Shooting the Rapids - Chapter Seven
Title: Shooting the Rapids
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 25,474 / 105,220
Spoilers: Possible mentions of up to Season 2 finale
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Summary: The sequel to Standing on a Precipice. Rachel and Santana have managed to survive the turbulent waters of the loss of Jesse and the shocking truth hidden in Santana’s marriage. Now two years later, new troubles arise with Shelby taking a stand in defense of her daughter against Santana’s "corruption" and the involvement of the tabloids as the couple becomes more and more drawn into the public eye. Kayla’s success in gymnastics brings interest from an unexpected direction and Santana has decided she wants to try again for a child of her own. Can they survive as a couple and help their children thrive amidst the chaos?
Warnings (highlight to read): Pregnancy, angst, children, non-con and drugging and talks thereof in later chapters
A/N: Wow, sorry it took so long to get back to posting. But should be regular schedule from now on. :)
Chapter Seven
It wasn't easy. It took a second round of IVF for Santana to get those faithful lines on the home pregnancy test. She had silently celebrated but kept it to herself. The doctor has suggested she stay quiet until the 12 week. Santana hadn't even told Rachel yet. They waited in the waiting room, Rachel assumed they were trying again, but Santana knew different. Once in and on the table Santana smiled at Rachel and looked at her mysteriously.
Rachel sighed softly, but did her best to smile and squeeze her girlfriend's hand supportively. She couldn't help but feel more and more worried with each round of treatment they went through without getting pregnant. She knew how hard it had to be for Santana - having to realize that the embryo had failed - but she hadn't expected how hard it would be on her too.
Now they were back in the same exam room as the previous two times waiting to try yet again. Even Rachel's usual optimism had been eroded by this point and she was starting to wonder if perhaps this was God's way of saying they should be content with the children they already had - especially after Santana had not only refused to tell her the results of the last attempt but also refused to try again for nearly three months. She squeezed her lover's hand to try and reassure herself and get back to that confidently hopeful place she'd been in the first time. But it was hard and she wasn't certain how.
"It will be okay." Santana stated, her fingers laced in Rachel's. "I know your worried too.."
Santana had hated keeping the last few weeks a secret. She had spent the time trying to focus on work and get things in place to let some of her responsibilities go and have other people take them. She knew that this was a risky pregnancy. She knew that it wasn't guaranteed that a healthy child would come from it, but now that they were at the first ultrasound, she felt hopeful.
When the doctor came in without the supplies for invetro Santana squeezed Rachel's hand.
"How is everyone?" Dr. Winters asked, Santana shifted on the table and smiled.
"Tired, but good." Santana replied, "Everything okay with my labs and blood work?" Santana was waiting for the medical okay to tell Rachel.
"Yep," she said, "you call tell her."
Santana turned and smiled at her girlfriend. "Baby?" she whispered, "It worked."
"It worked?" Rachel was confused. She didn't understand anything that was going on and it showed in her voice, "What worked?"
"I'm pregnant." Santana smiled, "I had to wait to tell you..."
Dr. Winters set up the ultrasound machine as Rachel spoke. "I advised Santana to wait to tell anyone since we lost the first embryo and the fact we didn't know how her body would react to the treatment." the doctor moved closer And got Santana ready. She put the cool jelly on the woman's stomach and positioned the wand.
"Ready to see your baby?" the doctor asked.
"You're pregnant?" Rachel's voice trembled slightly with disbelief. "Y-you let me think it failed for the last twelve weeks?"
She understood - from a logical standpoint - that Santana had been advised not to tell anyone, but emotionally all she could think was that she wasn't just anyone. She was her girlfriend, the second mother of their children. It felt unpleasantly like being lied to.
"Is there..." she bit her lip as she looked at Dr Winters pressing the wand against her lover's abdomen, "is there really a baby? It really worked?"
"I'm so sorry." Santana said, her voice full of guilt. "I thought.. I didn't wanna.." her voice stopped when the gentle thud of a heartbeat sounded through the room.
"Oh my god." Santana whispered, her tears now falling freely.
"yes. A healthy baby, good size and weight, strong heartbeat there mommys." she smiled
"Oh my God," Rachel gasped, squeezing Santana's hand, hurt at not being told forgotten as the soft thumping of their child's heart filled the room. "Santana, do you hear that?" She looked at her lover with a teary smile, "That's our baby, sweetheart..."
Santana's eyes were glued to the screen, the little blob that she wanted more than anything in the world was on the screen safely nestled in its safe, warm home.
"It's... it's there." She smiled, "We did it." Santana looked at Rachel and beamed before pulling her in for a gently kiss. Santana whispered thank you against her lovers mouth as she tried to hold back her tears.
"The fetus looks good and healthy, Santana." Dr. Winters explained, "But as you well know that this is the beginning you still have a long road ahead of you. Fortunately, Rachel has done this a few times and know's whats going on.. but you need to pay attention to your body. If you're tired, sleep. Hungry, eat and try to not stress too much because you are a high risk pregnancy because of the damage to your body so please any time you think something might be wrong, call me."
Between the tiny image of their child growing in her lover on the screen and Santana's tearfully happy expression, Rachel didn't have time to look at the doctor as she gently stroked the backs of her fingers over Santana's cheek. "Everything will be okay. I'm going to take the best possible care of her and our baby. She won't have to worry about a thing because I'll be right there."
It was strange, seeing the image on the screen and knowing it was theirs but not being the one on the table. Again she wondered if this was how Jesse felt each time he stood beside her, his hand tight and sweaty with anxiety in hers as they waited for that first fuzzy image to appear on the screen. This breathless exhilaration knowing the woman holding her hand was carrying their child.
She squeezed Santana's hand as she looked at the monitor again with an amazed smile, "We're having a baby..."
The doctor smiled and wiped off Santana's stomach and printed out the picture. "For your scrapbook." She handed it to Rachel with a smile. "I will schedule you for another check up in a few weeks. I'm gonna get your medication, Santana and I'll be right back." the doctor left the two women in the room together.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I was so scared it wouldn't take and we'd have to start all over anyway." Santana whispered, clutching onto Rachel's hand.
Rachel leaned down and kissed her softly. "I know," she murmured, "just... I want to be there for you, Santana. No matter what. If it takes or if it doesn't. I can't do that if you don't tell me." She brushed her fingers over tanned skin and smiled softly, "But none of that matters now. It worked and you're going to have a baby, Santana. Our baby."
She swallowed back tears, smiling warmly and holding tight to Santana's hand, "I don't know if I have ever loved you as much as I do right now. My heart feels as if it could burst from how much I love you. Thank you so much for allowing me to be in your life."
"I love you so much, baby." Santana smiled, as she sat up and moved to get her clothing. She pulled her jeans closed and brought Rachel's hand her the lower part of her own abs. "Feel it," Santana stated, "It's all hard and like a little bump." She held Rachel's hand against her warm skin and beamed. "It's crazy, just like over night it popped up and I'm like woah. Baby belly."
Rachel laughed softly, fingertips tracing over the smooth swell, "I can't believe I missed all the signs. You would think that I would recognize the signs of you being pregnant, but I missed them all!" She smiled wryly up at Santana, leaning up to kiss her, hand still gently pressed to the bump hiding their growing child, "I haven't been very observant, but I'll be better. I am going to take the best care of you possible, Santana Lopez."
"I didn't really have any of them, to be honest." Santana offered up as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck. "The only time I ever felt morning sickness was at like 10:30 am and I'm at work by then and you have your meetings..." She shrugged, "Though I'm always so tired, I feel like I haven't played with the kids in weeks..." She rested her head on Rachel's and closed her eyes. "So, are we gonna do the Jewish thing and wait till it's born to get stuff?"
Rachel smiled softly, her arms going around Santana to hold her tight, "Whatever you want to do, sweetheart. This child is both of us. Jewish and Catholic. Jewish couples," she bit her lip, not wanting to scare the other women, "our pregnancies are risky. There's too much of a chance of loss and it hurts too much to have all of these things for a child you'll not see, but... this isn't same. And, we should let the children know both sides of our family, don't you?"
She smiled softly, brushing her fingers over Santana's cheek, "Jewish and Catholic. While I admit to a preference toward Judaism, our children should have the opportunity to be exposed to the religious beliefs of both of their parents."
"It is the same." Santana said, "I don't know if the baby will be healthy or will even make it to the world... So... I think i want to do it you're way... I want to love the baby, but I don't think we should buy anything new until it's born... Though we still have all of Alex's baby stuff in storage..." She exhaled a shaky breath and held her girlfriend tighter. "I'm really scared Rachel. What... What if I loose this one like Alejandra? What is something is wrong with it?"
Rachel rubbed her back, "I don't want to lie to you and say it's not possible, but I will be here no matter what happens. And if, God forbid, there is something wrong. If, for example, this little one is like Becky or if they can't walk like Artie, we will love our child. We will do everything we can for our child to let them live as happily and well as possible."
"It doesn't matter if this child is not like all other children. They will be perfect because they are ours. Because they will be born because we love each other and love them." She brushed her lips over Santana's softly, "And that is all that matters."
The mother to-be nodded and pulled away, "I know... I know." she pulled on her shirt and fixed her hair. "Want to go home? We need to paint Caleb and Alex's room now that the upstairs is finished... Oh by the way baby... has Cale mentioned that he would like his walls to be purple to you?" She asked with a sly grin.
Rachel laughed, helping Santana on with her jacket, "Purple? Really? Well, whatever makes him happy." She looked momentarily concerned as she pulled on her own coat, "Is it safe for you to be painting? The fumes may be unhealthy for the little one..."
"He's a special boy." Santana smiled and picked up her medication from the receptionist on the way out. "Baby? Have you ever thought that Cale... resembles a young Blaine and Kurt?" She was nervous to ask because she knew it wasn't a parents dream to have a gay child, but then again they were a gay couple. "I've kinda started wondering over the last few weeks..."
Santana hailed a cab and slid in and leaned against her girlfriend as the driver drove them home.
Rachel raised a brow, "Santana, he's seven. Besides, does it even matter?" She shrugged, "If he is, I will be worried for him, but it won't change how I feel. Gay, straight, bisexual, pan, even trans... he'll still be my baby and that's what's important. Not who he falls in love with."
"I know. I just get worried about him if kids make fun of him or whatever…" She rested her head on Rachel's shoulder, "He can be whatever he wants, I'm still gonna be worried about him… I'll be worried about all of them."
"Of course we worry, Santana," Rachel leaned over and kissed her cheek before getting out and paying the driver, "we're parents. It's our job to worry about our children."
The taxi driver pulled up to the house after awhile and the women got out. When they got inside, Santana held Rachel's hand as they followed the giggling voices of the children in the living room playing a board game. Santana leaned against the wall, watching the kids as they played. She wrapped her arms around Rachel and smiled enjoying being able to watch them before they were noticed.
Rachel rested her head on Santana's shoulder as she watched their little ones play under Beth's guidance with a soft smile. It was times like these, with her family all together and happy, that she was happiest. She wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and hugged her, leaning up to whisper in her ear as one hand caressed the bump of their baby, "I love you so much..."
Santana opened her mouth to speak but was soon cut off by Alex screaming. "MOMMY!" He exclaimed, "Cale cheated!" He got up and bounded to Santana's arms. Santana squatted down and looked in Alex's eyes.
"Did he really cheat or did he just win and you didn't like that?" Santana asked as she pushed his hair back off his forehead. Alex scowled as he look at his mom. "Alejandro," She said sternly.
"He won... but I wanted to win, mommy!" He said with a burst of breath.
"You can try and win next time, now," She turned him around and pushed him forward a bit and smacked his butt lightly, "Go tell Cale good game and shake his hand or give him a hug."Alex begrudgingly padded over to his brother and stuck his little hand out for Cale's.
"Good game." He pouted and Cale jumped on him and gave him a big bear hug which caused the younger boy to giggle.
Rachel laughed at her sons antics, looking over to Beth with a smile as she smoothed her daughter's hair, the little girl having ran over to hug her. "So how were the little monsters, Beth? Not too much trouble I hope?"
Beth shook her head, "Nah, we get along great. I've got the best niece and nephews. Right, guys?"
"Right!" Alex crowed as he and his brother tackled the teen, both boys kissing her cheeks.
"Speaking of niece and nephews..." Rachel trailed off, smiling at Santana and giving her the opening to let the family know it would be expanding if she wanted to.
Santana looked over wide eyed and bit her lip, suddenly shy. "Um… We went to the doctor today…" She said, her voice a little bit weaker than normal. "I.. I'm pregnant. I'm gonna have a baby in like 6 months." She looked up trying to veil her excitement as she spoke, but not doing a very good job with it.
"You're gonna have a little brother or sister and a new niece or nephew Beth." She smiled up at the teenager with her son's climbing onto of her.
"Really?" Kayla's voice was hushed, but her eyes were big and there was a hint of a smile playing around her lips as she looked over at Santana, her mom's hand still brushing through her hair. "I mean, for real really this time?"
"Rach, show her the picture." Santana smiled as she looked to her lover to show their daughter the picture from the ultrasound. Santana watched as Kayla's fingers traced the outline of the baby.
"Wow, Mom, Santi," Kayla was stunned as she looked at the photo. Cale and Alex came over with beth and struggled to see it.
"I wanna see! Mommy where's the baby? Looks like a jellybean!" He exclaimed, his face scrunched up in confusion as he tried to find the baby. "Is it like where's Waldo? It's not fun if it is." he complained.
Rachel chuckled, lowering herself to sit on the floor so the children could crowd around - and in Alex's case on - her and everyone could see. "No, sweetheart, it's not like Where's Waldo. The baby is still very very tiny," She pointed the tiny figure on the printout, glancing over to Santana with a smile, "but as it grows it'll get bigger. Just like you do." She kissed the top of Alex's head, "Until eventually they're too big to sit inside your mommy's tummy any more and they want to come out and say hi to all of us."
As Rachel explained, Beth made her way over to Santana and gave her a big hug. "This is so cool, Aunt San. I totally want exclusive babysitting rights. And," she smiled shyly - so like her father when he was being the sweetest, "I'm real glad I get to be their aunt. You're kinda awesome and I totally love you. Not like Rachel!" Her face screwed up for a moment as she tried to back pedal and make it sound less awkward, "Or well, like Rachel but not like like Rachel... You understand, right?"
"I have no idea what you are saying, kiddo." Santana laughed and hugged her niece. "Plus, I need some free labour to watch our brood and you're the only one we trust." She smiled and kept her arm wrapped around the girl who was the doppleganger of her former friend.
Cale smiled and looked at the picture, "Like Alex did? He was all squishy and gross looking when he came out. I saw pictures when momma showed them to granddad." He nodded as he told Alex, "You were covered with gunk and it was totally gross," He looked up to his big sister, "Remember Kayla? He was really gross."
"You both were gross," Kayla rolled her eyes and rested against her mom as she looked at the picture. "All babies are gross when they are born. The new baby will be gross too, but then they clean it off and it's all little and cute." She smiled, "Right mom?"
Beth pouted, "Aw, Aunt San, that's mean! I totally get giving you a family discount but I'm so not babysitting for free!"
Rachel smiled up at her daughter, "That's right, little star. And we're going to love them, right?"
Santana laughed and squeezed the girl's arm. "Maybe.. or we can just feed you and let you run away here when your mom get's crazy." She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled at the blonde.
"Yes," Kayla smiled at her mom, finally looking up from the picture. "Lots of love and I'll make sure the boys aren't too rough with the baby when it comes." She smiled and looked over to Santana.
"You're such a good sister, K." Santana stated.
Beth stuck out her tongue with a teasing smile, "No way! I get my eight bucks an hour or the deal's off! And you know no one else will sit for you for that cheap in New York."
"Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah." Santana smiled as she pulled away and walked over to get the picuture and put it on the fridge. "Don't remind me. " she teased and laughed when Beth rolled her eyes.
Rachel just chuckled, "Alright, everyone. I'm feeling the urge to be decadent and order pizza in celebration. Who's interested?"
Both Cale and Alex's hands shot up and they clamoured with excitment. "Me momma! I want cheese and mushrooms!" Alex exclaimed as he bounced on his feet.
"Cheese and tomatoes!" Cale called as he wandered back over to the game and started putting it away.
"Just cheese." Kayla smiled and Beth nodded as they went back to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Santana went back to Rachel and handed her the pizza menu.
"I think that pesto and cheese pizza for you and me sounds about right?" She smiled and kissed her girlfriend as she walked away and went to sit on the couch with the rest of the family as Rachel shook her head and ordered dinner.
Chapter Eight