OK, so you wanted feedback? LOL Well here we go. *Grins*
First off, i am a sucker for "jealous" fics, so that gives you a heads up first of all. Second, i absolutely adore the story. Third, If you dont get the next part written soon, i may have to spam your email. *Grins and waves*
However, LOL please dont freak. I do have a critique for you. Its called "Head hopping" IE Person's point of view.
What i found that there was a great deal of swapping between Sam and Dean's POV, which is fine, but i think it would be good if you consider staying in one persons head for a while instead of the constant jumping. (Always easier said than done.)HMMM?? Did that make any sence?? Hope its ok to point this out? *Smiles shyly*
I really did enjoy this though, and hope part 2 is up, like, real soon!
Oh, please don't spam my email! Lol. I have enough trouble with it, as it is!
I'm surprised that you're the only one who has commented on the POV. See, I hate writing in more than one person's head at a time. It's hard for me to keep everything straight, and it's hard to make it flow. However, when I wrote this, I was extremely tired, lol. And the boys were being little jerks and not working with me. When I went back over it, I couldn't figure out how to make it flow better. But, both POV's are needed in this first one for the rest of them to make sense - and those will be one-person's-head-per-story....well, sort of.
And, you're fine to point that out, dearest. :D Ya know, it's nice when someone actually says what's wrong, lol. You can't improve as much if those things aren't brought up!
I'll try my best to finish up the second part tonight. Hopefully, the boys will cooperate me. When I tried to work on the second one before, Dean decided he wanted to be in a whole new story first. Lol. But, he promised me some masturabation. In
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Comments 13
First off, i am a sucker for "jealous" fics, so that gives you a heads up first of all.
Second, i absolutely adore the story.
Third, If you dont get the next part written soon, i may have to spam your email. *Grins and waves*
However, LOL please dont freak. I do have a critique for you. Its called "Head hopping" IE Person's point of view.
What i found that there was a great deal of swapping between Sam and Dean's POV, which is fine, but i think it would be good if you consider staying in one persons head for a while instead of the constant jumping. (Always easier said than done.)HMMM?? Did that make any sence?? Hope its ok to point this out? *Smiles shyly*
I really did enjoy this though, and hope part 2 is up, like, real soon!
*hugs*
Reply
I'm surprised that you're the only one who has commented on the POV. See, I hate writing in more than one person's head at a time. It's hard for me to keep everything straight, and it's hard to make it flow. However, when I wrote this, I was extremely tired, lol. And the boys were being little jerks and not working with me. When I went back over it, I couldn't figure out how to make it flow better. But, both POV's are needed in this first one for the rest of them to make sense - and those will be one-person's-head-per-story....well, sort of.
And, you're fine to point that out, dearest. :D Ya know, it's nice when someone actually says what's wrong, lol. You can't improve as much if those things aren't brought up!
I'll try my best to finish up the second part tonight. Hopefully, the boys will cooperate me. When I tried to work on the second one before, Dean decided he wanted to be in a whole new story first. Lol. But, he promised me some masturabation. In ( ... )
Reply
Why does jealous!Sam make me cry?
Great work. I'm heading to read the other one now.
Reply
I'll go comment to you on the other one now! lol.
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