Dare to be Aware - Chapter Nineteen

[thelastpen]

Title: Dare to be Aware
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: Hard NC-17
Length: 81,106
Spoilers: AU
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, past Brittany/Santana, Brittany/Artie mentions, Blaine/Sam, past Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Sam bearding, past Blaine/Kurt
Summary: What does it take to find your own identity? How much pain can you endure in the process?
Warnings (highlight to read): Gender Dysphoria, Violence against Trans, Trans Character, Explicit Sexual Content, Domestic Violence, Graphic Severe Violence, Hospitals, Transitioning, Rough Sex, Potentially dub-con/non-con situations, Abandonment

Chapter 19

After Santana had to leave on Monday for an early morning Cheerios practice, Maria was bustling around the house getting ready to head to Spencerville to open her family's restaurant for the lunch rush. When she noticed Quinn moping about in his room as she passed by again, she paused and backtracked, poking her head in with a friendly smile. Maybe she wasn't entirely certain how to feel about her daughter's girlfriend really being her boyfriend and living in their house on top of it, but there was something about the quiet, sad teen that plucked at her heart strings and made her want to take care of him.

"Hey, Quinn," she called out, her voice still faintly tinged with her mother's native Spanish and her father's Chicago dialect, "how do you feel about learning some of what your Santana already knows today, sweetheart?" She chuckled softly at his confused expression, "Where do you think she spends her summer, mijo? It's up to you, but I don't know how much fun you'll have sulking around here by yourself today."

"I... I don't wanna stay by myself," he admitted softly. "Are you sure? I won't get in the way?"

"Not at all. In fact," Maria chuckled, heading into the bedroom she shared with her husband to find one of his pairs of khaki cargos and tossing them to Quinn when she came back, "I'm of a mind to put you to work. You know about our restaurant, yes?"

He shook his head and quickly undressed in the bathroom. "I don't, ma'am."

"Why that little imp, keeping things from you! My family owns the Mexican restaurant in Spencerville and have for nearly three generations now. Maybe you've heard of it? La Casita Hernandez?" Maria looked for a shirt for him in the hall closet, but didn't have any luck, "We'll have to find you a shirt there, but my Santana has worked there summers and breaks for spending money for most of high school. Those pants should be big enough to slide over your brace I think," she called through the door, "are they?"

He nodded absently and came out of the bathroom with his shirt off and putting the ointment on his stitches. "I never really asked what she did outside cheerleading." Quinn said softly, "not like I was allowed to hang out with her on the weekends or anything." He grabbed the gauze off the table.

"Ah yes, but now you are and perhaps if we can get you up to speed, you would like to work with her this summer?" Maria offered, coming over and helping him rebandage his chest and get his shirt on without stretching the scars too much.

"If... if that's okay. I want to help out, pay you back for like keeping me and whatever." He looked sadly at her and finished pulling his shirt on.

"Sweetheart," Maria shook her head, "you are here because you make our Santana happy and that is something I was beginning to despair of seeing again. And more than that, you are in need of a home and we have one to offer. Perhaps we cannot pay to send you to college as we are doing with Santana, but we can certainly afford to give you a home. If you work at the restaurant," Maria gave him a hug, providing her shoulder for him to lean on after he was dressed so he could get his crutches under him again, "you will do so at the same wage Santana makes doing the same work. And as with Santana, what money you earn after your taxes shall be yours."

"If you are sure, ma'am. If I become a burden, please tell me and I can relocate." He got on his crutches and followed her. "And as for college I'm mostly sure I'm getting a full ride to OSU. I've already been offered the scholarship."

"That's wonderful, Quinn, but please, don't call me ma'am or Ms Lopez," Maria shook her head, heading out to her SUV and opening the passenger door to help Quinn in after loading his wheelchair into the back. "I appreciate the respect you're offering, but my employees all call me Maria and if in the fullness of time you and my Santana become more than simply girlfriend and boyfriend, I would expect you to call me ‘Mom'. And I most certainly am sure. You're not a burden and you not only bring a little more life to the house, but you make my husband and daughter use English more often at home as well. I like it."

Quinn chuckled as he took his pills with water and grabbed his backpack and put it over his shoulders. "I've never had Mexican food, honestly." He looked embarrassed, "My mom cooked always and San and I only have Breadstix." He got in the car with some help. "I think that it must be good," he smiled.

"Well, you are in for a treat then, Quinn," Maria smiled up at him and patted his leg before heading around to the other side of the SUV to get in and buckle up. "Because you'll be having lunch at one of the best Mexican restaurants around Lima, Ohio."

Quinn hobbled in the door of the restaurant. It was a moderate sized dining room adorned with dark mahogany wood and orange coloured walls with photos of various ages scattered around the walls. Some looked to be of exotic landscapes, skylines of cities and Quinn's eye caught one just over his shoulder that seemed to have a familiar face in it. Hobbling over, he smiled as he reached up to trace his fingers lightly over the glass.

There in the image a toddler Santana beamed up at the camera as she stood in between two older people. They must be her grandparents, Quinn thought as he looked at the adorable child version of his lover. He turned back to Maria, as she came in. "This is your family's restaurant?" He asked as he continued looking around. "It's really nice."

"Why, thank you, Quinn," Maria beamed as she pushed his wheelchair into the restaurant. "I like to think we've done a good job. Now, would you sit down so I don't get read the riot act by my husband and your girlfriend when we get home? My Santana said you were stubborn about the chair, but mi Dios!"

"I just don't like it," he shrugged, but sat down in the chair with a soft sigh of relief at getting off the crutches. "I thought Santana said your family was from like Chicago and I kinda thought you were more African-American then Hispanic," He asked, mildly confused. Santana had always touted that her mom was black not Hispanic and her dad was the Hispanic one. "Sorry... I'm just kind of confused." He said softly.

"It's okay," Maria smiled, pushing him back into the office and finding him a burgundy polo with the restaurant's logo embroidered on the breast. "My mother's grandfather was from Mexico and he immigrated to the US in the twenties, eventually bringing his entire family to the States, including my mother who was a teen at the time. My father's black and from Chicago and that's where I'm from, but my mother's family has always lived around here since immigrating."

"That's really cool." Quinn smiled, "My mom has a friend who lives in Chicago she used to talk about it a lot." He pulled the shirt over this t-shirt and smoothed it out. "That's really awesome that your great granddad was from Mexico, and Dr. Lopez is from Puerto Rico." He remembered, "Santana is really proud of her heritage and she talks about her Abuela all the time."

"Mmm," Maria nodded sadly, picking up a picture of a sleeping baby Santana in her mother's arms that she liked to keep on her desk and handing it to Quinn, "my mother was a good, strong woman. Much like her namesake."

"She's beautiful." Quinn smiled, "Your mom and San..." He smiled sheepishly, handing the photo back. "So, she was the one you took over the restaurant from? That's really cool, but it must be really busy for you and Mr. Lopez with him working at the hospital and having Santana too... she's kinda a crazy handful." He smiled fondly.

"It's a good kind of busy and I can be free to be with my Santana more than I could working as a lawyer." Maria smiled at the picture before setting it back on the desk. "But never mind that! Today, we shall start you on the register at the take out counter because you cannot get around well, but if you care for the work, you'll eventually learn to do nearly all the tasks of this place, much like Santana."

She took him out of the office, showing him around and giving him a paper copy of the menu, "When you are waiting tables, people will ask about dishes, so I encourage you to try something new every day. Some will not appeal to you, but some you will love. And knowing the dish will allow you to recommend it or not. So, mijo, would you like to eat lunch first or meet the rest of today's staff?"

"Lunch would be awesome," he smiled as he looked over the menu. "Are you gonna eat something? Can... Can you eat with me?" he asked nervously, he was scared that people at the restaurant wouldn't accept him. "I'm not gonna like take anyone's job will I?"

"Sure, I'll eat with you. And take anyone's job?" She raised a surprised eyebrow, "By training when it's slow so you'll be prepared for the summer rush? No, sweetheart. I hire quite a few kids to wait tables in the summer and half of them aren't worth the cost of their uniform. I'd rather hire someone reliable. Don't worry so much. Now," she gestured at the menu still in his hands, "tell me what sounds good and I'll show you a little something something in the kitchen, what do you say?"

Quinn looked down at the pretty traditional menu. "Um... Can I try the Arroz con Pollo?" He asked seeing that it was rice and chicken with seasoning and a salad of tomatoes and lime and a slice of avocado. "That sounds really good." He looked up realizing he hadn't eaten since the day before at lunch. He hadn't felt good after his doctor's appointment so he had just gone upstairs and ended up watched a marathon of 'Big Bang Theory' with Santana before falling asleep in her bed.

"Sure, I'll even make it myself," Maria smiled down at Quinn as she pushed him through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

When they got in there, a tiny person with shaggy black hair was tying a white bib apron around his waist and shoving a baseball cap backwards on his head. A skateboard was propped up inside the door leading to the back alley and the Dumpster, wheels still spinning lazily. "Luis," Maria chided, "what have I told you about your board?"

The young man jumped, startled turning to look at Maria in surprise, showing off the scraggly attempt at a mustache sprouting on his upper lip. He was slender and looked shorter than Quinn as he ducked his head and blushed. "I'm sorry, Maria. I just got here and didn't think anyone'd be cooking yet," his voice was a soft tenor, like a more mellow version of Kurt's voice.

"You were right, but the no skateboards in the kitchen rule still applies. By the way, this is Quinn. He may be joining us in the summer so he's learning the ropes now while he can't go to school. Quinn, Luis is primarily our dishwasher and busboy, but when it's slow like today he doubles as our cook, Marcus's assistant."

"Oh?" Luis smirked at Quinn, coming over and holding his hand out, "Hey, dude. I'm Luis. Nasty crash?" He nodded at where Quinn's leg was propped out in front of him.

Quinn shook his hand firmly, "Hey, yeah. Crashed out on my skateboard." He shrugged, "Gonna be a rough summer without hitting the park, but what can you do?" He shrugged as he looked at the boy. "That's pretty banging that Mrs. Lopez has you in the kitchen. I can't even make boxed cake, you must got some game." Quinn smiled at him.

"I wash dishes and chop stuff up right now, but I'll be a cook in here some day. Just you wait," he puffed up his not so impressive chest and grinned.

"Okay, Mr Future Cook, how about you show off your skills and chop up the vegetables for the arroz con pollo. Quinn here wants to give it a try and we need to get it going for tonight." Maria chided, pulling an apron over her head before heading over to the sink and scrubbing her hands.

Luis grinned, "Sure, Maria." Running back into the storage, he soon returned with a clear tote of vegetables and ingredients labeled "Arroz con Pollo" on masking tape on the outside. "But you skate too, Quinn? That's pretty cool. Shame about your leg."

"I mean not very well obviously, but yeah," he said as he wheeled himself to the counter so he could watch. "But, yo, it's good to have idea of what you like to do," Quinn stated. "I wouldn't even know what I wanted to do right now if I tried to think about it," he joked.

"Well, most guys aren't as cool as me," Luis joked, washing and chopping the vegetables into neat pieces. "Maybe when your leg's better we could go chill with our boards sometime. Always cool to meet another skater in a town this small."

"Yeah, for sure," he nodded as he took the bottle of water that Maria offered. "Might be awhile, but totally."

"No rush, man," Luis grinned, putting the vegetables in their prep bowls for Maria and heading back to get another box. "Not like we're ancient or anything, right?"

"Less talking, more chopping, Luis!" Maria called, making Luis smirk and roll his eyes but apply himself a little harder to his work.

"Yeah, totally," Quinn nodded as he quickly sent a text to Santana as Maria busied herself with the cooking.

A response came back soon enough, indicating Santana was either in study hall or spending a lot less attention to class than she should be. To Q: Hey, babe. School is boring as hell and Sue is seriously nuts. I miss you being here to keep things real with me. What you up to?

"Whatcha doing?" Luis asked curiously, dicing tomatoes, "Setting up a hot date on a Monday?" He let out a low whistle.

"What have I said about closing your mouth, Luis?" Maria chided from across the room as she checked the heating rice.

I'm at your mom's resturant. I'm stealing yo job. He smiled as he typed and looked up.

"Nah, I'm just talking to my girl." Quinn smiled and went about studying the menu. Luis smirked and continued working on the food for the prep.

"That's cool, you got a girl." Luis was almost jealous that the other boy had a girlfriend, "I need a girl."

Lol you can try. ;) Wants I should come get you after practice lets out since I got your car and all?

"Luis, you will find a girl once you learn it is better to listen than talk," Maria scolded, pointing a spoon at him. "And besides no girl wants to be treated like an object. You should learn from Quinn. He is quite the gentleman. His girl is lucky to have him," she added with a wink for the wheelchair bound boy.

If you want. I'm gonna run the take out counter, she's gonna teach me.

"I've been into her for as long as I can remember." Quinn smiled, "She's kinda the best thing that happened to me, you'll find someone," he said as he looked nervously, noticing that he admitted his attraction to Santana was longer than he had admitted.

Mmm maybe I'll just come by to steal a kiss instead. ;)

"Oh really?" Maria hummed, amusedly, "You see, Luis? A true gentleman, our Quinn."

Luis smiled wistfully, "Maybe Santana will finally agree to date me. I've wanted her forever."

"Lust isn't love, Luis, and Santana has a beau."

I'd like that. You left when I was still in my medication coma :(. Luis wants in your pants baby.

Quinn looked worried for a second. "I.. I think she's happy," He said softly watching Luis look dejected and shrug. He headed in the walk in to grab more stuff then to get working on dishes as Maria finished lunch. "He's gonna not like me now..." Quinn remarked, grabbing silverware and napkins for them both.

"Don't you worry about Luis," Maria reassured him dishing up two small plates of the arroz con pollo. "Santana can handle him. And he'll get over it."

Even as she was heading out of the kitchen back to the staff room to eat, Quinn's phone buzzed with a new text.

Ugh, no kidding. It's kinda gross. He's like my little brother but he still asks me out. Sweet but not my type if you know what I mean. ;)

Quinn laughed at the text as he followed Maria.

Big dicks? I think you like that... and me.

"Thank you, this smells awesome." He said as she sat down and he wheeled up to the table. "So, this is where you are when you're working. San just says work and I pretend I have any idea what she's talking about." He smiled as he took a bite. He groaned and chewed before swallowing and talking. "Oh God, that's good!"

Mmm...just you I think. After all, if you /really/ wanted, you could be any size. Most guys only have the one option and scary side effects.

"Why thank you, Quinn," Maria smiled helping herself to her own portion. "Santana tends to assume you do know what she's talking about if you don't ask though, I've noticed. So, you've met Luis and his schoolboy crush on my daughter. There's only three others to meet now. Marcus the lead cook and his main assistant, Sandy. And Paul who's our waiter tonight. Gary's the other waiter, but he only comes in on weekends when we're busy."

He nodded and ate a few more bites before pulling out his medication and taking it with water. "Hopefully I won't screw up too hard at take out." He remarked, nervous about making a mistake.

truth... but shouldn't you be getting ready for nationals? focus and shit? we can talk about my dick anytime.

Focus? In Schue's Spanish class? Baby, I could teach it.

"Don't worry, Quinn. That's why we call it training." Maria smiled at him, reaching over to pat his shoulder. "It's for making mistakes when you can learn from them."

no mid day practice with sue yet? damn she's letting you guys go this time :P

"I'll do my best..." He said. They ate quietly for awhile before Quinn finished and looked at Maria. "Do... you think I can go to see Santana compete at Nationals with you and Dr. Lopez?" He asked quietly, "I can pay my own way... I just wanna see her win for the last time with our team."

"Pay your..." Maria rolled her eyes, "Sweetheart, we're driving behind the bus but you are certainly welcome to ride along and share our room. I'm sure Santana would be thrilled to see you there."

That's /next/ period, thanks. And she was saying something about working through the end of the day. I'm gonna be /so/ sore...

I'll rub your shoulders and legs and keep you company while you bathe.

"Thanks, I still wanna share that moment with her you know?" He sounded sad, cheerleading had been a big part of life for as long as he could remember. "I'm really proud of her and wanna cheer her on."

"Of course," Maria nodded, before turning back to her dish, knowing her daughter was worried about performing some of the moves without Quinn to catch her.

I was thinking of a little more intimate of a relaxation technique, actually. Think you could kiss the sore spots better? ;)

of course. anything for you

When Santana came in a couple of hours later still in her Cheerios uniform, she grinned to see Quinn looking neat in her family's restaurant's familiar burgundy polo and khaki cargos sitting behind the takeout register in his wheelchair. "Hey, baby," she smirked, sauntering over behind the counter and sitting in his lap. "Miss me?"

Quinn smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and nodded. "Yes, I did. How was Cheerios?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," she relaxed back against him. "Seriously, I think they actually have to try to suck that bad sometimes." She rubbed her thighs with a soft groan, "My legs are killing me. Sue had us running suicides and kill-the-rabbits for the last hour of practice because freaking Jody almost brought the whole pyramid down again. I swear, she makes one more mistake and I'm either kicking her off the squad or getting Sue to demote her to JV and getting one of the freshmen who at least know how to listen."

"I'm sorry, baby." Quinn sighed, "What I always did with her was have her watch then she gets how to do it." He rubbed Santana's knees as he talked, "When we get home, I'll massage you okay? Get you feeling better."

"That's so not cutting it anymore," Santana shook her head, but eventually gave into the relaxing feeling of her boyfriend's soft hands on her legs and leaned into him. "Oh that sounds nice," she purred, turning her head to kiss the corner of his jaw. "Will you kiss the sore away?" she teased, letting her eyes close for a moment and just breathing the warm spicy scent of Old Spice coming from his skin. "Mmm, you smell good."

"Yes." He replied, "I will get you in a bath, then rub you down and kiss everything better," he said as he held her close. "I don't want you to be in pain."

"Good," she whispered, cuddling into his chest with a smile as if they were at home and not her family's restaurant. "I like that."

Neither of them noticed Luis walk into the area until he dropped his - thankfully empty - bussing tray with a loud clatter. "Holy shit!" he yelped, "Q, you're dating Santana?! My Santana? Maria's Santana??"

Quinn looked panicked at the loud clatter. "Luis!" He yelped his hands coming away from Santana.

Santana looked first startled by the noise, startling upright, then hurt that Quinn pulled away from her. The emotions were only there for a second but she bit her lip with a sigh and stood up. "Luis, you gotta stop dropping shit. You're lucky that tray was empty or you know my mom would have taken the costs out of your pay."

"You're dating Quinn, San?" Luis looked hurt and let down.

She didn't even hesitate. "Yes. Now cut the hurt puppy look and get to work."

Quinn hid behind her and rested his head against her back. He was nervous and didn't want any issues with anyone. When Luis finally gathered his tray back up and headed back into the back, Santana sighed softly and let her arrogant posture relax.

"Quinn," she whispered, not turning around, "are... are you ashamed of being with me? I mean... if you are, that's okay. Lots of guys like you wouldn't want to be seen as dating a Latina like me." She didn't want to look at him. She knew that Puck had gone after Lauren because being seen with someone as dark as her reflected badly on him in a town as small as Lima, while even someone as huge as Lauren was better because she was white. "I can... I don't know. Just... whatever."

"No! San! God, no!" He exclaimed, "I can't believe you think that." He was kinda hurt, "I should be thinking of you being with a freak like me!" He kissed the nape of her neck. "I didn't want him to be mad. I love being with you."

She rubbed at her arms and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. When we're alone anyway. I'm not dumb, Q. I can tell when someone doesn't want someone to think we're together. And it's usually something about me when guys act like that. So what is it? Am I too tan? Maybe my hair's too black?" She sounded bitter and hurt, "Maybe it's cause I'm a lesbian. Why am I not good enough for you to be proud enough to acknowledge that I'm your girlfriend?"

"Stop." Quinn demanded. "Just stop now. I want to be with you. I'm sorry if my issues are causing you doubt. I love being with you, I love it because you're amazing and beautiful. I'm proud of you and I'm just not used to being a boy in public. It's only been like two weeks for me... I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you're not a lesbian. I remember," she sighed softly, turning around. "But I still wish you wouldn't pull away like you're scared all the time." She managed a lopsided smile. "It wasn't even anyone important. Luis has been after me forever and it's not my fault he thinks he's got some kind of chance. I've always turned him down flat."

"It has nothing to do with my sexuality, San. I went from only being me behind closed doors to being me all the time. It's scary for me, San. I'm so happy I have you because it's not as scary when you're around... But I'm scared everyone can see through me."

"I know it's scary, Quinn," she frowned slightly sitting back on his lap, grateful that they weren't very busy at the moment, "but do you ever think that maybe I'm scared too? Thanks to Finn I had to come out of my carefully constructed closet and listen to everyone talking about how accepting they are of me. Never mind that I didn't want to come out. That I wasn't ready." She shrugged. "And then suddenly, I had a chance with you... and you're a guy."

"I know. I know," he whimpered, his hand taking hers. "But can we just... Can we just be scared together?" He said softly, "I can't lose you. I... just can't," he admitted truthfully. "Can we figure it out together?"

"Isn't that what we're doing?" She asked softly, leaning in to kiss him. "I know I'm not exactly Lima's most outstandingly heterosexual girl, but I'm up for trying with you if you could maybe try to not jump out of your skin because someone sees us cuddling or holding hands," she tried teasing. "Because if you keep that up, I might start biting."

"I like when you bite." He teased softly, "I'm sorry... I didn't realize my insecurities were hurting you too." He kissed her shoulder. "I'll be better for you."

"I know you do," she teased. "And I know you'll try, but don't stress over it, okay? I know I'm a bitch and all, but even I won't force someone to change all at once."

He smiled and cuddled her until a customer came in and she helped him run the register. Quinn laughed softly and bagged up the person's food before turning back as Santana came back closer. He held her hips and leaned his head into her stomach. "Your mom said I can come watch you at Nationals."

"Damn straight, you're coming to Nationals!" Santana snorted, running her fingers through his hair, nails lightly scratching his scalp as she stood between his legs. "I've had this urge to kiss my cap on TV after we win senior year - and no doubt secure that All Star Cheer scholarship I've been coveting - for years. Wonder what you would have done if I did it while you were still my cap, hmm?"

"Would have kissed you back," he whispered against her uniform. "Would have kissed you and held you." He hugged her.

Santana's breath caught in her throat for a second and she smiled almost wistfully. "You would have? Even though you're not gay?"

"You're you." He smiled, "I like you so I'd kiss you."

"Not as a girl," she smiled lopsidedly, whispering as she remembered the one time she'd tried to act on her attraction to Quinn as a girl, "you didn't like me as a girl. Not like that. You would have pushed me away cause he would have seen. Stupid as it is, that might have hurt worse than in my bedroom."

"That's true... My father is scary, San... He's the only one I'm worried about in regards to us. I'm sorry..." He sighed, "If... if I had to be a girl, I would have tried to be with you in college... But I don't know if I would have been alive, you know."

Santana shook her head. "Don't say things like that. You would have been fine once you got away from him. But if you were a girl," she smiled lopsidedly again, "I wouldn't have had any chance with you. You'd have found some great guy and I'd be lucky to be remembered enough as a friend to get an invite to the wedding. And given the kind of friend I was, I'd be lucky to get to sit in the back of the hall."

"I don't want to talk about it because I was never a girl," he snapped curtly, "I can't give you an answer because it was something I was forced to be. Wanting you as a dude has always been there."

She rolled her eyes. "I know that, Q. I know you're a guy and I wasn't trying to suggest you weren't." She shrugged. "I was just pointing out that I know where I'd stand if you weren't a guy. Calm down and stop snapping at me, okay?"

He sighed, "Sorry. It's been a long day and we're both tired." He looked down ashamed, "I'm sorry."

"Quinn, stop apologizing for everything," Santana sighed. "Especially not for stuff that doesn't need apologies for." She hooked her fingers under his chin and tugged it up until he could see her smirking at him before she leaned in and kissed him. "We gotta work on your confidence, babe."

"Yeah." He sighed and kissed her back. "I'm not very confident yet..." He sighed, "Do you think your mom will let us go home?" He was physically and emotionally exhausted.

"You'll get there and I'm sure Mama will be fine with you heading home. She knows you still get tired." Santana smiled at him. "Let me just go tell her what's going on so she knows to cover this register."

He nodded and cleaned up his workspace and grabbed a menu to study at Santana's house. He rubbed his nose, which was still bruised from Russell's beating and put his glasses on once more. He sighed and looked down at the menu, waiting for Santana.

"Okay, ready to go?" Santana came back over with a smile, Maria ducking out of the office behind her to wave at Quinn. "Getting tired, babe?" she asked softly, leaning in to kiss his cheek before pushing him towards the doors. "Maybe we can just watch TV and cuddle or take a nap for a bit unless you think you'd be comfortable taking a bath with me?"

"My leg can't get wet, baby," he sighed as he waived to Maria and held her bag as they got to his car. He got in the passenger side and helped pull the wheelchair in the backseat with a little effort.

"I know, but maybe we could figure something out?" she suggested, climbing in and reaching for his hand, "Like a bag over it with tape and stuff or propping it on the edge? I don't know I just want to do something where we can both relax and get the sore out."

"We can try the shower bag." He said as he took her hand. "I'd have to hang it over the side," he smiled, "but I'd like that."

She started the car and backed out of the lot, heading back towards Lima and home before responding. "Maybe a shower then? I just," she shrugged, smiling almost shyly, "I'd like to spend some time with you, you know? Just us together and maybe doing things like touching each other without it being sex."

"I think we can manage that." He smiled softly as he looked at her. He kissed her hand and looked out the window. "Then I'll massage you okay?"

Santana smirked. "You just want an excuse to get your hands on my sexy ass body," she teased. "Get me all oiled up for you?"

"Do I ever not want that?" He raised his eyebrow and smiled, looking as they pulled into the driveway. "Leave the chair in here," he said as he got out and hobbled onto the porch.

"Keep that kind of talk up," Santana smirked, getting out and locking up before heading up to the front door, "and there might need to be sex after all." She unlocked the door and helped Quinn in, noting that her dad had already left for his overnight shift at the hospital. "But right now, let's just get wet and naked, shall we?"

He smirked and took his time getting himself up the stairs on his own and following her into the bathroom. He carefully took off the pants and his glasses and polo and folded them on the sink. He sat on the toilet and watched San undress as he took his bandages off and put on his knee covering.

Santana carefully undressed so she wouldn't risk damaging her uniform, hanging up it on the hanger behind the door before turning around. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the livid scars tracing across her lover's flat chest. "Oh God, Q," she breathed, coming over to kneel in front of him and gently brush her fingertips just above the long, angry looking scar across the top of his chest. "I'm so so sorry he hurt you. Does..." her fingertips just barely brushed where the the stitches had been, "this doesn't hurt does it?"

"They hurt..." he said honestly. "Everything kind of hurts all the time." He covered her hand with his. "I don't like looking at it because it reminds me of how much he hates me."

"Well, I like looking at them," she whispered, leaning in to brush her lips over the scar, "because they remind me you got away from him." She kissed the one further down, "And that even that awful son of a bitch couldn't kill my man or take him away from me." She looked up at Quinn from where she knelt nude between his legs, one hand on his bare chest, and smiled, "How about that shower, handsome? I'll wash your hair if you want."

"Okay," he nodded, getting up and working off his boxers and harness. He covered his core and looked at her.

"Quinn," Santana shook her head with a smile, standing up and leaning slightly against him, kissing him softly before continuing, "you know you don't have to hide from me, right? I'm not gonna suddenly think you're a chick and try to fingerfuck you just because your dick is on the counter."

"I didn't think you would," he said, carefully getting in the shower and sitting on the stool that had been put there for him. "It's just weird being bare sometimes."

"I get it," Santana pointed out, getting into the shower behind him and turning the water on after adjusting the spray to be less direct, "but I'm seriously not going to judge you. You're my guy and while it might be intriguing to blow you for real, I'm not a total ass and I'm not gonna force stuff like that." She leaned down and kissed the corner of his jaw as the warm water started flowing over her back and shoulders to spray him as well, "I'm not Puck and you're more important than that stuff."

"I know and that's why you are amazing." He pulled her down so she was on his knee.

Her arms instinctively went around his neck to catch herself against the sensation of falling as he pulled her down. Once she realized she was in his lap though she just shook her head with a smirk. "Hard to get you clean like this, babe," she chuckled, her eyes slightly closed against the spray splashing off his back and into her face, "but I like it." She smiled up at him, water running down her face from her damp hair as she reached up to run her fingers through his short, darkening blonde hair.

"I just like you close." He smiled sucking some water from her shoulder. "I just love being close to you."

"Yeah, it's pretty cool being close to you too," she whispered, encouraging him to tilt his head back and wet his hair as she moved to straddle his hips instead of sitting sidesaddle on his lap. "Come on, babe. Let's get you clean while we're close," she teased, trying to ignore the way her breasts brushed against the firm planes of his bare chest.

He leaned into her, holding her around the waist and letting wash his hair. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too," she smiled as she scratched against the top of his head, working the shampoo into his hair. "School is not nearly as fun without you around. I don't even have a good fight partner anymore! No one throws down like you, after all."

He chuckled, "Mmm, we'll do that when I'm healed." He smirked up at her, his eyes closed as she worked the lather up.

"Oh that sounds fun." She pushed him back under the spray again to rinse the soap out before reaching for conditioner, "Think you can fuck me in a janitor's closet or the bathroom after? Because I always get hot as hell after a fight with you."

"Oh totally," he smirked, "but like I don't think I'm gonna go back to school..." He shrugged, "I can't go back to that place now."

"You gotta graduate, Q. You've got to to come to college with me," Santana looked worried, pulling back to look at him. "I want my best friend to graduate with me..."

"I might see if I can finish with a tutor or online, it's just... I don't wanna go back if I need to be Lucy again... If I have to tell people what happened."

"Oh," Santana sighed softly, massaging the conditioner through his hair. "You'll come though, right? To graduation? You'll at least be there?"

She felt sappy as hell getting bothered by finding out that Quinn wouldn't be in the row ahead of her at graduation like she'd thought or in the senior class photo with her. It was bad enough they weren't in Cheerios together anymore, losing graduation too almost seemed like too much, but she took a breath and held it in. Maybe being with Quinn was making her softer than she liked, but she could still control herself and not let him see how it affected her.

"I will still be at the ceremony and graduate with you if I'm out for medical reasons." He smiled, "I'll still wear the ugly cap and gown with you."

"Really?" Even though she felt slightly ridiculous for reacting that way, Santana smiled brightly, only for the smile to fall a moment later. "Even if you have to be Lucy for the ceremony?" she asked softly.

"I can handle it because it's important to you and my mom," he smiled.

She couldn't help it. Sometimes he just did things that made her want to cry or hug him or both and this time she couldn't resist throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tight. Almost as quickly, she remembered the scars on his chest and jerked back. "Oh shit! Are you okay?"

"It's fine," he smiled up at her, running his hands over her back.

"You're wearing your friend," Santana nodded, smirking. "If you can dress like a girl to graduate with me, then I can make you feel like a man while we're there." She leaned in and kissed him, doing her best to ignore the stimulation to her nipples by pressing her chest against his. "I'll go on my knees under the bleachers for you, baby."

"Mmm," he smiled, leaning into her again despite the dull ache it caused in his chest as she pressed against him, "that sounds amazing." He kissed the side of her neck. "Can I fuck you after you win Nationals?"

"Mmm, please?" Santana chuckled softly, nuzzling the crook of his neck for a moment before encouraging him to lean back under the spray again to get the conditioner out. "I like being with you like this," she whispered, massaging his scalp as she rinsed his hair. "Bare. Not hiding," one of her hands slipped down from his scalp to trace over the skin and muscle covering his heart. "It's... nice."

"It is nice." He smiled, "Though, we're gonna have to fuck in the pool or the hallway at Nationals because I'm gonna be sharing a room with your parents and you'll be with one of the ugly Cheerios," he pointed out as he started washing Santana's hair.

"Mmm, bathroom or Papi's car. I don't want to share you," Santana moaned softly, relaxing into the feeling of having her scalp rubbed. "Oh, God, that feels so good..."

He smiled and massaged her scalp. He kissed her shoulder as he raked his fingers on her skin and then leaned her back before putting in conditioner. "I like washing your hair... I'm gonna do this for as long as I'm allowed okay? Every weekend when we get older I wanna wash your hair and bathe with you."

Santana smirked though her eyes remained closed. "I like that. No sex too or do you think we'll get it on in the shower sometimes?"

"We can always, always get it on." He smiled and nipped her shoulder. He rinsed her hair, "Do you wanna get out and I can massage you?"

"That depends," she leaned forward and nipped at his ear. "Do you promise not to miss any spots? We've got the house to ourselves for a few more hours after all..."

He hummed a soft agreement as he turned off the water and waited for her to get off him and grab a towel before he got up and wrapped himself in a towel. "Baby, dry off and go lay on your bed okay? I'll come in and take care of you."

"Sounds like a plan, babe," Santana smirked, quickly wrapping her hair up into the towel after rubbing off. Her body exposed to her lover's gaze, she smirked at him and sashayed off down the hall, fully aware of how his eyes followed her before she stepped into her room. She sprawled on the bed, her arms and legs reaching for the corners, showing off her waxed core already glistening with arousal and tight ass to the door for her lover to see when he walked in.

Quinn dried off and put his boxers back on before washing and drying his packing dick for the night. He debated putting it back on and in the end put it in the towel and carried his clothing back to the bedroom with him. His breath caught as he saw his lover's body sprawled out on the bed for him to take in. "Shit, San," he whispered, dropping his clothing and walking over to the end of the bed. He grabbed a bottle of lotion and sat near her. "Baby... do you want a Cheerios' massage or a girlfriend's massage?" He smiled before running his hand over her ass.

"Girlfriend," came her muffled reply as she shivered slightly, smirking into the pillow as she turned her head just enough to peek up at Quinn. "Cheerios' would miss too much. I want your hands everywhere, Q."

"I can do both, babe," he whispered, leaning over and kissing the small of her back. "I can relax you, then get those kinks out of your muscles," he explained as he kept kissing up her spine then back down until he reached the swell on her ass. He reached up and grabbed his pillow and got it under her hips so he could reach her better as he ran his hands up and down her legs before spreading them slightly.

"Mmm," she moaned with an appreciative little shiver. "Feels better already. I think your pillow's gonna smell like sex though," she teased.

"I like to drool while I sleep." He smirked, "It will keep me company when I have to sleep in my own bed." He traced his hands down to her ankles and back up to her ass. "Your ass is out of this world," he remarked as he caressed it and kissed the skin where her butt met her thigh.

"Is it?" she muttered, concentrating for a moment before carefully flexing just her ass muscles for him. "How's that? Ever wonder what it'd be like to slap it or," she licked her lips, "dream about jacking off and coming all over it?"

He kissed each cheek softly. "I'd never want to smack something this perfect... again," he said, alluding to the rough sex of their first time. "I think it's beautiful... much like this," he whispered as he slipped his fingers between her folds. "This is beautiful too."

Her breath caught at the feel of him slowly exploring her core while his lips caressed her ass. "What," she licked her lips, catching her breath, "what if I wanted you to? W-what if I liked it when you were r-rough and possessive...?"

"Maybe some times," he whispered as he carefully got in between her legs. He pulled his fingers away and licked up her cleft and moaned. He went back, softly licking her pussy.

"Oh God," she groaned, "c-can I roll over? I wanna watch you lick me..."

He pulled away, and let her have enough room to move. He waited, licking his lips where they were coated in her arousal and watching her with lust fulled eyes.

She moved carefully, not wanting to kick him as she rolled. Raising first one then the other leg up and over his head, she gave him a tantalizing view of her swollen and glistening core as the lips parted with the movement of her legs allowing him a glimpse of her clit peeking out of its hood. She ran her hands up her body from her stomach to her breasts, cupping and rolling the full mounds in her hands as she watched Quinn between her legs.

"Do you dream of this then?" she whispered, pinching her nipple with one hand as the other slid down to brush her clit. "Do you dream of me touching myself while you watch?"

"Sometimes," he whimpered as he nipped her thigh, making her slide her hands away. "I dream of how you smell." He breathed in her scent and moaned as he pressed a kiss to the top of her mound. "Of how sexy you are and how I hope I get to see you like this for forever," he breathed as he ran his tongue through her folds. "So sexy," he moaned as he tasted her and the thick liquid covered his tongue.

"Oh God," she whispered, looking down her body between the swells of her breasts to see his familiar face buried between her spread open thighs. Just the sight made her body quake, but combining that with the feel of his tongue parting her folds and stroking her and his hands gripping her thighs was like being hooked to a battery. She started to try and prop herself up to get a better angle, but her arms trembled too much. "Oh, God, Quinn..."

"Just relax." He whispered, his hot breath hitting her core. "Let me make you feel good." He lapped at her core, slipping his tongue inside her a few times as he worked her body over.

"You always," she panted for a moment, laying back though she still wanted to watch him work between her thighs, "always make me... feel good, Quinn."

Quinn smiled and focused on licking, sucking and nipping her clit. He brought his hand up and slid one finger inside her, his digit stroking her walls and teasing her hole. He slid inside as far as he could then pulled out and circled the girl's entrance, pressing inside her core and pulling out quickly.

Santana moaned and fell completely back into the bed, her back arching as her hips bucked up. "Quinn!" she gasped, "more... please, baby. I need you..."

"You have me," he said as he wrapped his lips around her nerve and carefully slid two fingers inside the girl. He curled them and scissored them as he thrust. He moaned as he felt her start to ride his face.

She moaned and writhed beneath his lips, her walls clinching and releasing his fingers over and over. She reached down and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, needing him closer. "Quinn," she panted, "please..." She needed release, trembling on the edge, missing that last tiny bit that would send her plunging over into orgasm. Each suck on her clit, each slide of fingertips against her g-spot made her groan desperately and beg for more. She was on fire with want but unable to quench it. "Quinn, please!"

Quinn's fingers pulled out and thrust back into his lover hard and fast. He repeated the action then slid three fingers inside her and thrust as fast as he could. Finally feeling herself stretched closer to the way she wanted, the way she'd gotten used to enjoying when she was with him, she gasped and arched into him, rolling her hips to pull him deeper with each thrust as she rode his face.

"God, yes!" she moaned, fingers fisting in the bed to give her leverage to grind into his mouth as he fucked her.

Her breasts bobbed with the motion of her body, nipples stiff and hard with arousal even if they weren't being sucked. She scrabbled at the edge, trying to hold on for a little longer, to make the feeling last, but in the end she lost her grip and fell. Her body seized, breath cutting off as everything focused on the sensations he was dragging from her with his mouth and fingers, her walls clenching hard on his fingers and pulsating around him as if they could milk them dry.

Quinn let his fingers get milked before he pulled out and kissed up her body. His lips pressed to her breasts before he moved to lay next to her. "You're beautiful," he said softly before wiping his lips and resting his hand on his stomach. He watched as her eyes stayed closed and she worked on catching her breath. His fingers traced over her abs as he waited for her to come back from her orgasm.

"No one calls me that, you know," she whispered, still breathing heavily and keeping her eyes closed but reaching up to pull him down into a kiss, moaning softly at the taste of her still faintly coating his lips and mouth. "Only you..." She finally blinked her eyes open to look at him with a slow smile, "I wish I could make you feel half as good as you make me feel, Quinn."

"You do," he whispered, his head pressed against hers. "You do, I promise." He laid on his back so his knee could be better positioned. His hand reached down and repositioned his briefs that had bunched up against his core, a visible damp spot on the material showing his lust for his girlfriend.

She'd glanced down, following his hand as he reached to readjust himself and noticed the lack of bulge but more the damp spot. "Quinn, can I," she sounded hesitant, reaching towards his boxers covered core slightly, "can I help? Can I touch you?" Her hand reached his hip, fingertips brushing the cloth over his thigh, but not actually moving towards his core until she had permission.

"H-how?" he asked, looking into her eyes and trying to figure out how this would work. "C-can... I... no one's every touched me... without..." he blinked, nervously.

"Not like a girl, baby," Santana whispered, rolling them slightly so Quinn was on his back and she was laying on her side beside him. "More like a guy." She let her fingers trail down over his cloth-covered core, brushing over the damp spot and pressing gently until she slipped the cloth between his folds just enough to find his clit, stiff with arousal. "Just... stroke you off," she rubbed the nub gently, "like this. If you want me to..."

"Uh," his hips bucked as he bit his lip. "I... I think," he grunted softly as he looked into her eyes. "I've never..." he was nervous, no one had ever touched him directly. "I... I trust you."

"I won't let you down," she whispered, moving until her first two fingers rested on either side of his clit and gently stroking up and down. "If I hurt you or if you just don't like it, tell me to stop. Okay? It's only fun if it's fun for everyone..."

"O-okay," he whimpered, his eyes watching the movement of her hand on his body. His hips arched up into her hand as he tried to figure out how his body was reacting to her touch.

"Baby, stop watching that," Santana whispered, pulling him into a kiss with her free hand. "Touch me instead," she guided one of his hands to her breasts, "and think about how I'm jerking you off."

He nodded, his fingers running over her breast and stroking her nipple with his thumb. "Baby," he groaned as he felt his body reacting to her.

"That's right, handsome," she growled softly, kissing along his jaw as she carefully pinched and tugged his clit through the boxers. "You like the feeling of me pumping your dick? Cause I love feeling it stretch me when we fuck."

He moaned softly, his body not knowing how to react to the stimulation that was being put against him. "That... that feels weird." He whimpered, "In a good way I think."

Santana laughed softly, her breath warm over his ear as she nibbled on his earlobe. "You're lucky you're hot, Q. Most girls don't like being told it feels weird when they're giving their boyfriend a handjob." She nipped at his neck, teasing, "Are you done playing with my tits, babe?"

"Never," he groaned, his eyes fluttering closed as his breath picked up with the stimulation. "I've... never had one before..." he said honestly before lazily opening his eyes and watching her face.

She smiled down at him as she moved to lean over him, her hand sliding up and down his shorts, rubbing him slightly harder as she changed angle. "Well, you're getting one now. What do you think?" she asked, nipping at his lower lip.

"F-feels good," he gasped, his head falling back against her pillow. "I feel... hard," he said almost astounded that he could feel hard without wearing his penis.

"You are pretty hard," Santana agreed, feeling the rigid bump under her fingers as she massaged it through the dampening cloth of his boxers. "Can you come from this?" she asked curiously, leaning down to kiss him, her breasts brushing over his chest. "Or do you need more... direct stimulation?"

"I'm... I'm good." He swallowed, kissing her back hard as he let himself feel her hand stroking his member. He rocked his hips slightly as her hand moved up and down against him. His breath caught in his throat with a hitch before getting to more of a panting state. "F-fuck," he whimpered, pulling his lips from hers so he could moan.

"Feel good?" she whispered, running her tongue along his jaw for a moment before licking and nibbling down his neck. "I want you to feel good, Quinn. Can you come for me?" She nipped at his pulse point before slipping down a little further to suck on his collarbone hard enough to leave a mark.

With a grunt and a sharp thrust of his hips, Quinn's body shook and he stiffened. He held onto Santana as he rode out his orgasm, his body expressing a moderate amount of ejaculate onto the spot where Santana's fingers stilled. He fell back to the bed with the grunt as he felt the heady feeling of a climax running through him.

She just laid against him for a long moment before finally sliding her hand away from his core, gently tugging his boxers free of his folds and dragging her damp hand up to rest on his chest. "How do you feel?" she asked curiously, delicately tracing the scars lining his chest as her head settled on his shoulder.

"Good." He whispered, his hand coming up to rest on her back as he cuddled into him. "Felt good..." He decided, not really knowing how to react to what just went on. His body knew it felt amazing, but his head was still telling him that he wasn't suppose to be feeling pleasure from that part of this body. So he decided to ignore it and enjoy his moment with his lover.

"Good," Santana whispered, snuggling against him and dropping a kiss just over his heart. "That's the kind of talk a girl likes to hear."

They weren't perfect. Far from it. But as long as they could communicate on some level, they'd be okay. And if Santana was looking forward to Nationals a lot more than she had been, well, who could blame her? It wasn't every girl - hell, it wasn't even a quarter of the other girls - who had a sexy as hell lover who was willing to even offer to ride up and share a room with her parents just to have the chance to give her a good, congratulatory, after win fucking after all. Let alone actually do it like Quinn wanted to with Santana.

It was things like that that almost made the girl wish she'd found him before Brittany.