FIC: Time and Age (Bart/Carol Fic)
Title: Iris
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Carol/Bart Mention of Prestion
Summary: A one-shot… I was tempted to do it with the lyrics of Iris from Goo Goo Dolls, but then again “Iris” is epic and I don’t think I could do a one-shot with lyrics and pull it off.
Note: Do you guys know anyone who’d be interested in Beta-ing me? D:
It was never easy. It’s not like he expected her to just accept it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t understand; because she did, she really did understand everything about him.
When he left, he always visited just to see her and only her, in a private part of the Manchester’s riverside that was hidden behind the hills and trees. Surely though he could only email Preston, but it wasn’t the same as meeting her or him, he wish he could of shared his secret with other old best friend. When he lost a leg, he thought in the way she’d always advise him… she respected him and never looked down on him for not paying attention unlike his other friends. Buu-t they weren’t bad friends, they just didn’t get him like she did.
He was normal when he was with the Titans, he was odd with classmates… but with Carol, he was himself and nobody else.
So every afternoon, he would visit her, though it was always private; so it wasn’t much fun like being with Preston’s friends, where they could be idiots.
Carol was smart, but she wasn’t a closed room bookgirl or a swordfish (aka: computer freak, he had read in a Urban translator), she was kind even if she was a little moody. She was like an iris… and not the flowers, a one-of-kind girl… some-one you’d expect in a comic or manga… she had a tragic past but she had a wonderful brother and a smaller sister. They were friends through-out the 4 years together, even within the crisis she was always waiting him there… in their private paradise, a world only to them and just them, but… she was now dating his (old) best friend Preston.
She had been dating him just before Bart lost his leg and to this very painful moment of truth.
Would it be shameful to admit; he was jealous of Preston? He had the girl of his dreams, so in the end Bart became tired of responding to his -old- best friend. Even though it was -his- decision to stop dating Carol? Yes, he was blatantly jealous. But he sort of wish he wasn’t… but it rather is a man’s pride thingy, even if he didn’t want to be jealous it was filling him indiscriminately, so he kind of accepted that those feelings would never go away.
But here they were; him kneeling on his knee and her looking him in the eyes with a sorrowful look.
“I will always love you.”
He said it, the words bottle up for 4 years now… but she didn’t respond, because they both knew it, there were evidences that they both love one another. However… There was no possibility of their being unfaithfulness, so she responded:
“Bart… I-.. I can’t.”
Her words were croaked, she didn’t want to say them and he didn’t want to hear them, but he listen without bothering her, no matter how slow she was.
“Bart… you’re my best friend, you will always be… but--. I’m dating Preston and I love him just as much as I love you. And right now…”
Her eyes lowered in shame, him and her both knew it, neither of them thought that way… hell, she was older than him, other than the fact that he wasn’t even born yet.
“It’s illegal now, Bart. If I said yes, what would you do? How could you be there when I need you? I’m not going to pretend I understand how much you know of love or being in a relationship, but even seeing Preston every day… I love him but we fight, but at least he tries to be there even in the difficult parts of time.”
She pulled her hand down to his cheek and caressed it and smiled with a sorrow look in her eyes.
“I love you… but… I’m nowhere near being ready to be in this sort of commitment, I’m only 17 and I’ve just begun to open my world. I’m planning to go to University and I’m not even sure if I can still be with Prest, but that doesn’t mark out what love I have for him or you… but-…”
Tears fell quietly as her petted his head now, his eyes were filling with tears because he couldn’t blame her for not understanding, he wanted a miracle for her to not deny him. His broken heart made him speak broken thoughts:
“ Carol? How is this wrong? You’ve been to the 31st century! You know as much as I do… that this all of this society’s mess-up of moral! How is this illegal? I’m practically 5 or 7, I may be in my mid-twenties now! But! But!--! No matter what, whether it’s in the far future or in the distant past, my love for you is eternal! Why…? This body is just physical… but it isn’t me, I’m still that boy from junior high that everybody try to pummeled and failed, I was your lover, even if it was for 1 minute…
You can’t tell me none of that is real?!”
His voice began to roar with tears as he couldn’t hold it anymore as he stared at her shamelessly as his tear marked face faced her. He stop looking because it was too painful as he gripped tightly the grass, he acted like it didn’t bother him with the Titans but it did because now whatever chance he had of her was gone.
But suddenly he was caught in a warm embrace… her chest was against his as she dug her head into his shoulder and a calm voice roused:
“… I don’t remember denying my love for you. If anything you were practically my second love and most importantly my best friend. But… right now… I can’t make promises I can’t keep, it be wrong for you and me both. Is it worth losing our friendship? I can’t think of any reason in my mind to say yes, realistically speaking… but if I say yes now… I would have to change and so would you…because I know what a real relationship is, Bart, and it nothing like those soap operas… I kinda wish it was but it isn’t and probably never will be.
Bart… I’m not mature enough for such a commitment, but do you think you are? If you do… then please wait for the day where we can be both mature for such a wonderful commitment, okay?
Because I will always love you.
But… can I support you and can you support me? That what love is… loyalty, support and trust… but I don’t have money to live on my own and I need to get a master degree in one of my multiple science study degrees. You are a hero… and I don’t really know what job you plan to do… but if I say yes and per chance you get killed? Will you be able to support me then?
Be-. Be--… Because, Bart, hard as it may seem I don’t know what I’d do if I found out you die… I’m not mature enough to bear such a responsibility.”
His shoulder was becoming wet as he could heard the clear sound of sobbing, yes, once again he shown his naivety and was hurting some-one he cared for dearly unintentionally. Wally would of mocked him but what would Max say…?
“I miss Max.” He mumbled… after the period of sobbing had faded into silence.
She finally released him of her hug and mumbled in insight “Life is easier when you have a supporting bar… but we all have to take out our third wheel sooner or later and there’s a high possibility of falling and we get our bruises to then heal and get back to riding again on that damn bike.”
She had chuckled as though she had made a joke and he got it but it wasn’t really that funny if you thought of life with a broken bike in a bike joint.
“Then I’ll wait for you, Carol. I’ll wait for the both of us when we’ve both reached that age of maturity.”
Even if they were never to date they could always meet like always…
“Then I’ll see you the day after tomorrow!” She said as she wiped her tears as she smiled again, but Bart saw the flicker of anticipated uncertainty in her eyes and body, he was use in seeing when she was telling the whole truth.
“Why not tomorrow?”
“Because I’m ‘co-directing’ with Preston for his next film for the Film Feastival of the ending year. So I can’t possibly make it.” Her word were true but he decided not to push it… as he saw the motive wasn’t that.
“So… I’ll see you.” His voice lacked emotion… he was feeling a bit empty and anticlimactic as he was about to go her heard Carol call him.
Her eyes were shinning with a piercing understanding and he knew this “Bart… you have to move on and stop waiting, I’m sure you’ll find the girl of your dreams, you know what they say of first love.”
“That doesn’t work seeing how I’m your second love! It has to be equal!” He couldn’t help but mention.
Carol rolled her eyes and giggled slightly “Okay… then it’s a fifty/fifty chance… we have a long time to live till we die anyway. I’m sure I’ll see you one day as my ‘boyfriend’ and not have the future turn bad.”
Carol began to walk away as she waved her hand a little before turning into a small speck within the background of the Manchester the town’s people loved.
----
Once again here he was… as Kid Flash once more and sitting down in the Titan’s Tower looking at the San Francesco’s Bay, the sea that immensely endless as the sun dropped to the dusk…
He had one hell of an adventure, gone back with Legion after being revived, returning to the Titans after being reunited with Conner. Their best friend becoming obsessive in way he never was before and now the demon’s sun was trying to be a leader without trying to gain their personal respect… so he was a mini Tim or mini BatGhul with an ego of a small nation.
Bart sighed as he rolled in the rolling chair…
Even through all of this time he still missed her and the feelings didn’t fade but at least he tried to understand what being in a relationship was or at least from Carol’s perspective… he did try to talk to his old girlfriend, the one he dated before he was killed, but his death wasn’t only thing that ended the relationship and it bothered him.
Even though he tried and he did really tried, he just couldn’t be there for her and vice-versa for her.
They were unhappy, but too unhappy to admit it… neither of them desired the upcoming loneliness. But she had got herself a boyfriend unknown he was alive at the time and he was steadily going for one-night stands, he really just loved the touch, but the irritating thing was that the speed would never match up… everybody just irritated him, but he didn’t moan or complain… bearing his own burden and to share that burden had a thin line.
As he looked at the orange and purple sky he wished the same wish he had since that day long ago…
Let us both become mature to meet once more and be more than friends.