Secrets with reporter_chloe

[thekentboy]

He is restless, he had been for days. Since he overheard Chloe's conversation with Jimmy, he has been wondering if not telling her is the right thing to do. Her silence when he asked her if she'd be with Clark if she had the choice had made him wonder

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[reporter_chloe]

She's concerned.

He hasn't called, he hasn't come by. In days. It's very unlike him.

But then again, she's not sure she can blame him, after what he'd had to deal with the last time he'd come by. She'll never forget how Jimmy had spoken to him, or how he'd embarrassed her with his explosion of truth. She's not sure what Clark even thought of that, what Clark has done with that information. But in all honesty, she's scared. What if he doesn't want anything to do with her? It does make her look pretty bad.

So, after thinking about it for several hours while camped out at Isis, Chloe makes the decision to go see him at the farm.

She spots him heading into the barn when she pulls up, and as she parks and gets out, she hopes the two-and-a-half-hour drive will be worth it. It already will be, in a sense, because at least she'll get to see him.

She steps in the barn doorway, a little nervously.

"Hey."

[thekentboy]

He hears the footsteps, he knows she is coming so he is prepared for the greeting when she speaks. With a deep breath, Clark turns to face her, he can hear her heart beating faster than normal, this isn't going to be easy, "hey."

[reporter_chloe]

She has to remind herself to breathe, now that they're face-to-face. You can do this. This is your best friend. You can talk to him. she tells herself.

"Um... haven't heard from you in a couple days. You okay? I... I know that Jimmy was... kind of a jerk the other day..." She looks down as soon as she says the words.

At least he's an honest jerk. she adds, however silently.

[thekentboy]

He can tell she is nervous, he wouldn't even need to listen to her heartbeat to tell, he can see it in her face and the hopeful part of him can't help but wonder what exactly is making Chloe so nervous, that maybe, she's not nervous because of the conversation, that maybe, she is nervous because of her feelings-- but he doesn't allow himself to continue that thought, instead, he just nods.

"Yeah, I'm ok." But the mention of the other man's name reminds Clark that anything could have happened in the past couple of days, including Chloe changing her mind about Jimmy, one way or the other, "are you ok?"

[reporter_chloe]

She feels tears welling up in her eyes, tears she feels like she doesn't have the strength to fight anymore. She's about to break in his arms, about to be far more honest than she knows she should be. The truth is something she's afraid to let go, for once. The truth is something that she knows will only end up hurting her, and it'll hurt Jimmy, too.

She closes her eyes, and shakes her head, trying to fight it. "He... he may not be the first man I ever loved, but... he's the only one who's ever loved me back. I can't... I can't just turn my back on him, Clark."

[thekentboy]

Clark has to look away from her for a moment, he takes a deep breath, trying to control himself. If he doesn't say something now, he will have missed his opportunity and then it will be too late.

After a long moment, he finally turns to face her again, shaking his head slightly, "no, he is not, Chloe."

[reporter_chloe]

She looks up at him, brows furrowed in confusion, and sniffles. "What... what do you mean, Clark? What are you talking about? Of course... he is. Of course he... loves me."

[thekentboy]

He sighs, shaking his head a little and looking at her for a long moment before turning his eyes down to the floor, "he isn't the only one who loves you."

[reporter_chloe]

She feels her heart ache at his reaction, and she looks down at the floor.

She couldn't say the words. She couldn't say that she loved Jimmy, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. All she could say was that she was with Jimmy. That should have told him something. But had his reaction been different, she'd still be in denial about everything he's said.

She feels a lone tear fall from her eye, and speaks up again, voicing her denial once more with a watery laugh. "Clark... in a week's time, you'll... forget all about this. Whatever... you... think you feel... it's just because you're afraid you're going to lose me." She raises her head, glancing at him. "Once you realize that's not going to happen, you'll be back to normal. I keep telling you that you have no reason to worry."

The part of herself that's still a dreamer wishes he'd say something, do something to shut her up and get his point across, but the more logical side tells her it'll never happen. Clark Kent has never loved her, and she knows that he never

[thekentboy]

He doesn't turn to face her, he can't, not right now, not when he is about to tell her more than he planned on telling, "it won't go away, Chloe, I have felt this way for months, I know I'm too late, I know I've missed my opportunity, but that doesn't change how I feel about you." His voice is low, deep, sad, he feels defeated, Clark isn't always an optimistic but if anyone makes him feel that way, it's Chloe. And he had, he felt optimistic, even as he told her about the letter, but he shouldn't have because it only made it harder.

[reporter_chloe]

At his words, her heard begins to pound wildly in her chest, and she slowly shakes her head.

This can't be happening. Not now. He can't be... in love with me. Not after all this time.

For a long while, all she can do is stare at his back, but finally, she finds herself moving closer, her shaking little hand gently touching his big shoulder. There's a teary sound in her voice when she speaks again.

"Clark, you... you don't know what you're saying..."

She almost chokes on a sob when she trails off. He has no idea how hard this is on her. He's telling her exactly what she's always wanted to hear, but she's committed to another man. A good man, one she doesn't want to hurt. And that fact hurts her.

[thekentboy]

Clark can hear her heart speeding up again, it's hard, harder than he thought it would be, especially because he never guessed she wouldn't believe him.

He takes her hand in his and turns his head towards her a little but doesn't turn to face her, "I do know, Chloe, I have known for months." He repeats the last part, hoping eventually she will understand that this has nothing to do with her relationship with Jimmy.