for every year you've lived (i'll kiss you a thousand times)
Title: for every year you've lived (i'll kiss you a thousand times)
Pairing: Kyung/Taewoon (Woo Jiseok)
Group: Block B/SPEED
Rating: PG13
WARNING: Mentions of plastic surgery
Notes: I WAS IN THE MIDDLE-- LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE-- OF WRITING SOMETHING ELSE when I was like heyy let's write this pairing again because why not. Another month, another Kyungwoon fic. I am going to say right now that my feelings on plastic surgery are very mixed. On the one hand, I think it's a way for someone who is deeply troubled about their appearance to remedy certain things about themselves and gain self-acceptance, which I think is great and obviously a very personal decision. On the other hand, I feel like South Korean society (like many others) places a great deal of emphasis on certain standards of physical beauty and this can lead to pressure for people who do not fit those standards (and even those that do) to change their looks in order to fit in. So I guess it's really not plastic surgery I have a problem with, but society making it hard for people to accept themselves as they are.
Summary: Kyung shows up on his doorstep after weeks of no contact and Jiseok feels helpless.
When Kyung decides to go through with the surgery on his jaw, he doesn't tell Jiseok until it's already done.
It's not as though Jiseok would stop him, though he loved the sharp jut of the bone, how Kyung would clench his teeth while he was thinking and it would fall into relief on his neck, the way it made Kyung's cheekbones seem higher. He loves all of Kyung's face, the thin skin over his dark circles, the smooth skin that he still gets acne on occasionally, and his big eyes that he does something with that makes Jiseok comply with every one of Kyung's commands.
(He loves all of Kyung's body, too, but it would take a lot longer to list everything involved there, not to mention all the personality qualities he should find annoying but make him smile despite himself.)
But he knows for a long time Kyung hasn't been happy with it, doesn't like it when Jiseok traces over his jawline with one finger or kisses just under his ear where the jaw curved up. He always used to do it in the beginning, when Kyung scrunching up his face and trying to wriggle away made him laugh and try to kiss it again, until he realized that Kyung never laughed about it.
He never asked about it; every time he tried to bring it up the words would get caught in his throat and he'd just stare at Kyung dumbly for a few seconds. The desire to know why he's hated it so much is strong, almost sickening, because Jiseok loves it and if someone else made Kyung hate it, he wants to track them down and make them pay (by apologizing, he really isn't that good at actual threats).
It takes him a while to realize that maybe it's not because of someone else, maybe it has nothing to do with someone's words or actions and no one, not even his, words or actions can make it better.
So when there's a knock on his door late in the afternoon, and he opens it to see Kyung, puffy-faced and tilting on his feet like he's about to fall over, there's not much else he can do but take him gently by the shoulders and pull him out of the cold. There are bandages underneath the huge scarf he's wrapped around his lower face and the sight of them is like being punched in the stomach.
"Did someone hurt you?" Jiseok asks, voice trembling. The scarf slips to the floor and Kyung is looking up at him without a word. His big eyes are wide and sleepy, unfocused so much they barely seem to catch on Jiseok's face.
He wants to call Jiho, because there's no way his brother doesn't know something, but Kyung just shakes his head slowly. Then his eyes pinch in pain and he stops, going still. Jiseok wants to cup his face in his hands, but is afraid of making it worse.
With a soft thump, Kyung falls further into his embrace, until his hair is brushing under Jiseok's chin. His arms slip around Jiseok's waist, and his hold makes Jiseok feel like crying, the heat of tears prickling at his eyes.
They stand there for a long moment, Jiseok's arms hooked lightly around Kyung's shoulders like he's afraid he'll crush Kyung if he moves closer. His mind has slipped from the panic and it makes sense, he's seen it before, and now he knows why he hasn't heard from Kyung in over a week.
He must have been in the hospital, probably alone. Jiseok bites his lip hard, trying to force the image away. He wishes Kyung would have told him. He would have been there.
With one hand, he carefully brushes over the back of Kyung's head, but he isn't sure what's safe. So instead he cups his hands over Kyung's shoulders, slides them over his back in soothing circles. Kyung makes a small, soft noise, forehead digging further into Jiseok's chest. It's enough for Jiseok to focus on, that insistent nudge, while he tries to calm down again.
There are too many emotions yanking at his heart, sadness and anger and that strange, overwhelming protectiveness he's always held for Kyung. He wants to make Kyung feel better, wants to help him, but he isn't sure how.
Dipping his head down next to Kyung's, he whispers, "Do you want to lie down?"
Kyung can barely nod, but his hands grip tighter into Jiseok's sweater, so he takes it for a yes.
He should help Kyung walk over to his room, but the thought of his wobbling steps into the apartment is enough for Jiseok to bend down suddenly and scoop him up. Kyung has always been tiny, and he feels even more so now, his thin legs wrapping around Jiseok's waist. Just the press of his warm chest against Jiseok's is enough to calm him slightly, his hot breath fanning over Jiseok's neck enough to remind him that Kyung is here, and alright.
Jiseok walks them both over into his room, and places Kyung on the bed with as much care as he can muster.
Kyung is smiling up at him, although his lips have barely moved, his eyes are crinkled around the edges the way they always are when Jiseok gives in to his demands. Jiseok feels his heart slip a little bit in his chest because he still feels so useless and Kyung is lying there, smiling like Jiseok has actually done something right.
Jiseok crouches at the edge of the bed. "Do you need anything?" he asks in a low voice, unsure if Kyung is able to say anything.
Kyung points at his jacket with one finger, and Jiseok helps pull him up and wrangle the jacket off. Kyung flops back down on the bed and Jiseok pulls the covers over him, his heart squeezing at the way Kyung snuggles down into them.
"Anything else?"
Kyung just blinks at him, head barely shaking in a 'no.' His hair has gone all frizzy on the top like it does when he's too lazy to style his perm, and Jiseok pushes enough of it off of his forehead so he can press a kiss there, above Kyung's eyebrow.
When he pulls back, Kyung stares at him for a moment, brown eyes unreadable, before he slips them shut and burrows into the covers.
Jiseok's heart feels heavy sometimes, later, when he thinks back to that. Irrationally, he still feels useless, like he could have kissed him better, could have sent a little more of his love into Kyung's skin until Kyung saw what he did.
But now Kyung doesn't shy away when Jiseok puts his lips over his jaw, slips his mouth down the hot column of his throat. Kyung doesn't push him away, or curl up, but laughs like Jiseok always wanted him to. He doesn't care that Kyung's jaw is a different shape because Kyung squirms under his hands the same way he always has. And his hands are quick and delicate over Jiseok's chest, the opposite of how urgently his thighs grip around Jiseok's waist.
And Kyung will still whisper jokes in his ear in the aftermath, when they're both too tired to move and their skin is sticking oddly together so it hurts to laugh. And Jiseok will glare at him until Kyung kisses him sloppily, breaths into his mouth because they're both exhausted, and Jiseok will keep him there, hand on the back of his sweaty neck until Kyung pinches his side and pulls back with a smirk.
Sometimes, he sees Kyung put his hands on his cheeks, smooth down the skin like he's afraid that something has changed, but his face is always full of relief at the end. His smile is the same shape but brighter than before, as if some anxiety has lifted and Jiseok can only wish it never returns.
END
A/N: If you think I don't love Park Kyung because of this you are sooo sooooo wrong omg let me just warn you now.
Pairing: Kyung/Taewoon (Woo Jiseok)
Group: Block B/SPEED
Rating: PG13
WARNING: Mentions of plastic surgery
Notes: I WAS IN THE MIDDLE-- LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE-- OF WRITING SOMETHING ELSE when I was like heyy let's write this pairing again because why not. Another month, another Kyungwoon fic. I am going to say right now that my feelings on plastic surgery are very mixed. On the one hand, I think it's a way for someone who is deeply troubled about their appearance to remedy certain things about themselves and gain self-acceptance, which I think is great and obviously a very personal decision. On the other hand, I feel like South Korean society (like many others) places a great deal of emphasis on certain standards of physical beauty and this can lead to pressure for people who do not fit those standards (and even those that do) to change their looks in order to fit in. So I guess it's really not plastic surgery I have a problem with, but society making it hard for people to accept themselves as they are.
Summary: Kyung shows up on his doorstep after weeks of no contact and Jiseok feels helpless.
When Kyung decides to go through with the surgery on his jaw, he doesn't tell Jiseok until it's already done.
It's not as though Jiseok would stop him, though he loved the sharp jut of the bone, how Kyung would clench his teeth while he was thinking and it would fall into relief on his neck, the way it made Kyung's cheekbones seem higher. He loves all of Kyung's face, the thin skin over his dark circles, the smooth skin that he still gets acne on occasionally, and his big eyes that he does something with that makes Jiseok comply with every one of Kyung's commands.
(He loves all of Kyung's body, too, but it would take a lot longer to list everything involved there, not to mention all the personality qualities he should find annoying but make him smile despite himself.)
But he knows for a long time Kyung hasn't been happy with it, doesn't like it when Jiseok traces over his jawline with one finger or kisses just under his ear where the jaw curved up. He always used to do it in the beginning, when Kyung scrunching up his face and trying to wriggle away made him laugh and try to kiss it again, until he realized that Kyung never laughed about it.
He never asked about it; every time he tried to bring it up the words would get caught in his throat and he'd just stare at Kyung dumbly for a few seconds. The desire to know why he's hated it so much is strong, almost sickening, because Jiseok loves it and if someone else made Kyung hate it, he wants to track them down and make them pay (by apologizing, he really isn't that good at actual threats).
It takes him a while to realize that maybe it's not because of someone else, maybe it has nothing to do with someone's words or actions and no one, not even his, words or actions can make it better.
So when there's a knock on his door late in the afternoon, and he opens it to see Kyung, puffy-faced and tilting on his feet like he's about to fall over, there's not much else he can do but take him gently by the shoulders and pull him out of the cold. There are bandages underneath the huge scarf he's wrapped around his lower face and the sight of them is like being punched in the stomach.
"Did someone hurt you?" Jiseok asks, voice trembling. The scarf slips to the floor and Kyung is looking up at him without a word. His big eyes are wide and sleepy, unfocused so much they barely seem to catch on Jiseok's face.
He wants to call Jiho, because there's no way his brother doesn't know something, but Kyung just shakes his head slowly. Then his eyes pinch in pain and he stops, going still. Jiseok wants to cup his face in his hands, but is afraid of making it worse.
With a soft thump, Kyung falls further into his embrace, until his hair is brushing under Jiseok's chin. His arms slip around Jiseok's waist, and his hold makes Jiseok feel like crying, the heat of tears prickling at his eyes.
They stand there for a long moment, Jiseok's arms hooked lightly around Kyung's shoulders like he's afraid he'll crush Kyung if he moves closer. His mind has slipped from the panic and it makes sense, he's seen it before, and now he knows why he hasn't heard from Kyung in over a week.
He must have been in the hospital, probably alone. Jiseok bites his lip hard, trying to force the image away. He wishes Kyung would have told him. He would have been there.
With one hand, he carefully brushes over the back of Kyung's head, but he isn't sure what's safe. So instead he cups his hands over Kyung's shoulders, slides them over his back in soothing circles. Kyung makes a small, soft noise, forehead digging further into Jiseok's chest. It's enough for Jiseok to focus on, that insistent nudge, while he tries to calm down again.
There are too many emotions yanking at his heart, sadness and anger and that strange, overwhelming protectiveness he's always held for Kyung. He wants to make Kyung feel better, wants to help him, but he isn't sure how.
Dipping his head down next to Kyung's, he whispers, "Do you want to lie down?"
Kyung can barely nod, but his hands grip tighter into Jiseok's sweater, so he takes it for a yes.
He should help Kyung walk over to his room, but the thought of his wobbling steps into the apartment is enough for Jiseok to bend down suddenly and scoop him up. Kyung has always been tiny, and he feels even more so now, his thin legs wrapping around Jiseok's waist. Just the press of his warm chest against Jiseok's is enough to calm him slightly, his hot breath fanning over Jiseok's neck enough to remind him that Kyung is here, and alright.
Jiseok walks them both over into his room, and places Kyung on the bed with as much care as he can muster.
Kyung is smiling up at him, although his lips have barely moved, his eyes are crinkled around the edges the way they always are when Jiseok gives in to his demands. Jiseok feels his heart slip a little bit in his chest because he still feels so useless and Kyung is lying there, smiling like Jiseok has actually done something right.
Jiseok crouches at the edge of the bed. "Do you need anything?" he asks in a low voice, unsure if Kyung is able to say anything.
Kyung points at his jacket with one finger, and Jiseok helps pull him up and wrangle the jacket off. Kyung flops back down on the bed and Jiseok pulls the covers over him, his heart squeezing at the way Kyung snuggles down into them.
"Anything else?"
Kyung just blinks at him, head barely shaking in a 'no.' His hair has gone all frizzy on the top like it does when he's too lazy to style his perm, and Jiseok pushes enough of it off of his forehead so he can press a kiss there, above Kyung's eyebrow.
When he pulls back, Kyung stares at him for a moment, brown eyes unreadable, before he slips them shut and burrows into the covers.
Jiseok's heart feels heavy sometimes, later, when he thinks back to that. Irrationally, he still feels useless, like he could have kissed him better, could have sent a little more of his love into Kyung's skin until Kyung saw what he did.
But now Kyung doesn't shy away when Jiseok puts his lips over his jaw, slips his mouth down the hot column of his throat. Kyung doesn't push him away, or curl up, but laughs like Jiseok always wanted him to. He doesn't care that Kyung's jaw is a different shape because Kyung squirms under his hands the same way he always has. And his hands are quick and delicate over Jiseok's chest, the opposite of how urgently his thighs grip around Jiseok's waist.
And Kyung will still whisper jokes in his ear in the aftermath, when they're both too tired to move and their skin is sticking oddly together so it hurts to laugh. And Jiseok will glare at him until Kyung kisses him sloppily, breaths into his mouth because they're both exhausted, and Jiseok will keep him there, hand on the back of his sweaty neck until Kyung pinches his side and pulls back with a smirk.
Sometimes, he sees Kyung put his hands on his cheeks, smooth down the skin like he's afraid that something has changed, but his face is always full of relief at the end. His smile is the same shape but brighter than before, as if some anxiety has lifted and Jiseok can only wish it never returns.
END
A/N: If you think I don't love Park Kyung because of this you are sooo sooooo wrong omg let me just warn you now.