Comments | thefireisblack: Shit So Weird You Can't Make It Up

thefireisblack

Shit So Weird You Can't Make It Up

Aug 02, 2008 18:57

I heard the rumours for what happened in Breaking Dawn days early thanks to a coworker of mine when the Texas bookstore thing got out. In her words, this shit was too weird to actually happen in the book. I have read book and I've come to the conclusion that like the end of HP DH spoilers, this shit is too f-ed up weird to have been made up. The ( Read more... )

book speak

Comments 4

sirdrakesheir August 4 2008, 00:28:53 UTC

I went with a friend because no one else wanted to and bought the book for the hell of it, though I really hate the series. And I decided that since I bought it, might as well. And have this to say:

THAT IMPRINTING SHIT IS CREEPY. Although it did make me decide I ship Embry/Mike with a burning, because... I was tired of all the hetrosexism in the whole... OMG SOLEMATES!!!!!!!!!! FOREVS!!!!!!!!!!!... thing.

When we got to page 500 and there was still no plot I gave up. What ended up happening? Anything?

thefireisblack August 4 2008, 18:50:46 UTC

*clears throat*

OH NOES! THE VAMPIRE MAFIA VOLTURI WANTS THE BABY DEAD B/C SPARKLY BABY VAMPS = BAD! MUST SEND BABY OFF WITH THE WEREWOLF IN SECRET SECRET. AND THEN, BABY WHO HAS SPONTANEOUSLY GROWN TO THREE YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMES BACK ANYWAY. ALICE FIND YET ANOTHER HALF-VAMP, CAN ANYONE SAY DEUX EX MACHNINA?! THIS ONE MADE IT TO 150 WITHOUT GOING WACKO SO THE NEW SPARKLE BABY LIVES!!!

That's the about the gist of it. There's like a chapter devoted to Bella being physically stronger than everyone else because she's a newborn plus some more "WOWSE I'M A SPARKLE VAMP COOL!"

Even the fanfiction isn't this bad. I'm so glad I was never obsessed with it. Obsessed would have had this hurt. Like brings me giggles of crack.

sirdrakesheir August 5 2008, 01:50:12 UTC

PROBLEMS WITH TEH SPARKLE BEBEY AND THE VOLTURI? I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!

LOL Vampire Mafia. So much truth. SO MUCH OF IT.

Now the image of Aro in a maroon pinstripe will never be gone from my mind.

thefireisblack August 5 2008, 02:04:38 UTC

Now the image of Aro in a maroon pinstripe will never be gone from my mind.

My life's mission is complete then ^-^

Yeah since the baby is "technically" a vampire, and since Carlisle went through that long lengthy tale of woe when it came to turning actual babies into vampires...this certainly explained why he had to go into that tale aside from warning Bella that once she vamped she couldn't have kids not that that matters anymore.