Dare to be Aware - Chapter Twenty

[thelastpen]

Title: Dare to be Aware
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: Hard NC-17
Length: 90,201
Spoilers: AU
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, past Brittany/Santana, Brittany/Artie mentions, Blaine/Sam, past Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Sam bearding, past Blaine/Kurt
Summary: What does it take to find your own identity? How much pain can you endure in the process?
Warnings (highlight to read): Gender Dysphoria, Violence against Trans, Trans Character, Explicit Sexual Content, Domestic Violence, Graphic Severe Violence, Hospitals, Transitioning, Rough Sex, Potentially dub-con/non-con situations, Abandonment

Chapter 20

It was finally time for Nationals.

Santana leaned against the window of the bus and watched the countryside passing with a tiny smile. Maybe she had to share a seat with an underclassman that yapped almost more than Berry did in Glee, but at least she wasn't sitting next to Brittany. The leggy blonde had been regulated to the front of the bus with her team as the JV captain. She was lucky to even be going, but the team needed backups just in case of injuries and JV team at least knew the routines well enough to be fillers.

But the best part was if she turned her head just right, she could just get a glimpse of the familiar silver shape of her father's SUV. Her smile broadened slightly as she thought about her lover sitting in the backseat with the bags. Maybe it wasn't the same not having Quinn at her side in the competition, but having him in the stands and later was almost as good.

It had been an effort to make her mind think of him as a guy instead of the girl she grew up with, but it made him feel better and for the first time in a long time, it made her feel normal. Just like every other girl. And if he was a guy that smelled and felt like a woman when she kissed him, well, there was nothing wrong with that. Right?

She looked down at the phone clutched in her hand with a smirk. Tapping the button to wake it up, she flicked over to her IM app and sent a quick message.

Hope ur up to being my bf tonight, bb. U know how performing turns me on. Winning makes me hotter.

Don't I know it. Quinn tapped out and smiled softly, his shaggy hair covering his eyes. Don't think I don't remember that you always smelled different after a big game or competition. Now I know what that smell was. Your pussy was dripping wasn't it?

Santana laughed softly, reading the reply.

U know it. Used 2 have 2 use my fingers & fuck myself so hard. But now I have u, don't I? ;)

Think u b up 2 helping a girl out 2nite?

Already got it planned. He smiled and looked up at Santana's parents who were talking softly, Quinn still felt nervous about being with them but he knew her lover wanted him there. Though, do you think you can wait until midnight so we can sneak out? Or do I need to fuck you before?

Chicken. ;) But yeah. I can wait. Think u could meet me right after though? Get a taste? ;)

Yes. He responded before putting his phone down and stretching his back. He still had issues staying still for too long since his injuries. His chest had healed mostly, just nasty pink and red scars remained where his breasts used to be. They spanned his torso down to his belly button, and his body still ached with pains from his father's brutality. His knee had been set and stabilized with a smaller brace so it neatly slipped under his pants and he just used crutches to get around.

"You okay back there, Quinn?" Emilio asked, glancing back at him through the rear view. "We can stop if you need to get out and stretch for a bit."

"I'm okay," he said. "Thank you." He reached over and took one of his painkillers out of his bottle. "The doctors said that I can start taking off my knee thing when I'm not doing anything."

"Mmhmm, but let's consider that going to sleep for now, okay?" He shot him a smile, "Teenaged boys' ideas of not doing anything and doctors' ideas are often different. And better safe than sorry when it comes to your knees."

Maria glanced back over the seat at him. "We're about half way there. Do you want to stop for lunch soon or eat with the team when we arrive?"

"I... I can't eat with the team." He said softly, knowing that no one from the team knew he was identifying as male now. "Not after..." he motioned to himself and looked away. "You can if you want... I'll grab something and stay in the room."

She sighed, looking at her husband who shrugged. "Quinn, we only offered because we thought you'd like to eat with our Santana. Honestly, you know how the team eats. It's not nearly enough for a healing young person like yourself. We can stop along the way if you tell us what sort of food interests you. I know of my daughter's obsession with that Breadstix, but what of you, Quinn?"

"I would... but she's in Cheerios mode and she won't wanna eat anyway." Quinn replied, "I don't really want to have any of the Cheerios see me. I know the rumors that are going around school, and I'm not a hundred percent convinced it wasn't a Cheerio who sent those photos to my dad."

"Mmm, I wouldn't be so convinced that even in Cheerios mode, Santana wouldn't want to see you, my dear." Maria smiled at him. She still didn't entirely understand how Santana could want to be with someone who identified as a man after insisting she was a lesbian, but whatever made her daughter happy, she was for. "But where or what would you like to eat?"

"I like everything." He shrugged. "Whatever you want." He smiled politely and looked back out the window. He knew that Santana's parents weren't comfortable with him being a boy. Part of that was knowing him his whole friendship with Santana as a female, but the other was Santana was gay and he identified as man which made them even more apprehensive to his presence in their lives.

She sighed and turned back to the front, shrugging at her husband. Emilio shook his head and drove a bit more before seeing a sign. "Well, since you won't pick, Mexican it is! I know the wife took you out to work at our restaurant so consider this checking out the competition!"

Quinn laughed softly, "Sounds good."

After lunch the Lopezes got to the hotel and settled in. Quinn laid on the double bed that resided near the window while Mrs. Lopez and Emilio worked on putting away their clothes and whispered softly. Quinn had fallen asleep nearly the moment he laid on the bed, his pain and anxiety medications doing a number on his ability to sleep and focus.

When the Cheerios got in and settled, the first thing Santana did was slip away from the rest of the group and head down to her parents' room. Knocking softly, she smiled up at her dad, getting a hug before he nodded back to where Quinn was sleeping. Her smile widening, she slipped in past him and toed off her white sneakers before crawling onto the bed with him and curling into his side, her head resting on his chest.

Almost as if he was doing it consciously, Quinn's arm's wrapped around Santana's body. His hips tilted slightly towards her and a soft smile passed across his face.

Maria came out of the bathroom and looked at the teenagers on the bed. She moved closer to her husband and tilted her head. Santana and Quinn were careful to never be too romantic or touchy around each other. So the older woman had never really seen her daughter's relationship on this intimate of a level.

Santana was far too tired from the long bus ride to care about her parents seeing them together like they were. She just sighed softly and nestled into his embrace. Her arm curling over his chest, she breathed in the unique scent that marked him as Quinn as her eyes fell closed. She knew she didn't have too long before she was forced back to the room she was sharing with three other Cheerios, so she wanted to get as much real rest in as she could.

Maria turned to her husband and whispered softly, "...but she said she was gay." She looked at the teenagers. She was honestly confused about how to proceed with the relationship. "I was just getting used to that."

"Shh," Emilio responded, finishing putting his things away. "She's herself. And Quinn is... unique. Leave them be." He spoke softly, trying to keep from waking two sleeping teens. "You know she's always had feelings for Quinn when Quinn was a girl. It's not like he changed who he was when it came out he identified as a man."

"But... what happens to Quinn or our child's heart when Santana realizes that Quinn's not just a girl playing?" she sighed and looked at her husband.

He sighed and sat down on the bed, holding his arms out for her to come over. "You just let it be, love. They will find their way. If it doesn't last, we will help them to rebuild. If it does, we will not question it. We'll be proud of them for finding each other and happy for their love." He kissed her cheek as she sat in his lap, his arms wrapping around her. "Don't grieve for a death before the patient is even sick."

"I know," she said softly. "God... I can never forgive Quinn's parents." she hissed looking at how Santana's hand gently pressed against the boy's scars.

"That is for God to forgive, not us." His lips narrowed as he thought of the violence Quinn's father had inflicted upon his child. "That any father could do such a thing to his child," he shook his head, looking like he'd just bitten into something vile, "disgusting."

"That... that her mother just left," she shook her head, "that her mother just left with out even caring where her child was going to go."

"His mother," he corrected gently. "And we don't know what was happening. We cannot judge, beautiful. Not without knowing." He chided softly, hugging her close. "The man, to inflict such violence upon the child, that is knowledge enough. But her mother for leaving? You did not see her go, Maria. She was not a woman leaving with an easy heart."

"Still... I wouldn't leave Santana if anything horrific happened to her. If she was in a hospital near death without a home or comfort." Maria stated, "Mothers don't do that. Quinn would cry when she was under sedation when I would bring San to visit and call out for her... his mom."

"I know you wouldn't. But I also know that a man who would beat a child would beat a woman." Emilio looked into her eyes, letting her see the truth they both knew in his words. "And if he hurt Quinn so violently for being himself, what would he do to Judy for helping him hide it? And do not tell me she didn't know. You knew about our Santana even if she never said. A mother knows. Think how much more hurt Quinn would be if his mother were killed than what she's done. If she were gone forever."

"I know... but she is gone." She sighed and rested her head against her husbands broad shoulder. "And she... he needs a mom to tell him that he's okay."

"Then you tell him," he kissed her forehead, nodding over to where their daughter was wrapped tightly around Quinn, his arms holding her safe. "Because the way those two look remind me of us when we were young. That's love, Maria. And if they can find their way past all the bullshit in this world, maybe he will be your son one day. Hey?"

"Maybe," she said softly. "I wish it was going to be easier for them." She stated honestly as she watched Santana's eyes blink open and watch Quinn's sleeping form.

"Love isn't easy," Emilio whispered into her ear. "That's what makes it worth it."

Warm-ups had made Santana almost ready to scream with frustration. Sue had just sat back and watched with her trademark smirk, randomly calling girls off the formation and replacing with JVs. Eventually even Brittany had been slotted into the regular rotation, much to the blonde's enthusiastic joy.

But then they got on the blue mats and the music had started and everything went perfect.

As she held the last pose with a bright grin, Santana knew the trophy was in the bag. There was no way anyone else would top them. It was like an electric charge following through her body as she looked out over the crowd and met Quinn's hazel eyes. Her smile became a smirk as she dropped down into a cradle catch and cheered her way off the mat, seeing him head down out of the stands towards the backstage area.

Quinn leaned against the wall and waited. He was so proud of his former team and of his girlfriend. They had executed the routine he, Sue and Santana had masterminded perfectly. Part of him longed for his team and to have been apart of that, but right now his mind could only focus on one thing. The sexy as hell girl that was headed his way.

Santana ran over and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as she hugged him with a happy squeal. "We did it, baby! We're gonna be champs!" She caught his cheeks and kissed him hard before sliding back down to get her weight off his knee. When she pulled away her eyes were dark with want as she smirked up at him, "Wanna find some place to... celebrate for a bit before tonight?"

"How about right here?" he smirked, his hand moving to cup her core under her skirt. "Aww, baby, does winning turn you on?"

"How about," she reached past him to turn the handle on the door he was leaning beside, "in here instead?" Pulling him into the storage closet she all but growled with how sensitive her body was, pulling down her spankies and panties to leave her bare under her skirt as soon as the door shut. She leaned against the door and spread her legs, flipping her skirt up, not even caring how wanton she looked doing it because he was her Quinn. "I want you to eat me, Quinn. Don't you want to taste a winner?"

"Fuck." He groaned low in his throat looking at her exposed core, "Yeah, I want you." He moved closer and slid two fingers quickly up her tight channel. "Fuck I love feeling you covering my hand."

She groaned, her head snapping back to smack into the door with a soft thud as she tightened her muscles about his fingers. "Fuck, Quinn... I want your tongue, baby. I want you to push me up against this wall and eat me. T-then I wanna kiss you and taste me on your lips. And later," she tangled fingers in his hair and made him look at her, her voice dropping to a husky whisper, "later I want you to fuck me so hard I can barely walk." She pulled him into a hard kiss, biting his lower lip.

He slid down her body to his knees, his hands pulling her thighs apart and his lips going right to the source of her pleasure. "Fuck, baby," he grumbled. She tasted like she was melting in his mouth.

She moaned, lifting a leg to wrap around his shoulders and opening wider for him. "Fuck yes," she hissed, raking her nails over his scalp, as his mouth stroked the fire in her core higher. "Suck me, baby. Suck me hard."

He slid his tongue inside her and sucked her hole with vigor. He reached his arms up and squeezed her breast as he plunged inside her.

"Oh God, yes!" Her head smacked into the door again as she arched her body into his mouth, reaching down she fumbled for one of his hands and pulled it down to press it against her bare ass. "Grab me, Quinn," she hissed, "I want your marks on my body. I want them."

Quinn removed his tongue from her pussy long enough to lean down and suck and bite at her thighs. He pulled back, smirking as he noticed his prominent marks against her skin. He quickly moved his lips back to her clit, sucking roughly.

"Oh God," she panted, her hips bucking with each suck, nails digging into his scalp as she tried to pull him closer. "Oh God, I'm so close... so close... fuck! F-fingers... fingers, baby. I need you inside me. Oh fuck, inside, Quinn, please!"

Without preamble Quinn slid three fingers inside his lover, one hand grabbing a handful of her ass to direct her body with his movements. She gasped as he stretched her, but it wasn't as wide as she stretched to take his cock so she just shifted her hips to open her thighs a little wider and rocked on his fingers.

"Oh God, yes!" she growled, hips rolling as she rode him. "Fuck me, Quinn. I'm going to come..." She panted rapidly as the feelings built in her, her eyes closing and head and shoulders pressed against the door to hold her up as her lower body bucked and rolled. She moaned at the feeling of being filled by him while he sucked her clit and his fingers dug almost painfully hard into her ass to control her. "Fuck, yes, harder! Make me yours, baby."

"Anything," he panted, pulling his lips away from her drenched core. He kept thrusting, batting his tongue back and forth over her clit in counter-time with his fingers.

It was enough. It was almost too much as she shuddered and bucked between him and the door. "Quinn!" she gasped, her voice trailing into a low keen as she came hard, her body clenching hard on his fingers.

He continued to try to thrust, but her walls didn't let him. He remained lapping up her essence and working softly to bring her a second climax. She jerked and nearly screamed as her body started coming down only to be sent hurtling into a second orgasm. It felt like her entire being was draining out through her core as she struggled to breathe let alone remember who she was.

Quinn relented after his girlfriend's second climax. He gently licked her clean before moving to kiss her thighs and carefully stand up. His knee ached but he knew it was worth it.

She reached blindly for him as her leg came down to let her stand on both feet, helping him stand more from instinct than conscious effort. Pulling him close, she snuggled into his chest. "I love you," she whispered, panting for breath. "Thank you. Are you okay?"

"I love you too." he whispered and hugged her. "You're so beautiful."

She laughed, a soft breath of sound against his neck as her fingers traced patterns on the small of his back. "So didn't answer my question, stud. You okay? Gonna be up to meeting me tonight?"

"Always," He smiled, "You need to go be with your teammates and celebrate," he reminded her. "Who are you sharing a room with anyway?"

"Couple of the new Cheerios. I haven't really bothered to get to know them." She shrugged, "Brittany tried to share a room with me, but I got out of it because the JV captain had to stay with the JV team. She's really getting pushy lately. It's annoying."

"Want me to kick her ass?" Quinn asked, "Tell her that you're mine and she needs to step the fuck off?"

Santana smiled but shook her head. "Sexy as possessive you is, she's still my friend, Quinn. I can handle her." She stroked a hand down his chest, "And besides, you're the only one with access to all this," she ran her hand down her body with a smirk. "Which I hope you'll take more proper," the hand on his chest slid down to grip his package, pressing it into his body as she purred into his ear, "advantage of tonight."

"I plan to," he smirked. "I'll come to your room when I can get out after your parents fall asleep." he smiled and took her hand and led her out of the closet. "I'm so proud of you, San."

Her smile was slightly bittersweet. "Would have been better with you there too. But I get why you couldn't. And you were watching so it was almost as good." She leaned up and kissed him softly, leaning into him and not caring who saw.

He smiled and got back on his crutches to keep up with her on the way to the elevator. "Go party with the Cheerios. I'm gonna take a nap and get some strength for tonight."

"Eat something too," Santana suggested with a smirk, "maybe some carbs and protein. Gotta keep your energy up," she leaned in for another kiss before whispering against his lips, "cause, baby, I wanna ride your dick until I can hardly walk." She pulled away, licking her lips with a dark gaze, waving her fingers at him as she backed into the elevator to head up to the floor the Cheerios were on. "See you soon, stud."

"Bye, baby," he smiled and headed off to the hotel room to shower and lay down until he was to meet Santana's parents for dinner and then meet up with Santana later that night.

Santana had just started getting out of her Cheerios uniform after the celebration ended, sliding her spankies off and tossing them at her bag, when the door clicked open. Figuring it was one of her roommates, she didn't think anything of it, sitting on the bed and starting to unlace her sneakers. "The other bed's yours, I'm not arguing about it."

When the bed sank down behind her, she slammed her foot down on the floor. "What the fuck is it about the other bed's yours don't you get, newbie!?" When lips met her neck and thin pale arms that most decidedly did not belong to her boyfriend wrapped around her neck, she nearly jumped out of her skin. "This is not cool, cut it out!"

"Come on, San," Brittany's familiar voice purred in her ear as a hand slid through the folds of her skirt to cup her core, "I know how hot you get after a good performance. Just let me help you. It'll be like old times..."

Santana freaked out, gripping Brittany's wrist hard and shoving her away. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Brittany?! I'm dating someone! This is so not cool!"

Brittany laughed, smiling at her and pulling off her top to reveal she'd forgone wearing a bra again. "Oh, whatever. You're dating a boy and I know you're not into boys. Besides, the plumbing's different so it's not cheating anyway." She reached out to pull Santana into a kiss.

Santana sputtered and shoved her off. "Stop it, Brittany!"

"No, I'm gonna make you feel better," Brittany whispered, using her superior strength to pull Santana into a kiss, biting her lip.

Santana shoved hard, knocking her back to the bed. "I said cut it out, Britt!"

Brittany just smirked and started getting up. "Ooh... you know I like it when you're rough and playing hard to get, Sanny..."

Santana's eyes widened and she ran into the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it. She shivered as she heard Brittany pounding on the door, biting her lip and realizing that her best friend just didn't care what she wanted. Fumbling her phone out she sent a text to Quinn.

911! B crazy! In my room! Tried to sex me, Q! :(((

Quinn's phone vibrated near his head. He had showered and was laying on the bed reading a book, while Santana's parents drifted to sleep. He thought this was the go ahead to kick off their night, but when he saw the text he quickly jumped up. He didn't even care that he was bare from the waist up and his baggy sweatpants and tight boxers did little to hide his appendage as he barreled down the hallway and into the elevator.

He punched the button for the eleventh floor and fumed as he limped down the hallway towards room number 1105 when it finally let him out. He lifted his hand and pounded his fist against the door.

Brittany took her time answering the door, not even bothering to put a top back on before pulling it open. When she saw some guy standing outside the door, she raked her eyes over his taut body and the scars covering his chest with a smirk, not even bothering to look past the shaggy hair falling over his face. "Hot. You here to join in? Cause it'd be really fun to fuck you I bet."

"Shut up." He snapped, "Where is my girlfriend?" He demanded pushing on the door his muscles flexing as he worked to push past Brittany.

She pouted at him. "You're no fun. What are you even talking about? No one in this room is dating any guys." She smirked, running her finger along the door frame, "But we're up to having fun if that's what you're into."

"I'm pretty sure Santana is," he grumbled. "Listen, I'm not interested in slutty girl's throwing themselves at me. So please move so I can find my girl."

"Really, baby?" She smirked, her eyes lingering on the bulge in his pants, reaching up to play with one of her breasts, "I think you already found her. Come on, San's busy. Why not play with me for a while?" She parted the folds of her skirt, showing off that she wasn't wearing anything else. "I'm really flexible. Guys like that..."

"Ew, Brittany!" He recoiled, "Fucking get Santana!" He yelled, "I don't wanna see your nasty cum soaked cunt, okay? Go fuck someone else!"

She frowned, peering at him. "Hey, how do you know my name? Do I know you? I'm pretty sure I'd remember scars like that..."

With that Quinn pushed Brittany back, and entered the room. "Get out of my way."

"Hey!" Brittany yelled, falling back to land on the floor beside the door, glaring at the boy stalking across the room towards the bathroom. "You can't push me around like that! I'll find out who you are! I'll get you in trouble like I did Q! I'm not stupid! San loves me! She said so!"

Quinn stopped. "What did you do to Quinn?" He growled.

Brittany smirked, climbing to her feet and assuming she'd gotten the winning hand. "I sent pictures to her dad. I knew he'd be unhappy 'bout what she was doing with Sanny. She probably got really grounded. That's what happens when people mess with what's mine!"

Quinn turned around, "Y-you did it?" he asked, his voice shaking. "You stupid, selfish little bitch!" He yelled, "I didn't get grounded!!"

"W-what?" Brittany backed up into the wall, looking scared for the first time. "What are you talking about? Y-you're not Quinn."

Before Quinn could do anything he'd regret, the bathroom door flew open with a bang and Santana hurled herself out to wrap her arms around Quinn waist and hold him back. "Don't do it, baby. Don't. She's not worth it." She glared over Quinn's shoulder at the taller girl. "She's not worth anything. She's just a stupid bitch. Don't, baby."

"W-what? San..." Brittany's face slowly crumpled at the attack from the person she'd thought was her best friend. "You... you don't mean that..."

"He... See these scars?" he motioned to his chest, "That's where my dad decided to slice me open with a dull letter opener." He hissed, "Where he decided that I didn't get to make a decision on how I present myself to the world. Where he decided that he'd cut my breasts off then he'd beat me until I lost enough blood to pass out. That he'd break my ribs, shatter my knee and cut off all of my hair so I couldn't be in the world without everyone knowing my shame!" he yelled, his body shaking with anger. "That he beat my mom and made her have to run away and leave me to find a way to the hospital half fucking dead!"

"I... I didn't know," Brittany whispered, sinking to the floor as she stared up at the ruin of someone who had once been her friend. "I didn't know he would... I thought he was nice. He was always nice to me... I thought he'd ground you, Quinn. That's all..."

"Yeah, well he didn't so fuck off, Brittany," Santana growled, pressing herself into Quinn's back and trying to calm him down. "This is all your fault. You're the reason I didn't get to compete with the person I love! You're the reason I had to sit by a fucking hospital bed thinking he was going to die! So fuck you!" Tears were streaking her cheeks, but she tried to keep it together for Quinn. "Go away and leave me alone, Brittany. I don't ever want to see you again." She shook her head, burying her face in Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn turned and wrapped his arms around Santana's waist, whispering softly into her ear trying to soothe her. After a few moments of comfort he turned to Brittany. "He tried to kill me because I was different," he swallowed. "I could have been okay until I got to college... but because you were jealous of not being with Santana you decided to try to ruin my life."

"I... I'm sorry, Quinn. I didn't mean..." Brittany's voice trembled. "I... I didn't. Really... I just wanted you grounded... just punished a little for stealing her from me..."

"She wasn't yours!" Quinn snapped, "You threw her away for Artie!" He reminded the girl, "You can't have everything. She can't have meant much to you since you tried to jump me when I showed up at the door."

"Stop being mean to me!" Brittany cried, "It's not my fault your dad hurt you! It's not my fault you tricked me! Stop being mean!"

Santana just shook her head, pressing her face into Quinn's back. "Quinn, let's go. Let's just go. She's not worth it. I want to go. Please?"

"Stop being a child," he spat and took his girlfriend's hand. He grabbed Santana's bag and carried it with them. "Anything else you need?"

Santana shook her head. "I just don't want to be here, okay? I don't want to be near her right now."

He lifted the bag over his shoulder then escorted her out of the room.

They'd been walking down the hall for a couple minutes when Santana stopped, reaching out an gripping Quinn's hand. "I don't want to go back to my parents," she whispered. "Can... can we go to the car, Quinn? Like we'd planned? I just," she sighed softly, "I want to forget that all happened. I just... can I just belong to you tonight?" She looked up at him pleadingly, wanting him to erase the awful feeling Brittany's pushy attempts at sex had given her.

Quinn nodded, his mind in a daze. His friend - someone he'd known for years - sent photos to his father. And didn't even seem guilty. "Yeah, let's go," he replied tugging her outside, shivering slightly from the brisk night air against his bare chest.

"I hate her," Santana whispered, pressing against his side, an arm around his waist - half supporting him almost unconsciously as tears trickled down her cheeks. "She... I can't believe she did that. And... and... God, I actually thought she'd rape me if I didn't get out of there. How... What happened to her?"

Quinn shrugged. "I don't want to think about her again," he said as he unlocked the car and slid in the back hatch. He had laid out a blanket earlier and a rose. "I wish this wasn't tainted by her."

Santana smiled softly as she saw the blanket and rose. Her lip caught between her teeth as she reached for the flower. "Quinn," she breathed, looking up at him with a teary-eyed smile. "You... for me? For..." She shook her head, reaching up to wipe away the tears in her eyes. "I love you. So much, baby. I don't... I don't want to think about any of what happened a little bit ago. Just... make me yours, baby. Please? I don't want to think. I'm yours. Completely. Whatever you want."

"I love you too." He smiled and leaned in a kissed her. "Lay back okay?" he asked as he ran his hands up and down her bare thighs. "I've always loved this uniform on you, you know."

"Really?" she whispered, lying back on the blanket, her hair loose around her shoulders after taking it down while getting changed before she was interrupted. "You ever thought of doing this with me like this then? Cause I'd kinda like to see your fantasies, baby. Just tell me what to do."

He slid his hands up her thighs and tugged down her panties. He unzipped her top and pulled it aside before tugging down Santana's skirt. "Baby, you're stunning." He whispered as he leaned down to kiss her abs. "You're my fantasy."

She laughed slightly breathlessly as she let him strip her bare, "You mean to tell me you never thought about getting to fuck me like this before we were together? Never? And here I thought I'd get to see some of the kinky stuff you dreamed up," she teased. "I mean, come on, years of repression? Gotta be some kinky hidden up in that head of yours."

"You stared in my first wet dream." He replied, his tongue tracing her bellybutton. "You and me... alone at the pond at cheer camp," he told her.

"Your first? Damn straight. But the pond?" she whispered, watching him, "What we do? Show me, baby."

"I saw you in that white bikini." He replied as he traced his tongue up her abs, "I saw you coming out of the cold water and your nipples were so hard." He moaned remembering, "I went back to my bed that night and dreamed about stripping you naked and sucking on your tits."

She shivered, but kept herself from reaching for him, letting him have control. "R-really? How? Did you mark me?"

He laughed softly and moved down to kiss the marks he left earlier on her thighs. "I think I marked you earlier."

She blushed, watching him. "I liked it," she whispered softly. "I like when you're rough with me... when you're possessive... I feel like I belong to you. No one else can take me."

"We belong to each other." He smiled and leaned up and kissed her. "I love you so much." He kissed her softly and parted her legs as she arched up against him.

She moaned at the pressure of his hips between her legs, but she was starting to get frustrated. "Quinn, I love you, but I'm trying to give you control here. I want you to take control. Please, baby. I know I'm not good at this being submissive shit, but I wanna try with you..."

"I don't know how to control," he whispered against her neck. "I don't know how to do that."

"I know," Santana whispered into his ear, her hands finally coming up to stroke his back. "But I want to give it to you. I want you to have control over me like this at least sometimes, so even when things are fucking insane in our lives, you've got me. I just... I want to let go with you and know you can take control of me... just like I can do for you when you need it, baby."

"Santana..." He whispered, "Can.. Can I just make love to you?"

She nodded, kissing him softly. "Always, baby. We can work on this another time, okay? Just love me for now."

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he peppered kisses across her chest. "I love you."

"Don't be sorry," she smiled, watching him and running her fingers through his hair. "I love you too. I just wanted you to know if you need it... you have it with me, okay?" She reached down and tugged at his sweatpants. "You ever going to take these off though?" she teased softly, changing the subject.

"Horny," he teased before working on pulling his pants off. His dick nestled in his briefs rubbed against her as he leaned down and took her nipple into his mouth. He sucked it slowly, just wanting to feel apart of her inside a part of him.

She groaned, fingers tightening slightly in his hair. "God, I love it when you do that, baby," she whispered, her chest heaving as she panted for breath.

He kept his touch light, every so often running his teeth over the sensitive nub. She shuddered under the teasing touch, her body enflamed with want. For a moment, she almost protested, but then she smiled, licking her lips.

"God, yes," she moaned, arching her chest up for him. "Yes, Quinn... oh God..."

"Am I gonna make you come from just this?" he asked. "Will sucking on your tit make you come?" He switched to her other breast lifting up his body so no part of him touched her but his mouth.

"I don't know," she admitted softly, her breath coming in short gasps, "I've... I've never tried. But I'm willing to find out." She felt like she was on fire from the teasing. "God, Quinn..."

He bit down on the taunt peak, before soothing it with his tongue. "I just wanna get you wet for me," he explained as he brought his hand down to stroke his member through his briefs.

"God!" she yelped as the bite sent an electric bolt through her body, "S-sometimes I think I'm always wet for you, baby. Did," she panted for breath, "did you know I used to get fucking drenched watching you at practice? God damn you have a fine ass."

"I used to see you watching and think about what your lips would look like around my dick," he said rolling to the side and stroking himself.

"I could show you if you want," Santana whispered, rolling to face him, nipples hard and smooth core glistening with her arousal, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips. "I might even have some flavored condoms in my skirt pocket just in case..."

"If you want... I know you don't like it." He shrugged as he ran his hand over his own chest. "One day... you'll get to suck my real dick... someday."

"Really?" she asked reaching for her pocket to fumble out a condom packet that claimed it was cherry flavored. "That'll be cool." She leaned in to kiss him softly, "You have no idea how much I'd like you to come in my mouth someday, baby."

He groaned at the thought, "I want that so bad." He said as he watched her take over stroking him. "It won't taste like plastic then."

"No," she whispered, pushing his briefs off so he was nude and running her hand over his shaft, "it'll taste like you, so it'll be amazing. It's always amazing when part of you is inside me, baby."

He nodded and watched her roll the condom over him. "I love you," he reminded her as he helped gather her hair as she leaned down to lick his length.

She smiled up at him, her lips barely an inch from the latex covered tip of his cock. "I know," she whispered, "I love you too."

As the words left her lips, she took a breath and carefully took the head of his cock into her mouth. Rolling her eyes up, she watched him as she sucked, hollowing her cheeks and sliding a little further down until she gagged slightly, making her slide back off a bit. She wrapped her hand around the base of his shaft and pumped him as she sucked the tip, pushing it back into his body in a way she knew could give him pleasure.

He groaned, his hips rising up and a hand tangling in her hair. "Fuck," he groaned, "so sexy." He guided her head as she sucked, being careful not to choke her.

She moaned around his cock as she worked it. It didn't taste like him, but at least it didn't taste like rubber either thanks to the flavored condom and she subconsciously made a mental note to stock up on them for moments like these. Breathing deeply, she deep throated him for an instant before she started to gag and had to back off again. She pulled away, leaving his member slick with saliva, but continuing to slowly pump him as she licked her lips.

"How's that, Q?" She smirked up at him, using her free hand to wipe away a bit of saliva from the corner of her mouth with the tip of her finger. "Live up to your fantasy?"

"You never disappoint," he said as he grabbed her and pulled her up. "I want you to ride my dick," he said as he leaned in between then and positioned his head at her opening.

She shifted so her knees rested on either side of his body, teasing herself with the tip of his cock. This was the start of what she wanted from him. The confidence to tell her what he wanted from her. She pulled his hands to rest on her hips as she licked her lips, looking down at him. "Guide me, baby."

He left his hands on her slim hips as he shifted his hips to slide the grooved head into her body. "Tight," he mumbled, always in awe about how hard he had to work to push inside because of how tight his girlfriend's muscles were around his cock but wishing most of all that he could feel it. "Think your pussy can swallow it all?"

Santana smirked down at him, her eyes flickering as he slid inside. "Quinn, I can take anything you can dish out. You think you can challenge me?" she teased.

"Maybe," he smirked. "Maybe I just like talking dirty to you." He shrugged and arched his hips and sheathed himself all the way inside her with a grunt.

"F-fuck!" Her breath caught in a sharp gasp as he filled her, the head of his cock just tapping the wall of her cervix as his shaft ground along her g-spot. "I like it," she panted, struggling to control herself. "I like when you talk like that with me."

"Look how much this turns you on." He smirked, "Me being six inches inside you, making you writhe on my dick." He said as he stopped moving his his hips with a smirk.

Her eyes widened in shock as she stopped. "D-don't stop! Why'd you stop?" She tried to roll her hips, to ride him, but the hands on her hips kept her in place. "Q-quinn," she begged, her voice trembling, "please..."

"Because you don't get to do everything you want sometimes," he said. "It's better if you wait until it's given to you."

"Quinn," Santana gasped, looking down at him with lust-darkened eyes as she realized what he was doing. She trembled above him, impaled on his cock, walls rippling along its length as she fought with her urge to move. Finally, she nodded jerkily, not caring she could probably be seen sitting naked over her lover with his cock filling her completely, nipples achingly hard, through the windows of the SUV by anyone walking by. "Okay," she whispered, nodding again. "I'm yours. You're in charge, captain."

"Such a good girl," he smirked and brought his hands up to her chest. "Now tell me what you'd like."

"You," she panted, her body straining as she fought to keep herself still. "I want you to t-touch me, Quinn. Just... I'm yours. I want to give you your," she gasped as her body trembled, "your fantasies. I want... I want to live your wet dreams, baby."

"You are my fantasy," he groaned and rolled his hips once. "I used to watch you and think about you all the time. Your legs, your breasts, your lips..." he smiled, "How sexy you were when you get pissed at me..."

Santana smirked, though it trembled slightly as she tried to restrain the whimper that wanted to burst out when he slid out and back in with that single teasing roll. "G-getting pissed was easy. Meant I got to t-touch you. P-press against you..."

"You wanted me to take you right then and there in front of all of our teammates," he growled as he rolled his hips again. "Wanted me to take out all my aggression and frustration on you and your pussy."

"Yes," she hissed, her hands flat on his chest, palms sliding over his nipples, "fuck yes. I just wanted to belong to you." She panted, the slow pace of their joining driving her nearly insane with want, "Y-you could have bent me over the bench on the sidelines and fucked my ass even. When I found out you had this big ass cock, I'd imagine you fucking me on the bench in the locker room. Just spreading my legs and stretching the shit outta my dripping pussy with everyone watching I wanted you so fucking bad, Quinn."

"You have me," he replied, thrusting three times hard into her core. "You're mine forever."

"Good," she gasped, her breasts bouncing with the force of each thrust, her head falling back with a low moan. It didn't matter that she had a dick filling her and the chest under her hands was flat and ropy with scars. It was Quinn and that was far more important to her than his gender. Maybe women usually hit her buttons, but he somehow managed to tap them all just being himself. She ground down into his pelvis, pushing his member into his body. "F-fuck I love you..."

"I love you too," he growled as he kept thrusting with a force that filled the car with loud thumps and the sound of squishy organs melding together. He was panting and trying to give her everything he knew she wanted, trying to make her remember that he was inside her even if he wasn't. He wanted her to know that no one else would ever touch her like this.

"Fuck," she keened softly, rolling her hips to ride him. "My tits, Q," she panted, "squeeze my tits..." She arched her back, full breasts pointing towards the roof of the car as it rocked from the force of their joining. She wanted his hands on her, wanted him to watch her climax while she rode him, her juices coating his dick and her thighs.

He reached up and clamped the tips down with his forefinger and thumb. "Scream my name when you come."

"Fuck," she gasped, riding him hard, her body edging closer and closer to climax, "I... I don't know if I can, Q!"

"You'll scream my name," He said, stopping all movements.

"Quinn, please," she gasped, nearly in tears from how ready her body was, "please don't stop. I'll try. I'll try, I promise."

"Good girl," he said as he sped up his thrusts again. He pounded into her body, until his chest sheened with sweat and his muscles hurt from effort. "Come for me," he demanded as he twisted her nipples.

"Oh God, Quinn," she gasped, her body glistening with sweat as she writhed above him, her body tensing as she neared her orgasm. "Oh God... God," she panted, moaning until he twisted his hips and somehow raked his head directly over where she needed it. Her head slammed back as her body bowed above his in orgasm. "Q-quinn!" she squeaked, unable to get any more breath for a louder cry as her body shuddered through climax at his hands.

Quinn whimpered and shuddered, the movement caused his member to press directly against his engorged clit. He gasped and came softly with her.

"Oh God," she finally gasped as her orgasm released her to slump down against his chest, his dick still buried in her sopping core, "God, Quinn... and you said you didn't know how to take control," she laughed softly, stroking a hand over his chest.

He tried to catch his breath as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I thought I'd give it a shot." He chuckled softly as he held her.

"You're good, Cap," she whispered with a smirk, shifting her hips and inadvertently pressing his cock into his clit as it shifted with her. "I like this. Being like this with you..."

"Shit," he groaned. "Baby, careful," he whispered, rolling his hips to get the base's pressure off his clit. "You're so amazing. I love being with you like this too."

She shuddered as the roll dragged his dick through her sensitive pussy. "Oh," she gasped. "Q, unless you want to go for round two, you better be careful yourself."

"Mmm. Too tired for round two," he said honestly, nuzzling her neck and holding onto her body. "You are so stunning."

"Mmm, I know," she smirked, kissing the long scar across the top of his chest, "aren't you lucky you caught me?"

"So lucky," He whispered, "I love you so much, and I'll protect you from all the bad people in the world."

She looked up at him through the loose tangle of her hair with a lopsided smile. "Do I get to protect you from them too?"

"If you want," he said softly. "But, I'm the boy... shouldn't I protect my girl?"

"It's the twenty first century," Santana smirked, resting her head on his shoulder, "girls can protect boys too. Way to be sexist, Q." She shifted her hips slightly, "Mmm... I think I kinda like being able to lay here with you in me. Feels... right." She leaned up and kissed his jaw.

"Not being sexist," he mumbled. "Doing what Disney movies told me." He smiled and kissed her shoulder, "I know you're big and strong and can protect me. But, just by loving me you protect me."

"Good," she whispered snuggling with him for a moment before sighing. "We need to go back inside, baby. Much as I'd love to lay like this and feel you in me all night, I don't want to deal with the scandalized outrage of my mom and dad finding us tangled up like this." She kissed him gently then carefully rose up off of him, letting out a gasp as his head slipped free of her tight channel. She whimpered softly at the feeling of loss, but smirked down at him. "Come on, Q. You wanna fuck me all night, we can wait until college and sharing a room together, right?"

"Alright, alright." He smiled and grabbed the harness he was wearing and slid it off and put it in the bag in the corner of the back of the SUV. He wiped himself off with the blanket then offered it to her. He pulled out two pairs of pajama pants and handed one to her and slid another on himself before handing her one of his white v-neck t-shirts before pulling on himself. "I planned ahead."

"Now see? That's fucking sexy. I didn't have to worry about anything but you and me doing the wild thing in the back here," Santana smirked as she cleaned off, accidentally getting some of her essence on her fingers. "Hey, baby. Taste?" she held them out to him as she knelt beside him.

He leaned in and took her fingers into his mouth and licked them clean. "You taste good." He smiled and licked his lips before rubbing his knee and sliding out of the back of the car. He offered her his hand and slung the bag over his shoulders, "Bed time for beautiful Cheerios."

"Mmm, handsome ex-Cheerios too." She finished wiggling into the clothes and crawled out after him, grabbing a can of air freshener and liberally spraying the back. "I so don't want awkward comments about the car smelling like sex."

He laughed and took her hand, limping as they walked back into the hotel. "I love you."

"I love you too, now stop being so damn macho and lean on me," she shook her head, getting his arm over her shoulders and helping to support his bad knee, "I know you oughta be on your crutches right now. Come on. I don't care if Sue gets mad. I'm spending the night in your arms. Screw the damn Cheerios."

"I'm not letting you go back to that room with Brittany," he said, as he moved with her. He got inside and hit the elevator button and pulled the key card out of his bag. "Just don't wake your parents. I'm not explaining this."

"What's to explain? Half the time I sneak in to crash in my parents' room after competitions anyway." She smirked at him as the doors opened and they headed down the hall to her parents' room. "I can't sleep worth a damn with those noisy ass underclassmen around me. You being there this time is total bonus for me."

He smiled and put the bag down once they got into the room. He quickly went to take his medication and brush his teeth before he went back over to the bed silently and lifted the sheets for her. She smiled at him, crawling in between the cool sheets and opening her arms to wait for him to slide into bed with her. Once he was in the bed beside her, she wrapped an arm around his chest and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You tell anyone I'm this soft and I'll cut you," she teased with a yawn as she cuddled into his side. "Not that anyone would believe you anyway."

"Most people wouldn't believe I'm a boy now... so we're even." He smiled regretfully, "Go to sleep baby." He whispered, before closing his eyes and cuddling her close.

"You too," she yawned, her eyes falling closed and breathing evening out as she fell asleep.