-
Discussion Group Question 7
Do holes exist? If so, what physical properties do they have? Is an absence an object? Is nothing something? -
Nobody knows the nubbin I seen.
Let's try something: for every block of Shaker furniture copy I write, I will allow myself to type up one paragraph in this entry. This is the only way I will successfully appease my readerships at LiveJournal and ludicrouslypricedfurniture.com ( Read more... ) -
I don't need you and all of that jiving around.
I don't really write in my LiveJournal anymore because I have nothing to complain about and I am not any good at writing public interest or opinion pieces. Most of my worthwhile anecdotes are too sordid to recount due to the large percentage of this journal's readership that happens to be my concerned mother. On top of that, I am still recovering ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
The wicker people sent this to Murray, who sent it to me.
Subject: A quick grammar lesson
Not for you, for the guy who's writing the beds etc.
Please tell him that when an adverb ends in "ly," such as "gorgeously" or "intricately," there is no hyphen after it. Ever.Hey, lady. I'll fix my English when you call me something other than "the guy ( Read more... ) -
Wickery dickery dock.
A tisket, a tasket,
bury me in a wicker casket.
I just spent eight mad hours writing copy for wickerfurniture.com. My money word distribution was something like this:
1. elegant - 33%
2. charming - 24%
3. debonnair - 18%
4. par excellence - 11%
5. ambiance - 4%
6. aesthetic - 2%
7. dapper - 2%
(several archaic French terms tied for 8th)I'm ( Read more... ) -
That gig is over.
Replace Ted Danson with an evangelical, lazy-eyed mother of six and you had this morning's last episode of OTC Cheers. It was a tearjerker. There wasn't a dry google-eye in the place ( Read more... ) -
This is Council Bluffs, not the French Café.
I'm training to run a marathon, but which one will I run? I need to find a suitably gimmicky race, one that I will be able to finish on the strength of irony alone ( Read more... ) -
16/771: NOSE WITH HAIR
PJ838, 3" NOSE W/ 2.5" BLK HAIR:
ORDER IS FOR 3" PLASTIC NOSE WITH ADHESIVE ON INSIDE TO ATTACH TO YOUR NOSE, 2 THICK 2 1/2" STRANDSS OF BLACK HAIR HANGING OUT OF NOSTRILS.
1/24/05: SAMPLE IS NOT APPROVED. THE NOSE HAIR NEEDS TO BE HAIR NOT YARN. THE NOSE HAIR NEEDS TO BE 2 1/2" LONG. THE NOSE NEEDS TO BE BETTER QUALITY AND 3" PLASTIC NOSE. ( Read more... ) -
the money you make is equal to the money you take
Wow. This beard really looks like hell. It is made of felt. When I yawn, it snaps over my jawbone like an elastic chinstrap. It will grow for a week and then fall out. It is an OTC exclusive. You are where you work, I guess ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Out with the old and in with the Nubians.