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Here is our team fic:
Olfactory Hardships
On the 4th of December...
Angel wanted Wes to translate a scroll that he stole from Lindsey. Lindsey did not know that Angel had been creepily sneaking in a ski mask around his cold, dead law offices. He did know that Angel was going to attempt a difficult spell even if the effort cost him the one thing Angel treasured most. The scroll was essential to find the missing demon that was responsible for Cordelia’s putrid stench.
Cordelia insisted that Angel do whatever he deemed was necessary to resolve the problem. So Wesley said he would try to translate the scroll from its original tongue that Wesley had a vague idea of what tricky conjugations it would require. Wesley was confident that his books would provide enough information to de-stink Cordelia.
However, Angel was skeptical that Wesley had the skills required to get the stench and the stains removed from the only non-black shirt that Angel owned. Cordelia didn’t know whether Angel would ever have the courage to wear a sombrero hat to the party at Fred’s place. Angel admitted that he felt silly when he contemplated the way he looked in large, colorful haberdashery. He needed something strongly alcoholic to get rid of the feeling of inadequacy. Cordelia wondered if there was any way to get him calmed down.
Angel said “Hey! I never thought you guys would ever judge me, but now when I want to be myself or go to the movie theater or to a party I will second guess my choices in attire. You all see me wearing black and assume that I have no sensitivities to polka dots, stripes and paisley, but I always take care to wear a reasonable yet elegant color scheme. Next time please consider the effort that goes into putting together my elegant, yet simple wardrobe. Any questions?
Anyway. About that scroll, we’ll just consult the linguistics expert. Wesley?” Angel looked at his translator.
“Yes, Angel?”
“The scroll!” Angel exclaimed, nearly breaking his coffee mug and knocking over a bag full of pig’s blood. “Did you have to read any special instructions on how to get a decoded scroll from what we learned from what Cordelia saw in her vision?"
Wesley looked like he was going to pass out suddenly. Angel shook Wesley by the shoulder and urged him to focus. "Remember what we talked about: getting rid of the stench that the demon is producing whenever he approaches is threatening to challenge our olfactory abilities, so use a nose-plug."
Cordelia thought the entire conversation was starting to insult her. "Are you two going to go and solve this mystery or just stand there talking about all the olfactory hardships? We don't have time for this!"
Angel and Wesley looked around like guilty children.
"Cordy, we understand why you need us to hurry, but do you realise that you smell like a toilet, and we need to know if Wes can handle the spell or not," Angel admitted.
Wesley frowned when she looked at him with a scowl and a knowing look. "Listen, buster, when I get my glowy powers you better watch out!"
Meanwhile, Lindsey and the Groosalugg accused a Chaos demon of not being watchful over the one scroll that could bring a cleansing and then a bubbling bubble bath. The Chaos demon didn't look impressed.
However, Lindsey had somehow found the reason why the scroll was coveted and vowed to keep the secret to himself, even if it meant taking it with him to the White Room. He knew that Groo would never ask him for the way to get the team from inside the Hyperion. If Angel didn't anticipate Groo then he wouldn't suspect what the senior partners had planned.
Across town, Cordelia was spritzing freshener and wondering if Fred needed to pick up any tacos. Maybe Gunn could take the catering van and help Fred to deliver invitations to Lorne and Gwen for the party being held at the old abandoned karaoke bar. At last, Angel could see what all the fuss about karaoke was.
It wasn't what he expected it to be, but Fred said it would be fun. Cordelia wasn't amused so Angel asked her what he had done. She told him straight: you forgot all about taking me to find the perfect dress for defeating the Haklar demons later - because you were busy avoiding the cleanup.
Angel was suitably chastised. He offered her a ride back to the hotel, where she knew Wesley was engrossed in his research.
"Angel, I appreciate that," Cordelia said, smiling softly.
They arrived just in time to see a lawyer run away up through the first floor. They began to see many reasons for this sudden assault on their party plans.
"Should we follow him? Or -- ooh! -- Antlers! Big honkin' antlers! You follow him, while I find a nice pointy weapon."
Angel reached for Cordelia. "Please tell me you have a bottle of Chaos demon anti-venin handy," he said, soulfully gazing over at the slimy trail of demon goo mess that straddled the carpets and linoleum 'tile' leading to the open door.
"I thought Wesley might be finishing his interpretation of that scroll? Maybe?" whined Cordelia.
"Where is Wesley anyway?" Angel muttered.
"With that lawyer and his demon buddy of Chaosville."Cordelia gasped.
The demon was standing atop a pile of bald tires, holding Wesley by the ankle. It reminded Angel of a scene he had witnessed in 1902, when he had fought a vengeful troll.
Worried, Angel seized the closest weapon - a broad sword - and rushed at the demon with a cry of, "Put Wes down! He may be an easy target, and he probably tastes delicious, but he's still just a human, and not as sexy as my sexy vampire self!"
The demon was so shocked that it let Wesley go. Wesley landed heavily on his head. Angel reached his opponent and swung his sword at the demon's neck. It hit its mark with a hideous slicing sound, and the demon's flesh split open at the point of impact. Cordelia shrieked at the slick of blood that splattered across the floor.
The demon gurgled nastily and toppled over.
Wesley groaned and tried to stand up, but his head throbbed and he slumped back against the tyres. Angel knelt down beside him while Cordelia wiped the blood off her cheek, and Wesley propped himself up on his elbows with a grimace. Cordelia walked over to them to see if Wes was alright.
"Wesley," she began. "Did that nasty demon hurt you?"
"I'm fine," Wesley said. "But could you please not stand so close? You still smell absolutely appalling!" Cordelia looked affronted. "Anyway, while you two were out partying, I managed to successfully translate the scroll."
Angel's eyes widened. "What does it say?" he asked.
"Well, it outlines the process of eliminating Cordelia's otherworldly stench. But the spell requires a demon to incant it," Wesley explained.
Suddenly, Lorne entered the hotel. "You rang? I didn't see you cats leave the party, but I... Oh sweet Moses, what is that smell?!" Lorne looked as though he wanted to turn and run.
Before he had a chance, Angel said, "Wait! We need you."
Lorne grudgingly returned. They filled him in on Wesley's translation, and he agreed to help. When they had set up everything for the spell, Lorne started reading out the magic words. For a while nothing happened. Then suddenly there was a deafening crack and Cordelia fell to the floor.
"It worked! ... I presume..." Wes said.
"Well, since the air doesn't smell like three kinds of demon feces, I'm gonna go with yes. Yay team," Lorne confirmed.
Cordelia clambered to her feet. "Hey," she snapped. "I never smelled that bad!"
"Guys," Angel interrupted, "Let's not forget about that big bad lawyer upstairs."
They followed Angel up the staircase to look for the lawyer. Eventually, they found him in one of the far rooms. To their surprise, it was Lindsey!
"What are you doing here Lindsey?" Angel demanded as Lindsey stood up.
The man smiled wanly. "Reclaiming stolen property," he monotoned. "I'd like my scroll back."
"Why? What's so important about it?" asked Cordelia. "All it says is how to get rid of demon stink possession."
Lindsey's gaze transmitted lawyer beams of tortured and lawyery evilness. "That's not true actually," he said, "but don't you want to ask Wesley what else it contains? Surely you don't believe that's really all it said?"
Every one looked at Wesley, who had been strangely silent. He smirked, as Wesley looked into Lindsey's eyes, fidgeting under the collective stare.
"I suppose I have some explaining to do," Wesley admitted.
"You think?" Cordelia snarked.
"Yes, well, the scroll did say how to de-stink Cordelia, but it provided additional notes on the demonic force responsible: After eliminating the odour, the demon will manifest and present the victim with a choice - either reacquire the stench, or..." he trailed off.
"What?" Cordelia cried.
"I... don't know," Wesley finished glumly.
Lindsey sneered.
"Lindsey, you know what it says," Angel said. "Why don't you tell us?"
But just then Cordelia gasped.
ROCKS FELL.
EVERYONE DIED.
The End.
Except Angel
Here is our team fic:
Olfactory Hardships
On the 4th of December...
Angel wanted Wes to translate a scroll that he stole from Lindsey. Lindsey did not know that Angel had been creepily sneaking in a ski mask around his cold, dead law offices. He did know that Angel was going to attempt a difficult spell even if the effort cost him the one thing Angel treasured most. The scroll was essential to find the missing demon that was responsible for Cordelia’s putrid stench.
Cordelia insisted that Angel do whatever he deemed was necessary to resolve the problem. So Wesley said he would try to translate the scroll from its original tongue that Wesley had a vague idea of what tricky conjugations it would require. Wesley was confident that his books would provide enough information to de-stink Cordelia.
However, Angel was skeptical that Wesley had the skills required to get the stench and the stains removed from the only non-black shirt that Angel owned. Cordelia didn’t know whether Angel would ever have the courage to wear a sombrero hat to the party at Fred’s place. Angel admitted that he felt silly when he contemplated the way he looked in large, colorful haberdashery. He needed something strongly alcoholic to get rid of the feeling of inadequacy. Cordelia wondered if there was any way to get him calmed down.
Angel said “Hey! I never thought you guys would ever judge me, but now when I want to be myself or go to the movie theater or to a party I will second guess my choices in attire. You all see me wearing black and assume that I have no sensitivities to polka dots, stripes and paisley, but I always take care to wear a reasonable yet elegant color scheme. Next time please consider the effort that goes into putting together my elegant, yet simple wardrobe. Any questions?
Anyway. About that scroll, we’ll just consult the linguistics expert. Wesley?” Angel looked at his translator.
“Yes, Angel?”
“The scroll!” Angel exclaimed, nearly breaking his coffee mug and knocking over a bag full of pig’s blood. “Did you have to read any special instructions on how to get a decoded scroll from what we learned from what Cordelia saw in her vision?"
Wesley looked like he was going to pass out suddenly. Angel shook Wesley by the shoulder and urged him to focus. "Remember what we talked about: getting rid of the stench that the demon is producing whenever he approaches is threatening to challenge our olfactory abilities, so use a nose-plug."
Cordelia thought the entire conversation was starting to insult her. "Are you two going to go and solve this mystery or just stand there talking about all the olfactory hardships? We don't have time for this!"
Angel and Wesley looked around like guilty children.
"Cordy, we understand why you need us to hurry, but do you realise that you smell like a toilet, and we need to know if Wes can handle the spell or not," Angel admitted.
Wesley frowned when she looked at him with a scowl and a knowing look. "Listen, buster, when I get my glowy powers you better watch out!"
Meanwhile, Lindsey and the Groosalugg accused a Chaos demon of not being watchful over the one scroll that could bring a cleansing and then a bubbling bubble bath. The Chaos demon didn't look impressed.
However, Lindsey had somehow found the reason why the scroll was coveted and vowed to keep the secret to himself, even if it meant taking it with him to the White Room. He knew that Groo would never ask him for the way to get the team from inside the Hyperion. If Angel didn't anticipate Groo then he wouldn't suspect what the senior partners had planned.
Across town, Cordelia was spritzing freshener and wondering if Fred needed to pick up any tacos. Maybe Gunn could take the catering van and help Fred to deliver invitations to Lorne and Gwen for the party being held at the old abandoned karaoke bar. At last, Angel could see what all the fuss about karaoke was.
It wasn't what he expected it to be, but Fred said it would be fun. Cordelia wasn't amused so Angel asked her what he had done. She told him straight: you forgot all about taking me to find the perfect dress for defeating the Haklar demons later - because you were busy avoiding the cleanup.
Angel was suitably chastised. He offered her a ride back to the hotel, where she knew Wesley was engrossed in his research.
"Angel, I appreciate that," Cordelia said, smiling softly.
They arrived just in time to see a lawyer run away up through the first floor. They began to see many reasons for this sudden assault on their party plans.
"Should we follow him? Or -- ooh! -- Antlers! Big honkin' antlers! You follow him, while I find a nice pointy weapon."
Angel reached for Cordelia. "Please tell me you have a bottle of Chaos demon anti-venin handy," he said, soulfully gazing over at the slimy trail of demon goo mess that straddled the carpets and linoleum 'tile' leading to the open door.
"I thought Wesley might be finishing his interpretation of that scroll? Maybe?" whined Cordelia.
"Where is Wesley anyway?" Angel muttered.
"With that lawyer and his demon buddy of Chaosville."Cordelia gasped.
The demon was standing atop a pile of bald tires, holding Wesley by the ankle. It reminded Angel of a scene he had witnessed in 1902, when he had fought a vengeful troll.
Worried, Angel seized the closest weapon - a broad sword - and rushed at the demon with a cry of, "Put Wes down! He may be an easy target, and he probably tastes delicious, but he's still just a human, and not as sexy as my sexy vampire self!"
The demon was so shocked that it let Wesley go. Wesley landed heavily on his head. Angel reached his opponent and swung his sword at the demon's neck. It hit its mark with a hideous slicing sound, and the demon's flesh split open at the point of impact. Cordelia shrieked at the slick of blood that splattered across the floor.
The demon gurgled nastily and toppled over.
Wesley groaned and tried to stand up, but his head throbbed and he slumped back against the tyres. Angel knelt down beside him while Cordelia wiped the blood off her cheek, and Wesley propped himself up on his elbows with a grimace. Cordelia walked over to them to see if Wes was alright.
"Wesley," she began. "Did that nasty demon hurt you?"
"I'm fine," Wesley said. "But could you please not stand so close? You still smell absolutely appalling!" Cordelia looked affronted. "Anyway, while you two were out partying, I managed to successfully translate the scroll."
Angel's eyes widened. "What does it say?" he asked.
"Well, it outlines the process of eliminating Cordelia's otherworldly stench. But the spell requires a demon to incant it," Wesley explained.
Suddenly, Lorne entered the hotel. "You rang? I didn't see you cats leave the party, but I... Oh sweet Moses, what is that smell?!" Lorne looked as though he wanted to turn and run.
Before he had a chance, Angel said, "Wait! We need you."
Lorne grudgingly returned. They filled him in on Wesley's translation, and he agreed to help. When they had set up everything for the spell, Lorne started reading out the magic words. For a while nothing happened. Then suddenly there was a deafening crack and Cordelia fell to the floor.
"It worked! ... I presume..." Wes said.
"Well, since the air doesn't smell like three kinds of demon feces, I'm gonna go with yes. Yay team," Lorne confirmed.
Cordelia clambered to her feet. "Hey," she snapped. "I never smelled that bad!"
"Guys," Angel interrupted, "Let's not forget about that big bad lawyer upstairs."
They followed Angel up the staircase to look for the lawyer. Eventually, they found him in one of the far rooms. To their surprise, it was Lindsey!
"What are you doing here Lindsey?" Angel demanded as Lindsey stood up.
The man smiled wanly. "Reclaiming stolen property," he monotoned. "I'd like my scroll back."
"Why? What's so important about it?" asked Cordelia. "All it says is how to get rid of demon stink possession."
Lindsey's gaze transmitted lawyer beams of tortured and lawyery evilness. "That's not true actually," he said, "but don't you want to ask Wesley what else it contains? Surely you don't believe that's really all it said?"
Every one looked at Wesley, who had been strangely silent. He smirked, as Wesley looked into Lindsey's eyes, fidgeting under the collective stare.
"I suppose I have some explaining to do," Wesley admitted.
"You think?" Cordelia snarked.
"Yes, well, the scroll did say how to de-stink Cordelia, but it provided additional notes on the demonic force responsible: After eliminating the odour, the demon will manifest and present the victim with a choice - either reacquire the stench, or..." he trailed off.
"What?" Cordelia cried.
"I... don't know," Wesley finished glumly.
Lindsey sneered.
"Lindsey, you know what it says," Angel said. "Why don't you tell us?"
But just then Cordelia gasped.
ROCKS FELL.
EVERYONE DIED.
The End.
Except Angel