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Get a grip New England. I can't believe what a tease the weather has been. it borders on cruelty, really, if we're being honest. After being cold for so long, all it took was a bit of warm weather for me to realize that I've been scarcely breathing for the past few months. My lungs felt rigid, and there is still something icy about the way I feel
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memory can be devastating if it's a place we go too often & stay too long. it makes the 'now' feel less real than the remappings of 'then'--but linear time is a lie. in which case, all i can say is: i loved you then without any clue as to how i could be here & love you more & yet i do. it's sometimes the only thing that i hold to be 'true' in the sense that if me standing here is a fact, then so is my love for you--and i hope it outlives me. in fact, it might have to in order to thank you. i do intend to thank you--it will be the best poem i never write bc i'd never finish if i ever began.
wouldn't it be nice if we could hug those people 'then' as a way of apologizing for 'now'? wouldn't it be nice if guilt was a myth & we tore it all down?
let's hold out for green & let the finicky sun inside in the meantime.
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