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[thedizzywriter]

I just wish I had somewhere to go to talk openly about the things I’ve been going through in full, but I feel extremely unsafe doing so practically everywhere.
I’m not happy. But I’m trying to be, genuinely.

Comments

[seraph_tenshi]

Whats wrong, dear? 😯

[thedizzywriter]

I’ve been particularly struggling lately. I’m under control moreso than I have ever been in my entire life. Because of this, a lot of my issues have lifted, which leaves me with all the rest. I’ve buried so much I’m now very raw and sensitive. I want to talk to someone, anyone, but Facebook isn’t the best place to do that. I feel uncomfortable letting people, even here know what I’m diagnosed with or what I’ve been through.
This month would be the sixth month I’ve been out of the hospital and I haven’t gone back. Normally this is an achievement that’s celebrated. I don’t feel I can say it.

[beautesauvage13]

Maybe talk to a therapist.  Sometimes having someone outside the situation to listen to what is going on can help.  They can offer an unbiased ear to listen and give unbiased advice.  Sometimes having that different perspective can generate solutions.

At the very least you will have released the worry.

Keep fighting. Hugs.

Athena

[thedizzywriter]

I’ve been in therapy much of my life. I knew I needed it the minute I left the hospital with the diagnosis I had.
The therapy is what’s causing this to happen to me.
I do get very sick of only being able to talk to doctors, though. I’ve never been as honest as I have been now to anyone, not even a doctor. I think that’s why it’s working. That’s why I’m hurting. Because it’s working.
Someday, I’ll be able to feel without being sick bouncing off the walls.
That will be a good day.

[beautesauvage13]

I see.  Yeah doctors lack a certain empathy they are very focused on the disease and curing it but often forget there is a human in the mix.

I'm always here too if you ever want to talk or rant and rave.

Athena

[thedizzywriter]

It’s not that. If I see that a therapist is disconnected and doesn’t care in any aspect, I leave.
I didn’t talk about it when we were together when I was younger. That’s not what we were there to do.
But after the amount of therapy I’ve been through (It’s roughly 6 or 7 years now) you get a little sick of it. It has nothing to do with the quality of the therapist.
I feel I can be more open in therapist offices because at this point as long as I don’t say I’m going to hurt myself or anyone else, they can’t do anything to me. They can’t hurt me because at the end of the day they’re relationship with me professional and that’s all.
It’s not the same as being open with someone out here in the real world where people will absolutely turn their backs on you.
I just need to learn to trust more, probably. But I’ve build up quite a wall over the years to prevent myself from being hurt.
I don’t even know what’s on the other side, if I’m being honest.