LotS Fic: Facing Fears
Title: Facing Fears
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Panic/anxiety issues, bondage
Word Count: 4046
Disclaimer: Cara and Kahlan are sadly not mine. But I think we all knew that already.
Summary: Written (well, finished) for lots-pornbattle. Prompt: "Cara/Kahlan - resolving Kahlan's ~bondage issues~". This also was written as a followup to my previous Porn Battle fic, Blind, but the only thing you really need to know from that is that Cara and Kahlan got naughty in a tomb.
Author's Notes: OMG you guys, my porn muse is refusing to let me breathe. I'm a little excited about it. Like...maybe so excited that this was finished on Monday. Of course, I've changed at least 2-3 things every day since then, so I don't really know if I'm altogether happy with it, but OMG I'M WRITING PORN AGAIN AND LIFE IS GOOD.
The first-and only-time Cara brings it up, she is met with an expression of unadulterated terror.
Kahlan is pressed between Cara and a tree, her lips swollen from Cara's kisses. That's all they've been able to do, is kiss, and Cara's body is aching for a more satisfying activity. The darkened blue of Kahlan's eyes and the bright flush of her cheeks indicate that Kahlan shares her frustration.
It's a cruel step backward after knowing the feel and sound of Kahlan coming undone beneath her in the tomb. It was all the things Cara had imagined, when she'd dared to imagine Kahlan returning her interest-urgent, hot, immensely satisfying-but it wasn't enough. Cara wants to see Kahlan, watch her face twist as her body is carried to the heights of pleasure and beyond.
Kahlan has offered, hesitantly, to take care of Cara's needs, but as tempting as such an arrangement would be, it doesn't hold much interest for her. Truth be told, the desire to see Kahlan reach climax by her hand is much more urgent than Cara's own need for release.
Which is why Cara has spent every minute of the day not dedicated to keeping Richard out of trouble pondering solutions to their predicament. She wants to pleasure Kahlan, but she has no interest in dying in the process.
The answer she keeps coming back to, assuming the Creator doesn't take pity on them and drop a Rada'Han in their laps, is that Kahlan's power is in her hands. Bind the hands and the danger is, if not gone, dramatically decreased.
It takes her all of three seconds after the words leave her mouth to want to take them back, to snatch them out of the air and stomp them into the ground. Kahlan's face goes pale, and her short, gasping breaths are heavy with anything but passion. Her eyes, dark with desire, turn cold and moist with fear. Cara can almost see in them the reflection of Kahlan's father, eyes wild with fear and disgust as he pulls the rope tightly around his daughter's tiny wrists.
Her hands drop from Kahlan's sides, and she backs up without a word.
"That was inappropriate," she offers quietly after a long, tense silence, her gaze fixed on the ground. "Forget I said it."
Kahlan is aware of Cara speaking, hears the words through the pounding of blood in her ears. She knows she should say something, respond somehow, but she is still in the grip of her memories. Her arms cross tightly over her chest, trying to stifle the panic fluttering behind her ribs.
When Kahlan doesn't respond to her attempt at an apology, Cara looks up from the ground. Kahlan is shaking, her eyes glazed over as she stares into the trees. Cara reaches out a hand to Kahlan's shoulder; surely this calls for some sort of comfort.
Kahlan flinches away from the touch, and Cara snatches her hand back as if burned. She steps away more quickly this time, cursing her habit of speaking without thinking first.
The brief contact shakes Kahlan out of her thoughts, and she looks up to see Cara's retreating form. "Cara," she calls out, her voice wavering. The blonde turns, hesitantly meeting her gaze. Kahlan tries to smile reassuringly. "We're okay. I just...need a moment."
Alone. Cara hears the word even though Kahlan refuses to say it. Her shoulders slump in defeat as she nods, turning to go back to camp.
***
When Kahlan has composed herself enough to follow Cara back to camp, the Mord-Sith has already relieved Richard of his watch, and he's sleeping soundly. A short distance away from him, Zedd is snoring loudly, and across the fire sits Cara.
She's staring into the flames, idly passing an agiel back and forth between her bare hands. Her face is guarded, as usual, but Kahlan has learned to read between the hardened lines of Cara's expressions.
Cara doesn't look up when Kahlan settles down onto the log next to her. Kahlan lets out a shaky sigh, reaching out to rest a hand on Cara's wrist. Muffled sparks of pain jump between them at the contact, but Kahlan holds fast to her resolve.
“Put it down,” she entreats softly.
Cara's fist closes around the weapon, her jaw set defiantly as she continues to stare into the flames. The sharp pain courses through her veins, hums over her skin, distracting her from the deeper sting that accompanies the knowledge that she has hurt Kahlan. Cara will not soon forget the look of terror on Kahlan's face, nor the fact that it was she that put it there.
“Cara, please,” Kahlan asks more urgently, tugging on Cara's wrist.
With a huff, Cara finally relents, jamming the agiel back into its holster at her side. Kahlan reaches for her hands, examining the angry red marks marbling Cara's palms, trailing out to her wrists and fingers. A pang of frustrated guilt tugs at her chest at the sight.
“I'm sorry.”
Cara's eyes shoot up to meet Kahlan's, taken aback by the simply offered apology. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she scoffs. “I'm the one who spoke without thinking. You have every right to be upset.”
Kahlan lets out a soft sigh, carefully tangling her fingers with Cara's. Her eyes drift down to their joined hands. "I'm not upset, Cara. I was caught off guard, that's all." She lifts her gaze to lock onto the other woman's. "I want to be with you. If things were different...if he hadn't-" her voice cracks, and she doesn't need to finish the sentence for Cara to know exactly who and what she's referring to. Kahlan swallows, forcing her composure to return. "It would be a good idea."
"But he did," Cara says roughly, turning her gaze away. "And I should have known better than to even mention it."
A slender hand comes to rest on Cara's cheek, guiding her eyes back to Kahlan. "I don't doubt that you will find a way for us to be together." A soft smile tugs at her lips. If they ever come across a Rada'Han, she pities anyone foolish enough to try to stand in Cara's way. The Mord-Sith is nothing if not relentless. The smile fades as she remembers where she was going with this. "I just don't know if I'll ever be able to do it that way."
"If I had been thinking at all, I would never have asked it of you."
Kahlan's lips curve into an encouraging smile. "I don't blame you," she says honestly. "Sometimes I feel like I'd give anything just for you to touch me, to feel what we felt back in that tomb again."
The frown fixed on Cara's lips finally releases, twisting into a sultry smirk. "If you think that's the best I can make you feel, you're severely underestimating my skills."
Emotion surges in Kahlan's chest, and finds herself biting back the words that spring to her lips. It's too soon to say them-Cara is still too skittish about the subject of feelings-but they both know that what's between them is deeper than simple lust. The words can wait. Instead, she smiles wider, leaning in to capture Cara's lips in a sweet, lingering kiss.
***
Things have just about returned to normal when they come across the inn. Cara hasn't stopped trying to come up with solutions, or stopped cursing Kahlan's father for preempting their best option with his foolish actions, but it hasn't kept her from enjoying Kahlan as much as circumstances allow.
After their evening meal, and a conversation that seems to stretch on forever, they finally manage to escape to their room. Cara finds herself pressed against the door, Kahlan's lips eagerly devouring her own. Grinning into the kiss, Cara pushes and reverses their positions, pressing her body tightly against Kahlan's. Leather-clad hands grip Kahlan's hips firmly as Cara's tongue sweeps into Kahlan's mouth. The familiar taste of the Confessor draws an indulgent moan from Cara's throat.
Kahlan's hands are tangled in blonde hair, trying in vain to pull Cara closer to her. She whimpers as Cara's knee slips between her thighs, pressing firmly against her sex.
"Sorry," Cara murmurs, pulling her knee back. She never goes into this with the intention of pressing boundaries, but Kahlan has a way of making her forget that they exist.
Kahlan's hands tighten in Cara's hair, tugging the blonde close for a brief, firm kiss before she pulls away, biting her lip nervously as she looks up through her eyelashes. "I was just thinking we should probably move this to the bed."
"Kahlan," Cara groans, her eyes dark with hunger and confusion. She knows Kahlan has more respect for her than to tease. Kahlan just smiles shyly, her hands slipping from Cara's hair as she slides out from between Cara and the door.
Cara watches her move to her pack, rummaging for something. The thought strikes Cara that perhaps the Creator has obliged, and Kahlan has gotten hold of a Rada'Han. Hope flares in her chest, settling between her legs as hot desire.
What Kahlan holds out to her, though, is not a collar. It's better, Cara thinks as she processes the implication. Her arousal cools by a degree as emotion floods her chest.
"Are you sure?" she breathes, pushing the words past the lump in her throat. Kahlan nods, her eyes shining with fear and desire as she presses it into Cara's hands.
Cara inhales a shaky breath, looking down at the rope clutched tightly in her fists. Mustering her resolve, she drags her gaze back up to meet Kahlan's.
"We don't have to do this," she says softly. Kahlan smiles, warmth blooming in her chest. Of course Cara would be noble about this.
"I want to," Kahlan replies simply, her heart racing in her chest. She leans in, her lips brushing Cara's ear as she murmurs, "I want you, Cara."
The words send a flood of desire crashing through Cara, and she groans as she pulls back just enough to claim Kahlan's lips in a fierce kiss. Kahlan lets herself be pushed back, sinking down onto the edge of the bed when it hits the back of her knees.
Cara rests the rope on the bed beside Kahlan, kneeling to tug at the laces of Kahlan's white dress. The soft fabric slides over her shoulders, pooling at her waist, and Kahlan's hands reach up to tangle in Cara's hair again as the blonde's tongue traces the edge of her corset, gloved hands working at the stays. When she tugs the stiff leather away from Kahlan's body, baring her chest to the soft lamplight, Cara falls back on her heels and drinks in the sight before her.
She has seen Kahlan's body before, mostly in furtive glances as they undressed to bathe, but this feels different. She is allowed to look now, to savor the expanse of freckled skin, the soft rounded curve of her breasts, nipples puckering in the cool air. What's more, she's allowed to touch, to taste, and Cara doesn't hesitate.
Kahlan gasps as Cara takes a nipple in her mouth, teasing it with teeth and tongue. Leathered hands slide down to grip her sides, holding her in place as Cara's mouth explores her chest. Arousal knots low in her belly, and her hands fist in Cara's hair, her legs spreading to allow Cara to press closer. When Kahlan's hips begin to thrust against her stomach, Cara reluctantly pulls back, her hooded gaze locking onto blue eyes darkened with desire.
"You should lie back," she pants, pulling herself to her feet.
Kahlan obliges, her hunger receding slightly as Cara reaches for the rope. Heart pounding in her ears, she scoots back, raising her arms above her head.
Cara straddles her waist, reaching down to trace the side of her face. Kahlan leans into the touch, breathing in the smell of leather. She focuses on it, tries to swallow the lump that forms in her throat as Cara's hands slide up her arms.
Cara is gentle, almost reverent as she winds the rope around Kahlan's wrists, tugging gently to ensure that the knot is secure. Kahlan can feel the heat between Cara's legs searing into her ribs as the blonde reaches further to loop the rope through the slats in the headboard. She focuses on that feeling, clings to it, reminding herself of where she is and who she is with.
But her heart pounds in her chest at the feeling of the rope closing around her wrists, tightening securely above her head. Her eyes slam shut as her mind is flooded with memories, images of a time long past. She can almost hear her sister crying, see the wild anger and fear in her father's face.
She doesn't even realize she's stopped breathing until the soft brush of leather against her cheek coaxes her eyes open. Cara is looking down at her, eyes dark with a mixture of desire and concern. "If you want me to stop, I will."
Warmth blooms in Kahlan's chest at the sincerity in Cara's voice, driving back the fear. She is still terrified, but she knows she's making the right choice in this. The barest hint of a smile touches her lips as she nods. "I know."
The trust Kahlan is displaying brings moisture to Cara's eyes; she blinks it back as she leans down to capture Kahlan's mouth again, pouring all of the things she can't say into the kiss. Kahlan responds eagerly, her tongue slipping out to tease at Cara's lips.
Cara moans into Kahlan's mouth as the kiss deepens, and it takes all of her strength to remember her purpose. It would be all too easy to give in to the urgency of her desire, to take Kahlan hard and fast the way she's used to taking women. But Kahlan is not just any woman. Cara has given more thought to this than she'll ever admit, and she's going to do it right.
With one last swipe of her tongue, Cara pulls away, kissing along Kahlan's jaw. Her mouth is hot as it sucks languidly at Kahlan's neck. Gloved hands slide down the bare skin of her sides, goosebumps sprouting in their wake.
Kahlan's skin tightens as the cool air meets the trail of moisture left behind by Cara's tongue as the blonde lavishes her chest with ardent kisses. Cara moves lower, and Kahlan's stomach clenches as Cara's exploration continues.
Cara finds a particularly sensitive spot, and Kahlan arches against her. She tugs at her bonds almost unconsciously, the rope digging into her wrists. The cold rush of fear nearly stops her heart, even as her hips jerk up into Cara's chest. She gasps, drawing Cara's gaze to her.
Inhaling deeply, Kahlan forces back the memories, focuses on the burning ache between her legs, and the concern in Cara's eyes. She reminds herself that while she may not physically be able to free herself, she can release her bonds at any time with a word. She knows Cara will comply.
"Keep going," Kahlan breathes, trembling with apprehension and anticipation. Green eyes stay locked on blue as Cara drops a gentle kiss onto Kahlan's hipbone.
Then Cara is sliding her dress further down, tugging at the last of her clothing, pulling off her boots. Before long, Kahlan lies gloriously nude before her, and for a moment Cara is frozen in awe. Her tongue slips out to moisten her lips unconsciously as her eyes rake over Kahlan's body. Kahlan's cheeks flush under the scrutiny, but her modesty is forgotten when she takes in the depth of hunger in Cara's eyes.
"Cara," she almost whimpers, suddenly wanting her hands freed for an altogether different reason. She wants to reach for Cara, to bury her fingers in golden hair and guide that agile tongue exactly where her body is screaming for it.
A smug smile steals over Cara's lips, and her eyes never leave Kahlan's as her hands move to spread Kahlan's thighs. She leans down, breathing in the musky scent of Kahlan's glistening flesh. A strangled moan escapes Kahlan's throat as Cara's tongue slips out to take a taste, sliding through her dripping folds. It's like nothing Kahlan's ever felt before, hot and wet and exquisite. Cara indulges herself in unhurried exploration, savoring the thick tang of arousal before she pulls Kahlan's clit between her teeth.
Kahlan's hips thrust wantonly into her mouth, and Cara pushes against them with her hands, holding them in place as she sucks eagerly at Kahlan's sex. Kahlan gasps and moans with increasing urgency, and Cara relishes every moment of it.
Kahlan can feel her magic building, pushing against the boundaries she's struggling to keep in place. A different kind of fear fills her as she realizes that Cara is firmly attached to her skin.
"Cara!" Kahlan gasps frantically, her feet digging into the bed. The memories of her childhood couldn't be further from her mind as she struggles to free her hands, to pull Cara away somehow. "Cara, stop!"
Cara's head snaps up, her eyes zeroing in on Kahlan's. Passion is evident on her face, slick on her chin, but her eyes hold nothing but concern. Kahlan breathes a sigh of relief, pulling her control back around her.
"You-you were touching me," she pants, trying to erase the disappointment she sees behind Cara's eyes. Cara's lips, swollen and red, turn up in a smirk. Her eyebrow quirks, as though pointing out the obvious nature of Kahlan's statement. Kahlan won't admit it, not now, but that smirk causes the desire in her stomach to twist and pull, renewing the wetness between her legs. "I was...close."
With a grin, Cara slides up Kahlan's body, settling herself over her. Kahlan can smell her arousal on Cara's breath, taste herself as Cara leans in and claims her mouth. A leather-clad thigh settles between Kahlan's legs, sliding through the generous moisture there.
Kahlan tears her lips away, gasping in mild protest. "Your leathers-"
"Are already in dire need of cleaning," Cara says plainly, her voice rich with desire as she rocks her own hips against Kahlan's thigh. The heat there makes Cara's point clear, and a jolt of arousal shoots down Kahlan's spine, straight to her sex. Her eyes slam shut with the intensity of it, the knowledge of what she would find beneath Cara's clothing. They snap open again as Cara thrusts forward with her thigh, making contact with Kahlan's sensitive flesh.
"You need to be careful," Kahlan pleads breathlessly. Cara's lips turn up slightly, her eyebrow twitching as though Kahlan has just issued a challenge. But the raw fear in Kahlan's eyes, fear for Cara and not herself, convinces Cara to concede at least this once.
Pushing herself up to a kneeling position, she leers down at Kahlan as she slides a leather covered finger up the length of Kahlan's sex, circling her clit before sliding back down to tease at her entrance. Kahlan's hips jerk up into her hand, not-quite begging; inwardly, Cara muses that it might be closer to a demand.
One that Cara is happy to oblige. She smirks triumphantly when Kahlan lets out a long, low moan as a gloved finger slides slowly into her. Cara pulls back just enough to add a finger before thrusting in once more, Kahlan's heat clenching around her as she sets a steady rhythm.
Kahlan's neck arches back, the back of her head digging into the bed as she meets Cara's thrusts with ardor. Cara's thumb slams against her clit as the tempo increases, her arm pumping faster as she fills Kahlan over and over again.
The sensation flooding Kahlan's body is like nothing she's ever felt before, and she forces her eyes open to assure herself that this is real. She has known pleasure, by her own hand, but discreet trips to gather firewood pale in comparison to this. To the heat and vigor of Cara kneeling over her, hair matted with sweat, eyes growing dark and wild with lust. The sight alone is enough to bring Kahlan to the brink, arching against Cara's hand with abandon.
She is hardly aware of the licentious noises erupting from her throat, but Cara notices, savors each and every one. The sound floods Cara with heat, and she is quickly losing grip of her restraint. She has waited long enough for this moment, for the sight about to grace her vision. Her fingers curl inside of Kahlan, her thumb rubbing against Kahlan's clit as she coaxes her over the edge.
Kahlan's eyes slam shut, and she chokes back the sudden panic as her magic bursts free of her control, flooding the room with crackling energy. It washes over Cara like it did the first time, sparking between her leather and skin and setting her nerve endings ablaze. Kahlan's release is close behind, rocking her body with waves of intense pleasure. Her arms flex and pull at her bonds, aching with the desire to reach for Cara.
Cara slows her fingers, sliding gently in and out to milk every drop of pleasure from Kahlan's body. When she sees Kahlan's arms relax, feels her weight sink into the bed, it is clear that the danger has passed. It's all the indication Cara needs to abandon her careful distance and collapse at Kahlan's side, propping herself up on an elbow as her fingers slow to a stop, content to feel Kahlan's muscles clench around them.
She would keep going-she knows she could have Kahlan screaming her name until her voice was hoarse, and still demand more-but she is very aware of Kahlan's bound hands, of what Kahlan has willingly gone through just to give her this experience, and she refuses to be too selfish.
Kahlan lets out an indulgent sigh as Cara's fingers slide free, her eyelids still too heavy to lift. There was no shortage of air this time, but the release was more intense-she has to fight the exhaustion flooding her body as she recovers.
Then her hands are untied, and the rope hits the floor with a soft thud as Cara tosses it aside. Leathered hands stroke gently at the reddened skin circling her wrists, and her eyes flutter open to see Cara looking at her with a combination of wonder and curiosity.
Cara wants to ask what changed, what made Kahlan submit to this, when the idea so clearly terrified her, but she can't force the words from her throat for fear that she will wake up and it will all have been a dream. Not that Mord-Sith dream. But then, they also don't usually bed Confessors.
A lazy smile spreads across Kahlan's lips as she sees the question in Cara's eyes. "Ever since you brought it up, I haven't been able to think of anything else." Her voice is shaky, from emotion and exhaustion. "I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I...I trust you."
They're not the words she meant to say, and both of them know it. Still, they manage to leave Cara speechless. Her heart pounds in her throat, and she swallows hard to try to push it back down into her chest. She's not one to make sweet promises or flowery declarations of love-she isn't even sure she's ready to use that word, even in her own mind-but Kahlan makes her want to. "I would never betray that trust," she finally says. The words feel inadequate, but Kahlan seems to appreciate the emotion behind them.
"I know you wouldn't." Kahlan props herself up on an elbow, smiling as she tugs at Cara's hip, pulling her down to draw a lingering kiss from her lips. Cara happily obliges, her body resting against Kahlan's as the kiss intensifies. The warmth of the leather against her chilled skin causes arousal to surge through Kahlan anew, and her own desire-to wander the expanse of Cara's golden skin with tongue and teeth and fingers, to see her formidable lover tremble under her touch-is yet unfulfilled. Her fingers tug at the laces at Cara's side as she pulls back just enough to smirk into Cara's lips. "Now, how do I get these things off of you?"
end.
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Panic/anxiety issues, bondage
Word Count: 4046
Disclaimer: Cara and Kahlan are sadly not mine. But I think we all knew that already.
Summary: Written (well, finished) for lots-pornbattle. Prompt: "Cara/Kahlan - resolving Kahlan's ~bondage issues~". This also was written as a followup to my previous Porn Battle fic, Blind, but the only thing you really need to know from that is that Cara and Kahlan got naughty in a tomb.
Author's Notes: OMG you guys, my porn muse is refusing to let me breathe. I'm a little excited about it. Like...maybe so excited that this was finished on Monday. Of course, I've changed at least 2-3 things every day since then, so I don't really know if I'm altogether happy with it, but OMG I'M WRITING PORN AGAIN AND LIFE IS GOOD.
The first-and only-time Cara brings it up, she is met with an expression of unadulterated terror.
Kahlan is pressed between Cara and a tree, her lips swollen from Cara's kisses. That's all they've been able to do, is kiss, and Cara's body is aching for a more satisfying activity. The darkened blue of Kahlan's eyes and the bright flush of her cheeks indicate that Kahlan shares her frustration.
It's a cruel step backward after knowing the feel and sound of Kahlan coming undone beneath her in the tomb. It was all the things Cara had imagined, when she'd dared to imagine Kahlan returning her interest-urgent, hot, immensely satisfying-but it wasn't enough. Cara wants to see Kahlan, watch her face twist as her body is carried to the heights of pleasure and beyond.
Kahlan has offered, hesitantly, to take care of Cara's needs, but as tempting as such an arrangement would be, it doesn't hold much interest for her. Truth be told, the desire to see Kahlan reach climax by her hand is much more urgent than Cara's own need for release.
Which is why Cara has spent every minute of the day not dedicated to keeping Richard out of trouble pondering solutions to their predicament. She wants to pleasure Kahlan, but she has no interest in dying in the process.
The answer she keeps coming back to, assuming the Creator doesn't take pity on them and drop a Rada'Han in their laps, is that Kahlan's power is in her hands. Bind the hands and the danger is, if not gone, dramatically decreased.
It takes her all of three seconds after the words leave her mouth to want to take them back, to snatch them out of the air and stomp them into the ground. Kahlan's face goes pale, and her short, gasping breaths are heavy with anything but passion. Her eyes, dark with desire, turn cold and moist with fear. Cara can almost see in them the reflection of Kahlan's father, eyes wild with fear and disgust as he pulls the rope tightly around his daughter's tiny wrists.
Her hands drop from Kahlan's sides, and she backs up without a word.
"That was inappropriate," she offers quietly after a long, tense silence, her gaze fixed on the ground. "Forget I said it."
Kahlan is aware of Cara speaking, hears the words through the pounding of blood in her ears. She knows she should say something, respond somehow, but she is still in the grip of her memories. Her arms cross tightly over her chest, trying to stifle the panic fluttering behind her ribs.
When Kahlan doesn't respond to her attempt at an apology, Cara looks up from the ground. Kahlan is shaking, her eyes glazed over as she stares into the trees. Cara reaches out a hand to Kahlan's shoulder; surely this calls for some sort of comfort.
Kahlan flinches away from the touch, and Cara snatches her hand back as if burned. She steps away more quickly this time, cursing her habit of speaking without thinking first.
The brief contact shakes Kahlan out of her thoughts, and she looks up to see Cara's retreating form. "Cara," she calls out, her voice wavering. The blonde turns, hesitantly meeting her gaze. Kahlan tries to smile reassuringly. "We're okay. I just...need a moment."
Alone. Cara hears the word even though Kahlan refuses to say it. Her shoulders slump in defeat as she nods, turning to go back to camp.
***
When Kahlan has composed herself enough to follow Cara back to camp, the Mord-Sith has already relieved Richard of his watch, and he's sleeping soundly. A short distance away from him, Zedd is snoring loudly, and across the fire sits Cara.
She's staring into the flames, idly passing an agiel back and forth between her bare hands. Her face is guarded, as usual, but Kahlan has learned to read between the hardened lines of Cara's expressions.
Cara doesn't look up when Kahlan settles down onto the log next to her. Kahlan lets out a shaky sigh, reaching out to rest a hand on Cara's wrist. Muffled sparks of pain jump between them at the contact, but Kahlan holds fast to her resolve.
“Put it down,” she entreats softly.
Cara's fist closes around the weapon, her jaw set defiantly as she continues to stare into the flames. The sharp pain courses through her veins, hums over her skin, distracting her from the deeper sting that accompanies the knowledge that she has hurt Kahlan. Cara will not soon forget the look of terror on Kahlan's face, nor the fact that it was she that put it there.
“Cara, please,” Kahlan asks more urgently, tugging on Cara's wrist.
With a huff, Cara finally relents, jamming the agiel back into its holster at her side. Kahlan reaches for her hands, examining the angry red marks marbling Cara's palms, trailing out to her wrists and fingers. A pang of frustrated guilt tugs at her chest at the sight.
“I'm sorry.”
Cara's eyes shoot up to meet Kahlan's, taken aback by the simply offered apology. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she scoffs. “I'm the one who spoke without thinking. You have every right to be upset.”
Kahlan lets out a soft sigh, carefully tangling her fingers with Cara's. Her eyes drift down to their joined hands. "I'm not upset, Cara. I was caught off guard, that's all." She lifts her gaze to lock onto the other woman's. "I want to be with you. If things were different...if he hadn't-" her voice cracks, and she doesn't need to finish the sentence for Cara to know exactly who and what she's referring to. Kahlan swallows, forcing her composure to return. "It would be a good idea."
"But he did," Cara says roughly, turning her gaze away. "And I should have known better than to even mention it."
A slender hand comes to rest on Cara's cheek, guiding her eyes back to Kahlan. "I don't doubt that you will find a way for us to be together." A soft smile tugs at her lips. If they ever come across a Rada'Han, she pities anyone foolish enough to try to stand in Cara's way. The Mord-Sith is nothing if not relentless. The smile fades as she remembers where she was going with this. "I just don't know if I'll ever be able to do it that way."
"If I had been thinking at all, I would never have asked it of you."
Kahlan's lips curve into an encouraging smile. "I don't blame you," she says honestly. "Sometimes I feel like I'd give anything just for you to touch me, to feel what we felt back in that tomb again."
The frown fixed on Cara's lips finally releases, twisting into a sultry smirk. "If you think that's the best I can make you feel, you're severely underestimating my skills."
Emotion surges in Kahlan's chest, and finds herself biting back the words that spring to her lips. It's too soon to say them-Cara is still too skittish about the subject of feelings-but they both know that what's between them is deeper than simple lust. The words can wait. Instead, she smiles wider, leaning in to capture Cara's lips in a sweet, lingering kiss.
***
Things have just about returned to normal when they come across the inn. Cara hasn't stopped trying to come up with solutions, or stopped cursing Kahlan's father for preempting their best option with his foolish actions, but it hasn't kept her from enjoying Kahlan as much as circumstances allow.
After their evening meal, and a conversation that seems to stretch on forever, they finally manage to escape to their room. Cara finds herself pressed against the door, Kahlan's lips eagerly devouring her own. Grinning into the kiss, Cara pushes and reverses their positions, pressing her body tightly against Kahlan's. Leather-clad hands grip Kahlan's hips firmly as Cara's tongue sweeps into Kahlan's mouth. The familiar taste of the Confessor draws an indulgent moan from Cara's throat.
Kahlan's hands are tangled in blonde hair, trying in vain to pull Cara closer to her. She whimpers as Cara's knee slips between her thighs, pressing firmly against her sex.
"Sorry," Cara murmurs, pulling her knee back. She never goes into this with the intention of pressing boundaries, but Kahlan has a way of making her forget that they exist.
Kahlan's hands tighten in Cara's hair, tugging the blonde close for a brief, firm kiss before she pulls away, biting her lip nervously as she looks up through her eyelashes. "I was just thinking we should probably move this to the bed."
"Kahlan," Cara groans, her eyes dark with hunger and confusion. She knows Kahlan has more respect for her than to tease. Kahlan just smiles shyly, her hands slipping from Cara's hair as she slides out from between Cara and the door.
Cara watches her move to her pack, rummaging for something. The thought strikes Cara that perhaps the Creator has obliged, and Kahlan has gotten hold of a Rada'Han. Hope flares in her chest, settling between her legs as hot desire.
What Kahlan holds out to her, though, is not a collar. It's better, Cara thinks as she processes the implication. Her arousal cools by a degree as emotion floods her chest.
"Are you sure?" she breathes, pushing the words past the lump in her throat. Kahlan nods, her eyes shining with fear and desire as she presses it into Cara's hands.
Cara inhales a shaky breath, looking down at the rope clutched tightly in her fists. Mustering her resolve, she drags her gaze back up to meet Kahlan's.
"We don't have to do this," she says softly. Kahlan smiles, warmth blooming in her chest. Of course Cara would be noble about this.
"I want to," Kahlan replies simply, her heart racing in her chest. She leans in, her lips brushing Cara's ear as she murmurs, "I want you, Cara."
The words send a flood of desire crashing through Cara, and she groans as she pulls back just enough to claim Kahlan's lips in a fierce kiss. Kahlan lets herself be pushed back, sinking down onto the edge of the bed when it hits the back of her knees.
Cara rests the rope on the bed beside Kahlan, kneeling to tug at the laces of Kahlan's white dress. The soft fabric slides over her shoulders, pooling at her waist, and Kahlan's hands reach up to tangle in Cara's hair again as the blonde's tongue traces the edge of her corset, gloved hands working at the stays. When she tugs the stiff leather away from Kahlan's body, baring her chest to the soft lamplight, Cara falls back on her heels and drinks in the sight before her.
She has seen Kahlan's body before, mostly in furtive glances as they undressed to bathe, but this feels different. She is allowed to look now, to savor the expanse of freckled skin, the soft rounded curve of her breasts, nipples puckering in the cool air. What's more, she's allowed to touch, to taste, and Cara doesn't hesitate.
Kahlan gasps as Cara takes a nipple in her mouth, teasing it with teeth and tongue. Leathered hands slide down to grip her sides, holding her in place as Cara's mouth explores her chest. Arousal knots low in her belly, and her hands fist in Cara's hair, her legs spreading to allow Cara to press closer. When Kahlan's hips begin to thrust against her stomach, Cara reluctantly pulls back, her hooded gaze locking onto blue eyes darkened with desire.
"You should lie back," she pants, pulling herself to her feet.
Kahlan obliges, her hunger receding slightly as Cara reaches for the rope. Heart pounding in her ears, she scoots back, raising her arms above her head.
Cara straddles her waist, reaching down to trace the side of her face. Kahlan leans into the touch, breathing in the smell of leather. She focuses on it, tries to swallow the lump that forms in her throat as Cara's hands slide up her arms.
Cara is gentle, almost reverent as she winds the rope around Kahlan's wrists, tugging gently to ensure that the knot is secure. Kahlan can feel the heat between Cara's legs searing into her ribs as the blonde reaches further to loop the rope through the slats in the headboard. She focuses on that feeling, clings to it, reminding herself of where she is and who she is with.
But her heart pounds in her chest at the feeling of the rope closing around her wrists, tightening securely above her head. Her eyes slam shut as her mind is flooded with memories, images of a time long past. She can almost hear her sister crying, see the wild anger and fear in her father's face.
She doesn't even realize she's stopped breathing until the soft brush of leather against her cheek coaxes her eyes open. Cara is looking down at her, eyes dark with a mixture of desire and concern. "If you want me to stop, I will."
Warmth blooms in Kahlan's chest at the sincerity in Cara's voice, driving back the fear. She is still terrified, but she knows she's making the right choice in this. The barest hint of a smile touches her lips as she nods. "I know."
The trust Kahlan is displaying brings moisture to Cara's eyes; she blinks it back as she leans down to capture Kahlan's mouth again, pouring all of the things she can't say into the kiss. Kahlan responds eagerly, her tongue slipping out to tease at Cara's lips.
Cara moans into Kahlan's mouth as the kiss deepens, and it takes all of her strength to remember her purpose. It would be all too easy to give in to the urgency of her desire, to take Kahlan hard and fast the way she's used to taking women. But Kahlan is not just any woman. Cara has given more thought to this than she'll ever admit, and she's going to do it right.
With one last swipe of her tongue, Cara pulls away, kissing along Kahlan's jaw. Her mouth is hot as it sucks languidly at Kahlan's neck. Gloved hands slide down the bare skin of her sides, goosebumps sprouting in their wake.
Kahlan's skin tightens as the cool air meets the trail of moisture left behind by Cara's tongue as the blonde lavishes her chest with ardent kisses. Cara moves lower, and Kahlan's stomach clenches as Cara's exploration continues.
Cara finds a particularly sensitive spot, and Kahlan arches against her. She tugs at her bonds almost unconsciously, the rope digging into her wrists. The cold rush of fear nearly stops her heart, even as her hips jerk up into Cara's chest. She gasps, drawing Cara's gaze to her.
Inhaling deeply, Kahlan forces back the memories, focuses on the burning ache between her legs, and the concern in Cara's eyes. She reminds herself that while she may not physically be able to free herself, she can release her bonds at any time with a word. She knows Cara will comply.
"Keep going," Kahlan breathes, trembling with apprehension and anticipation. Green eyes stay locked on blue as Cara drops a gentle kiss onto Kahlan's hipbone.
Then Cara is sliding her dress further down, tugging at the last of her clothing, pulling off her boots. Before long, Kahlan lies gloriously nude before her, and for a moment Cara is frozen in awe. Her tongue slips out to moisten her lips unconsciously as her eyes rake over Kahlan's body. Kahlan's cheeks flush under the scrutiny, but her modesty is forgotten when she takes in the depth of hunger in Cara's eyes.
"Cara," she almost whimpers, suddenly wanting her hands freed for an altogether different reason. She wants to reach for Cara, to bury her fingers in golden hair and guide that agile tongue exactly where her body is screaming for it.
A smug smile steals over Cara's lips, and her eyes never leave Kahlan's as her hands move to spread Kahlan's thighs. She leans down, breathing in the musky scent of Kahlan's glistening flesh. A strangled moan escapes Kahlan's throat as Cara's tongue slips out to take a taste, sliding through her dripping folds. It's like nothing Kahlan's ever felt before, hot and wet and exquisite. Cara indulges herself in unhurried exploration, savoring the thick tang of arousal before she pulls Kahlan's clit between her teeth.
Kahlan's hips thrust wantonly into her mouth, and Cara pushes against them with her hands, holding them in place as she sucks eagerly at Kahlan's sex. Kahlan gasps and moans with increasing urgency, and Cara relishes every moment of it.
Kahlan can feel her magic building, pushing against the boundaries she's struggling to keep in place. A different kind of fear fills her as she realizes that Cara is firmly attached to her skin.
"Cara!" Kahlan gasps frantically, her feet digging into the bed. The memories of her childhood couldn't be further from her mind as she struggles to free her hands, to pull Cara away somehow. "Cara, stop!"
Cara's head snaps up, her eyes zeroing in on Kahlan's. Passion is evident on her face, slick on her chin, but her eyes hold nothing but concern. Kahlan breathes a sigh of relief, pulling her control back around her.
"You-you were touching me," she pants, trying to erase the disappointment she sees behind Cara's eyes. Cara's lips, swollen and red, turn up in a smirk. Her eyebrow quirks, as though pointing out the obvious nature of Kahlan's statement. Kahlan won't admit it, not now, but that smirk causes the desire in her stomach to twist and pull, renewing the wetness between her legs. "I was...close."
With a grin, Cara slides up Kahlan's body, settling herself over her. Kahlan can smell her arousal on Cara's breath, taste herself as Cara leans in and claims her mouth. A leather-clad thigh settles between Kahlan's legs, sliding through the generous moisture there.
Kahlan tears her lips away, gasping in mild protest. "Your leathers-"
"Are already in dire need of cleaning," Cara says plainly, her voice rich with desire as she rocks her own hips against Kahlan's thigh. The heat there makes Cara's point clear, and a jolt of arousal shoots down Kahlan's spine, straight to her sex. Her eyes slam shut with the intensity of it, the knowledge of what she would find beneath Cara's clothing. They snap open again as Cara thrusts forward with her thigh, making contact with Kahlan's sensitive flesh.
"You need to be careful," Kahlan pleads breathlessly. Cara's lips turn up slightly, her eyebrow twitching as though Kahlan has just issued a challenge. But the raw fear in Kahlan's eyes, fear for Cara and not herself, convinces Cara to concede at least this once.
Pushing herself up to a kneeling position, she leers down at Kahlan as she slides a leather covered finger up the length of Kahlan's sex, circling her clit before sliding back down to tease at her entrance. Kahlan's hips jerk up into her hand, not-quite begging; inwardly, Cara muses that it might be closer to a demand.
One that Cara is happy to oblige. She smirks triumphantly when Kahlan lets out a long, low moan as a gloved finger slides slowly into her. Cara pulls back just enough to add a finger before thrusting in once more, Kahlan's heat clenching around her as she sets a steady rhythm.
Kahlan's neck arches back, the back of her head digging into the bed as she meets Cara's thrusts with ardor. Cara's thumb slams against her clit as the tempo increases, her arm pumping faster as she fills Kahlan over and over again.
The sensation flooding Kahlan's body is like nothing she's ever felt before, and she forces her eyes open to assure herself that this is real. She has known pleasure, by her own hand, but discreet trips to gather firewood pale in comparison to this. To the heat and vigor of Cara kneeling over her, hair matted with sweat, eyes growing dark and wild with lust. The sight alone is enough to bring Kahlan to the brink, arching against Cara's hand with abandon.
She is hardly aware of the licentious noises erupting from her throat, but Cara notices, savors each and every one. The sound floods Cara with heat, and she is quickly losing grip of her restraint. She has waited long enough for this moment, for the sight about to grace her vision. Her fingers curl inside of Kahlan, her thumb rubbing against Kahlan's clit as she coaxes her over the edge.
Kahlan's eyes slam shut, and she chokes back the sudden panic as her magic bursts free of her control, flooding the room with crackling energy. It washes over Cara like it did the first time, sparking between her leather and skin and setting her nerve endings ablaze. Kahlan's release is close behind, rocking her body with waves of intense pleasure. Her arms flex and pull at her bonds, aching with the desire to reach for Cara.
Cara slows her fingers, sliding gently in and out to milk every drop of pleasure from Kahlan's body. When she sees Kahlan's arms relax, feels her weight sink into the bed, it is clear that the danger has passed. It's all the indication Cara needs to abandon her careful distance and collapse at Kahlan's side, propping herself up on an elbow as her fingers slow to a stop, content to feel Kahlan's muscles clench around them.
She would keep going-she knows she could have Kahlan screaming her name until her voice was hoarse, and still demand more-but she is very aware of Kahlan's bound hands, of what Kahlan has willingly gone through just to give her this experience, and she refuses to be too selfish.
Kahlan lets out an indulgent sigh as Cara's fingers slide free, her eyelids still too heavy to lift. There was no shortage of air this time, but the release was more intense-she has to fight the exhaustion flooding her body as she recovers.
Then her hands are untied, and the rope hits the floor with a soft thud as Cara tosses it aside. Leathered hands stroke gently at the reddened skin circling her wrists, and her eyes flutter open to see Cara looking at her with a combination of wonder and curiosity.
Cara wants to ask what changed, what made Kahlan submit to this, when the idea so clearly terrified her, but she can't force the words from her throat for fear that she will wake up and it will all have been a dream. Not that Mord-Sith dream. But then, they also don't usually bed Confessors.
A lazy smile spreads across Kahlan's lips as she sees the question in Cara's eyes. "Ever since you brought it up, I haven't been able to think of anything else." Her voice is shaky, from emotion and exhaustion. "I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I...I trust you."
They're not the words she meant to say, and both of them know it. Still, they manage to leave Cara speechless. Her heart pounds in her throat, and she swallows hard to try to push it back down into her chest. She's not one to make sweet promises or flowery declarations of love-she isn't even sure she's ready to use that word, even in her own mind-but Kahlan makes her want to. "I would never betray that trust," she finally says. The words feel inadequate, but Kahlan seems to appreciate the emotion behind them.
"I know you wouldn't." Kahlan props herself up on an elbow, smiling as she tugs at Cara's hip, pulling her down to draw a lingering kiss from her lips. Cara happily obliges, her body resting against Kahlan's as the kiss intensifies. The warmth of the leather against her chilled skin causes arousal to surge through Kahlan anew, and her own desire-to wander the expanse of Cara's golden skin with tongue and teeth and fingers, to see her formidable lover tremble under her touch-is yet unfulfilled. Her fingers tug at the laces at Cara's side as she pulls back just enough to smirk into Cara's lips. "Now, how do I get these things off of you?"
end.