful smile and says “I know.”
He holds her hand a little tighter, trying to give himself the hope that this all will turn out fine, that he’s here for something and that they both will learn to love each other and they can grow old and gray with one another. He can’t imagine what he’s going to do if the only reason he’s stuck here is for someone who doesn’t want him here, for someone who’d much rather have someone else instead.
He wouldn’t be able to turn back, this was his only road; no u-turns allowed. He wasn’t going to tear the universe open just to escape, either.
Right now he wishes he had stayed on the other side instead, and the ‘real Doctor’ took his place. Rose would be much happier, and so would he. He wishes that he’d have someone else right now, someone who didn’t treat him any more different than the ‘real Doctor.’ Donna definitely didn’t.
Donna.
Something in his mind breaks, as if a part of it has been blocked and blacked out. He can’t feel her in his mind.
“Doctor, what’s wrong?” Rose asks with concern as she notices his brows furrow into confusion.
The Doctor sits up straight and holds at his head, not knowing what’s happening. It’s all just going away, every trace of Donna is disappearing, her voice, her thoughts, all that’s being left is the fact that he knows her.
He starts to feel pain.
I want to stay.
“Doctor, really, what’s going on?” Rose becomes frantic as the Doctor stands up, pacing around and holding at his head and wincing at the sudden flares of agony.
I was going to be with you forever.
“It’s Donna,” he desperately taps at his temples with his fingers to keep his connection with her. But it’s slipping and he feels her fading and he feels her burning and he feels her dying.
He feels nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Tears of frustration fill to the brim of his eyes, his fingers clenched onto his scalp through his tousled hair. His single heart beats in denial and weighs him down and he doesn’t even know what’s just happened.
“She’s gone.”
“What do you mean gone? She was just here-“
“He just let her go,” he says as he turns to her. Now is the moment he wouldn’t dare being nearly the same person as the Doctor. “He just let her go and she’s gone, Rose. This is who you want me to be-the person who just lets people go, and-“ He turns back around, his hands plastered to his head.
Rose stands there with watered eyes, but nothing to say, and she doesn’t say a thing as he shakes his head in his hands and sits back onto the sand.
Never mind what he is, she reasons. He does need her, but for entirely different reasons, a reason newly created. She kneels by him and holds him to her, not saying a word cause god knows she’ll make it worse. She wasn’t one to comfort with words, either.
This was worse than seeing her die. Feeling her die. Not being able to do zip about it. Whether she was really dead or not, he’d never know. That’s the one thing he would never be able to stand.
He’ll spend the rest of his bloody human life not ever knowing.
End.
Bleh.
Author: Rei
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Characters: Ten.2, Rose (don’t kill me yet!), mentions of Donna and Ten.
Summary: He can’t feel her in his mind anymore, and he’ll never be sure why.
A little take on what’s happened to our Handy while the Doctor takes Donna away from the universe.
Warning: Sadnessss.
Spoilers: Journey’s End
Words: 929
Disclaimer: “Does it need saying?”
A/N: Trust me, parts of my soul died while writing this, too. And really, I don’t know how the writer’s thought sticking Handy with Rose would work, cause I can’t see it happening.
The TARDIS fades away as its sends gusts of wind past the Doctor and Rose. He slips his hand into hers and they exchange a look.
“Well then,” he tries to start after a few seconds of silence. She gives him a sad smile while looking into the eyes that seem so new to her, even though she’s been seeing them for so long.
They go up onto the dry sand to sit and talk while watching the tranquil tides and the gray sky meet at the horizon. He sits with his legs crossed and leans against his two hands, one of them atop Rose’s.
“I should probably get a job,” he says as he ponders. “I’ll be a doctor and double as an undercover spy… fitting, no?”
Rose chuckles as she taps her head on his arm. “Of course.”
“Oh but wait, I’ll actually have to go to school for all that… but I know everything already! You don’t suppose you’ve got psychic paper on you? And not just that tiny piece of thing you’ve used so often, more like, you know, big enough to fake a diploma or something?”
“No,” she shakes her head and smiles. “I don’t see how the two of you are so different-you babble a whole lot the same.”
The Doctor turns his head to her and his smile drops a bit. It’s going to be a while before she stops comparing the Doctor Double and the real Doctor. It’s probably going to be much longer before she stops thinking of them as two different people. They aren’t two different people. They have the same mind, same memories, same feelings; just a different amount of time they’ve physically existed. That shouldn’t have to matter, not to Rose, not to the person he was giving up his one and only human life for.
“Yeah,” is all he says back to her.
She notices his abrupt drop of mood and she realizes why. “I’m sorry… this just… I need some time.”
The Doctor is used to giving time, but suddenly the fact that he’s only got one heart and one life left changes that. He gives her a pitiful smile and says “I know.”
He holds her hand a little tighter, trying to give himself the hope that this all will turn out fine, that he’s here for something and that they both will learn to love each other and they can grow old and gray with one another. He can’t imagine what he’s going to do if the only reason he’s stuck here is for someone who doesn’t want him here, for someone who’d much rather have someone else instead.
He wouldn’t be able to turn back, this was his only road; no u-turns allowed. He wasn’t going to tear the universe open just to escape, either.
Right now he wishes he had stayed on the other side instead, and the ‘real Doctor’ took his place. Rose would be much happier, and so would he. He wishes that he’d have someone else right now, someone who didn’t treat him any more different than the ‘real Doctor.’ Donna definitely didn’t.
Donna.
Something in his mind breaks, as if a part of it has been blocked and blacked out. He can’t feel her in his mind.
“Doctor, what’s wrong?” Rose asks with concern as she notices his brows furrow into confusion.
The Doctor sits up straight and holds at his head, not knowing what’s happening. It’s all just going away, every trace of Donna is disappearing, her voice, her thoughts, all that’s being left is the fact that he knows her.
He starts to feel pain.
I want to stay.
“Doctor, really, what’s going on?” Rose becomes frantic as the Doctor stands up, pacing around and holding at his head and wincing at the sudden flares of agony.
I was going to be with you forever.
“It’s Donna,” he desperately taps at his temples with his fingers to keep his connection with her. But it’s slipping and he feels her fading and he feels her burning and he feels her dying.
He feels nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Tears of frustration fill to the brim of his eyes, his fingers clenched onto his scalp through his tousled hair. His single heart beats in denial and weighs him down and he doesn’t even know what’s just happened.
“She’s gone.”
“What do you mean gone? She was just here-“
“He just let her go,” he says as he turns to her. Now is the moment he wouldn’t dare being nearly the same person as the Doctor. “He just let her go and she’s gone, Rose. This is who you want me to be-the person who just lets people go, and-“ He turns back around, his hands plastered to his head.
Rose stands there with watered eyes, but nothing to say, and she doesn’t say a thing as he shakes his head in his hands and sits back onto the sand.
Never mind what he is, she reasons. He does need her, but for entirely different reasons, a reason newly created. She kneels by him and holds him to her, not saying a word cause god knows she’ll make it worse. She wasn’t one to comfort with words, either.
This was worse than seeing her die. Feeling her die. Not being able to do zip about it. Whether she was really dead or not, he’d never know. That’s the one thing he would never be able to stand.
He’ll spend the rest of his bloody human life not ever knowing.
End.
Bleh.