Here a Chan, There a Yeol, (Everywhere a Chanyeol)
Title: Here a Chan, There a Yeol, (Everywhere a Chanyeol)
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: exobubz
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Word Count: 9,822
Summary: Old Baek'Donald had a farm e i e i o
Warnings: None
Rating: PG-13
One
It’s two o’clock in the afternoon, and Baekhyun’s already cranky as hell.
After calling Sehun’s name three times - who conveniently has the kitchen radio turned on to the highest possible volume and is stubbornly concentrated on a women’s clothing magazine - at varying distances, the closest being two feet away from said boy, Baekhyun slams his coffee mug on the dining table and throws himself into a chair, crossing his arms and pursing his lips.
Sehun looks up. He raises an eyebrow. “Damn, what’s got your panties all in a twist?”
“The latest worker quit. He just left. He didn’t even give me a heads up,” Baekhyun seethes.
“I wonder why.” Sehun deadpans, flipping to the next page. “Oh, look, J.Crew cardigans are on sale.”
Baekhyun jumps out of his seat and begins to pace around the island in the kitchen. “Alright, we’re going to need a new guy because this thing won’t function with just the two of us. And we’re going to need to find someone soon. Someone who is capable and can handle this farm life, someone who...” One glance at Sehun reveals that absolutely everything that Baekhyun has said has been ignored. “Hey! Did you hear that?”
“Of course,” Sehun points a finger into his magazine. “Buy this for me, and I’ll help.”
÷
The interviews begin the following week. Word of the new opening at Byun Farm has been spread by the local paper and Facebook. The previous Friday, work had come to an abrupt halt after Sehun ended up screaming at Baekhyun to stop asking him for the “five billionth fucking time about whether or not you should fucking put a fucking ad in the fucking town morning announcements because no one fucking cares”.
Baekhyun is in slacks and a salmon-colored button up. In the course of three minutes, he glances at his watch seven times before the first interviewee even comes up the front steps.
“Fuck. Where did the little shithead go,” He mutters under his breath. It’s nine in the morning and Sehun is nowhere to be found. Baekhyun rubs his eyes and looks up at the person before him.
“Hey, Baekhyun! How’s it going?” The man asks. Baekhyun starts as he realizes that he actually vaguely recognizes this ‘stranger’. A familiar face that he can’t put a name to.
“Ummm. I’m good, I guess.” Biggest understatement of the century. “How are you, uhh…”
“Kim Minseok! Remember me? I was in AP Bio with you.” A vivid memory of the AP Hell classroom and all of its wonderful horrors comes flooding back. “Can’t say it’s been much use so far, to be honest,” Minseok laughs.
“Oh, I remember now. With that old grump of a teacher.” Baekhyun has to bite his tongue to suppress the sheer desire to use a stronger word than ‘grump’. “But yeah... Long time no see!”
“No kidding. So, I saw the advertisement that you are offering a position…” Minseok trails off.
Baekhyun runs through all the standard questions - “Prior experience?” “Why are you interested in working here?” and even gives him a quick tour of the farm. It’s when they’re walking back to Minseok’s car, however, that an uncomfortable topic surfaces.
“I’ve been meaning to ask. How’s your boyfriend? Park Chanyeol, was it?” Minseok asks innocently.
Baekhyun laughs, an odd noise that sounds like the hybrid offspring between a parrot and a whale. “We broke up.”
Absolute chagrin fills Minseok’s face with color; his jaw drops to the ground, and he barely stammers out an awkward “I-I had no idea! I’m so sorry!”
“I’m not.” Baekhyun says flatly. He all but shoves Minseok into his car. “Have a good day.”
÷
Thirty minutes later, Baekhyun is still not okay.
However, his mind temporarily shoves everything else to the back when he catches sight of the little shithead strutting up the driveway, a cup of Starbucks in each hand.
“One for you,” Sehun hands Baekhyun a cup and takes a sip of his own. “What’s with the look, hyung?
“Well, while you drove your ass to Starbucks, I’ve been here trying to find some new people.“
Sehun looks at Baekhyun from head to toes. “Ehh. You’re still alive. You must have managed okay.”
“I am not okay!” Baekhyun squawked. Sehun actually pauses mid-sip at his outburst and waits curiously for his hyung to finish. “The last person was someone I knew from high school. Someone who-” He drops his voice to a whisper, forcing Sehun to lean closer. “Someone who mentioned He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
Sehun bursts out laughing. “Dear God.”
Baekhyun is about to shoot back a very colorful response when the next car pulls up to the farmhouse.
A man holding a Gucci bag steps out of the car. An obnoxious G is embellished on the front of his pants.
“Hello!” The man waves. Baekhyun starts to smile, but squints his eyes instead.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Tao.” The man gives a wide grin.
“Tao… hey, weren’t you the one who would always ask me for lunch money?" He raises his closed fist to the side of his face for added emphasis. "Bbuing bbuing?”
“I had more important things to spend my own money on.”
Baekhyun is unimpressed. “That?” He asks flatly, gesturing to the bag.
Tao chuckles. “Of course. It’s becoming quite a collection. I’m almost at twelve!” Baekhyun gives an exasperated sigh.
“Are you here for the interview position too?” Tao nods. Baekhyun runs through all the standard questions once again. He doesn't, however, ask the man if he would like to take a tour of the farm; something tells him the designer loafers won't do well in the barn manure.
As Tao gets ready to leave, he leans forward and captures Baekhyun in a hug, brushing his lips against his cheek. Behind them, Sehun gags.
Tao leans back and looks Baekhyun up and down. “I miss high school so much," He says, his voice dripping with overdone regret. Then, his whole expression changes to one of mischief. "Those good old days when Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol were sent to the principal's office every week for making out in the Biology lab during lunch break."
Tao scampers off before Baekhyun can throw him over the fence - finally, a life application for all that hapkido - and leaves behind a fuming Baekhyun and a howling Sehun.
“Baek, I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff," Sehun barely chokes out. He attempts to wink, but ends up blinking instead.
“That’s nothing.” Baekhyun mutters under his breath, a slight smirk grazing his lips. But it slips off when Sehun raises an eyebrow. “I mean, it’s nothing as in I don’t care anymore. I. Just. Don’t worry about it.” Baekhyun finishes lamely, praying to the heavens that Sehun will fall for that poor excuse.
By the way Sehun rolls his eyes and snorts, the chances of that are slim to none.
÷
Another car pulls up. The man gets out, begins to frantically look for his keys, realizes they are hooked on his finger, and walks up to the house like nothing ever happened.
“I saw that,” Sehun calls out. He receives a dirty look, but other than that he is mostly ignored.
“Look who it is. Baekhyun. The boy who was never good enough to get the lead of the musical.” The man crosses his arms.
“Burn,” Sehun whispers.
“And look who it is. Luhan. The boy who could never hold his note for half as long as I could.” Baekhyun glances over him. “Sorry, but I’m not going to interview you, Ms. Queen of Sass.”
“You’re still bitter that I got the lead for High School Musical, and you only got the part of the sidekick, Ron.”
“It was Ryan, thank you very much. And they only put you for the lead because you were a little more coordinated with the basketball. But you know, it all worked out because Ryan got to show off his vocal prowess anyway.” Baekhyun smirks.
“Yixing told me that Kris told him that Chanyeol told him that you cried the whole night after you find out you didn’t make callbacks.”
“Jongdae told me that Jongin told him that Kyungsoo told him that Yixing told him that you used to have the biggest crush on Chanyeol all during high school.” Baekhyun flips his hair, a flawlessly pretty smile gracing his face. “And look who ended up with him.”
Sehun balks. “But wait, hyung, you broke-”
“Chanyeol’s always been on the stupider side of things anyways.”
“He’s got impeccable taste in men though.”
Sehun once again tries to interrupt. “Baekhyun hyung, you broke up with-”
“His dick is bomb. I would know. ” Baekhyun makes a wild attempt to cut through Sehun’s offensive words.
“One day he’ll wise up and break up with you.”
Baekhyun nearly claws Luhan’s smug face. “Bitch, if anyone were to do the breaking up, it would be me, since I already-”
“Oh my god, Baek, don’t-”
“BROKE UP WITH HIM.”
Sehun moans in second-hand embarrassment while Luhan screams in delight and seizes Baekhyun’s hands. “Omigosh. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? This is juicy. Spill it.”
÷
Baekhyun and Sehun have been watching reruns of School 2013 and making small talk about the weather when Sehun makes a sudden offer to microwave popcorn for the two of them. Baekhyun narrows his eyes when Sehun all-too-eagerly bounces out of his seat and over to the kitchen. To test his suspicions, he innocently asks if Sehun would “be an angel and add butter afterwards”.
Just as he suspected, Sehun answers with a winning Nature Republic CF smile and a sweet “anything for hyung-ah”.
When he comes back with a bowl full of steaming golden popcorn and cuddles into Baekhyun’s side affectionately, he finally brings up the cause for this change in personality. “So, funny story hyung.”
“What.”
“Sehunnie found a beehive near the orchard.”
Baekhyun sighs and reaches over to get his phone. “Just leave them alone. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother-”
“And Sehunnie’s curiosity kinda got the better of him so Sehunnie kinda poked it with a stick to see what would happen. And the bees kinda started to come out and Sehunnie realized that -surprise!- the beehive was actually a wasphive and long story short, there are wasps all over the farm.” Sehun giggles. “I’m- so cute and curious.”
“Are you stupid? Or is your common sense so advanced that I fail to comprehend?” Baekhyun pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why couldn’t they just have stung you to death so I wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore?”
“Because you love me and you would die without me,” Sehun cooes, butting his head against Baekhyun’s shoulder. “And also because I run faster than Usain Bolt when there are wasps involved.”
Baekhyun dumps the popcorn bowl over Sehun’s head in response to that last statement.
÷
There is an urgent email sent out to the local paper: the location of the interviews for Byun Farm have been changed. The two of them finally agree on the nice Italian restaurant on Main Street (agree meaning Baekhyun typed “sushi restaurant” and Sehun screamed and they wrestled over the laptop until Sehun bit him, changed it to “Italian”, and then pressed ‘send’). The next morning, Baekhyun greets the exterminators through their screen door, and then he and Sehun make a run for their red truck. They arrive first and a pretty waitress with sleek black hair that waves down her back leads them to their private room.
“I want Fettucini Alfredo and peach gelato,” Sehun says before the waitress can even hand them menus.
“He will have a cup of tap water and some mints from the receptionist’s desk,” Baekhyun snaps. Sehun glares at him. The waitress seems unsure if Baekhyun is serious.
Before another petty fight can break out, however, their first interviewee is led in by another attractive waiter. Baekhyun stands quickly, bowing; Sehun follows suit only after a swift kick is aimed at his ankles.
“Hey! How you guys doing? I’m Jongdae.” The man chuckles. He gives an easygoing nod in their general vicinity and collapses into a chair, running a hand through his still wet hair.
“Aren’t you-” Sehun glances up and down.
"That rodent mascot thing for Sideview High School?" Baekhyun finishes, squinting at the lanky boy; he has a vague recollection of Chanyeol yanking the ridiculously large chipmunk (or whatever it had been) head off of a weedy high school-version of Jongdae and throwing a sweaty arm around him after they won Regionals for basketball.
“Selena the Squirrel,” Jongdae says, his smile too tight for sincerity.
“Can you still do those cartwheels and leg splits?” Sehun asks innocently.
“Maybe. I could try.” The man stands up and leans to the side to begin his cartwheel.
Baekhyun hears the crunch of joints.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing. Sit your ass down because there is no way in hell I’m taking you to the emergency room,” Baekhyun fumes.
Sehun bitterly mimics Baekhyun’s rant in a high-pitched tone, dropping his head to the table and looking utterly put out.
Jongdae laughs and goes back to his chair. “So, it’s Baekhyun, right? And Se...?”
“Sehun.” Baekhyun disguises his snort as a cough after his trained eye catches the annoyed twitch of Sehun’s lips. “Don’t forget next time.”
“Right. My bad,” Jongdae says, not looking the least bit sorry. “Anyway, I heard that you guys are looking for another farm worker or whatever. Not to seem full of it, but,” Jongdae puffs out his chest. “I think I’d be the perfect candidate.”
Sehun doesn’t even try to hide his judgemental stare.
Baekhyun clears out his throat. Professional facade back on. Opening his MacBook Air, he politely asks, “Have you had any prior experience?”
There is a slightly awkward pause. Jongdae gives a nervous laugh. “Perhaps.”
Another slightly more awkward pause.
Jongdae's nose goes a little higher into the air. “But the thing is, I personally believe that prior experience isn’t necessary for a lot of things. But at the same time, I guess it's necessary for others."
"Like farming," Sehun says, still judging.
Jongdae continues in his monologue; he is now standing and making wide gestures with his arms as he speaks. "Like remember, Baekhyun, that beautiful time Chanyeol brought you to try out for the mascot position? You had no experience whatsoever. You were stiffer than Kris was when he had to dance for the pep assembly!"
"We are not talking about that-"
"Wow, Jongdae hyung. Please do go on," Sehun encouraged him, eyes bright with mischief.
"I have to give you same credit for your, mmm, overwhelming 'enthusiasm'... though it did look like you wanted to strangle Chanyeol’s neck afterwards.” Jongdae howls. “I still think about that when I’m sad.”
“Damn. I would have paid good money to have seen that.” Sehun looks crestfallen.
“Come over sometime. Luhan recorded it for me.”
Sehun’s eyes light up. "My favorite hyung."
“Delete that video or I will fucking come to your house and slit your throat," Baekhyun hisses, face scarlet.
Shockingly, it's Sehun who yanks them out of the dangerous topic and back to the one at hand. "But, Jongdae hyung, how do you expect to work on a farm with no experience at all?”
“I can learn,” Jongdae asserts. That seems to be a good enough answer for his colleague; Sehun starts to eagerly make plans to go over to Jongdae’s house to see this “sacred video". Baekhyun sighs and moodily orders a cup of Americano as the two of them excitedly trade phone numbers and compare free time.
It's only later, when Jongdae has gotten up to leave that Baekhyun is addressed again. “By the way," Jongdae begins. "It’s a shame that you aren’t dating Chanyeol anymore. I am so sorry for your loss.”
“It’s not like he died- wait, hold the fuck up. How did you know?” Baekhyun stands up. A bad feeling is creeping on to him. A bad feeling that almost always goes hand in hand with-
“But he died in," Jongdae dramatically places his hand to his chest. "Your heart. And Luhan told me. Actually, he told a bunch of us. The whole town probably knows by now.”
“That little bitch,” Baekhyun spits out. His face is turning a scary shade of red, and Jongdae vaguely wonders if he should call for an ambulance.
“Hyung. Sit down.” Sehun tugs at Baekhyun's sleeve. The latter stumbles backwards into his seat and rubs his temples. "Jongdae hyung, you should probably go. Baekhyun hyung's being a bit on the hormonal side of things right now.”
Baekhyun flings himself into Sehun's lap, yanking at his hair and screaming "I am not hormonal!"
Jongdae leaves quickly before he becomes the next victim.
÷
Thirty minutes later, Baekhyun is pacing around the table, and Sehun is playing Candy Crush on his phone. “Sehun, it's been, like, three hours since Jongdae left. Are you sure you said the right time in the email?”
“Yes, hyung,” Sehun groans.
“Are you sure you told them the right day?”
Another “yes, hyung” from the distracted Sehun.
“Are you sure you sent the email?”
Sehun slams a fist onto the table (he just ran out of moves but still had twelve Jellys to clear). “Yes, hyung. I did everything you told me to. You were the one who cut the last interview really short-”
"Me? Say that one more time, you fucking-”
The door suddenly opens, and a man walks in. A dazzling smile slips onto Baekhyun's pretty face. "Welcome. Please, take a seat!"
“Don't mind if I do.” The man grins and sets his briefcase onto the table. He sits next to Sehun, who makes a face and scoots away.
The Miss Korea grin still on his face, Baekhyun crosses his legs and shakes the man's hand. “Hello. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Baekhyun, this is my co-worker, Sehun... and you are?”
“My name is Yixing." He flashes an equally stunning eye smile. "Nice to meet you.”
“Same goes for you. Well, I guess we’ll begin.” Baekhyun fixes his bangs and adjusts his laptop. “Have you had any prior experience in this area?”
“No... but I know the pain you are going through. I know how it feels.” Yixing leans forward to place a hand over Baekhyun's. Oblivious to Baekhyun's "what the fuck" face, he gives it a comforting squeeze.
“What,” Sehun deadpans.
“I know it's hard. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to. Break ups can be rough, and I'm here to help you get through this,” Yixing explains in a soothing voice.
“Oh my god.” Baekhyun nearly falls out of his chair.
Sehun begins to laugh hysterically, but is cut off when Yixing shoots him a stern face. “This is not a laughing matter.” Sehun manages a straight face until the man turns back to Baekhyun; then, he explodes in silent cackles. Baekhyun mentally flips him off. “Don’t worry. From now on, I am here for you.” Yixing gives him a smile that could make angels jealous.
Baekhyun is unaffected. “Can I just ask who told you I was here?”
“Jongdae texted me saying that you needed my professional assistance. You see, I'm a psychiatrist."
Behind them, Sehun spits out his water and almost cries at Baekhyun's distress.
Yixing leans even closer. "Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your loss. Acceptance is the first step in the road to recovery.”
Baekhyun slams his hands on the table. “PARK CHANYEOL DIDN’T FUCKING DIE. WE JUST WENT OUR SEPARATE FUCKING WAYS, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH.”
Yixing claps his hands with joy. “There! Just like that! Let out all of your emotions. No one here is judging you.” Sehun opens his mouth to object only to be silenced by Yixing’s hand. "Come on, Baekhyun! Let it all out!"
“What more do you want me to ‘let out’? He’s not dead. I’m still alive. Things just... didn’t work out. That’s really it.” Baekhyun lets out a sigh and tousles his bangs.
“Nothing more you want to say?” Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Because I can think of a lot of other things you could say-”
“Shut your mouth, or you’re going to run all of tomorrow’s interviews. By yourself,” Baekhyun growls.
Normally, Sehun would fire something all-too-sassy right back, but something far more interesting has caught his attention. In the midst of Baekhyun’s vicious threats, Sehun notices that Yixing had been struggling to make a call. He leans over Yixing’s shoulder to read the caller ID; instantly, his eyes go wide.
“Baekhyun, you don’t have to worry about anything. As your psychiatrist and friend,” Yixing shoots a sweet smile at Baekhyun, who looks like he wants to rip his own head off. “I am going to help you.” Yixing sets his Galaxy S4 onto the table and presses the speaker button. “There is someone I want you to speak with on the other line. Can you introduce yourself for me?”
Baekhyun stares at Yixing and wonders whether this psychiatrist guy is being serious or if he should call the mental hospital for this guy; however, the curiosity to know who is on the other end wins over, and he tentatively tilts his head closer to the phone. “Ummm… Hey. I’m Byun Baekhyun.”
“Hey,” Baekhyun makes a dying noise; this time he actually does fall out of his chair. He doesn’t even need this person to finish his introduction to know who it is; this is a voice that he has heard singing in the shower, complaining after a particularly difficult test, and yelling on the basketball court. This is a voice that Baekhyun has heard laughing and crying and whispering “I love you more”s into his ear. “I’m Park Chanyeol.”
At this point, even Sehun is shooting sympathetic looks at Baekhyun.
Yixing, on the other hand, seems absolutely delighted at the ‘progress’ that they’re making. “Now that that’s out of the way, we can start! Problems are solved by communication. We need to communicate with each other.”
“Stab him,” Baekhyun mouths to Sehun.
“We are now going to communicate. Tell each other our feelings. They can be of anger or happiness or anything you can think of, but we’re not going to hold grudges because grudges are bad.”
“And you think this is going to work?” Baekhyun scoffs. He can hear Chanyeol’s breathy chuckles over the line, and this eggs on his bad attitude even more. “I think Yeol -I mean Chanyeol- already has a clear idea of how I feel about him.”
“I have a PhD in Psychology....” Yixing shrinks into his chair, his bottom lip jutting out.
There is a sharp intake of breath from Baekhyun; Sehun looks like he’s in extreme pain.
The fucking cute.
Baekhyun drops his head to the table and groans. “It sounds like a great idea,” He says through clenched teeth. Sehun shifts closer to his hyung in an awkward attempt at comfort.
Yixing perks up again. “I really think it’s going to help,” He exclaims sincerely, rocking back and forth in his chair. Sehun has to shield his eyes from the blinding innocence. “We should probably start by hearing the backstory of this. Who broke up with who, why, when, where, how. We’re going to lay out all the facts. Let’s go!”
There’s a bit of a pause, where no one is sure who should start. It ends when Chanyeol coughs and suggests in a murmur that Baekhyun goes first.
His voice sends a jolt through Baekhyun’s body; he shivers and starts. “Well, Chanyeol and I started dating in junior year of high school. We dated almost straight through high school and college.”
“We broke up a couple of times, but we’ve never been apart for any longer two weeks,” Chanyeol adds over the line.
Again, the impact of his voice has Baekhyun digging his fingernails into his palms. “Ummm, yeah, what he said.”
Chanyeol picks it up from there. “So about a month ago, my dad started to take an interest in Baekhyun’s farm. He’s the Chief of Land Management at Park Homes Design. Since then, he’s been trying to make a deal with Baek to buy the land so the company can build new apartments.”
“A deal that I would rather burn in hell than agree to.”
There’s an audible sigh from the other end, but Chanyeol continues without commenting. “And one day we were at home, and Baekhyun was talking to me - he was a bit upset - about my dad’s very, ummm, persistent negotiations... and-”
“And that dick had the fucking guts to ask,” Baekhyun forces his voice down a couple of octaves. “‘Baek, why don’t you just give over the land? I have enough money for two. Just give up the land, Baek’.”
Chanyeol laughs at Baekhyun’s poor impression of him, but manages to soothingly reply, “Oh come on, Hyunnie, you know I just wanted to help-”
The air in the room seems to disappear.
“What did you call me?”
“Hyunnie, just like always-” Baekhyun’s legs give out.
“Don’t you dare call me that again. I’m not your “Hyunnie” anymore.” Baekhyun snaps. Chanyeol takes a breath, as if he is about to speak, but Baekhyun seizes the phone and jabs at the ‘End Call’ button.
After making sure that Chanyeol is really not there anymore, Baekhyun buries his head in his arms and wills himself not to cry.
Yixing and Sehun watch Baekhyun in uncomfort.
“Hyung, you should sit down and we can ask Yixing to come some other time.” Sehun points to the door with his chin. Yixing grabs his phone and briefcase and solemnly leaves the room. Baekhyun feels a migraine coming. “Don’t worry, hyung. I brought your Advil.”
÷
The so-called "Advil" that Sehun brought turns out to actually be NyQuil; even by the time the restaurant is close to closing, Baekhyun is still snoring on the bread basket. While he waited for the next appointment to arrive, Sehun advanced four levels on Candy Crush, Skyped his friend living in New Zealand, and bought two pairs of shoes from Louis Vuitton's new catalog.
“Sorry! I got off work and the traffic was bad because the road was slippery." The man apologizes, wringing his hands and bowing awkwardly to him. He stops midway in the path to his seat to stare at Baekhyun. “Should I be concerned?”
"No, this is completely normal. Don’t you worry your sexy little head about it,” Sehun drawls. He pulls the closest chair even closer to him and then motions for the man to come sit down. “Why was the road slippery?"
"Some truck holding liquid soap spilled over. In a way, it was kinda nice; my tires are now really clean.” The man holds out his hand; he seems to completely regret doing that when Sehun intertwines their fingers and refuses to let go. “M-my name is Junmyeon.”
"Mr. Class President. You haven't changed," Sehun remarks. His expression is stoic, but mischief flickers in his eyes. “Still as sexy as ever.”
Junmyeon opens his mouth, then closes it. Sehun lets his eyes trace slowly up and down Junmyeon’s figure. He licks his lips.
The waitress comes in, holding a menu out to Junmyeon. “Would you like to start with a bit of wine, sir?”
"Just coffee, thank you,” Junmyeon says, grateful for normal conversation.
Sehun looks at Junmyeon with hooded sex eyes. “Do you want me to grind that for you?”
"Umm, no thank you,” Junmyeon replies weakly. He opens the menu onto the table and reads over it while taking off his jacket.
"Hot," Sehun comments bluntly, eyes glued to the little space of chest that Junmyeon's v-neck shirt displays rather nicely.
“Ummm. Shouldn’t we begin the interview?” Junmyeon asks rather quietly. The level of uncomfort he feels is rising.
False shock spreads over Sehun’s face. “You have to order first,” He says incredulously, shoving the menu closer to the man who he has still not let go of.
Junmyeon orders the first thing he sees: “I’ll have the Shrimp Primavera.”
“Fettuccini Alfredo, for me” Sehun recites, handing the menu back to the waitress. “And my friend here,” he jabs his free thumb at a drooling Baekhyun. “Will have the Seafood Linguine.”
“Thank you,” Junmyeon says to the waitress.
His eyes, on the other hand, say “help”.
“Since Baek hyung would probably have a seizure if I didn’t do this for him,” Sehun runs his finger down the list of interview questions. “Any prior experience?”
“Yeah. My grandparents used to own a farm, so I know the ropes.” Junmyeon explains.
“Great. That should do it!” Sehun glances over the rest of the questions quickly. “Yeah, that’s basically everything.”
“Are you sure?”
“The phrase ‘I know the ropes’ itself will probably get you the job,” Sehun says bluntly. “But if you’re really that worried, I’ll put in a special request for you.”
Junmyeon looks like Sehun just shoved him off of a plane. “Thanks, but you don’t need to. It wouldn’t be fair for the others.” He insists.
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Sehun chuckles. “Life’s treating you well?”
“Ehhh. My boss is a douchebag who’s laying off workers like nobody’s business. I’m next on the chopping block,” Junmyeon says glumly.
“You’re not the only one who’s been having trouble with their boss.”
“Baekhyun?”
“It’s been a rough couple of weeks.”
Junmyeon shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “I heard something from Minseok. Something about Baekhyun having broken up with Chanyeol.”
Sehun chews on his bottom lip. “They had a little argument. I mean, they’ve had their rough moments before, but I think this is the first time Baekhyun hyung moved out of their apartment.”
“Oh. Well. That’s not very good,” Junmyeon is lost for words.
“And then, with the other farm hand quitting, we’ve been scrambling to keep the place running. It’s been tough.”
The waitress comes in balancing three dishes on tray, hastily serves the food, gives the unconscious man on the bread basket a concerned look, and then leaves promptly.
“Are you sure he’s alright? Should I call 911 or something?” Junmyeon offers.
“He’ll be up soon. We’re good. Besides, it’s quiet.”
Junmyeon shoots Sehun a disbelieving look.
Sehun sighs; finally letting go of Junmyeon’s hand, he places his elbows on the table and fists his hair roughly. “He doesn’t sleep well at night. I don’t know what to do.”
“He’s sleeping now.”
Sehun shoots an exasperated glare at Junmyeon. “I gave him NyQuil, okay? In fact, I’ve been putting NyQuil in his drinks for the past week. It’s the only way he sleeps.”
Junmyeon makes a startled noise. “That can’t be healthy.”
The younger just yanks at his hair even tighter. “I held back when it was just the crying. But then he started to drink, and- and I had to do something. I don’t know.”
Junmyeon falls quiet.
Enough time passes that Sehun knows Junmyeon isn’t going to say anything, so he finally grabs a hold of himself and picks up his fork. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” Junmyeon answers a little too quickly.
Baekhyun turns to his other side and mumbles incoherently to himself. Sehun glances up briefly from his food to find Junmyeon staring back. They exchange looks.
Sehun trails a hand up Junmyeon’s inner thigh.
Junmyeon stumbles out of his chair in a hurry to get away.
÷
By the next morning, the wasps and exterminators are nowhere to be seen. With the final round of interviews today, Sehun just wants to be done.
“I don’t see what’s wrong with just canceling the interviews for today. I mean we already have six quality candidates for the job.” Sehun whines. He plops himself down on the couch and turns on the TV.
“Not happening,” Baekhyun returns without looking up from the magazine he’s reading. Sehun makes a high-pitched whining noise, but the only response he gets is a snort.
Sehun cuddles up to Baekhyun and they read the fashion catalogue for a little while more, until there is a loud three raps on their front door.
Sehun twists onto his back. “You get it.” However, Baekhyun is already headed for the door; Sehun watches with a satisfied smirk. “Man, I’ve trained you well.”
“Hello! Are you here for the-” He stops in his greeting to glance up and down at the newcomer, his mouth snapping shut. “Didn’t you already come for the interview.”
“Hey, Zitao!” Sehun hollers from the living room, still lying contently on the couch.
Tao gives Baekhyun a condescending look and brushes easily past him. “What are you talking about? ‘Didn’t you already come’? ‘Tao’? Why would Taozi be here?” It’s obvious that he’s is expending a lot of effort to shove his teenage girl voice into a low baritone. “Nice to meet you. My name is Yifan .”
“What,” Sehun says flatly, shooting him a ‘what the serious fuck’ look.
“Are you drunk?” Baekhyun asks bluntly. “Because if you are-”
“Getting drunk is for people without class,” Tao sniffs, his voice returning momentarily to its normal high pitch. “I’m here for the interview! But I’m here as... Yifan Ge.”
“That makes absolutely zero sense,” Sehun rolls his eyes, but the interest in his eyes is already dying; he returns back to the magazine.
“He’s sick,” Tao offers, shrugging his shoulder. Baekhyun lets out an exasperated groan, squeezing the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He always gets the weirdos.
“Umm. Okay. So T-Yifan, why do you want to work here?” Baekhyun questions, motioning Tao over to sit at the dining table. After a second of intense staring, Sehun comes over, reluctance etched into every line of his body.
“I think it would be a good experience. And I heard that wonderful man Tao is interested in working here as well. He and I could work together. We are the perfect duo, I swear on my eyebrows.” Tao puffs out his chest a little.
There’s a very, very awkward pause.
“Okay. Tell Yifan that he’s free to make a new appointment with me,” Baekhyun deadpans, pointing at the door.
“But he’s really sick!” Tao protests quickly, turning a suspicious shade of pink.
“Bye.”
“But-”
“Bye.”
÷
After Tao is all but shoved out of the house, Baekhyun ruffles the back of his hair and glances up at the clock wearily. “The next person’s supposed to come two hours later.”
“Sure.”
“I think I’m going to take a shower.”
“S’not important to me.”
Baekhyun kicks the back of Sehun’s chair and marches upstairs with the low, muttered threat, “I’m going to hire two people and fire you.”
Sehun still ignores him, moving to the pantry to look for an early lunch.
It’s only later, when Baekhyun is in the shower, rubbing shampoo deep into his roots and singing quietly to himself when he hears the sound of a door opening and closing; Sehun must be have wandered into the master bedroom, looking for attention. He continues to massage his scalp, calling loudly, “Sehun, did you save me some lunch?”
There’s no response, and Baekhyun snorts. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
He relapses into his singing, now lathering his body with bar soap. He turns his face towards the shower knob, letting the stream wash away the suds. It feels so good, the beating of water against his face and the stroking of the hands at his hips-
What.
He whirls around and screams at the sight of another man in the shower, tripping backwards and almost slamming his head into the tub. “What the actual fuck -”
“Smooth or rough?” The man says, a very attractive smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
“GET OUT. JUST - JESUS CHRIST - GET OUT.”
÷
A few minutes later, Sehun, the sexually-harassing, tub-entering man (who apparently goes by the name Jongin), and Baekhyun are in the kitchen, preparing lunch together. Baekhyun shies away whenever Jongin attempts to come closer and help: especially because his version of “helping” involves invading Baekhyun’s personal space and giving him the most I-want-to-fuck-the-shit-out-of-you look that he’s ever seen.
When Baekhyun shoves him away with a curse for the nth time, Jongin turns to Sehun with a worried expression and asks, “Am I still getting paid?”
There’s an awkward pause as the term “phrase” sinks in. Baekhyun whirls around, flames burning in his eyes, and explodes, “Sehun, I can’t believe you actually paid this dumbass to try and get me into bed-”
“Hey, strippergrams are expensive these days,” Sehun says defensively. “Besides, you looked like you needed to loosen up a bit. You should be thanking me.”
“Are we eating macaroni and cheese?” Jongin squeals, dropping the smolder for a bright-eyed adorableness. He bounces over to the stove and rests his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Did you know that if you take the noodles out of the water and fan them while they boil, they taste better?”
“I-I didn’t know that,” Baekhyun stammers, completely caught off-guard at this 180 degree change in personality. He’s used to it showing up once in a while with Sehun, particularly around Christmas and his birthday (when he wants Baekhyun’s money), but on Jongin it’s still a bit off-putting. It’s a bit too natural on someone who just tried to steer him into the bedroom.
“Jongin, you’re a nerd,” Sehun cackles unkindly, shoving his friend.
“Kyungsoo hyung likes to cook,” Jongin shrugs; his ears turn a bit red when he says the first word.
“Who’s Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asks seriously; there’s something about the name that’s very familiar to him.
Jongin answers with a quick “my roommate” at the same time that Sehun smugly states, “The love of his life.”
Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows. “Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo.” His face brightens. “Oh, the one I met at that, ummm, social gathering,” Baekhyun smiles. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“Jongin adores him.” Sehun glares. “Gave him Ferrero Rochers and a nice dinner at the fancy French restaurant for his birthday.” He lets out a disgruntled huff, crossing his arms with a bitter expression. “I got socks.”
“B-But,” Jongin stammers, looking wildly around for a way out. “I owed him. For, you know. Always cooking for me and stuff. It was the least I could do.”
“I knew you since you were in diapers, Jongin. That’s when you were, like, five.”
“Hardy har har.”
The three of them go back to cooking- or Baekhyun cooks, at least, while the other two pick up wooden spoons and try to hit each other on the head. Sehun manages to seize Jongin’s spoon, throw it back to the living room, and beat him relentlessly as he screams for Baekhyun to save him.
Baekhyun hums under his breath in order to pretend he didn’t hear.
When Jongin finally escapes, he hops over to the stove and brushes up to Baekhyun’s side. “Hyung-ah,” He whines. “Tell me a story.” Jongin bats his eyes.
“What are you? Three?” Baekhyun snaps, trying to keep Jongin from draping himself over his body.
“Tell him your wild party ones,” Sehun interjects.
“My wild-” Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “I was a good kid. Nothing happened. Moving on.”
“I don’t think so…” Sehun sings, moving to hang himself on the other side of his exasperated hyung.
“I want to hear!” Jongin says; Baekhyun watches, torn between amusement and anguish as the two younger ones prance over to the kitchen island to gossip. Though the first time they met definitely did not go well, Jongin reminds Baekhyun of an excitable young puppy: eager to experience everything from chasing his tail to eating the cat food.
“So,” Sehun begins in a dramatic fashion, glancing over at Baekhyun with taunting eyes. “I heard from Jongdae hyung that apparently one time, he, Luhan hyung, Baekhyun hyung and, umm,” Sehun drops his voice. “Chanyeol hyung all went to a New Year’s party at Kyungsoo hyung’s apartment. And… let’s just say shit went down.”
“And where was I?” Jongin demands.
“Not invited, I guess. I don’t know.” Sehun glances over at Baekhyun who is stirring the noodles with newfound murderous vigor. “They were playing Truth or Dare at the party, and Luhan dared for Baekhyun to strip and pole dance around Chanyeol.”
“‘Strip and pole dance... like me?” Jongin’s eyes go wide. Sehun nods his head furiously. He looks slightly disgusted, which Baekhyun notes with irony. “And all this happened at Kyungsoo hyung’s place?”
Baekhyun walks over, gracefully grabs Sehun’s ear, and yanks him out of the chair. “Dumbass. First, it was Jongdae that dared me at that party. Second, I am going to make sure you and that bastard stop talking to each other because he’s already rubbing off on you. And three, I made sure that every fucking video of that has been deleted. If Jongdae still has one, I swear over my dead body that I will give him absolutely no mercy. So you can go tell that to your precious hyung.” Baekhyun stops to catch his breath and turns to Jongin, narrowing his eyes. “And you. Get out.”
“What about the mac and cheese?” Jongin whines. He drops to the floor and grabs hold of Baekhyun’s right leg.
Baekhyun begins to drag the two of them to the front door. “You don’t get any.”
“But why?” Jongin pouts.
“Well, you weren’t invited for lunch in the first place. Getting recruited by Sehun as a strippergram does not count.” They are now halfway there. “Shit, Jongin, stop pulling my pants down-”
“Do I still get paid?” Jongin looks up hopefully.
“Not my business.” Baekhyun manages to finally free his right leg from Jongin’s hold, who is now frantically clawing for another one of Baekhyun’s limbs. Baekhyun returns to the front door. “Ciao.”
The door is slammed shut.
“BUT I WANTED TO WORK AT THE FARM,” They hear Jongin yell from outside.
To everyone’s immense surprise, Baekhyun opens the door again.
“One more thing. If you want to keep your brain, I’d stop hanging out with Sehun. I don’t need another shithead around the farm.” Baekhyun winks and then once again slams the door shut.
÷
After lunch (without Jongin) and dessert (also without Jongin), Baekhyun washes the dishes and Sehun dries next to him. It’s a comfortable silence, the type that can really only be shared between true friends, and neither of them are in any hurry to break it.
The spell is broken when Baekhyun hands Sehun the last plate and leans wearily against the sink counter. “Just one more interview,” He reminds Sehun, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “One more, then we pick one or two helpers, and we can forget this mess ever happened.”
Sehun shrugs offhandedly, setting the plate inside the cabinet carefully. “I don’t know hyung... I kind of liked it.”
“You liked it?!” Baekhyun yelps, his eyes widening significantly. He lunged forward to grip Sehun’s shoulders in his petite hands, shaking the younger’s body a little. “Sehun, what’s wrong with you today? First the strippergram, now this-”
“Hey, I can like things if I want to,” Sehun says defensively. He pushes Baekhyun’s hands off, looking more than a little disgruntled.
“Do you know how much we have suffered?” Baekhyun rants, now hysterically pacing the floor back and forth. “Don’t you remember how frustrating this whole thing was? That time with that role-stealing ass Luhan, or that weirdo Yixing who just randomly showed up, or-” He throws his hands in the air. “I don’t even know. This whole week was just so dumb.”
“But hyung,” Sehun objects, his voice and features soft. “This week was the first week after your break-up that you started acting like yourself.”
Baekhyun opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.
Luckily, he’s saved by the knocking noise on his door. Sehun wordlessly goes to get it, and Baekhyun takes this chance to catch his breath and compose himself.
The small man who is led in is one of the only people that Baekhyun actually recognizes immediately; he smiles widely, his standard eye smile slipping back on to his face, and reaches out a hand. “Hey, Kyungsoo! How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you,” Kyungsoo replies politely; he looks uncomfortable standing where he is, so Baekhyun snatches up his laptop and leads them all to sit around the coffee table. Sehun fiddles with the ragged carpet while Baekhyun waits for his laptop to start.
“So, Kyungsoo, have you worked at a farm before-”
“No, but I’d love to. Umm. Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo interrupts him, ducking his head down to stare at his hands. “I came for another reason. I’m sorry that I’m taking up your time right now, but I really needed to talk to you.”
Baekhyun looks him from head-to-toe with a wary eye. Kyungsoo fidgets under his gaze, but manages to hold his ground. “Please don’t tell me this is because of Chanyeol,” Baekhyun finally says, his voice as emotionless as his words. “Because Soo, I know you’re close with him, but I don’t really want to talk about that sort of stuff.”
“But it’s really important!” Kyungsoo protests, looking back up to stare pleadingly at Baekhyun; the latter is taken back by the intensity of his expression. “You have to listen. Oh, come on, Baek,” He begs when Baekhyun rises to leave. “Don’t keep on running away from the problem. I’m telling you, you have to listen!”
“He has a point, hyung.” Sehun takes this opportunity to cut into the conversation; his hand darts out to catch Baekhyun’s wrist. “You should listen to Chanyeol’s side of this.”
Baekhyun looks at Sehun, uncertainty brimming in every line of his body. Sehun gives him a reassuring nod and motions for him to sit back down.
He does so, with less reluctance than before. Kyungsoo looks relieved; his confidence regained, he plunges forward ambitiously once more. “Chanyeol’s upset at himself, Baek,” Kyungsoo blurts out quickly. “He doesn’t say it, but I know him better than anyone. He’s upset that he didn’t stop his father from harassing you for the land; he’s upset that he didn’t listen to your requests and took you too lightly; he’s upset that he didn’t stop you from walking out of the apartment. I know that he’s being a stubborn dumbass, but you have to give him a chance.”
“Don’t spare him the bad parts, Kyungsoo hyung,” Sehun adds with a roll of his eyes. He looks straight at Baekhyun, an intimidatingly serious look spread over his face. “It was your fault too. You put blame where it didn’t belong: on your boyfriend, who has no more to do with what land his father’s company buys than he has with your horrible taste in fashion. You’re the one who overreacted when he asked you if it was really that big of a deal. And since you did the actual breaking up, however rashly, why are you always moping around like you can’t do anything? Just fix your relationship. Stop trying to act indifferent and go back to him. We all know that’s going to happen eventually, anyway.”
“I was really hurt,” Baekhyun starts, trying to defend himself.
Kyungsoo gently comments, “We understand. But it’s nothing that’s impossible to remedy, right? You can fix your relationship with Chanyeol.”
Uneasiness drives Baekhyun as he shakes his head back and forth vigorously and stuffs his head in his arms.
He can hear the muffled noises of Sehun standing up next to him. Sehun dusts off his pants, completely irritated by Baekhyun’s unwillingness to cooperate. “Yeah, yeah, you were hurt by the breakup. But, so was Chanyeol hyung. It’s not all about you.”
÷
Morning brings a stiff Sehun downstairs to the kitchen where Baekhyun is already making breakfast. One look at Baekhyun makes it obvious that he had been up for a significant portion of the night; his eyes are puffy and rimmed with blotchy red. Baekhyun looks back at the sound of Sehun’s footsteps and catches his dongsaeng’s eye. “Good morning,” Baekhyun says quietly, managing a small grin.
“Good morning,” Sehun replies, still very brusque in his tone.
Baekhyun shifts his weight onto the other side of his body. “I- After you said that to me last night, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking....” He trails off, his cheeks dusted with a pretty light pink.
“And?”
“And...” Baekhyun sighs and begins chopping the red peppers. “I think that you’re right. I was being really selfish these past couple of weeks.”
“And?”
“And I’m sorry that I only thought about myself.”
Sehun stares at Baekhyun in stony silence. Baekhyun continues to nonchalantly prepare ingredients, now moving on to onions, when in reality he is everything but nonchalant.
Then, the younger breaks out into a huge smile. He rushes forward and hugs Baekhyun, causing him to drop the knife with a loud clatter and let out a high-pitched squeak. “It’s okay, hyung,” Sehun breathes, laughing happily and still clinging to him. “I love you a lot.”
“I love you too, Sehun,” Baekhyun mumbles, feeling a familiar sting in his eyes.
Sehun grins mischievously. He tilts his head closer to Baekhyun and cackles, “Are those tears I see, hyung...?”
He is instantly shoved away. “Onions, actually,” Baekyun retorts, furiously rubbing at the corners of his eyes with his balled fist.
Sehun begins to fill the morning with chatter and gossip about the latest fashion trends in Southern California, and Baekhyun mindlessly nods along as he dices sausages. The noisiness of the kitchen doesn’t bother him at all; in fact, it’s comforting, giving him a feeling of normalcy. He is just pouring the mix of raw egg, red pepper, onions, mushrooms, and sausages into the frying pan when the doorbell rings. “Visitors this early?” He wonders out loud.
“I’ll check!” Sehun offers eagerly, already bounding over to the entrance door to see who these unexpected guests would be.
When Sehun returns, excitement has him practically bouncing off of the walls. “Hyung. We have another interviewee here.”
Baekhyun wipes his wet hands on his jeans, thoroughly confused. “But yesterday was the last day for interviews....”
Sehun scurries to the other side of the room, and Baekhyun turns to find the all-too-familiar face of Park Chanyeol staring right back at him. Immediately, Baekhyun turns right back around and pretends that he’s busy cooking again.
“Tell him to leave. Tell him I can’t see him. Tell him ‘goodbye’ because I don’t want to talk right now.”
“Nope, nope, and nope. Sorry, but this needs to get fixed right now, hyung. It’s urgent, you know that.”
After a bit too much effort, Sehun finally manages to seat the hesitant Baekhyun in front of Chanyeol. Sehun takes his seat in between the two.
“Alright. Well that psychiatrist Yixing said that the best thing to do is to voice our feelings. Ummm. Who wants to start?”
The two boys stare expectantly at Baekhyun.
He sighs and begins with a “How are you?”.
Chanyeol grimaces and stretches his arms over his head. “I’m definitely not fantastic. You?”
“I’m fine too, thank you.”
Sehun jabs an elbow into Baekhyun’s ribs.
Baekhyun sighs and presses forward. “Yeol... I’m sorry for overreacting. I knew that you weren’t responsible for any of those emails, but I still pressured you to change the situation. And I also broke up with you when you asked me to calm down. I’m really just... a huge mess.”
Sehun beams contently and subtly leaves the room.
Chanyeol’s eyes widen, and he reaches forward as if to take Baekhyun’s hands, but then pulls back as if he thought better of his actions. “No, baby, don’t talk like that.”
“But it really wasn’t your fault,” Baekhyun says again, a little louder this time. “I was being ridiculous, considering that those emails wouldn’t have done anything more than just irk me.”
“But, I still feel guilty though… I really missed you, and I’m so sorry that I was being inconsiderate to your feelings. I know the farm means a lot to you. I don’t know. I’m just really, really sorry, Hyunnie.” There’s a brief lapse in conversation, until Chanyeol corrects himself with a blush. “I mean Baekhyun. Sorry. I forgot you didn’t want me to call you that.”
“You know that I didn’t mean it when I said that…” Baekhyun quietly adds.
A dumbfounded look settles on Chanyeol.
“Hyunnie,” He murmured, bring a hand up to cup the side of Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun finds himself leaning into the warmth that is Park Chanyeol: something that he could never quite replace in his life.
Baekhyun’s eyelids flutter shut.
However, a good few awkward seconds pass before Baekhyun opens his eyes again and lets out an angry huff at the sight of Chanyeol, pressing his lips tightly together to avoid laughing. “Well, what are you waiting for? Kiss me, you dumbass,” Baekhyun demands before pressing his lips onto Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol chuckles against his lips before bringing a hand up to rest behind Baekhyun’s shoulders.
Sehun chooses that moment to walk in, covering his eyes with both hands and screaming in warning, “I’m coming in! I’m coming in! Young dongsaeng that you can’t corrupt coming in!”
Baekhyun wants more than anything to ignore the obnoxious little shithead, but Chanyeol pulls back, laughing and running a hand through his hair. At the sight of the older’s pout, though, he sneaks a hand underneath the table and intertwines his fingers with his boyfriend’s.
“Not at the table, you disgustingly in love couple,” Sehun mutters, still partially shielding his eyes from them.
÷
Two days later, nine men are called to the farmhouse at three in the afternoon. They each arrive in various states of confusion, some (Yixing) completely ignorant as to why they had been called, and some (Kyungsoo) fully aware of the situation at hand.
Sehun ends up greeting the interviewees inside of the living room- Baekhyun is a bit preoccupied sucking face with Chanyeol in the corner.
“Hello, all of you people who made me endure hours interviewing each one of you,” Sehun starts off graciously, sweeping into an extravagant bow. “Welcome to the Byun Farm new employee celebration. My wonderful co-worker Baekhyun, who was originally in charge of most of the hiring process, has had something very good happen to him very recently, and as a result, decided to hire all of you. He wanted to share the love.”
“‘All of us’?” Tao repeats earnestly, eyes bright.
“Every single flipping one of you guys,” Sehun assures him, the angelic smile on his face not befitting the sarcastic tone of his words.
“‘Something very good’” Jongdae chortles under his breath to Minseok, who is sitting right next to him. “Oh please tell me he finally got laid.”
“Can someone please explain what is going on,” Yifan deadpans in his corner of the room.
“I’m hired too?” Yixing asks, clearly very puzzled
“Why am I here?” Yifan asks one more time more insistently.
Luhan eyes Junmyeon up and down and licks his lips. “Please tell me you are single.”
“Luhan, you are fired,” Sehun says pleasantly from the front. “If you don’t learn how to keep your junk in your pants.”
“I never interviewed for this job,” Yifan reiterates.
“Jongin, when did you interview for this job?” Kyungsoo asks his roommate, obviously surprised and unaware that the latter had even been acquainted with Baekhyun.
“I-I’m not sure,” Jongin answers honestly, smiling sweetly at the hyung that he adores so much. “But I can’t wait for us to work together!”
“I just came back from a business trip yesterday,” Yifan persistently states. “I didn’t even know that this job existed.”
Tao smiles sweetly at Yifan. “Just let it happen, ge."
Sehun glances over at the corner couple, wondering if this might be a good time to talk to Baekhyun, but decides against it when he sees Chanyeol sneak a hand under his shirt. He rolls his eyes and focuses back on Luhan trying to flirt with Junmyeon.
Baekhyun owes him so much.
He better be getting something like three trenchcoats from Burberry after this fiasco.
A/N:
Well what happens after they boys get hired? I don’t know. Let your imaginations run wild :D Thank you for reading! Enjoy! Happy Baekfest ~ WHEEE
One
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: exobubz
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Word Count: 9,822
Summary: Old Baek'Donald had a farm e i e i o
Warnings: None
Rating: PG-13
One
It’s two o’clock in the afternoon, and Baekhyun’s already cranky as hell.
After calling Sehun’s name three times - who conveniently has the kitchen radio turned on to the highest possible volume and is stubbornly concentrated on a women’s clothing magazine - at varying distances, the closest being two feet away from said boy, Baekhyun slams his coffee mug on the dining table and throws himself into a chair, crossing his arms and pursing his lips.
Sehun looks up. He raises an eyebrow. “Damn, what’s got your panties all in a twist?”
“The latest worker quit. He just left. He didn’t even give me a heads up,” Baekhyun seethes.
“I wonder why.” Sehun deadpans, flipping to the next page. “Oh, look, J.Crew cardigans are on sale.”
Baekhyun jumps out of his seat and begins to pace around the island in the kitchen. “Alright, we’re going to need a new guy because this thing won’t function with just the two of us. And we’re going to need to find someone soon. Someone who is capable and can handle this farm life, someone who...” One glance at Sehun reveals that absolutely everything that Baekhyun has said has been ignored. “Hey! Did you hear that?”
“Of course,” Sehun points a finger into his magazine. “Buy this for me, and I’ll help.”
÷
The interviews begin the following week. Word of the new opening at Byun Farm has been spread by the local paper and Facebook. The previous Friday, work had come to an abrupt halt after Sehun ended up screaming at Baekhyun to stop asking him for the “five billionth fucking time about whether or not you should fucking put a fucking ad in the fucking town morning announcements because no one fucking cares”.
Baekhyun is in slacks and a salmon-colored button up. In the course of three minutes, he glances at his watch seven times before the first interviewee even comes up the front steps.
“Fuck. Where did the little shithead go,” He mutters under his breath. It’s nine in the morning and Sehun is nowhere to be found. Baekhyun rubs his eyes and looks up at the person before him.
“Hey, Baekhyun! How’s it going?” The man asks. Baekhyun starts as he realizes that he actually vaguely recognizes this ‘stranger’. A familiar face that he can’t put a name to.
“Ummm. I’m good, I guess.” Biggest understatement of the century. “How are you, uhh…”
“Kim Minseok! Remember me? I was in AP Bio with you.” A vivid memory of the AP Hell classroom and all of its wonderful horrors comes flooding back. “Can’t say it’s been much use so far, to be honest,” Minseok laughs.
“Oh, I remember now. With that old grump of a teacher.” Baekhyun has to bite his tongue to suppress the sheer desire to use a stronger word than ‘grump’. “But yeah... Long time no see!”
“No kidding. So, I saw the advertisement that you are offering a position…” Minseok trails off.
Baekhyun runs through all the standard questions - “Prior experience?” “Why are you interested in working here?” and even gives him a quick tour of the farm. It’s when they’re walking back to Minseok’s car, however, that an uncomfortable topic surfaces.
“I’ve been meaning to ask. How’s your boyfriend? Park Chanyeol, was it?” Minseok asks innocently.
Baekhyun laughs, an odd noise that sounds like the hybrid offspring between a parrot and a whale. “We broke up.”
Absolute chagrin fills Minseok’s face with color; his jaw drops to the ground, and he barely stammers out an awkward “I-I had no idea! I’m so sorry!”
“I’m not.” Baekhyun says flatly. He all but shoves Minseok into his car. “Have a good day.”
÷
Thirty minutes later, Baekhyun is still not okay.
However, his mind temporarily shoves everything else to the back when he catches sight of the little shithead strutting up the driveway, a cup of Starbucks in each hand.
“One for you,” Sehun hands Baekhyun a cup and takes a sip of his own. “What’s with the look, hyung?
“Well, while you drove your ass to Starbucks, I’ve been here trying to find some new people.“
Sehun looks at Baekhyun from head to toes. “Ehh. You’re still alive. You must have managed okay.”
“I am not okay!” Baekhyun squawked. Sehun actually pauses mid-sip at his outburst and waits curiously for his hyung to finish. “The last person was someone I knew from high school. Someone who-” He drops his voice to a whisper, forcing Sehun to lean closer. “Someone who mentioned He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
Sehun bursts out laughing. “Dear God.”
Baekhyun is about to shoot back a very colorful response when the next car pulls up to the farmhouse.
A man holding a Gucci bag steps out of the car. An obnoxious G is embellished on the front of his pants.
“Hello!” The man waves. Baekhyun starts to smile, but squints his eyes instead.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Tao.” The man gives a wide grin.
“Tao… hey, weren’t you the one who would always ask me for lunch money?" He raises his closed fist to the side of his face for added emphasis. "Bbuing bbuing?”
“I had more important things to spend my own money on.”
Baekhyun is unimpressed. “That?” He asks flatly, gesturing to the bag.
Tao chuckles. “Of course. It’s becoming quite a collection. I’m almost at twelve!” Baekhyun gives an exasperated sigh.
“Are you here for the interview position too?” Tao nods. Baekhyun runs through all the standard questions once again. He doesn't, however, ask the man if he would like to take a tour of the farm; something tells him the designer loafers won't do well in the barn manure.
As Tao gets ready to leave, he leans forward and captures Baekhyun in a hug, brushing his lips against his cheek. Behind them, Sehun gags.
Tao leans back and looks Baekhyun up and down. “I miss high school so much," He says, his voice dripping with overdone regret. Then, his whole expression changes to one of mischief. "Those good old days when Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol were sent to the principal's office every week for making out in the Biology lab during lunch break."
Tao scampers off before Baekhyun can throw him over the fence - finally, a life application for all that hapkido - and leaves behind a fuming Baekhyun and a howling Sehun.
“Baek, I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff," Sehun barely chokes out. He attempts to wink, but ends up blinking instead.
“That’s nothing.” Baekhyun mutters under his breath, a slight smirk grazing his lips. But it slips off when Sehun raises an eyebrow. “I mean, it’s nothing as in I don’t care anymore. I. Just. Don’t worry about it.” Baekhyun finishes lamely, praying to the heavens that Sehun will fall for that poor excuse.
By the way Sehun rolls his eyes and snorts, the chances of that are slim to none.
÷
Another car pulls up. The man gets out, begins to frantically look for his keys, realizes they are hooked on his finger, and walks up to the house like nothing ever happened.
“I saw that,” Sehun calls out. He receives a dirty look, but other than that he is mostly ignored.
“Look who it is. Baekhyun. The boy who was never good enough to get the lead of the musical.” The man crosses his arms.
“Burn,” Sehun whispers.
“And look who it is. Luhan. The boy who could never hold his note for half as long as I could.” Baekhyun glances over him. “Sorry, but I’m not going to interview you, Ms. Queen of Sass.”
“You’re still bitter that I got the lead for High School Musical, and you only got the part of the sidekick, Ron.”
“It was Ryan, thank you very much. And they only put you for the lead because you were a little more coordinated with the basketball. But you know, it all worked out because Ryan got to show off his vocal prowess anyway.” Baekhyun smirks.
“Yixing told me that Kris told him that Chanyeol told him that you cried the whole night after you find out you didn’t make callbacks.”
“Jongdae told me that Jongin told him that Kyungsoo told him that Yixing told him that you used to have the biggest crush on Chanyeol all during high school.” Baekhyun flips his hair, a flawlessly pretty smile gracing his face. “And look who ended up with him.”
Sehun balks. “But wait, hyung, you broke-”
“Chanyeol’s always been on the stupider side of things anyways.”
“He’s got impeccable taste in men though.”
Sehun once again tries to interrupt. “Baekhyun hyung, you broke up with-”
“His dick is bomb. I would know. ” Baekhyun makes a wild attempt to cut through Sehun’s offensive words.
“One day he’ll wise up and break up with you.”
Baekhyun nearly claws Luhan’s smug face. “Bitch, if anyone were to do the breaking up, it would be me, since I already-”
“Oh my god, Baek, don’t-”
“BROKE UP WITH HIM.”
Sehun moans in second-hand embarrassment while Luhan screams in delight and seizes Baekhyun’s hands. “Omigosh. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? This is juicy. Spill it.”
÷
Baekhyun and Sehun have been watching reruns of School 2013 and making small talk about the weather when Sehun makes a sudden offer to microwave popcorn for the two of them. Baekhyun narrows his eyes when Sehun all-too-eagerly bounces out of his seat and over to the kitchen. To test his suspicions, he innocently asks if Sehun would “be an angel and add butter afterwards”.
Just as he suspected, Sehun answers with a winning Nature Republic CF smile and a sweet “anything for hyung-ah”.
When he comes back with a bowl full of steaming golden popcorn and cuddles into Baekhyun’s side affectionately, he finally brings up the cause for this change in personality. “So, funny story hyung.”
“What.”
“Sehunnie found a beehive near the orchard.”
Baekhyun sighs and reaches over to get his phone. “Just leave them alone. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother-”
“And Sehunnie’s curiosity kinda got the better of him so Sehunnie kinda poked it with a stick to see what would happen. And the bees kinda started to come out and Sehunnie realized that -surprise!- the beehive was actually a wasphive and long story short, there are wasps all over the farm.” Sehun giggles. “I’m- so cute and curious.”
“Are you stupid? Or is your common sense so advanced that I fail to comprehend?” Baekhyun pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why couldn’t they just have stung you to death so I wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore?”
“Because you love me and you would die without me,” Sehun cooes, butting his head against Baekhyun’s shoulder. “And also because I run faster than Usain Bolt when there are wasps involved.”
Baekhyun dumps the popcorn bowl over Sehun’s head in response to that last statement.
÷
There is an urgent email sent out to the local paper: the location of the interviews for Byun Farm have been changed. The two of them finally agree on the nice Italian restaurant on Main Street (agree meaning Baekhyun typed “sushi restaurant” and Sehun screamed and they wrestled over the laptop until Sehun bit him, changed it to “Italian”, and then pressed ‘send’). The next morning, Baekhyun greets the exterminators through their screen door, and then he and Sehun make a run for their red truck. They arrive first and a pretty waitress with sleek black hair that waves down her back leads them to their private room.
“I want Fettucini Alfredo and peach gelato,” Sehun says before the waitress can even hand them menus.
“He will have a cup of tap water and some mints from the receptionist’s desk,” Baekhyun snaps. Sehun glares at him. The waitress seems unsure if Baekhyun is serious.
Before another petty fight can break out, however, their first interviewee is led in by another attractive waiter. Baekhyun stands quickly, bowing; Sehun follows suit only after a swift kick is aimed at his ankles.
“Hey! How you guys doing? I’m Jongdae.” The man chuckles. He gives an easygoing nod in their general vicinity and collapses into a chair, running a hand through his still wet hair.
“Aren’t you-” Sehun glances up and down.
"That rodent mascot thing for Sideview High School?" Baekhyun finishes, squinting at the lanky boy; he has a vague recollection of Chanyeol yanking the ridiculously large chipmunk (or whatever it had been) head off of a weedy high school-version of Jongdae and throwing a sweaty arm around him after they won Regionals for basketball.
“Selena the Squirrel,” Jongdae says, his smile too tight for sincerity.
“Can you still do those cartwheels and leg splits?” Sehun asks innocently.
“Maybe. I could try.” The man stands up and leans to the side to begin his cartwheel.
Baekhyun hears the crunch of joints.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing. Sit your ass down because there is no way in hell I’m taking you to the emergency room,” Baekhyun fumes.
Sehun bitterly mimics Baekhyun’s rant in a high-pitched tone, dropping his head to the table and looking utterly put out.
Jongdae laughs and goes back to his chair. “So, it’s Baekhyun, right? And Se...?”
“Sehun.” Baekhyun disguises his snort as a cough after his trained eye catches the annoyed twitch of Sehun’s lips. “Don’t forget next time.”
“Right. My bad,” Jongdae says, not looking the least bit sorry. “Anyway, I heard that you guys are looking for another farm worker or whatever. Not to seem full of it, but,” Jongdae puffs out his chest. “I think I’d be the perfect candidate.”
Sehun doesn’t even try to hide his judgemental stare.
Baekhyun clears out his throat. Professional facade back on. Opening his MacBook Air, he politely asks, “Have you had any prior experience?”
There is a slightly awkward pause. Jongdae gives a nervous laugh. “Perhaps.”
Another slightly more awkward pause.
Jongdae's nose goes a little higher into the air. “But the thing is, I personally believe that prior experience isn’t necessary for a lot of things. But at the same time, I guess it's necessary for others."
"Like farming," Sehun says, still judging.
Jongdae continues in his monologue; he is now standing and making wide gestures with his arms as he speaks. "Like remember, Baekhyun, that beautiful time Chanyeol brought you to try out for the mascot position? You had no experience whatsoever. You were stiffer than Kris was when he had to dance for the pep assembly!"
"We are not talking about that-"
"Wow, Jongdae hyung. Please do go on," Sehun encouraged him, eyes bright with mischief.
"I have to give you same credit for your, mmm, overwhelming 'enthusiasm'... though it did look like you wanted to strangle Chanyeol’s neck afterwards.” Jongdae howls. “I still think about that when I’m sad.”
“Damn. I would have paid good money to have seen that.” Sehun looks crestfallen.
“Come over sometime. Luhan recorded it for me.”
Sehun’s eyes light up. "My favorite hyung."
“Delete that video or I will fucking come to your house and slit your throat," Baekhyun hisses, face scarlet.
Shockingly, it's Sehun who yanks them out of the dangerous topic and back to the one at hand. "But, Jongdae hyung, how do you expect to work on a farm with no experience at all?”
“I can learn,” Jongdae asserts. That seems to be a good enough answer for his colleague; Sehun starts to eagerly make plans to go over to Jongdae’s house to see this “sacred video". Baekhyun sighs and moodily orders a cup of Americano as the two of them excitedly trade phone numbers and compare free time.
It's only later, when Jongdae has gotten up to leave that Baekhyun is addressed again. “By the way," Jongdae begins. "It’s a shame that you aren’t dating Chanyeol anymore. I am so sorry for your loss.”
“It’s not like he died- wait, hold the fuck up. How did you know?” Baekhyun stands up. A bad feeling is creeping on to him. A bad feeling that almost always goes hand in hand with-
“But he died in," Jongdae dramatically places his hand to his chest. "Your heart. And Luhan told me. Actually, he told a bunch of us. The whole town probably knows by now.”
“That little bitch,” Baekhyun spits out. His face is turning a scary shade of red, and Jongdae vaguely wonders if he should call for an ambulance.
“Hyung. Sit down.” Sehun tugs at Baekhyun's sleeve. The latter stumbles backwards into his seat and rubs his temples. "Jongdae hyung, you should probably go. Baekhyun hyung's being a bit on the hormonal side of things right now.”
Baekhyun flings himself into Sehun's lap, yanking at his hair and screaming "I am not hormonal!"
Jongdae leaves quickly before he becomes the next victim.
÷
Thirty minutes later, Baekhyun is pacing around the table, and Sehun is playing Candy Crush on his phone. “Sehun, it's been, like, three hours since Jongdae left. Are you sure you said the right time in the email?”
“Yes, hyung,” Sehun groans.
“Are you sure you told them the right day?”
Another “yes, hyung” from the distracted Sehun.
“Are you sure you sent the email?”
Sehun slams a fist onto the table (he just ran out of moves but still had twelve Jellys to clear). “Yes, hyung. I did everything you told me to. You were the one who cut the last interview really short-”
"Me? Say that one more time, you fucking-”
The door suddenly opens, and a man walks in. A dazzling smile slips onto Baekhyun's pretty face. "Welcome. Please, take a seat!"
“Don't mind if I do.” The man grins and sets his briefcase onto the table. He sits next to Sehun, who makes a face and scoots away.
The Miss Korea grin still on his face, Baekhyun crosses his legs and shakes the man's hand. “Hello. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Baekhyun, this is my co-worker, Sehun... and you are?”
“My name is Yixing." He flashes an equally stunning eye smile. "Nice to meet you.”
“Same goes for you. Well, I guess we’ll begin.” Baekhyun fixes his bangs and adjusts his laptop. “Have you had any prior experience in this area?”
“No... but I know the pain you are going through. I know how it feels.” Yixing leans forward to place a hand over Baekhyun's. Oblivious to Baekhyun's "what the fuck" face, he gives it a comforting squeeze.
“What,” Sehun deadpans.
“I know it's hard. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to. Break ups can be rough, and I'm here to help you get through this,” Yixing explains in a soothing voice.
“Oh my god.” Baekhyun nearly falls out of his chair.
Sehun begins to laugh hysterically, but is cut off when Yixing shoots him a stern face. “This is not a laughing matter.” Sehun manages a straight face until the man turns back to Baekhyun; then, he explodes in silent cackles. Baekhyun mentally flips him off. “Don’t worry. From now on, I am here for you.” Yixing gives him a smile that could make angels jealous.
Baekhyun is unaffected. “Can I just ask who told you I was here?”
“Jongdae texted me saying that you needed my professional assistance. You see, I'm a psychiatrist."
Behind them, Sehun spits out his water and almost cries at Baekhyun's distress.
Yixing leans even closer. "Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your loss. Acceptance is the first step in the road to recovery.”
Baekhyun slams his hands on the table. “PARK CHANYEOL DIDN’T FUCKING DIE. WE JUST WENT OUR SEPARATE FUCKING WAYS, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH.”
Yixing claps his hands with joy. “There! Just like that! Let out all of your emotions. No one here is judging you.” Sehun opens his mouth to object only to be silenced by Yixing’s hand. "Come on, Baekhyun! Let it all out!"
“What more do you want me to ‘let out’? He’s not dead. I’m still alive. Things just... didn’t work out. That’s really it.” Baekhyun lets out a sigh and tousles his bangs.
“Nothing more you want to say?” Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Because I can think of a lot of other things you could say-”
“Shut your mouth, or you’re going to run all of tomorrow’s interviews. By yourself,” Baekhyun growls.
Normally, Sehun would fire something all-too-sassy right back, but something far more interesting has caught his attention. In the midst of Baekhyun’s vicious threats, Sehun notices that Yixing had been struggling to make a call. He leans over Yixing’s shoulder to read the caller ID; instantly, his eyes go wide.
“Baekhyun, you don’t have to worry about anything. As your psychiatrist and friend,” Yixing shoots a sweet smile at Baekhyun, who looks like he wants to rip his own head off. “I am going to help you.” Yixing sets his Galaxy S4 onto the table and presses the speaker button. “There is someone I want you to speak with on the other line. Can you introduce yourself for me?”
Baekhyun stares at Yixing and wonders whether this psychiatrist guy is being serious or if he should call the mental hospital for this guy; however, the curiosity to know who is on the other end wins over, and he tentatively tilts his head closer to the phone. “Ummm… Hey. I’m Byun Baekhyun.”
“Hey,” Baekhyun makes a dying noise; this time he actually does fall out of his chair. He doesn’t even need this person to finish his introduction to know who it is; this is a voice that he has heard singing in the shower, complaining after a particularly difficult test, and yelling on the basketball court. This is a voice that Baekhyun has heard laughing and crying and whispering “I love you more”s into his ear. “I’m Park Chanyeol.”
At this point, even Sehun is shooting sympathetic looks at Baekhyun.
Yixing, on the other hand, seems absolutely delighted at the ‘progress’ that they’re making. “Now that that’s out of the way, we can start! Problems are solved by communication. We need to communicate with each other.”
“Stab him,” Baekhyun mouths to Sehun.
“We are now going to communicate. Tell each other our feelings. They can be of anger or happiness or anything you can think of, but we’re not going to hold grudges because grudges are bad.”
“And you think this is going to work?” Baekhyun scoffs. He can hear Chanyeol’s breathy chuckles over the line, and this eggs on his bad attitude even more. “I think Yeol -I mean Chanyeol- already has a clear idea of how I feel about him.”
“I have a PhD in Psychology....” Yixing shrinks into his chair, his bottom lip jutting out.
There is a sharp intake of breath from Baekhyun; Sehun looks like he’s in extreme pain.
The fucking cute.
Baekhyun drops his head to the table and groans. “It sounds like a great idea,” He says through clenched teeth. Sehun shifts closer to his hyung in an awkward attempt at comfort.
Yixing perks up again. “I really think it’s going to help,” He exclaims sincerely, rocking back and forth in his chair. Sehun has to shield his eyes from the blinding innocence. “We should probably start by hearing the backstory of this. Who broke up with who, why, when, where, how. We’re going to lay out all the facts. Let’s go!”
There’s a bit of a pause, where no one is sure who should start. It ends when Chanyeol coughs and suggests in a murmur that Baekhyun goes first.
His voice sends a jolt through Baekhyun’s body; he shivers and starts. “Well, Chanyeol and I started dating in junior year of high school. We dated almost straight through high school and college.”
“We broke up a couple of times, but we’ve never been apart for any longer two weeks,” Chanyeol adds over the line.
Again, the impact of his voice has Baekhyun digging his fingernails into his palms. “Ummm, yeah, what he said.”
Chanyeol picks it up from there. “So about a month ago, my dad started to take an interest in Baekhyun’s farm. He’s the Chief of Land Management at Park Homes Design. Since then, he’s been trying to make a deal with Baek to buy the land so the company can build new apartments.”
“A deal that I would rather burn in hell than agree to.”
There’s an audible sigh from the other end, but Chanyeol continues without commenting. “And one day we were at home, and Baekhyun was talking to me - he was a bit upset - about my dad’s very, ummm, persistent negotiations... and-”
“And that dick had the fucking guts to ask,” Baekhyun forces his voice down a couple of octaves. “‘Baek, why don’t you just give over the land? I have enough money for two. Just give up the land, Baek’.”
Chanyeol laughs at Baekhyun’s poor impression of him, but manages to soothingly reply, “Oh come on, Hyunnie, you know I just wanted to help-”
The air in the room seems to disappear.
“What did you call me?”
“Hyunnie, just like always-” Baekhyun’s legs give out.
“Don’t you dare call me that again. I’m not your “Hyunnie” anymore.” Baekhyun snaps. Chanyeol takes a breath, as if he is about to speak, but Baekhyun seizes the phone and jabs at the ‘End Call’ button.
After making sure that Chanyeol is really not there anymore, Baekhyun buries his head in his arms and wills himself not to cry.
Yixing and Sehun watch Baekhyun in uncomfort.
“Hyung, you should sit down and we can ask Yixing to come some other time.” Sehun points to the door with his chin. Yixing grabs his phone and briefcase and solemnly leaves the room. Baekhyun feels a migraine coming. “Don’t worry, hyung. I brought your Advil.”
÷
The so-called "Advil" that Sehun brought turns out to actually be NyQuil; even by the time the restaurant is close to closing, Baekhyun is still snoring on the bread basket. While he waited for the next appointment to arrive, Sehun advanced four levels on Candy Crush, Skyped his friend living in New Zealand, and bought two pairs of shoes from Louis Vuitton's new catalog.
“Sorry! I got off work and the traffic was bad because the road was slippery." The man apologizes, wringing his hands and bowing awkwardly to him. He stops midway in the path to his seat to stare at Baekhyun. “Should I be concerned?”
"No, this is completely normal. Don’t you worry your sexy little head about it,” Sehun drawls. He pulls the closest chair even closer to him and then motions for the man to come sit down. “Why was the road slippery?"
"Some truck holding liquid soap spilled over. In a way, it was kinda nice; my tires are now really clean.” The man holds out his hand; he seems to completely regret doing that when Sehun intertwines their fingers and refuses to let go. “M-my name is Junmyeon.”
"Mr. Class President. You haven't changed," Sehun remarks. His expression is stoic, but mischief flickers in his eyes. “Still as sexy as ever.”
Junmyeon opens his mouth, then closes it. Sehun lets his eyes trace slowly up and down Junmyeon’s figure. He licks his lips.
The waitress comes in, holding a menu out to Junmyeon. “Would you like to start with a bit of wine, sir?”
"Just coffee, thank you,” Junmyeon says, grateful for normal conversation.
Sehun looks at Junmyeon with hooded sex eyes. “Do you want me to grind that for you?”
"Umm, no thank you,” Junmyeon replies weakly. He opens the menu onto the table and reads over it while taking off his jacket.
"Hot," Sehun comments bluntly, eyes glued to the little space of chest that Junmyeon's v-neck shirt displays rather nicely.
“Ummm. Shouldn’t we begin the interview?” Junmyeon asks rather quietly. The level of uncomfort he feels is rising.
False shock spreads over Sehun’s face. “You have to order first,” He says incredulously, shoving the menu closer to the man who he has still not let go of.
Junmyeon orders the first thing he sees: “I’ll have the Shrimp Primavera.”
“Fettuccini Alfredo, for me” Sehun recites, handing the menu back to the waitress. “And my friend here,” he jabs his free thumb at a drooling Baekhyun. “Will have the Seafood Linguine.”
“Thank you,” Junmyeon says to the waitress.
His eyes, on the other hand, say “help”.
“Since Baek hyung would probably have a seizure if I didn’t do this for him,” Sehun runs his finger down the list of interview questions. “Any prior experience?”
“Yeah. My grandparents used to own a farm, so I know the ropes.” Junmyeon explains.
“Great. That should do it!” Sehun glances over the rest of the questions quickly. “Yeah, that’s basically everything.”
“Are you sure?”
“The phrase ‘I know the ropes’ itself will probably get you the job,” Sehun says bluntly. “But if you’re really that worried, I’ll put in a special request for you.”
Junmyeon looks like Sehun just shoved him off of a plane. “Thanks, but you don’t need to. It wouldn’t be fair for the others.” He insists.
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Sehun chuckles. “Life’s treating you well?”
“Ehhh. My boss is a douchebag who’s laying off workers like nobody’s business. I’m next on the chopping block,” Junmyeon says glumly.
“You’re not the only one who’s been having trouble with their boss.”
“Baekhyun?”
“It’s been a rough couple of weeks.”
Junmyeon shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “I heard something from Minseok. Something about Baekhyun having broken up with Chanyeol.”
Sehun chews on his bottom lip. “They had a little argument. I mean, they’ve had their rough moments before, but I think this is the first time Baekhyun hyung moved out of their apartment.”
“Oh. Well. That’s not very good,” Junmyeon is lost for words.
“And then, with the other farm hand quitting, we’ve been scrambling to keep the place running. It’s been tough.”
The waitress comes in balancing three dishes on tray, hastily serves the food, gives the unconscious man on the bread basket a concerned look, and then leaves promptly.
“Are you sure he’s alright? Should I call 911 or something?” Junmyeon offers.
“He’ll be up soon. We’re good. Besides, it’s quiet.”
Junmyeon shoots Sehun a disbelieving look.
Sehun sighs; finally letting go of Junmyeon’s hand, he places his elbows on the table and fists his hair roughly. “He doesn’t sleep well at night. I don’t know what to do.”
“He’s sleeping now.”
Sehun shoots an exasperated glare at Junmyeon. “I gave him NyQuil, okay? In fact, I’ve been putting NyQuil in his drinks for the past week. It’s the only way he sleeps.”
Junmyeon makes a startled noise. “That can’t be healthy.”
The younger just yanks at his hair even tighter. “I held back when it was just the crying. But then he started to drink, and- and I had to do something. I don’t know.”
Junmyeon falls quiet.
Enough time passes that Sehun knows Junmyeon isn’t going to say anything, so he finally grabs a hold of himself and picks up his fork. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” Junmyeon answers a little too quickly.
Baekhyun turns to his other side and mumbles incoherently to himself. Sehun glances up briefly from his food to find Junmyeon staring back. They exchange looks.
Sehun trails a hand up Junmyeon’s inner thigh.
Junmyeon stumbles out of his chair in a hurry to get away.
÷
By the next morning, the wasps and exterminators are nowhere to be seen. With the final round of interviews today, Sehun just wants to be done.
“I don’t see what’s wrong with just canceling the interviews for today. I mean we already have six quality candidates for the job.” Sehun whines. He plops himself down on the couch and turns on the TV.
“Not happening,” Baekhyun returns without looking up from the magazine he’s reading. Sehun makes a high-pitched whining noise, but the only response he gets is a snort.
Sehun cuddles up to Baekhyun and they read the fashion catalogue for a little while more, until there is a loud three raps on their front door.
Sehun twists onto his back. “You get it.” However, Baekhyun is already headed for the door; Sehun watches with a satisfied smirk. “Man, I’ve trained you well.”
“Hello! Are you here for the-” He stops in his greeting to glance up and down at the newcomer, his mouth snapping shut. “Didn’t you already come for the interview.”
“Hey, Zitao!” Sehun hollers from the living room, still lying contently on the couch.
Tao gives Baekhyun a condescending look and brushes easily past him. “What are you talking about? ‘Didn’t you already come’? ‘Tao’? Why would Taozi be here?” It’s obvious that he’s is expending a lot of effort to shove his teenage girl voice into a low baritone. “Nice to meet you. My name is Yifan .”
“What,” Sehun says flatly, shooting him a ‘what the serious fuck’ look.
“Are you drunk?” Baekhyun asks bluntly. “Because if you are-”
“Getting drunk is for people without class,” Tao sniffs, his voice returning momentarily to its normal high pitch. “I’m here for the interview! But I’m here as... Yifan Ge.”
“That makes absolutely zero sense,” Sehun rolls his eyes, but the interest in his eyes is already dying; he returns back to the magazine.
“He’s sick,” Tao offers, shrugging his shoulder. Baekhyun lets out an exasperated groan, squeezing the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He always gets the weirdos.
“Umm. Okay. So T-Yifan, why do you want to work here?” Baekhyun questions, motioning Tao over to sit at the dining table. After a second of intense staring, Sehun comes over, reluctance etched into every line of his body.
“I think it would be a good experience. And I heard that wonderful man Tao is interested in working here as well. He and I could work together. We are the perfect duo, I swear on my eyebrows.” Tao puffs out his chest a little.
There’s a very, very awkward pause.
“Okay. Tell Yifan that he’s free to make a new appointment with me,” Baekhyun deadpans, pointing at the door.
“But he’s really sick!” Tao protests quickly, turning a suspicious shade of pink.
“Bye.”
“But-”
“Bye.”
÷
After Tao is all but shoved out of the house, Baekhyun ruffles the back of his hair and glances up at the clock wearily. “The next person’s supposed to come two hours later.”
“Sure.”
“I think I’m going to take a shower.”
“S’not important to me.”
Baekhyun kicks the back of Sehun’s chair and marches upstairs with the low, muttered threat, “I’m going to hire two people and fire you.”
Sehun still ignores him, moving to the pantry to look for an early lunch.
It’s only later, when Baekhyun is in the shower, rubbing shampoo deep into his roots and singing quietly to himself when he hears the sound of a door opening and closing; Sehun must be have wandered into the master bedroom, looking for attention. He continues to massage his scalp, calling loudly, “Sehun, did you save me some lunch?”
There’s no response, and Baekhyun snorts. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
He relapses into his singing, now lathering his body with bar soap. He turns his face towards the shower knob, letting the stream wash away the suds. It feels so good, the beating of water against his face and the stroking of the hands at his hips-
What.
He whirls around and screams at the sight of another man in the shower, tripping backwards and almost slamming his head into the tub. “What the actual fuck -”
“Smooth or rough?” The man says, a very attractive smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
“GET OUT. JUST - JESUS CHRIST - GET OUT.”
÷
A few minutes later, Sehun, the sexually-harassing, tub-entering man (who apparently goes by the name Jongin), and Baekhyun are in the kitchen, preparing lunch together. Baekhyun shies away whenever Jongin attempts to come closer and help: especially because his version of “helping” involves invading Baekhyun’s personal space and giving him the most I-want-to-fuck-the-shit-out-of-you look that he’s ever seen.
When Baekhyun shoves him away with a curse for the nth time, Jongin turns to Sehun with a worried expression and asks, “Am I still getting paid?”
There’s an awkward pause as the term “phrase” sinks in. Baekhyun whirls around, flames burning in his eyes, and explodes, “Sehun, I can’t believe you actually paid this dumbass to try and get me into bed-”
“Hey, strippergrams are expensive these days,” Sehun says defensively. “Besides, you looked like you needed to loosen up a bit. You should be thanking me.”
“Are we eating macaroni and cheese?” Jongin squeals, dropping the smolder for a bright-eyed adorableness. He bounces over to the stove and rests his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Did you know that if you take the noodles out of the water and fan them while they boil, they taste better?”
“I-I didn’t know that,” Baekhyun stammers, completely caught off-guard at this 180 degree change in personality. He’s used to it showing up once in a while with Sehun, particularly around Christmas and his birthday (when he wants Baekhyun’s money), but on Jongin it’s still a bit off-putting. It’s a bit too natural on someone who just tried to steer him into the bedroom.
“Jongin, you’re a nerd,” Sehun cackles unkindly, shoving his friend.
“Kyungsoo hyung likes to cook,” Jongin shrugs; his ears turn a bit red when he says the first word.
“Who’s Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asks seriously; there’s something about the name that’s very familiar to him.
Jongin answers with a quick “my roommate” at the same time that Sehun smugly states, “The love of his life.”
Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows. “Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo.” His face brightens. “Oh, the one I met at that, ummm, social gathering,” Baekhyun smiles. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“Jongin adores him.” Sehun glares. “Gave him Ferrero Rochers and a nice dinner at the fancy French restaurant for his birthday.” He lets out a disgruntled huff, crossing his arms with a bitter expression. “I got socks.”
“B-But,” Jongin stammers, looking wildly around for a way out. “I owed him. For, you know. Always cooking for me and stuff. It was the least I could do.”
“I knew you since you were in diapers, Jongin. That’s when you were, like, five.”
“Hardy har har.”
The three of them go back to cooking- or Baekhyun cooks, at least, while the other two pick up wooden spoons and try to hit each other on the head. Sehun manages to seize Jongin’s spoon, throw it back to the living room, and beat him relentlessly as he screams for Baekhyun to save him.
Baekhyun hums under his breath in order to pretend he didn’t hear.
When Jongin finally escapes, he hops over to the stove and brushes up to Baekhyun’s side. “Hyung-ah,” He whines. “Tell me a story.” Jongin bats his eyes.
“What are you? Three?” Baekhyun snaps, trying to keep Jongin from draping himself over his body.
“Tell him your wild party ones,” Sehun interjects.
“My wild-” Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “I was a good kid. Nothing happened. Moving on.”
“I don’t think so…” Sehun sings, moving to hang himself on the other side of his exasperated hyung.
“I want to hear!” Jongin says; Baekhyun watches, torn between amusement and anguish as the two younger ones prance over to the kitchen island to gossip. Though the first time they met definitely did not go well, Jongin reminds Baekhyun of an excitable young puppy: eager to experience everything from chasing his tail to eating the cat food.
“So,” Sehun begins in a dramatic fashion, glancing over at Baekhyun with taunting eyes. “I heard from Jongdae hyung that apparently one time, he, Luhan hyung, Baekhyun hyung and, umm,” Sehun drops his voice. “Chanyeol hyung all went to a New Year’s party at Kyungsoo hyung’s apartment. And… let’s just say shit went down.”
“And where was I?” Jongin demands.
“Not invited, I guess. I don’t know.” Sehun glances over at Baekhyun who is stirring the noodles with newfound murderous vigor. “They were playing Truth or Dare at the party, and Luhan dared for Baekhyun to strip and pole dance around Chanyeol.”
“‘Strip and pole dance... like me?” Jongin’s eyes go wide. Sehun nods his head furiously. He looks slightly disgusted, which Baekhyun notes with irony. “And all this happened at Kyungsoo hyung’s place?”
Baekhyun walks over, gracefully grabs Sehun’s ear, and yanks him out of the chair. “Dumbass. First, it was Jongdae that dared me at that party. Second, I am going to make sure you and that bastard stop talking to each other because he’s already rubbing off on you. And three, I made sure that every fucking video of that has been deleted. If Jongdae still has one, I swear over my dead body that I will give him absolutely no mercy. So you can go tell that to your precious hyung.” Baekhyun stops to catch his breath and turns to Jongin, narrowing his eyes. “And you. Get out.”
“What about the mac and cheese?” Jongin whines. He drops to the floor and grabs hold of Baekhyun’s right leg.
Baekhyun begins to drag the two of them to the front door. “You don’t get any.”
“But why?” Jongin pouts.
“Well, you weren’t invited for lunch in the first place. Getting recruited by Sehun as a strippergram does not count.” They are now halfway there. “Shit, Jongin, stop pulling my pants down-”
“Do I still get paid?” Jongin looks up hopefully.
“Not my business.” Baekhyun manages to finally free his right leg from Jongin’s hold, who is now frantically clawing for another one of Baekhyun’s limbs. Baekhyun returns to the front door. “Ciao.”
The door is slammed shut.
“BUT I WANTED TO WORK AT THE FARM,” They hear Jongin yell from outside.
To everyone’s immense surprise, Baekhyun opens the door again.
“One more thing. If you want to keep your brain, I’d stop hanging out with Sehun. I don’t need another shithead around the farm.” Baekhyun winks and then once again slams the door shut.
÷
After lunch (without Jongin) and dessert (also without Jongin), Baekhyun washes the dishes and Sehun dries next to him. It’s a comfortable silence, the type that can really only be shared between true friends, and neither of them are in any hurry to break it.
The spell is broken when Baekhyun hands Sehun the last plate and leans wearily against the sink counter. “Just one more interview,” He reminds Sehun, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “One more, then we pick one or two helpers, and we can forget this mess ever happened.”
Sehun shrugs offhandedly, setting the plate inside the cabinet carefully. “I don’t know hyung... I kind of liked it.”
“You liked it?!” Baekhyun yelps, his eyes widening significantly. He lunged forward to grip Sehun’s shoulders in his petite hands, shaking the younger’s body a little. “Sehun, what’s wrong with you today? First the strippergram, now this-”
“Hey, I can like things if I want to,” Sehun says defensively. He pushes Baekhyun’s hands off, looking more than a little disgruntled.
“Do you know how much we have suffered?” Baekhyun rants, now hysterically pacing the floor back and forth. “Don’t you remember how frustrating this whole thing was? That time with that role-stealing ass Luhan, or that weirdo Yixing who just randomly showed up, or-” He throws his hands in the air. “I don’t even know. This whole week was just so dumb.”
“But hyung,” Sehun objects, his voice and features soft. “This week was the first week after your break-up that you started acting like yourself.”
Baekhyun opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.
Luckily, he’s saved by the knocking noise on his door. Sehun wordlessly goes to get it, and Baekhyun takes this chance to catch his breath and compose himself.
The small man who is led in is one of the only people that Baekhyun actually recognizes immediately; he smiles widely, his standard eye smile slipping back on to his face, and reaches out a hand. “Hey, Kyungsoo! How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you,” Kyungsoo replies politely; he looks uncomfortable standing where he is, so Baekhyun snatches up his laptop and leads them all to sit around the coffee table. Sehun fiddles with the ragged carpet while Baekhyun waits for his laptop to start.
“So, Kyungsoo, have you worked at a farm before-”
“No, but I’d love to. Umm. Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo interrupts him, ducking his head down to stare at his hands. “I came for another reason. I’m sorry that I’m taking up your time right now, but I really needed to talk to you.”
Baekhyun looks him from head-to-toe with a wary eye. Kyungsoo fidgets under his gaze, but manages to hold his ground. “Please don’t tell me this is because of Chanyeol,” Baekhyun finally says, his voice as emotionless as his words. “Because Soo, I know you’re close with him, but I don’t really want to talk about that sort of stuff.”
“But it’s really important!” Kyungsoo protests, looking back up to stare pleadingly at Baekhyun; the latter is taken back by the intensity of his expression. “You have to listen. Oh, come on, Baek,” He begs when Baekhyun rises to leave. “Don’t keep on running away from the problem. I’m telling you, you have to listen!”
“He has a point, hyung.” Sehun takes this opportunity to cut into the conversation; his hand darts out to catch Baekhyun’s wrist. “You should listen to Chanyeol’s side of this.”
Baekhyun looks at Sehun, uncertainty brimming in every line of his body. Sehun gives him a reassuring nod and motions for him to sit back down.
He does so, with less reluctance than before. Kyungsoo looks relieved; his confidence regained, he plunges forward ambitiously once more. “Chanyeol’s upset at himself, Baek,” Kyungsoo blurts out quickly. “He doesn’t say it, but I know him better than anyone. He’s upset that he didn’t stop his father from harassing you for the land; he’s upset that he didn’t listen to your requests and took you too lightly; he’s upset that he didn’t stop you from walking out of the apartment. I know that he’s being a stubborn dumbass, but you have to give him a chance.”
“Don’t spare him the bad parts, Kyungsoo hyung,” Sehun adds with a roll of his eyes. He looks straight at Baekhyun, an intimidatingly serious look spread over his face. “It was your fault too. You put blame where it didn’t belong: on your boyfriend, who has no more to do with what land his father’s company buys than he has with your horrible taste in fashion. You’re the one who overreacted when he asked you if it was really that big of a deal. And since you did the actual breaking up, however rashly, why are you always moping around like you can’t do anything? Just fix your relationship. Stop trying to act indifferent and go back to him. We all know that’s going to happen eventually, anyway.”
“I was really hurt,” Baekhyun starts, trying to defend himself.
Kyungsoo gently comments, “We understand. But it’s nothing that’s impossible to remedy, right? You can fix your relationship with Chanyeol.”
Uneasiness drives Baekhyun as he shakes his head back and forth vigorously and stuffs his head in his arms.
He can hear the muffled noises of Sehun standing up next to him. Sehun dusts off his pants, completely irritated by Baekhyun’s unwillingness to cooperate. “Yeah, yeah, you were hurt by the breakup. But, so was Chanyeol hyung. It’s not all about you.”
÷
Morning brings a stiff Sehun downstairs to the kitchen where Baekhyun is already making breakfast. One look at Baekhyun makes it obvious that he had been up for a significant portion of the night; his eyes are puffy and rimmed with blotchy red. Baekhyun looks back at the sound of Sehun’s footsteps and catches his dongsaeng’s eye. “Good morning,” Baekhyun says quietly, managing a small grin.
“Good morning,” Sehun replies, still very brusque in his tone.
Baekhyun shifts his weight onto the other side of his body. “I- After you said that to me last night, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking....” He trails off, his cheeks dusted with a pretty light pink.
“And?”
“And...” Baekhyun sighs and begins chopping the red peppers. “I think that you’re right. I was being really selfish these past couple of weeks.”
“And?”
“And I’m sorry that I only thought about myself.”
Sehun stares at Baekhyun in stony silence. Baekhyun continues to nonchalantly prepare ingredients, now moving on to onions, when in reality he is everything but nonchalant.
Then, the younger breaks out into a huge smile. He rushes forward and hugs Baekhyun, causing him to drop the knife with a loud clatter and let out a high-pitched squeak. “It’s okay, hyung,” Sehun breathes, laughing happily and still clinging to him. “I love you a lot.”
“I love you too, Sehun,” Baekhyun mumbles, feeling a familiar sting in his eyes.
Sehun grins mischievously. He tilts his head closer to Baekhyun and cackles, “Are those tears I see, hyung...?”
He is instantly shoved away. “Onions, actually,” Baekyun retorts, furiously rubbing at the corners of his eyes with his balled fist.
Sehun begins to fill the morning with chatter and gossip about the latest fashion trends in Southern California, and Baekhyun mindlessly nods along as he dices sausages. The noisiness of the kitchen doesn’t bother him at all; in fact, it’s comforting, giving him a feeling of normalcy. He is just pouring the mix of raw egg, red pepper, onions, mushrooms, and sausages into the frying pan when the doorbell rings. “Visitors this early?” He wonders out loud.
“I’ll check!” Sehun offers eagerly, already bounding over to the entrance door to see who these unexpected guests would be.
When Sehun returns, excitement has him practically bouncing off of the walls. “Hyung. We have another interviewee here.”
Baekhyun wipes his wet hands on his jeans, thoroughly confused. “But yesterday was the last day for interviews....”
Sehun scurries to the other side of the room, and Baekhyun turns to find the all-too-familiar face of Park Chanyeol staring right back at him. Immediately, Baekhyun turns right back around and pretends that he’s busy cooking again.
“Tell him to leave. Tell him I can’t see him. Tell him ‘goodbye’ because I don’t want to talk right now.”
“Nope, nope, and nope. Sorry, but this needs to get fixed right now, hyung. It’s urgent, you know that.”
After a bit too much effort, Sehun finally manages to seat the hesitant Baekhyun in front of Chanyeol. Sehun takes his seat in between the two.
“Alright. Well that psychiatrist Yixing said that the best thing to do is to voice our feelings. Ummm. Who wants to start?”
The two boys stare expectantly at Baekhyun.
He sighs and begins with a “How are you?”.
Chanyeol grimaces and stretches his arms over his head. “I’m definitely not fantastic. You?”
“I’m fine too, thank you.”
Sehun jabs an elbow into Baekhyun’s ribs.
Baekhyun sighs and presses forward. “Yeol... I’m sorry for overreacting. I knew that you weren’t responsible for any of those emails, but I still pressured you to change the situation. And I also broke up with you when you asked me to calm down. I’m really just... a huge mess.”
Sehun beams contently and subtly leaves the room.
Chanyeol’s eyes widen, and he reaches forward as if to take Baekhyun’s hands, but then pulls back as if he thought better of his actions. “No, baby, don’t talk like that.”
“But it really wasn’t your fault,” Baekhyun says again, a little louder this time. “I was being ridiculous, considering that those emails wouldn’t have done anything more than just irk me.”
“But, I still feel guilty though… I really missed you, and I’m so sorry that I was being inconsiderate to your feelings. I know the farm means a lot to you. I don’t know. I’m just really, really sorry, Hyunnie.” There’s a brief lapse in conversation, until Chanyeol corrects himself with a blush. “I mean Baekhyun. Sorry. I forgot you didn’t want me to call you that.”
“You know that I didn’t mean it when I said that…” Baekhyun quietly adds.
A dumbfounded look settles on Chanyeol.
“Hyunnie,” He murmured, bring a hand up to cup the side of Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun finds himself leaning into the warmth that is Park Chanyeol: something that he could never quite replace in his life.
Baekhyun’s eyelids flutter shut.
However, a good few awkward seconds pass before Baekhyun opens his eyes again and lets out an angry huff at the sight of Chanyeol, pressing his lips tightly together to avoid laughing. “Well, what are you waiting for? Kiss me, you dumbass,” Baekhyun demands before pressing his lips onto Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol chuckles against his lips before bringing a hand up to rest behind Baekhyun’s shoulders.
Sehun chooses that moment to walk in, covering his eyes with both hands and screaming in warning, “I’m coming in! I’m coming in! Young dongsaeng that you can’t corrupt coming in!”
Baekhyun wants more than anything to ignore the obnoxious little shithead, but Chanyeol pulls back, laughing and running a hand through his hair. At the sight of the older’s pout, though, he sneaks a hand underneath the table and intertwines his fingers with his boyfriend’s.
“Not at the table, you disgustingly in love couple,” Sehun mutters, still partially shielding his eyes from them.
÷
Two days later, nine men are called to the farmhouse at three in the afternoon. They each arrive in various states of confusion, some (Yixing) completely ignorant as to why they had been called, and some (Kyungsoo) fully aware of the situation at hand.
Sehun ends up greeting the interviewees inside of the living room- Baekhyun is a bit preoccupied sucking face with Chanyeol in the corner.
“Hello, all of you people who made me endure hours interviewing each one of you,” Sehun starts off graciously, sweeping into an extravagant bow. “Welcome to the Byun Farm new employee celebration. My wonderful co-worker Baekhyun, who was originally in charge of most of the hiring process, has had something very good happen to him very recently, and as a result, decided to hire all of you. He wanted to share the love.”
“‘All of us’?” Tao repeats earnestly, eyes bright.
“Every single flipping one of you guys,” Sehun assures him, the angelic smile on his face not befitting the sarcastic tone of his words.
“‘Something very good’” Jongdae chortles under his breath to Minseok, who is sitting right next to him. “Oh please tell me he finally got laid.”
“Can someone please explain what is going on,” Yifan deadpans in his corner of the room.
“I’m hired too?” Yixing asks, clearly very puzzled
“Why am I here?” Yifan asks one more time more insistently.
Luhan eyes Junmyeon up and down and licks his lips. “Please tell me you are single.”
“Luhan, you are fired,” Sehun says pleasantly from the front. “If you don’t learn how to keep your junk in your pants.”
“I never interviewed for this job,” Yifan reiterates.
“Jongin, when did you interview for this job?” Kyungsoo asks his roommate, obviously surprised and unaware that the latter had even been acquainted with Baekhyun.
“I-I’m not sure,” Jongin answers honestly, smiling sweetly at the hyung that he adores so much. “But I can’t wait for us to work together!”
“I just came back from a business trip yesterday,” Yifan persistently states. “I didn’t even know that this job existed.”
Tao smiles sweetly at Yifan. “Just let it happen, ge."
Sehun glances over at the corner couple, wondering if this might be a good time to talk to Baekhyun, but decides against it when he sees Chanyeol sneak a hand under his shirt. He rolls his eyes and focuses back on Luhan trying to flirt with Junmyeon.
Baekhyun owes him so much.
He better be getting something like three trenchcoats from Burberry after this fiasco.
A/N:
Well what happens after they boys get hired? I don’t know. Let your imaginations run wild :D Thank you for reading! Enjoy! Happy Baekfest ~ WHEEE
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