Scratch 1/?

[thecon12]

Okay, so I thought I’d jump on board and try the whole Erica after SGH/Callie thing. This was supposed to be a one shot but if I get any ideas floating around I may add a few more parts? Or maybe you’ll all tell me to leave it well alone and to just stick to Callica lol. Either way I gave it a little try and I actually had fun trying to imagine Erica’s life after she left Seattle and what kind of person I’d like to see her become friends with/fall for.

Anyways enough of my annoying ramblings...

Scratch

It had all happened pretty fast.

One minute Erica Hahn had been the head of cardiothoracic surgery at one of Seattle’s top hospitals, she’d had a beautiful house, a new understanding of her sexuality and a best-friend turned something more.

And the next, she was laying flat on her back down on the ground.

Okay, so two out of the four had gone badly. But if the odds were only out of four, then that meant she’d at least gotten half way up the ladder to happiness, and that was far more progress than she’d ever made than before in her life.

At first it hadn’t been okay that Seattle Grace hadn’t been what she’d thought, in fact it pissed her off to no end to know just what kind of a circus Chief Webber was running among his surgical staff, and it definitely hadn’t been okay that Callie had forgotten their friendship in her newfound panic and carelessly discarded their broken relationship to the gutter without so much as a fight.

But for a short time at least, she had owned a beautiful house in the rainy state of Seattle, she had worked at one of the top hospitals in the state, and she had moved past that line of friendship with Callie into something more, and after Erica had felt the heartache for all that had been lost, she realised one important thing; she’d forgotten to see the whole picture.

That whole picture wasn’t necessarily a completed piece by far, but she had taken a huge leap, she’d chanced her heart’s desire and come out with the knowledge that she was very much a forty-one year old, late blooming, lesbian.

It was knowing that that final picture wasn’t complete that had given Erica a clear head to start again, to dust herself up off of the floor and keep moving forward. She wasn’t sure if moving forward meant moving state but that’s what she’d done, and luckily her surgical qualifications had job offers flowing in from everywhere.

She’d wanted somewhere different, somewhere she’d never been and never even thought about; so when an offer came for the head position of cardiothoracic at Denver Presbyterian in Colorado she’d taken it without a second thought. She’d handed in her resignation at Seattle Grace, put her house on the market and without saying goodbye to anyone, she left Seattle forever without looking back.

When she arrived in Denver that weekend, she’d taken a deep breath of the fresh air and held her head high as she started to gather all that was needed to build the new foundation for her life. She’d had a helpful realtor that had managed to find her a roomy apartment in a lovely area near to the hospital, and her first week at her new job had been a perfect success; residents and interns followed rules and kept their minds focused on the job at all times and she’d even found herself wanting to teach her eager and yet not overbearing cardio resident.

But it was a Thursday night when Erica found herself craving something familiar. Her mind had been filled with new this and new that, that she hadn’t had time to think about the simple comforts she’d left behind, about how lonely starting all over again really was. But it was her new Chief, Dr Gibson, who demanded she take a day off, who insisted she take Thursday off to see some of the sights and get used to her new home.

Despite her protests, getting to know her new home city was exactly what she’d done. She’d spent the day wondering the streets with a tourist guide and map in hand and visited a few of the places that appealed to her; it had all been lovely, everything here was nice but it was still... lonely.

It was the persistent twinge of loneliness that forced her to continue her exploration of the city well into the night in search of a place that hopefully could become her safe haven. Erica stopped outside of the building and looked up at its sign; her blue eyes taking in the welcoming writing and the bar’s easy name of “Sky’s”. She tugged her jacket a little closer as the first signs of the evening air breezed across her face and took a steadying breath to calm her nerves as she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Her nose was instantly granted the smell of stale smoke and alcohol, and as her eyes skimmed the low lit bar, she made sure to take note that this place reminded her a little of Joe’s. She avoided eye contact with the few people seated at their tables and headed straight towards the bar.

As Erica settled into one of the bar stools she was greeted by a middle aged man with jet black hair, smiling brown eyes and pearly white teeth, “Hey there, what can I get you?”

“Wine please,” she nodded to a bottle behind him, “Make it a glass of that,” the guy swiftly grabbed a glass and poured the ruby liquid into it before setting it back in front of her, “How much do I owe you?”

He shook his head at once, “Consider this one on the house,” He held his hand up as Erica opened her mouth to protest, “You’re new, I don’t remember seeing you in here before, and well I remember every person’s face who walks into my bar,” he offered her a beaming smile, “Plus you look a little lonely,” he paused for a minute reading the expression on her face before holding out his hand, “I’m Karl, the owner of the place.”

Normally she’d feel annoyed by such a presumptuous person butting into her life, but the man standing before her put her at ease, and that was something she’d missed since she’d moved away from the life she’d known. A new approach had been her motto since walking away from Seattle and that was exactly what she reminded herself of as she extended her hand, “Nice to meet you Karl, I’m Erica,” she offered him a smile and took a sip of her drink, “Thank you for the drink.”

“Not a problem. I hope I’ll see more of you in here, because I have this rule, once you enter my bar, you have to return,” he watched an amused expression dance across her blue eyes before raising an eyebrow, “Can I consider you a regular as of now Erica?”

Erica shook her head and smiled, “Well since you have rules I guess so Karl.”

He nodded his head over to a couple of guy’s waiting over the other end of the bar, “Duty calls, but it was nice to meet you Erica. I hope that next time you come we’ll have more time to talk, I like to get to know my regulars.”

“I don’t really like people,” she wasn’t sure why she’d blurted that admittance out to him, but ever since she’d arrived in Colorado she’d been trying to change the way she was, and most of it was going pretty well except her general dislike for people.

He reached out and covered the hand she had resting on the bar briefly, “Then you’ll fit right in here,” he offered her a half smile, “But you and me will be friends Erica because I’m a nosey guy, I ask a lot of questions and you look like you could use a friend,” when he saw a flash of what appeared to be anger flash in her eyes he shrugged, “Or at least a trusty barman to spill you drunken secrets too.”

Erica let out a chuckle and nodded her head, “That would be good,” he smiled at her again before turning his back and heading over to his other customers. He was annoying to say the least, nosey as all barmen tended to be and yet she liked him.

She sat quietly sipping at her wine and taking in the small groups of people who all seemed to be lost in their own worlds. It was nice to finally be sitting in a bar where people she knew and recognised weren’t lingering at every angle just waiting to ruin her evening. She smiled to herself when her eyes caught sight of a familiar item on the wall and she hurried over to it; if there was one familiarity that could always calm her nerves and thoughts it was darts.

Erica plucked the darts easily from the board and headed over to the line. Getting her position and balance she made her aim and released the dart from her fingertips; watching closely as the dart flew through the air and landed in the board.

Her blue eyes narrowed to see where the dart had landed and she growled in irritation to see that her nearly always perfect aim was in fact very off. Snatching the other two darts up from next to her wine she repeated the process of finding her aim and allowing the darts to fly from her fingers.

When all three of the darts had made their mark in the board she walked over to it to examine the extent of her skills. A frown instantly settled on her lips as she noted that her darts were all over the board, nowhere near the precision that she normally played with.

“Off your game tonight?” Erica turned at the unexpected voice and let her eyes dance over the woman leaning against the bar studying her, “Or are you usually this bad?”

Erica allowed her eyes to take in the woman before her; she was tall and lean with an olive skin complex and her light brown hair was messily gripped up with a clip, allowing a few free strands to hang down around her face, framing her twinkling marble grey eyes and cheeky smile. Erica shook her head and scowled back at her in response; plucking the darts swiftly from the board. She walked back to the line trying desperately to ignore the feel of the woman’s penetrating gaze as she attempted to find her lost dart skills.

The woman waited until the blonde had finished another round of poor dart throwing before walking up to the board and retrieving them herself, “You know it’s rude to ignore people that try to make conversation with you,” she held the darts out for Erica to take and then pulled them back against her chest out of the blonde’s reach, “You’re not very social are you?” She shook her head before Erica could open her mouth to respond and smirked, “I’ll make you a deal, for each of the darts I land in the bulls eye, you have to answer one of the questions I ask you, and if I get all three in the bulls eye you have to have a drink with me,” she turned towards the board and looked over her shoulder to find Erica’s blue eyes, “Deal?”

Erica pursed her lips together for a second before nodding her head, “Deal.”

The woman smiled playfully at her and turned her attention back to the darts board. Erica wasn’t sure if she liked this woman or not, usually she wasn’t one to suffer the teasing comments from another person and have someone so easily question her, she was after all Dr Hahn, and anyone who knew better would watch their mouth... but then again this woman had no idea who she was, so maybe it wasn’t as bad as she thought, maybe in fact this woman was actually quite endearing.

Erica’s blue eyes watched as the dart whirled through the air and settled directly in the red bulls eyes. The brunette turned back to her at once with a smirk and raised an eyebrow at Erica’s shock, “Oh I guess I forgot to mention, I’m kick ass at darts,” she watched for the first time, a slight smile tug at the corner of the blonde’s lips, “Question number one, I’ll start with something simple, what’s your name?”

“You’re really annoying,” Erica let a small smile form on her lips as the other woman took a swig of her beer.

“So I’ve heard, but stop dodging the question, we had a deal and I still have two more darts to show off with.”

“I’m Erica,” she watched the woman smile in satisfaction and return back to the board, “Wait, don’t I get to know your name in return?”

The woman turned back to her at once, “I didn’t think you’d want to know my name, you did ignore me after all.”

Erica scrunched her hands up into fists, god this woman was annoying. Annoying and cocky and not to mention unnaturally beautiful, “I don’t like you already.”

The woman let out a chuckle in response, “You like me,” she stated it as a fact and smirked, “And since you’re finally being friendly I’ll let you have this one; my name’s Renée.”

The second dart landed with a deafening little thud and Erica groaned, she hated this deal already, “I know I know,” she shrugged as Renée’s playful gaze found hers again, “What’s the second question?”

“Why are you here?”

Erica’s eyebrows rose in confusion, “Why am I here?” Renée nodded her head, “You do realise that that’s the vaguest question ever; it could mean anything.”

Renée sipped her beer again, “It means why are you here Erica? Why Denver? Why this bar? Why tonight? Why are you here alone? Why?”

“You do realise that’s like ten questions in one?”

Renée beamed a cheeky smile back at her, “Well you never stated in the deal that I had to ask direct questions, so go on, answer.”

Erica bit at her bottom lip, she hated playing games, she hated having no control in what she could and couldn’t say and yet this beautiful, annoyingly pushy brunette was demanding her to push past her barrier of holding back and open up to her.

“You are aware that we’re strangers right? That we don’t know each other? I’m not sure I’m comfortable with you asking me any questions at all.”

Renée cocked an eyebrow, “Firstly we’re no longer strangers Erica, that’s why I asked for your name first and secondly you’re in here alone, I’m here alone, what’s the harm in getting to know each other a little.”

Erica glared at her, “What if I like being in here on my own, what if I don’t want to get to know you?”

“If you don’t want to talk to me then why haven’t you told me to get lost already?” she watched a glimmer of anger flash in Erica’s eyes and smiled smugly knowing she was right, “Are you going to answer my question? Or are you going to spend all night pretending you don’t want to?”

Erica thought about finishing her wine and leaving the bar, but it was the way Renée’s grey eyes stayed trained on her own that made her realise that this was the first conversation she’d had with anyone outside of the hospital since she’d arrived here, and maybe getting to know this woman wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“I’m here because I moved to Colorado a week ago for a job,” she tore her eyes away from Renée’s and looked past her at the dart board, “I’m in this bar tonight because it’s the first day I’ve had off from the hospital since I got here and when I walked past this bar tonight it reminded me of a bar I used to go to in Seattle,” she flicked her eyes back to the brunette’s and pursed her lips together as she fought against the dryness in her mouth, “And I’m here alone because I don’t like people, I don’t make friends easily and I recently got my heart broken. Does that answer your stupid question well enough?”

Renée ignored the anger that crept into Erica’s tone and smiled gently, “You work at the hospital? You’re a doctor?”

Erica nodded, “I’m a cardiothoracic surgeon at Denver Presbyterian,” she felt a little relieved that the other woman had allowed the ‘heart broken’ part of her answer to be ignored, “What about you? Do I get to know why you’re here tonight?”

“I always come here,” she shrugged, “It’s a quite bar, not too many nosey people and a good darts board.”

“Not many nosey people except you right?”

Renée smiled, “Yes, except me. I don’t really like mixing with people I meet in bars, they’re normally after a drunken chitchat and I’m not interested in being anyone’s one night friend.”

Erica looked at her in disbelief, “If you don’t want somebody as a friend for one night why are you bothering with me? I don’t like people either you know-”

“That’s why I decided to talk to you, we have that in common,” she smiled sweetly, “Look after you’ve had a drink with me tonight, if you decide you don’t like me then I’ll leave you alone I promise, but can you just do me a favour and give it a chance?”

Erica finally smiled fully, “You’ve got to get the third dart into the bulls eyes what makes you think you can do it for a-” she watched Renée turn to the board and easily throw the dart into the bulls eyes, “You set this deal up because you knew you’d win.”

Renée laughed, “Obviously,” she gestured to Erica’s empty wine glass, “What can I get you to drink?”

Erica let out a breath and decided to stop fighting all of thoughts in her head that told her to give this woman a chance, “Red wine please.”

Renée pointed to a booth off in the far corner, “Why don’t you go grab the seats while I go get the drinks and we can move on to question number three.”

Erica smirked, “I want to ask some questions too.”

“That depends on if your dart skills improve within the next hour,” she gave Erica a wink and headed towards the bar.

Erica allowed herself to fully study the other woman as she settled into the booth and waited for Renée to return with their drinks. She was dressed casually in jeans and a grey long sleeved t-shirt, the tip of her scuffed brown boots was peeking out from the bottom of her jeans and she had a long chained necklace that settled just below the valley of her breasts. She had wonderfully long legs, her hips curved out in just the right proportion to her breasts and-

“Are you checking me out?”

Erica looked up in surprise as Renée held out a drink to her, she’d been caught red handed openly admiring the woman’s body, great this was just what she needed, a perfect stranger calling her out on her love for the ladies. Erica ignored the heated flush that she felt creeping up her neck and settling on her cheeks and shook her head, “I... erm...I’m...of course not.”

A smirk tugged at Renée’s lips as she settled herself into the seat opposite the blonde, “You so were, there’s no need to deny it,” she let her eyes dance from Erica’s face down her neck, to openly stare at the cleavage revealed by the blonde’s red shirt. She chuckled when her eyes met blue once again and the blush on Erica’s cheeks intensified; “Now I’d say we’re even.”

Erica dropped her gaze down to her wine and cleared her throat; aching to release some of the tension she felt building in her body, “Let’s get this over with, what’s the third question?”

“Are you always this eager to change the subject when a woman flirts with you?”

Erica lifted her eyes back to Renée’s, “Is that what we’re doing? Are you flirting with me?”

“I’m trying to, but I’m starting to wonder if I got the signals mixed up, you are gay right?”

Erica sighed and took a sip of her wine, “Yes I’m gay,” she paused for a moment and shrugged, “Newly discovered gay.”

Renée let out a breath of relief, “Oh thank god for that; I thought my flirting really sucked.”

“It does,” Erica challenged back playfully, suddenly finding herself feeling more comfortable, “Get on with the last question would you.”

“The heart break that led you to leave Seattle that was your first girl right?” Renée asked tentatively.

Erica’s brow furrowed as a frown settled on her face, “Is this the question or just you being nosey?”

“It’s the question... but you don’t have to answer it if it’s making you uncomfortable.”

Erica sipped at her wine and thought over what she wanted to do. Did she tell Renée the truth about why she’d left Seattle and how new this whole ‘gay’ thing was to her, or did she tell her to butt out of her past and mind her own business?

After an awkward silence passed between them Erica blew out a deep breath, “Yes, the heart break I suffered in Seattle was with the first woman I’ve ever been with,” she watched Renée nod her head and smile at her encouragingly, “I’ve always thought I was straight until I became friends with her and then something just...”

“Shifted?”

Erica nodded and smiled back, “Yeah I guess you could say that. She was straight too and we were friends,” she sipped at her wine again, “We tried to make it work and it was clumsy and awkward and I fell for her while she went off and slept with men behind my back.”

Renée reached out to touch her hand but thought better of it and pulled back, “If it makes you feel any better than I can tell you that you’re already over some of the hardest parts, that first girl, especially if she’s straight always causes problems and knocks you off your feet, but the best part is once you fall down you can pick yourself up again and this time you’ll be a little bit wiser.”

Erica scoffed and smiled a little, “I wish I was a little wiser, but I don’t have any idea how to do this, I don’t know where to start. I’m forty-one years old; life would have been so much easier if I had figured this out in my twenties.”

Renée chuckled, “Maybe, or maybe not. I was eighteen when I realised I was gay and now I’m thirty-eight and I still don’t feel like I’ve gotten it all figured out,” she gave Erica a cheeky smile, “You might be a late-bloomer but that doesn’t mean you’re over the hill, you’ve got the rest of your life to catch up on lost time with the ladies,” Erica let out a little laugh and rolled her eyes, “Seriously Erica, just be brave, embrace it, being gay and celebrating it by being out is going to be the best part of your life.”

Erica smiled, “Baby steps I guess.”

“Definitely,” Renée sipped at her beer, “So how do you like Denver so far?”

Erica smirked, “You said I had to answer three questions, no more or no less, and you’ve had your three.”

Renée raised an eyebrow, “So I give you all of my lesbian wisdom and you’re ready to throw away our friendship,” she held a hand up to her chest and mocked hurt, “I’m so upset.”

Erica laughed, “If that was all of your lesbian wisdom than I feel sorry for you,” Renée laughed in response, “You really are annoying.”

“Yeah I know, but that doesn’t stop you from liking me.”

“And you’re confident, which makes you irritating.”

Renée shook her head, “I’m not confident, I just want to get to know you,” she shrugged, “I like you.”

“You don’t know anything about me, how can you like me?”

“Well for starters you’re beautiful, all blue eyed, blonde and legs that go on forever,” she chuckled when Erica averted her gaze and shuffled in her seat, “And I already know some things about you, you’re a heart surgeon, you lived in Seattle, you’re crap at darts and you’re newly gay,” she smiled when Erica met her eyes again, “Not a lot I know, but that’s how this whole getting to know each other thing works.”

“I’m not normally crap at darts, it’s just been awhile since I last played; normally I’m unbeatable.”

Renée cocked a brow, “Really? Well I guess I’ll have to challenge you to another game sometime,” she glanced over at the barman and nodded her head, “Looks like Karl wants to shut up for night, you need a lift home?”

Erica followed Renée’s lead and stood from the booth, and shrugging on her jacket, “No I’m good, I only live a couple of blocks away.”

Renée batted Erica’s hand away as she went to leave money on the table to cover the drinks, “This time it’s on me,” she gave her a smile and then turned towards Karl, “I’ll see you tomorrow night Karl, same time as usual. I left the cash on the table to cover mine and Erica’s drinks okay?”

She watched him nod his head and wave goodnight to them before holding the door open for Erica and allowing her to pass. She smiled in amusement as Erica shuffled uncomfortably on her feet, looking unsure of herself as to whether she should say goodnight or not.

“You come here every night then?”

Renée smiled and tugged her jacket around her body, “Most nights, I like coming here to relax after a hard day of work.”

“What line of work do you do?” It was probably a little late to act interested but Erica felt a strange pang of sadness in her chest that this woman may walk out of her life in a moment and that she wouldn’t get the chance to see her again.

Renée smiled a little, “Oh now you’re interested,” she saw Erica glance away from her, a look of defeat forming on her face and a flash of vulnerability settling into her beautifully clear blue eyes. Without think she reached into her pocket and pulled out a pen and with her other hand grabbed Erica’s wrist and tugged her closer and letting their eyes meet, “I’ll make you another deal, I’ll give you some time to think about what you want and I’ll leave you with my number,” Erica watched as the tip of the pen rolled across her palm and left a trail of dark blue ink, “And if you decide you want to hang out, friends, more than friends, or maybe just that game of darts, then you can give me a call and we’ll arrange it and get to know each other a little more. Deal?” she lifted Erica’s hand to her mouth and blew out her warm breath in an attempt to make the ink dry faster.

Erica felt her skin tingle as Renée’s breath whirled against her skin and let her eyes drink in the stylishly curled writing that was now etched onto her skin. It was juvenile in a way, to have someone write their name and number across your hand, it was something Erica had seen happen loads of times and yet somehow the experience had passed her by.

When Erica lifted her eyes to meet Renée’s the woman was smiling at her, she bit at her bottom lip  for a second before returning a shy smile of her own, “Deal.”

Renée dropped Erica’s hand and watched as the blonde nervously took a couple of steps away from her. She rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself as she watched the blonde glance nervously at her mouth before nodding her head and saying goodnight.

“Hey Erica, I think I forgot something.”

Erica turned back around and watched as Renée moved towards her, gently tucking a piece of her stray blonde hair behind her ear and leaning down to tenderly brush their lips together. Without letting her overactive brain analyse what was happening, she moved her hands to Renée’s hips and tugged her a little closer.  Erica felt the brunette’s tongue sneak out to dance across her bottom lip and instantly opened her mouth in invitation, unable to contain the moan that broke free as their tongues met in a mutual caress.

Renée pulled back with a smile and ran her thumb over Erica’s pouty bottom lip, “I knew you liked me.”

Erica rolled her eyes, “You really are unbelievably cocky and annoying.”

Renée laughed and pressed another chaste kiss on her lips, “Yes, I am. But you’ll ring me because you like me too.”

Erica watched Renée move towards her car and shook her head, “I should hate you, people like you and people like me don’t normally mix well.”

The brunette pulled open her car door and peered at Erica over smirking, “Just give it a try Erica, you’ll learn to love me,” she ducked into her car and started the engine, pulling up to Erica and opening her window, “Remember we have a deal, so call me.”

Erica shrugged, “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t.”

Renée smiled at her again, “I’ll look forward to your call Erica.”

Erica watched as her car pulled away and smiled to herself. Today she’d explored the new city she lived in and still felt as lonely as when she arrived in all of its newness, and tonight she’d found comfort in slightly familiar surroundings with her favourite soothing pastime. She’d even been so lucky as to find someone, a woman, to talk to, no matter how annoying she was.

So maybe taking her day off to get to know her new home hadn’t been such a bad idea, maybe life was finally looking up for her, and maybe you really could find something new in something so familiar as a simple game of darts.