Pronouns

[theletterelle]

I know no one person can speak for a community, but am I correct in my recollection that using 'shim' as a pronoun for transfolk is generally considered offensive? My boss just used it ("a shim") to describe a library patron (not within their hearing). I told her that was offensive in the trans community. She claims to have a lot of trans friends

Comments

[cz_unit]

A shim? What the hell does that mean?

(Oh I see, she him. I was thinking shim like something you stick between two things to hold them level. Like a.... ahem).

I would consider "it" to be offensive, but I guess we can use that.

C

[sweetmmeblue]

If a gender neutral pronoun was used to be respectful I can see that as ok, even if it is one that is out of fad. However, using is as "a" shim is being offensive. You wouldn't say, in response to a particular person, "A him from the library did...." It would be the equivalent of saying "A gender queer from the library..." you don't single the person out. BLEH!!!!

[mikailborg]

I have never heard that term before, so I really couldn't say. I was called "trap" a few months back at an anime con, which I find offensive, but it was clearly meant as a compliment, so I ended up just nodding politely. People are weird.

[theletterelle]

I've never even heard of trap. What's that supposed to mean?

I love that Alice outfit. You look good. :)

[mikailborg]

A "trap" is a cross-dresser or transgendered person that passes as the other gender so well that someone with sexual intentions might not discover the truth until the pants or skirt come off. Implied is the idea that the cross-dresser is a cruel tease, a corruptor.

"It's a trap!"

So, as you can see, it's not a nice thing to say. Besides, I rarely shave off the beard, so I'm not much of a trap. However, the tone and context of the comment clearly suggested that even without passing, I looked really good in my outfit, and the observer admired it. So as I said, I tried to accept the intent.

And thank you. I do this for my own fun... but I can't deny that I enjoy compliments when I get them :)

[maureenlycaon]

This is honestly the first I've heard of it. Then again, I'm not very transgender-aware.

[theletterelle]

I remember using it (or hearing it used, idk) when I was a kid. Kind of that giggling "it's different therefore weird and wrong and to be mocked." That's why I couldn't believe that an adult person would have heard it from her numerous trans friends. If they exist.

[daroos]

I always thought a shim was something you used to prop up your dresser when it leaned the wrong direction.