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[thedeadlyhook]

Belated Very Happy Birthdays to germaine_pet, lordshiva, diachrony, ladyk8, fenchurche, eurydice72, and Happy Birthday in Advance to flake_sake!We had a locksmith come in to fix our laundry room door, which had mysteriously decided to lock itself yesterday, trapping a load of wet clothes in the dryer and us out in the hall yanking at the frozen doorknob for, I kid you not, hours on end. The landlord's whole

Comments

[toysdream]

I think Hellboy II angries up my blood more and more as I think about it. I'll cut a creator all kinds of slack for tackling something loony and ambitious and failing at it, but here we have a couple of very talented creators swiping Generic Anime Plot Number 3 and completely bollixing it up.

I mean, aside from the examples you mention (Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away), the notion of exiled fairy folk launching an uprising against the human civilization that's driven them into hiding is also exactly the same premise used in Pom Poko and The Great Yokai War. Between Mononoke, Pom Poko, and Great Yokai War, that's at least three iterations of the exact same plot, every single one of which demonstrates the basic competence of the creators by pointing out the ecological theme of the fairy rebellion and giving the angry forest sprites a clear and somewhat sympathetic agenda. In this version, though, the closest thing we get to a motive for the villain is the very strong impression that he's hot for his sister

[thedeadlyhook]

In this version, though, the closest thing we get to a motive for the villain is the very strong impression that he's hot for his sister.

I actually didn't pick that up - I almost would've given a couple of more points for that. As is, I don't feel that guy had a motivation at all, beyond "grr, I'm a badass!" And I forgot to mention the other plotline about the BPRD coming out in the public eye, which turned into a confusing sludge of dynamics from X-Men and throw-away-your-badge cop movies, let those two things naturally go together or something. HUH?

Having overcome her "I'm a horrible murdering freak" complex, Liz has just turned into a generic Shrewish Nagging Girlfriend who gives Hellboy a hard time for not picking up his socks.

But babies will make everything better.

Now that it's too late to prevent the dark infotainment-saturated future that '70s and '80s sci-fi warned us about, I guess we're just supposed to concern ourselves with how the hunky-yet-sensitive protagonist feels about it inside. >:-(Yeah, weird, but I'm more

[toysdream]

And I forgot to mention the other plotline about the BPRD coming out in the public eye, which turned into a confusing sludge of dynamics from X-Men and throw-away-your-badge cop movies, let those two things naturally go together or something. HUH?

Oh yeah, I forgot about that plotline too. But it's okay, so did the writers. (Didn't that happen with Blade 3 as well?)

But babies will make everything better.

You know, a woman who randomly bursts into flames and has just learned that she's been knocked up by a seven-foot demon with horns and a big stone hand might have more urgent concerns on her mind than who's gonna do the dishes. I know that playing Hellboy as a totally regular dude is kind of the basic character concept as far as the movies are concerned, but those two are going to have child-rearing concerns that make The Incredibles pale by comparison.

Yeah, weird, but I'm more disturbed by the fact that we're living inside Max Headroom rather than interested in some beefcake's personal issues. The self-involvement in these

[kurukami]

Yeah, that encapsulates a great deal of my reaction to Hellboy II -- along with the uneven emotional pacing, the aggravating won't-it-ever-end singalong musical sequence, the railroading of the plot (oh, it's not enough that there's seventy times seventy Golden Warriors, they REGENERATE too so you can't ACTUALLY destroy any of them despite superior weaponry, so really you HAVE to fight Mr. Lean Albino Evil Mastermind)... yeah. Sadly, so much fail.

I definitely need to pick up Brothers Grimm on DVD.

I've never actually seen the original Corman take on Death Race 2000, but I found myself immediately remembering hearing of it. It continues Jason Statham's pattern in roles as Explosion!Man! (Transporter, Transporter 2, Crank, War, etc.). I also found myself immediately flashing on all the Mad Max movies and every game I played of Car Wars back when I was a kid. *sigh* And the filmmakers, being unable to spoof stuff with any competency, are undoubtedly going to play it straight. *eyeroll*

[thedeadlyhook]

oh, it's not enough that there's seventy times seventy Golden Warriors, they REGENERATE too so you can't ACTUALLY destroy any of them despite superior weaponry

I actually omitted a rant about that, the "invincible" army that has no tactics beyond a slow, menacing, forward lumber, and apparently doesn't even pose a credible threat to Abe and Liz, who are standing right there and yet don't lift a finger to fight. I swear, if you're going to introduce an ultimate robot weapon, for god's sake, don't make it so lame that you'd rather see two guys duke it out instead.

Oh, god, I hadn't even noticed it was Jason Statham in that movie. That tells me a lot right there - I don't think I've seen him in anything good yet.

[kurukami]

He's been OK in a few movies. Most of them seem to involve use-your-wits thefts of some type rather than blow-everything-to-hell brainless action, though -- for example, "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Snatch", "The Italian Job", and "Bank Job".

[thedeadlyhook]

Ah. I haven't seen any of his caper stuff. I've been meaning to check out Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. And isn't Snatch the one where Brad Pitt speaks in gibberish?

[asta77]

Great review of 'Hellboy II'. While I thought the film was visually stunning and I loved traveling through the troll market (even though it was not an original idea), I left the theatre feeling emotionally cold and wondering what the point was. And how could they all just quit? How are they going to support themselves? And am I the only one wondering exactly how Liz got knocked up? I mean, I know how, but given Hellboy's size, um, well, you know what I'm getting at.

You make so many excellent points. I was very disappointed that the sister's only viable solution was to sacrifice herself to stop her brother. Why couldn't they have taken the crown and handed it to her? Why couldn't she have stopped the army and returned to rule her people who are now without leadership?

'Hellboy II' could have been an awesome film, but, instead it was pretty, yet empty.

[thedeadlyhook]

The quitting really bothered me because it was never really established what their problems were with working at the BPRD in the first place. Are they saying "take this job and shove it" because they want to get out from under government oversight, or because they want to start their own little society (like the fairies, and if so, why wasn't that parallel better established?) or do they want to be "out" and try to live alongside regular humanity, or what? Are they dropping out of the human world? There was an obvious social point to be made here, about their choices - freedom is better than cloistered protection, humanity rejects the odd so the odd should reject them right back, whatever - but we didn't get what it was because the filmmakers didn't feel like bringing down anyone's popcorn moments with social critiques. Or something.

Why couldn't they have taken the crown and handed it to her? Why couldn't she have stopped the army and returned to rule her people who are now without leadership?Exactly. She was written as having no

[toysdream]

I was very disappointed that the sister's only viable solution was to sacrifice herself to stop her brother. Why couldn't they have taken the crown and handed it to her?

And for that matter, why did the writers put in that whole routine about "If anyone here can show just cause why this anime character and his Golden Robot Army should not be lawfully joined in holy matrimony, let him speak now or et cetera" if the one other character who is obviously entitled to wear the command tiara is just going to blush and look at her feet?

Never mind that in the end Liz just melts the "indestructible" crown into slag with her psychic fire, in which case they could have just destroyed the third piece as soon as they got their hands on it, and let us out of the theater fifty minutes early. I think we've already spent more time thinking about the plot than the writers did. :-(

[asta77]

And if Liz could melt the crown, why couldn't she get really angry and melt the whole damn army? Yeah, we need to stop thinking about this.

[flake_sake]

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes!!! In my time zone they're not even early :)

And I agree very much on the "awe of discovery" thing. It spoils the fun when their is nothing mysterious and yet to be discovered, about the nasties.

[thedeadlyhook]

Yay, I was on time for once! I hope you had a super day.

The lack of surprise thing is really becoming a deal-breaker for me in entertainment - it feels sinister, a creeping subtext of assumed intellectual mastery, and by extension, mastery of everything else. No hint that there could actually be more than one way of looking at things. Instead, it's all Top of the world, ma! What else is there to know about gods or demons, and the afterlife and ghosts and fairies... fft! Pass me another hundred-dollar bill so I can light my cigar! Cynical doesn't quite cover it. It's more like... an anorexia of imagination.

at least only your laundry got caught inside

[missmurchison]

I once got caught in a bathroom like that. It was at work, in the back room of a bookstore. I was the manager and no one noticed I was missing. It's true -- no one wants to see the boss. I felt like Mr. Hart in Nine to Five. I'd probably still be there if someone hadn't left some dishes on the sink so I could use a spoon to slip the door off the hinges.

I was so impressed with the Ironman movie I've been reading some of the comic book collections. But it occurs to me that if I'm going to start getting into graphic novels, I need to read all that Gaiman my daughter has in her room before she takes most of it off to college with her. Because I don't think she can live without them.

Re: at least only your laundry got caught inside

[thedeadlyhook]

Yow! Glad you got out okay! How long were you in there?

I confess I haven't read much of Sandman myself: Gaiman's a great writer (I love Neverwhere), but there are things about the whole conceit of Sandman that sort of give me hives. I have difficulty with the whole gods-who-represent-various-concepts as random personalities - it's part of my whole irk with the cavalier treatment of god imagery in creative works right now. His American Gods rubbed me the wrong way like that too - it felt less like a complete philosophy than just a "neat" idea.

That said, I know very few people who didn't dig on Sandman when they read it, and I'm sure it's well-deserved, for sheer creative energy at the very least.

Can I recommend the Iron Man: Hypervelocity collection? It's a good 'un!

Re: at least only your laundry got caught inside

[missmurchison]

I think I was there for about a half-hour, but it seemed longer.

I've got that Iron Man collection on order.

Re: at least only your laundry got caught inside

[thedeadlyhook]

That still sounds like a long time to be stuck to me. Good thing you were able to MacGuyver your way to freedom.

I hope you like the IM collection. I love the writer, Adam Warren - he has more nutty ideas per square inch than practically any other comic writer I can name right now. And it's a very kinetic piece - the name really fits.