DRUNKEN TRUTH
Title: Drunken Truth
Pairing: KyuMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: angst, romance
Warning/s: yaoi, implied smut, open ending
Verse: expanded
Type/Status: One-Shot; Complete, 1,937W
Summary: Kyuhyun regrets a lot of things he has done in his life - but he will never regret loving Sungmin.
A/N: Unbeta'd. Sorry for the grammar mistakes and whatnot. T^T
"Drunken words speak sober thoughts."
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
“What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.”
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
- C.S. Lewis
Lee Sungmin didn't believe in love. Emotions are messy; they're nothing but a pain in the ass, in more ways than one. He doesn't do relationships. Relationships had 'It's complicated (TM)' stamped all over them. Sungmin didn't want the excess baggage. He did hook-ups, though. It was more convenient, yet not any less satisfying - sexually, that is. It was enough to keep his carnal needs in check, not worrying about a partner, was of course, an added bonus.
Sungmin couldn't afford the emotional investment anyway - busy schedule and all. Sure, he still gets an entirely different pain in the ass, but it was nothing a cold shower and a couple tablets of Tylenol can't fix. Which was precisely why his arrangement with Kyuhyun was convenient, to say the least. After all, getting a fuck buddy was one thing; but a fuck buddy who was also your roommate? Just plain awesome. Sungmin didn't even need to go to shady clubs anymore ever since they started this routine of theirs. He couldn't even be bothered with remembering when or how it started. All he knew was that he wanted it to stay - as convenient as it is - no strings attached whatsoever, and he intended to keep it that way.
Except that, fate sometimes had this knack for messing things up. Sungmin would later learn that it was just interfering with their lives so as to put things to where they rightfully belong. Funny thing, fate is. Sungmin was not the type of person to regret his actions, for he believed that one should take responsibility for his own decisions. He wasn't quite sure whether or not he regrets challenging Kyuhyun to finish their fifth bottle of wine that one fateful night though.
Needless to say, it wasn't love at first sight. Kyuhyun was never a romantic himself, much less not the clingy type either - there was Donghae for that. Why else would he be in-charge of composing sappy love songs for their albums anyway? Kyuhyun sang love songs for a living, but he was far from believing the shit therein - until that glorious moment of epiphany when Sungmin was riding him with his head tossed back to reveal the pale column of his neck, mouth hanging slightly open with his hair falling onto his eyes which were shut as Kyuhyun dug deeper into him, something more than mere bodies becoming one in that particular moment - in Kyuhyun's perspective, anyway.
It's funny, the circumstances wherein Kyuhyun discovered his more than platonic feelings for his roomie-slash-fuck-buddy. After all, how many people in this world got to realize their deepest emotions at a time when logic dictates that there shouldn't be anything else in a person's mind other than lust at the moment. Okay, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration, knowing that there really were people who loved, who are in love. Yet, for the horny young lad named Cho Kyuhyun, it was rather... unexpected. Who would've thought that it would take him one particular image to make him realize how he had fallen for his hyung, so much so that they had been fornicating for the longest time before he realized just that.
Kyuhyun just wanted to get some. He just wasn't aware that he was about to get some... and more. Still, he wasn't going to complain. When you're getting ass like that, you're bound not too. Then again, Kyuhyun knew he couldn't blame himself. Not when Sungmin's lips lured him in with pure seduction, his tongue in between his teeth as he stopped himself from screaming Kyuhyun's name. Kyuhyun's hips were moving mechanically, but he found it weird that with every thrust came a throbbing that wasn't just the pulsation in his manhood, no matter how he wanted it to be. His heart bumped onto his chest in time with his thrusts, despite thinking that he was just overwhelmed by the Sungmin's heat around him; and he forced himself to believe just that. It was, however, short-lived; when Sungmin opened his eyes and stared directly at Kyuhyun's eyes as they simultaneously climaxed, eyes lined with kohl in a way that could only be called sinful - Kyuhyun knew he was a goner.
Kyuhyun didn't sleep a blink that night. He knew he had just broken the one and only rule in this game of theirs: no falling in love, that is. He knew Sungmin was going to stop whatever it is they have once he knows Kyuhyun had somehow developed this wretched human emotion that is love for him. Kyuhyun wouldn't put it beyond Sungmin to cut their ties off completely, and as cliche as it sounds, he knew he couldn't live without the other man from the moment he realized that he loved him. Silence was the only option for him. It was a painful silence, to say the least. But Kyuhyun was in love, not stupid. He wasn't stupid enough to confess and have Sungmin leave him. Kyuhyun was smart and he kept his mouth shut. It was the only way to keep Sungmin beside him.
Then again, secrets were only as good as they were until they're told. Blame it on the fucking alcohol, indeed.
Drinking wine has been a part of the nightly ritual between Kyuhyun and Sungmin for the longest time. They always drunk wine before they proceeded to the less-than-innocent part of their ritual. How they managed to reach up to their fifth bottle that night was beyond Kyuhyun. The details were vague, and although Kyuhyun always had a high tolerance for alcohol, five bottles were just too much for two people, especially with him drinking twice as much as Sungmin did.
Kyuhyun didn't know what he was doing. He was far too gone to care about the words he had been spewing as he pounded into Sungmin, all curves and pliant limbs, all too alluring and very much enticing - enough for Kyuhyun to forget even his name - enough for Kyuhyun to forget that he wasn't supposed to say those three words. Those three forbidden words.
It took Kyuhyun a while to recognize that those fox-like eyes, which had him enamored since the very first time he locked gazes with them, didn't have the hazy look of lust they usually did when they came to it. Sungmin's face registered the utmost shock, mouth gaping a little as he ceased all movements altogether and Kyuhyun had to groan, not quite able to help himself from wanting more of Sungmin's warmth around him - not being able to help himself from needing Sungmin, in more ways than one.
The passion was all too much and Kyuhyun couldn't bring himself to stop even though something at the back of his mind nagged at him, signalling him that something was wrong. The alcohol had numbed his senses and all he could do was push Sungmin further down on the bed to continue from where they left off, not knowing why Sungmin was suddenly unresponsive to his ministrations.
Not until he looked up to the elder's face that is - his alabaster skin paler than usual without make up on, his undone look doing wonders for Kyuhyun's sanity, with a slightly terrified look in his orbs that Kyuhyun found endearing. And it was then that Kyuhyun felt himself say those three words again - and it hit him like a brick. He knew he was done for the moment Sungmin tried to push him away after he came, yet Kyuhyun could only hold on tighter, asking for forgiveness for feeling the way he was feeling, never mind that his heart was out of his control. He was going to apologize a million times if need be, if only to hold on to Sungmin just a little bit more.
Kyuhyun slept with tears on his eyes that night, holding onto Sungmin's waist like a life line, relieved that the elder finally stopped squirming after Kyuhyun said "Don't leave me," for the fifth time. Kyuhyun knew he must be dreaming when he felt Sungmin return his hug; the elder's breathing the only thing that lulled him to a listless sleep.
And of fucking course; just like any other dream, Kyuhyun woke up to an empty bed, the cold feeling reaching up to the depths of his heart. Kyuhyun merely sighed in defeat, a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He knew he had crossed the line, and he knew he should face the consequences of his actions. He had always agreed with Sungmin's view on regrets - that it was pointless since one has to learn to stand up for their decisions and all.
But at that very moment, Kyuhyun couldn't even be bothered with figuring out Sungmin's idiosyncrasies. Oh no, he didn't regret anything that he did. After all, apologizing for one's feelings was just preposterous, him having no control over them whatsoever. Nevertheless, a thought plagued Kyuhyun's mind, making the tears he restrained finally fall onto his cheeks as he stared across the room to look at Sungmin's closet door which was ajar, emptied of all traces of his belongings, mainly pink, that Kyuhyun had grown accustomed to all these years.
Did Sungmin regret having Kyuhyun in his life? Because Kyuhyun was sure he didn't and he knew that if given another chance, he would still prefer to fall for Sungmin all over again, even if all it gives him is pain, leaving him broken - just like he is now.
Kyuhyun could only stare blankly at Sungmin's picture on their side table - the only trace of Sungmin left in the room. Knowing the elder, it might have been an honest mistake, as the rest of the room was now completely devoid of anything that would indicate the presence of another occupant in the room. If Kyuhyun didn't know better, he would've thought that everything was just a dream. That Sungmin was a dream. He knew it could be possible - Sungmin, after all, was too good to be true.
Yet the sting in his heart was too heavy to ignore. The pain was real. Sungmin was real. Sungmin left, taking the broken pieces of Kyuhyun's heart with him - and Kyuhyun thinks, he's broken beyond repair.
~END~
P.S. Ochi! Thanks for the drawing, BB! Sorry it took this long. Midterm week was pure torture and I still have two exams left for this week. =((( I just rushed this for you so it's short and sucky. T^T
P.S.S. I don't why it turned out like this. My feelings are in a disarray. RL's a bitch. Sorry. ;A;
P.S.S.S. Loosely based on the song Kyuhyun sang in Sukira.
P.S.S.S.S. Belated/Advanced Happy Birthday August BBs! Sorry I can't make each of you a birthday fic!;A; kry_h3artz vin11lover mimoiikit143 fillupmyheart rei_ming
P.S.S.S.S.S. Back to hiatus. Ciao.
Pairing: KyuMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: angst, romance
Warning/s: yaoi, implied smut, open ending
Verse: expanded
Type/Status: One-Shot; Complete, 1,937W
Summary: Kyuhyun regrets a lot of things he has done in his life - but he will never regret loving Sungmin.
A/N: Unbeta'd. Sorry for the grammar mistakes and whatnot. T^T
"Drunken words speak sober thoughts."
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
“What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.”
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
- C.S. Lewis
Lee Sungmin didn't believe in love. Emotions are messy; they're nothing but a pain in the ass, in more ways than one. He doesn't do relationships. Relationships had 'It's complicated (TM)' stamped all over them. Sungmin didn't want the excess baggage. He did hook-ups, though. It was more convenient, yet not any less satisfying - sexually, that is. It was enough to keep his carnal needs in check, not worrying about a partner, was of course, an added bonus.
Sungmin couldn't afford the emotional investment anyway - busy schedule and all. Sure, he still gets an entirely different pain in the ass, but it was nothing a cold shower and a couple tablets of Tylenol can't fix. Which was precisely why his arrangement with Kyuhyun was convenient, to say the least. After all, getting a fuck buddy was one thing; but a fuck buddy who was also your roommate? Just plain awesome. Sungmin didn't even need to go to shady clubs anymore ever since they started this routine of theirs. He couldn't even be bothered with remembering when or how it started. All he knew was that he wanted it to stay - as convenient as it is - no strings attached whatsoever, and he intended to keep it that way.
Except that, fate sometimes had this knack for messing things up. Sungmin would later learn that it was just interfering with their lives so as to put things to where they rightfully belong. Funny thing, fate is. Sungmin was not the type of person to regret his actions, for he believed that one should take responsibility for his own decisions. He wasn't quite sure whether or not he regrets challenging Kyuhyun to finish their fifth bottle of wine that one fateful night though.
Needless to say, it wasn't love at first sight. Kyuhyun was never a romantic himself, much less not the clingy type either - there was Donghae for that. Why else would he be in-charge of composing sappy love songs for their albums anyway? Kyuhyun sang love songs for a living, but he was far from believing the shit therein - until that glorious moment of epiphany when Sungmin was riding him with his head tossed back to reveal the pale column of his neck, mouth hanging slightly open with his hair falling onto his eyes which were shut as Kyuhyun dug deeper into him, something more than mere bodies becoming one in that particular moment - in Kyuhyun's perspective, anyway.
It's funny, the circumstances wherein Kyuhyun discovered his more than platonic feelings for his roomie-slash-fuck-buddy. After all, how many people in this world got to realize their deepest emotions at a time when logic dictates that there shouldn't be anything else in a person's mind other than lust at the moment. Okay, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration, knowing that there really were people who loved, who are in love. Yet, for the horny young lad named Cho Kyuhyun, it was rather... unexpected. Who would've thought that it would take him one particular image to make him realize how he had fallen for his hyung, so much so that they had been fornicating for the longest time before he realized just that.
Kyuhyun just wanted to get some. He just wasn't aware that he was about to get some... and more. Still, he wasn't going to complain. When you're getting ass like that, you're bound not too. Then again, Kyuhyun knew he couldn't blame himself. Not when Sungmin's lips lured him in with pure seduction, his tongue in between his teeth as he stopped himself from screaming Kyuhyun's name. Kyuhyun's hips were moving mechanically, but he found it weird that with every thrust came a throbbing that wasn't just the pulsation in his manhood, no matter how he wanted it to be. His heart bumped onto his chest in time with his thrusts, despite thinking that he was just overwhelmed by the Sungmin's heat around him; and he forced himself to believe just that. It was, however, short-lived; when Sungmin opened his eyes and stared directly at Kyuhyun's eyes as they simultaneously climaxed, eyes lined with kohl in a way that could only be called sinful - Kyuhyun knew he was a goner.
Kyuhyun didn't sleep a blink that night. He knew he had just broken the one and only rule in this game of theirs: no falling in love, that is. He knew Sungmin was going to stop whatever it is they have once he knows Kyuhyun had somehow developed this wretched human emotion that is love for him. Kyuhyun wouldn't put it beyond Sungmin to cut their ties off completely, and as cliche as it sounds, he knew he couldn't live without the other man from the moment he realized that he loved him. Silence was the only option for him. It was a painful silence, to say the least. But Kyuhyun was in love, not stupid. He wasn't stupid enough to confess and have Sungmin leave him. Kyuhyun was smart and he kept his mouth shut. It was the only way to keep Sungmin beside him.
Then again, secrets were only as good as they were until they're told. Blame it on the fucking alcohol, indeed.
Drinking wine has been a part of the nightly ritual between Kyuhyun and Sungmin for the longest time. They always drunk wine before they proceeded to the less-than-innocent part of their ritual. How they managed to reach up to their fifth bottle that night was beyond Kyuhyun. The details were vague, and although Kyuhyun always had a high tolerance for alcohol, five bottles were just too much for two people, especially with him drinking twice as much as Sungmin did.
Kyuhyun didn't know what he was doing. He was far too gone to care about the words he had been spewing as he pounded into Sungmin, all curves and pliant limbs, all too alluring and very much enticing - enough for Kyuhyun to forget even his name - enough for Kyuhyun to forget that he wasn't supposed to say those three words. Those three forbidden words.
It took Kyuhyun a while to recognize that those fox-like eyes, which had him enamored since the very first time he locked gazes with them, didn't have the hazy look of lust they usually did when they came to it. Sungmin's face registered the utmost shock, mouth gaping a little as he ceased all movements altogether and Kyuhyun had to groan, not quite able to help himself from wanting more of Sungmin's warmth around him - not being able to help himself from needing Sungmin, in more ways than one.
The passion was all too much and Kyuhyun couldn't bring himself to stop even though something at the back of his mind nagged at him, signalling him that something was wrong. The alcohol had numbed his senses and all he could do was push Sungmin further down on the bed to continue from where they left off, not knowing why Sungmin was suddenly unresponsive to his ministrations.
Not until he looked up to the elder's face that is - his alabaster skin paler than usual without make up on, his undone look doing wonders for Kyuhyun's sanity, with a slightly terrified look in his orbs that Kyuhyun found endearing. And it was then that Kyuhyun felt himself say those three words again - and it hit him like a brick. He knew he was done for the moment Sungmin tried to push him away after he came, yet Kyuhyun could only hold on tighter, asking for forgiveness for feeling the way he was feeling, never mind that his heart was out of his control. He was going to apologize a million times if need be, if only to hold on to Sungmin just a little bit more.
Kyuhyun slept with tears on his eyes that night, holding onto Sungmin's waist like a life line, relieved that the elder finally stopped squirming after Kyuhyun said "Don't leave me," for the fifth time. Kyuhyun knew he must be dreaming when he felt Sungmin return his hug; the elder's breathing the only thing that lulled him to a listless sleep.
And of fucking course; just like any other dream, Kyuhyun woke up to an empty bed, the cold feeling reaching up to the depths of his heart. Kyuhyun merely sighed in defeat, a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He knew he had crossed the line, and he knew he should face the consequences of his actions. He had always agreed with Sungmin's view on regrets - that it was pointless since one has to learn to stand up for their decisions and all.
But at that very moment, Kyuhyun couldn't even be bothered with figuring out Sungmin's idiosyncrasies. Oh no, he didn't regret anything that he did. After all, apologizing for one's feelings was just preposterous, him having no control over them whatsoever. Nevertheless, a thought plagued Kyuhyun's mind, making the tears he restrained finally fall onto his cheeks as he stared across the room to look at Sungmin's closet door which was ajar, emptied of all traces of his belongings, mainly pink, that Kyuhyun had grown accustomed to all these years.
Did Sungmin regret having Kyuhyun in his life? Because Kyuhyun was sure he didn't and he knew that if given another chance, he would still prefer to fall for Sungmin all over again, even if all it gives him is pain, leaving him broken - just like he is now.
Kyuhyun could only stare blankly at Sungmin's picture on their side table - the only trace of Sungmin left in the room. Knowing the elder, it might have been an honest mistake, as the rest of the room was now completely devoid of anything that would indicate the presence of another occupant in the room. If Kyuhyun didn't know better, he would've thought that everything was just a dream. That Sungmin was a dream. He knew it could be possible - Sungmin, after all, was too good to be true.
Yet the sting in his heart was too heavy to ignore. The pain was real. Sungmin was real. Sungmin left, taking the broken pieces of Kyuhyun's heart with him - and Kyuhyun thinks, he's broken beyond repair.
~END~
P.S. Ochi! Thanks for the drawing, BB! Sorry it took this long. Midterm week was pure torture and I still have two exams left for this week. =((( I just rushed this for you so it's short and sucky. T^T
P.S.S. I don't why it turned out like this. My feelings are in a disarray. RL's a bitch. Sorry. ;A;
P.S.S.S. Loosely based on the song Kyuhyun sang in Sukira.
P.S.S.S.S. Belated/Advanced Happy Birthday August BBs! Sorry I can't make each of you a birthday fic!;A; kry_h3artz vin11lover mimoiikit143 fillupmyheart rei_ming
P.S.S.S.S.S. Back to hiatus. Ciao.