Massive update of massiveness

[theiform]

I'm sick. I'm going to talk about being sick. If that's TMI for you then this is your warning.

Comments

[mystereos]

OMG you are the least bratty person I know, for serious. You put others first ALL the time, you worry about how you treat people, you hate to trouble anyone. If anything lovely I wish you cared about yourself more. I know you just said it yourself but I want to reiterate, it's not your fault you're sick. If you could be better, you would. No one would choose to feel like crap. You really are doing your best and I hope so much that you can get some help, that someone or something can help you feel better.

Also fuck the people at your school and not in the fun way. I hope your Mom gives them hell till they get their act together.

It's good that you can see some good stuff in your life too :) but you're right - we all need a damn good vent sometimes and I'm glad I could read it and send you *big hugs*

-Aubrey

Edited because I can't grammar.

[theiform]

Thanks, Aubrey, that's really sweet of you to say.

She's planning on it. I just wish she didn't have to; she has enough on her plate. And like what if I'm just making a big deal out of nothing, you know? Like, I failed the class. That should be the end of the story, shouldn't it? Like it doesn't seem fair to me for the reasons above plus more, but maybe it is and I'm just being selfish. Idk.

Thanks for the hugs, they're appreciated.

[mystereos]

I meant to reply to this before to say, you're definitely not making a big deal out of nothing. All you're asking for is some simple clarification and why the heck they can't give it to you I just don't know. *hugs more*

[theiform]

Thanks, it means a lot that you don't think I'm just being bratty.

[rubyelf]

Have you seen a doctor? It's not normal to be sick for that long.

[theiform]

Yeah, I have. I'm waiting for a specialist to contact me about it and I've sent in some blood tests and whatnot. Not much more to do at this point on that particular front.

[night_hearted]

You are not supposed to feel bad. You are not being a speshul snowflake, love. You are doing your best to cope with how you feel and how sick you feel, and it's difficult and horrible and in no way your fault. Your self hatred is not justified - you have nothing to hate yourself for. You do not deserve to hate yourself. You are not doing anything wrong. And I am here for you *hugs gently*

[theiform]

Thank you. It means a lot to know that not everyone thinks I'm being unreasonable.

[energyneverdies]

What are the docs saying?

I need you to get better! *big hugs*

[theiform]

Not sure yet. Might be an ulcer, might be celiac disease, might be something unrelated. Right now I just have to play the 'sit around and wait' game until the specialist contacts me.

[energyneverdies]

They thought I had celiac when I had my last big bout of sickness... fingers crossed for you!

[nowiamsix]

I'm really sorry that you're going through such a rough time with your health. I don't think that you're over-reacting at all. It's HARD being sick, especially if you have a chronic illness. I mean, depression can make you feel like you're two steps away from death's door, and that's not even something physically "wrong" with you. (I mean, it is, but not in the "an inflammation of tissues" kind of way.) I think you know your own body and can gauge what your abilities and limits are right now. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. :)

[theiform]

Thanks a lot for this comment, it was really reassuring. Yeah, depression sucks monkey balls even though it's a mental and not a physical illness, you're totally right.