(no subject)
there, we will find our doom, rose (rose/ten), pg
because i am doomed to live with you even when i am without you
The weight of it is crushing her and somewhere, she hears a clock ticking., 564 words, post-doomsday
fanfic100: life
Prompt: 039. because i am doomed to live with you even when i am
without you
039. because i am doomed to live with you even when i am
without you
Five
Five more seconds and the words would’ve been there, spoken.
She’s sure of it.
She remembers that she had hesitated, fingers reaching toward the space where he had once stood and had grasped only at emptiness. Deep inside, she had known that he wasn’t really there, but tucked far away (so far away) in the safety of the Tardis. The reality that she was doomed to live out her life without him had pushed its way into her heart and settled there.
The weight of it is crushing her and somewhere, she hears a clock ticking.
Four
Four months are gone before she even blinks.
Her mum has coaxed, cajoled, and has now moved on to threats. Jackie wants her to eat, to sleep, to move, to live. But doesn’t she understand that she’s done all that, lived and more? This life isn’t the life she would’ve chosen for herself, hates that it was forced on her. She wakes up, goes to work, and leaves for home. Day after lonely day. The only time she feels alive is at work, surrounded by objects and paraphernalia that remind her most of him. And the life she left behind. She becomes a different person at Torchwood, revealing in the mysterious; puzzling out a new mystery.
So Mickey and Pete (not Dad, it’s just too soon) convince her that there may be a way to duplicate the technology that had allowed them to pass between worlds. And this time, without damaging the structure of time.
She clings to this bit of hope and a selfish part of her doesn’t care what the hell happens to time.
Three
Three am and he’s a stranger.
She doesn’t know what his name is, doesn’t matter. He doesn’t smell quite the same, but his hair (oh, his hair) is exactly right. Right shade, right texture, right style. She can close her eyes and think that he’s someone else; the weight of his arms around hers is so familiar. She basks in the heat of his arms and laces her fingers with his; pretending that she’s holding onto someone else.
But morning always dawns bright, exposing her lies for what they are. She can’t pretend anymore, the loneliness creeps back and the cold seeps through. It always does in the end.
She would give anything to possess the ability to manipulate time.
Two
Two weeks is all she needs to change her life.
Mickey understands her sense of urgency and they work feverishly together for the answer. All she cares about is finding a way back and he is broken hearted at the thought of losing her again.
The beach in Norway is exactly the same as it was all those years ago. She doesn’t know why it has to be Norway, but she knows that it has to be. She’s said her good-bye (just in case) and Mickey is the only one to go with her. He had joked that they really needed all the trucks and she couldn’t just abandon one in another country. She understand that is how he is coping.
“Are you ready?”
She’s finally ready to end this countdown.
One
One chance is all she really wants.
He smiles at her, across the Tardis console, and it’s like coming home.
.end
because i am doomed to live with you even when i am without you
The weight of it is crushing her and somewhere, she hears a clock ticking., 564 words, post-doomsday
fanfic100: life
Prompt: 039. because i am doomed to live with you even when i am
without you
039. because i am doomed to live with you even when i am
without you
Five
Five more seconds and the words would’ve been there, spoken.
She’s sure of it.
She remembers that she had hesitated, fingers reaching toward the space where he had once stood and had grasped only at emptiness. Deep inside, she had known that he wasn’t really there, but tucked far away (so far away) in the safety of the Tardis. The reality that she was doomed to live out her life without him had pushed its way into her heart and settled there.
The weight of it is crushing her and somewhere, she hears a clock ticking.
Four
Four months are gone before she even blinks.
Her mum has coaxed, cajoled, and has now moved on to threats. Jackie wants her to eat, to sleep, to move, to live. But doesn’t she understand that she’s done all that, lived and more? This life isn’t the life she would’ve chosen for herself, hates that it was forced on her. She wakes up, goes to work, and leaves for home. Day after lonely day. The only time she feels alive is at work, surrounded by objects and paraphernalia that remind her most of him. And the life she left behind. She becomes a different person at Torchwood, revealing in the mysterious; puzzling out a new mystery.
So Mickey and Pete (not Dad, it’s just too soon) convince her that there may be a way to duplicate the technology that had allowed them to pass between worlds. And this time, without damaging the structure of time.
She clings to this bit of hope and a selfish part of her doesn’t care what the hell happens to time.
Three
Three am and he’s a stranger.
She doesn’t know what his name is, doesn’t matter. He doesn’t smell quite the same, but his hair (oh, his hair) is exactly right. Right shade, right texture, right style. She can close her eyes and think that he’s someone else; the weight of his arms around hers is so familiar. She basks in the heat of his arms and laces her fingers with his; pretending that she’s holding onto someone else.
But morning always dawns bright, exposing her lies for what they are. She can’t pretend anymore, the loneliness creeps back and the cold seeps through. It always does in the end.
She would give anything to possess the ability to manipulate time.
Two
Two weeks is all she needs to change her life.
Mickey understands her sense of urgency and they work feverishly together for the answer. All she cares about is finding a way back and he is broken hearted at the thought of losing her again.
The beach in Norway is exactly the same as it was all those years ago. She doesn’t know why it has to be Norway, but she knows that it has to be. She’s said her good-bye (just in case) and Mickey is the only one to go with her. He had joked that they really needed all the trucks and she couldn’t just abandon one in another country. She understand that is how he is coping.
“Are you ready?”
She’s finally ready to end this countdown.
One
One chance is all she really wants.
He smiles at her, across the Tardis console, and it’s like coming home.
.end