Dust Days - Part 4
Title: Dust Days - Part 4
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Pairing: Seelix/Laura, Seelix/Barolay
Rating: NC-17
Words: 2100
Summary: Chief is reluctant to ask Seelix to join the New Caprica Resistance. This pisses her off, but she's too proud to ask to join and Chief has told everyone else not to recruit her. Her frustration leads to an encounter with Jean Barolay that earns her the attention of one Laura Roslin. On top of Cylons, Seelix has to negotiate a tricky love triangle. This is the story of how Seelix joins the Resistance.
Notes: Why? Because I can see subtext anywhere. Any seemingly insignificant detail is ripe for my deluded interpretation. Yes, I do make this work with canon. Starts before the Resistance webisodes and contains spoilers for everything up to 'Revelations'.
In This Chapter: The Cylons attack the temple. Seelix discovers it was Jean's idea to hide weapons there. Angst. Laura asks for Seelix's company.
Waking up alone in an unfamiliar bed was something Seelix never expected since the attack on the Colonies. It wasn’t as though it was a regular occurrence before then. Usually she was the one to leave someone alone in the bed, waking early to start her training every morning.
There was nothing to wake up to on New Caprica, least of all military training. She watched her finger tips, her arm stretched across empty space, the tent door beyond haloed in pale light.
It was a ritual. Carefully take in every little detail of self and surroundings as though her eyes were the tool that would impress her existence all over everything they saw. It was relaxing, though she had long ago convinced herself it was not a way to cope with the potentiality of her last day alive.
There was at least one thing to be done today. Seelix patiently waited for class to finish and the children to return to the family they had left, and found Laura with Maya and Isis. It was odd that she couldn’t remember from where she had learnt the civilian woman’s name, let alone the name of her daughter.
She ran the school with Laura and Seelix privately envied the attention the former President paid her. She couldn’t say she had a reason to do so anymore. She doubted Maya had ever spent the night in Laura’s bed, secretly kissed her before she awoke in the morning.
Maya noticed her standing in the shadows and smiled warmly.
“Can I help you?”
Laura stood from where she was tidying and, at the sight of Seelix, bit her lip and blushed so beautifully it was an effort not to laugh. Laura turned away, hiding uselessly behind a hand, though more effectively behind the waves of her hair.
“I’m here to see Ms Roslin, actually.”
Maya hefted the toddler in her arms.
“I shall leave you alone then. See you tomorrow, Laura.” The woman waved and Laura barely turned to see her go.
They were left together in the tent. Seelix watched Laura resume her task of tidying, though was endearingly affected by her nerves and continually dropped things. Seelix came to help her.
“No, you don’t have to…”
Laura had clearly not intended to make eye contact. Her face flushed more brilliantly and she seemed suddenly robbed of Colonial language. Seelix felt trembles of delight beneath her breast.
“I,” she shifted, “I wanted to apologize.”
Laura could only stare. Seelix picked at her own fingers.
“About last night.”
Laura coiled. She backed away slowly and was soon a small figure in a corner that seemed out of reach from light.
Seelix pained at this reaction. She briefly considered lying, telling her that she didn’t hear a thing, but thought it a gross insult to treat a woman like Laura as though she were that fragile. She walked over to her, relieved that she did not seek to distance herself again, but saddened that she was cornered and perhaps felt she could not.
She was so stunning a woman. She dressed in modest silks for what little luxury they afforded her, and bundled in a thick coat to compensate her meager indulgence. Laura shuffled and turned between the corners of the wall, wary of Seelix’s approach.
“I…” Seelix spread her fingers and considered what to say. Laura was slotted so perfectly against the corner of the tent it made her sad to think she belonged there. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Laura hummed, at least, and any noise from her at this point was reassuring. But she still did not face her and hid well behind the curls of her hair.
“I was pretty drunk.”
Seelix knew at once and inexplicably that this was the wrong direction. Laura wasn’t offended. She would have expected no less when she accepted the invitation to follow her and Jean into the restrooms. She could easily have decided not to and the choice had been hers.
Seelix smiled. Apologizing meant it had not been her intention to paint Laura the object of such desire and worship. It was to say the only way she could have found the woman so appealing was through the blurred gaze of inebriation. And Laura was feeling humiliated and used.
“I really should have invited you to join us.”
She watched Laura’s reaction carefully, relieved at the subtle turn of her head. Smirking, Seelix went on.
“I mean, I don’t know how good I made it sound…”
A gentle hum, higher, more a release of breath accompanied by the tone of anticipation or something in the key of want. Seelix waited patiently but Laura had not yet come away from the walls. Seelix had one last line to cast. She made her voice low and leaned close.
“But it sounded to me that you liked what you heard.”
She could just see the woman bite her lip.
After leaving Laura, in a gesture that was meant to demonstrate she was not under any pressure, Seelix just wanted to unleash. Jean smiled to see her walking up to the Pyramid court. She tossed the ball from hand to hand.
“Hey, Sam. Now we can put two teams together.”
Sam bounced up beside her and grinned at Seelix. “Didn’t know she played.”
Seelix glared at Jean. “I don’t.”
“You know how to throw a ball don’t you?” Jean threw the ball at her without warning and, despite looking startled, Seelix managed to catch it convincingly. “Looks like you can catch too.” Jean turned and smacked Sam on the arm. “She can be on your team.”
It would not go well. There would be no impressive display of coordination or skill and there could only be two reasons for inviting her to play and there was no doubt in her mind that Jean would achieve both.
She accomplished the first early on when Sam passed Seelix the ball and Jean came to block her. She leaned over the back of her body, weaving with every attempt at escape she made. In the motion of reaching around her for the ball, Jean’s hand brushed her breast instead.
Seelix backed into her, and Jean stepped around her, grabbed the ball and went on to score. Sam crouched down in front of her as Jean slapped hands with her partner.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get that back,” he said.
“I wasn’t worried.”
The second, Jean didn’t need to do a thing to accomplish. The course of the game saw Seelix frequently falling or slipping over and in a few short minutes was twice as dirty and sweaty as the others. Sam helped her off her back with a smile.
“Kinda clumsy for military, aren’t you?”
Seelix grumbled but it only made Sam snicker. Jean certainly looked pleased. But looking at her across the court Seelix noticed that they had a small audience. Colonel Tigh and his wife, Ellen were seated on the bottom of the stands. Leaning against the frame was Chief.
No one would know how deeply his mere presence affected her. The next time Sam passed her the ball Seelix growled and slashed the air, hurling the ball across court. Jean was split seconds from a ball to the face but she ducked and the clang of metal sent the tiny audience into an enthused cheer.
“Whoa!” Sam put his hands on his hips, blinking with astonishment. “Nice one.”
It would be her only goal and she and Sam were utterly thrashed, but everyone wanted to celebrate it. They decided to drink outside, daring the patrol of looming Centurions to damper their spirits.
Jean sat close beside her on the stands and, letting the drunken merriment of their impromptu assembly wash over them, she and Seelix watched the stars. Seelix caught Chief watching her a number of times as he laughed and joked with Duck and Jammer. She saw something she hadn’t before.
She saw that he knew why she was so angry with him. And she saw that he was prepared to endure it. She didn’t know that she felt any better about it. But it would be one of the last times she would see him smile or hear him laugh.
Death was in every grain of dust, making footsteps hollow, and the scurry of activity about the settlement refused to acknowledge it. Seelix walked alone, words in her voice seemed unreal. Suspecting hidden weapons Cylons had attacked a temple. Nora was dead.
“It was your idea.”
The past couple of days seemed so distant as to be memories she couldn’t be sure were even real. She cursed herself for letting her guard down.
“Cally. Gods. Her baby. They could have been killed.” She was pacing, staggering under a gale of thoughts.
“What if I’d been at that temple?”
“You don’t believe in the Gods…”
Her skin didn’t even feel like her own.
“What if…” But she could not utter her name in such a thought. She clutched at her skull and screamed inside. Jean met her with penitent eyes, but her touch Seelix could not bear. The dust may know of death but the sky was scornfully bright.
The market place had no words for misery or fright. It stuck stubbornly to numbers, measurements, and pretended it was not aware of the irony of existing in calculations and mechanical sequences. Still, the shapes and the colours were a distraction and the sounds could burrow into the mind and make no room for other thoughts.
She found a place to sit and watched the bustle like it was a stream. It was hard not to dwell on her life as a marathon of nightmares, but the movement was comforting. The woman may have been standing there for several seconds or several minutes before resolving to sit beside her.
Longer moments still she did not beg her regard. Laura fidgeted terribly but Seelix waited patiently and then her quiet words resonated above the commotion.
“I want…”
Seelix grimaced at the stumble in her voice. Gathering her resolve, Laura continued.
“I want you to take me…” A quick breath, a pause, but her resolve held. “Somewhere else.”
Her eyes were so earnest. Seelix hadn’t prepared for that when she turned to face her. It touched her deeply, soothing the rage and frustration charging violent paths through her veins.
“Alright.” She looked across the stream again. “Go home. I’ll be there in a while.”
Laura didn’t leave right away. Skepticism, doubt, the suspension of belief were all adequate reasons but Seelix wondered if it wasn’t the anticipation of certain relief. A guarantee that a moment was afforded her to have the reality of New Caprica dissolve around her without the emotional and psychological strain it would usually cost.
Eventually Laura left, but Seelix remained. It was all well and good to arrange discreet meetings with Laura Roslin but the woman had stature Seelix did not.
For her to be seen walking into Laura’s tent in the middle of the day would stir all variety of talk. Perhaps if she were Kara Thrace or even Racetrack, she would be free to sweep back Laura’s door and frak the woman blind.
But the former Madame President had never seen fit to employ her as a faithful dog to fetch golden sticks and she was never commissioned as her personal chauffeur. This was certainly not something to begrudge. It appeared Ms Roslin had reserved a special position for which she felt the most suited person was Diana Seelix.
She stepped into the stream, let it carry her back along the stalls. She was trying to decide which items would make the most convincing delivery, when she was tapped on the shoulder. She turned and was met by a clumsy smile.
“Hey, Seelix.” Sam bobbed to the side with a little wave. Seelix frowned.
“Sam. You drunk?” She squinted.
The man laughed and rubbed his nose. “Nah, nah. I was just wonderin’ if you’d seen Jean anywhere. She was supposed to meet up for a game. I know you two have been spending a bit of time together lately.”
“Haven’t seen her.” She should have been concerned.
“Oh. Okay. Listen, Ellen Tigh asked me to get this to Roslin. Her tent’s all the way on the other side of the settlement and I really wanna hang around here and look for Jean so…do you think you could get this to her?”
Sam pulled out what looked like a book wrapped in a towel.
“Sure.” Seelix took the package.
She didn’t give Jean a second thought. It was a long walk to Laura’s tent so she peeked at the contents of the towel on the way.
It was book. Storm Runner. Ellen Tigh’s name was inside the front cover. It made her smile. Seelix had assumed this task was related to the Resistance and it turned out to be nothing more than sharing between friends.
Part 5
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Pairing: Seelix/Laura, Seelix/Barolay
Rating: NC-17
Words: 2100
Summary: Chief is reluctant to ask Seelix to join the New Caprica Resistance. This pisses her off, but she's too proud to ask to join and Chief has told everyone else not to recruit her. Her frustration leads to an encounter with Jean Barolay that earns her the attention of one Laura Roslin. On top of Cylons, Seelix has to negotiate a tricky love triangle. This is the story of how Seelix joins the Resistance.
Notes: Why? Because I can see subtext anywhere. Any seemingly insignificant detail is ripe for my deluded interpretation. Yes, I do make this work with canon. Starts before the Resistance webisodes and contains spoilers for everything up to 'Revelations'.
In This Chapter: The Cylons attack the temple. Seelix discovers it was Jean's idea to hide weapons there. Angst. Laura asks for Seelix's company.
Waking up alone in an unfamiliar bed was something Seelix never expected since the attack on the Colonies. It wasn’t as though it was a regular occurrence before then. Usually she was the one to leave someone alone in the bed, waking early to start her training every morning.
There was nothing to wake up to on New Caprica, least of all military training. She watched her finger tips, her arm stretched across empty space, the tent door beyond haloed in pale light.
It was a ritual. Carefully take in every little detail of self and surroundings as though her eyes were the tool that would impress her existence all over everything they saw. It was relaxing, though she had long ago convinced herself it was not a way to cope with the potentiality of her last day alive.
There was at least one thing to be done today. Seelix patiently waited for class to finish and the children to return to the family they had left, and found Laura with Maya and Isis. It was odd that she couldn’t remember from where she had learnt the civilian woman’s name, let alone the name of her daughter.
She ran the school with Laura and Seelix privately envied the attention the former President paid her. She couldn’t say she had a reason to do so anymore. She doubted Maya had ever spent the night in Laura’s bed, secretly kissed her before she awoke in the morning.
Maya noticed her standing in the shadows and smiled warmly.
“Can I help you?”
Laura stood from where she was tidying and, at the sight of Seelix, bit her lip and blushed so beautifully it was an effort not to laugh. Laura turned away, hiding uselessly behind a hand, though more effectively behind the waves of her hair.
“I’m here to see Ms Roslin, actually.”
Maya hefted the toddler in her arms.
“I shall leave you alone then. See you tomorrow, Laura.” The woman waved and Laura barely turned to see her go.
They were left together in the tent. Seelix watched Laura resume her task of tidying, though was endearingly affected by her nerves and continually dropped things. Seelix came to help her.
“No, you don’t have to…”
Laura had clearly not intended to make eye contact. Her face flushed more brilliantly and she seemed suddenly robbed of Colonial language. Seelix felt trembles of delight beneath her breast.
“I,” she shifted, “I wanted to apologize.”
Laura could only stare. Seelix picked at her own fingers.
“About last night.”
Laura coiled. She backed away slowly and was soon a small figure in a corner that seemed out of reach from light.
Seelix pained at this reaction. She briefly considered lying, telling her that she didn’t hear a thing, but thought it a gross insult to treat a woman like Laura as though she were that fragile. She walked over to her, relieved that she did not seek to distance herself again, but saddened that she was cornered and perhaps felt she could not.
She was so stunning a woman. She dressed in modest silks for what little luxury they afforded her, and bundled in a thick coat to compensate her meager indulgence. Laura shuffled and turned between the corners of the wall, wary of Seelix’s approach.
“I…” Seelix spread her fingers and considered what to say. Laura was slotted so perfectly against the corner of the tent it made her sad to think she belonged there. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Laura hummed, at least, and any noise from her at this point was reassuring. But she still did not face her and hid well behind the curls of her hair.
“I was pretty drunk.”
Seelix knew at once and inexplicably that this was the wrong direction. Laura wasn’t offended. She would have expected no less when she accepted the invitation to follow her and Jean into the restrooms. She could easily have decided not to and the choice had been hers.
Seelix smiled. Apologizing meant it had not been her intention to paint Laura the object of such desire and worship. It was to say the only way she could have found the woman so appealing was through the blurred gaze of inebriation. And Laura was feeling humiliated and used.
“I really should have invited you to join us.”
She watched Laura’s reaction carefully, relieved at the subtle turn of her head. Smirking, Seelix went on.
“I mean, I don’t know how good I made it sound…”
A gentle hum, higher, more a release of breath accompanied by the tone of anticipation or something in the key of want. Seelix waited patiently but Laura had not yet come away from the walls. Seelix had one last line to cast. She made her voice low and leaned close.
“But it sounded to me that you liked what you heard.”
She could just see the woman bite her lip.
After leaving Laura, in a gesture that was meant to demonstrate she was not under any pressure, Seelix just wanted to unleash. Jean smiled to see her walking up to the Pyramid court. She tossed the ball from hand to hand.
“Hey, Sam. Now we can put two teams together.”
Sam bounced up beside her and grinned at Seelix. “Didn’t know she played.”
Seelix glared at Jean. “I don’t.”
“You know how to throw a ball don’t you?” Jean threw the ball at her without warning and, despite looking startled, Seelix managed to catch it convincingly. “Looks like you can catch too.” Jean turned and smacked Sam on the arm. “She can be on your team.”
It would not go well. There would be no impressive display of coordination or skill and there could only be two reasons for inviting her to play and there was no doubt in her mind that Jean would achieve both.
She accomplished the first early on when Sam passed Seelix the ball and Jean came to block her. She leaned over the back of her body, weaving with every attempt at escape she made. In the motion of reaching around her for the ball, Jean’s hand brushed her breast instead.
Seelix backed into her, and Jean stepped around her, grabbed the ball and went on to score. Sam crouched down in front of her as Jean slapped hands with her partner.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get that back,” he said.
“I wasn’t worried.”
The second, Jean didn’t need to do a thing to accomplish. The course of the game saw Seelix frequently falling or slipping over and in a few short minutes was twice as dirty and sweaty as the others. Sam helped her off her back with a smile.
“Kinda clumsy for military, aren’t you?”
Seelix grumbled but it only made Sam snicker. Jean certainly looked pleased. But looking at her across the court Seelix noticed that they had a small audience. Colonel Tigh and his wife, Ellen were seated on the bottom of the stands. Leaning against the frame was Chief.
No one would know how deeply his mere presence affected her. The next time Sam passed her the ball Seelix growled and slashed the air, hurling the ball across court. Jean was split seconds from a ball to the face but she ducked and the clang of metal sent the tiny audience into an enthused cheer.
“Whoa!” Sam put his hands on his hips, blinking with astonishment. “Nice one.”
It would be her only goal and she and Sam were utterly thrashed, but everyone wanted to celebrate it. They decided to drink outside, daring the patrol of looming Centurions to damper their spirits.
Jean sat close beside her on the stands and, letting the drunken merriment of their impromptu assembly wash over them, she and Seelix watched the stars. Seelix caught Chief watching her a number of times as he laughed and joked with Duck and Jammer. She saw something she hadn’t before.
She saw that he knew why she was so angry with him. And she saw that he was prepared to endure it. She didn’t know that she felt any better about it. But it would be one of the last times she would see him smile or hear him laugh.
Death was in every grain of dust, making footsteps hollow, and the scurry of activity about the settlement refused to acknowledge it. Seelix walked alone, words in her voice seemed unreal. Suspecting hidden weapons Cylons had attacked a temple. Nora was dead.
“It was your idea.”
The past couple of days seemed so distant as to be memories she couldn’t be sure were even real. She cursed herself for letting her guard down.
“Cally. Gods. Her baby. They could have been killed.” She was pacing, staggering under a gale of thoughts.
“What if I’d been at that temple?”
“You don’t believe in the Gods…”
Her skin didn’t even feel like her own.
“What if…” But she could not utter her name in such a thought. She clutched at her skull and screamed inside. Jean met her with penitent eyes, but her touch Seelix could not bear. The dust may know of death but the sky was scornfully bright.
The market place had no words for misery or fright. It stuck stubbornly to numbers, measurements, and pretended it was not aware of the irony of existing in calculations and mechanical sequences. Still, the shapes and the colours were a distraction and the sounds could burrow into the mind and make no room for other thoughts.
She found a place to sit and watched the bustle like it was a stream. It was hard not to dwell on her life as a marathon of nightmares, but the movement was comforting. The woman may have been standing there for several seconds or several minutes before resolving to sit beside her.
Longer moments still she did not beg her regard. Laura fidgeted terribly but Seelix waited patiently and then her quiet words resonated above the commotion.
“I want…”
Seelix grimaced at the stumble in her voice. Gathering her resolve, Laura continued.
“I want you to take me…” A quick breath, a pause, but her resolve held. “Somewhere else.”
Her eyes were so earnest. Seelix hadn’t prepared for that when she turned to face her. It touched her deeply, soothing the rage and frustration charging violent paths through her veins.
“Alright.” She looked across the stream again. “Go home. I’ll be there in a while.”
Laura didn’t leave right away. Skepticism, doubt, the suspension of belief were all adequate reasons but Seelix wondered if it wasn’t the anticipation of certain relief. A guarantee that a moment was afforded her to have the reality of New Caprica dissolve around her without the emotional and psychological strain it would usually cost.
Eventually Laura left, but Seelix remained. It was all well and good to arrange discreet meetings with Laura Roslin but the woman had stature Seelix did not.
For her to be seen walking into Laura’s tent in the middle of the day would stir all variety of talk. Perhaps if she were Kara Thrace or even Racetrack, she would be free to sweep back Laura’s door and frak the woman blind.
But the former Madame President had never seen fit to employ her as a faithful dog to fetch golden sticks and she was never commissioned as her personal chauffeur. This was certainly not something to begrudge. It appeared Ms Roslin had reserved a special position for which she felt the most suited person was Diana Seelix.
She stepped into the stream, let it carry her back along the stalls. She was trying to decide which items would make the most convincing delivery, when she was tapped on the shoulder. She turned and was met by a clumsy smile.
“Hey, Seelix.” Sam bobbed to the side with a little wave. Seelix frowned.
“Sam. You drunk?” She squinted.
The man laughed and rubbed his nose. “Nah, nah. I was just wonderin’ if you’d seen Jean anywhere. She was supposed to meet up for a game. I know you two have been spending a bit of time together lately.”
“Haven’t seen her.” She should have been concerned.
“Oh. Okay. Listen, Ellen Tigh asked me to get this to Roslin. Her tent’s all the way on the other side of the settlement and I really wanna hang around here and look for Jean so…do you think you could get this to her?”
Sam pulled out what looked like a book wrapped in a towel.
“Sure.” Seelix took the package.
She didn’t give Jean a second thought. It was a long walk to Laura’s tent so she peeked at the contents of the towel on the way.
It was book. Storm Runner. Ellen Tigh’s name was inside the front cover. It made her smile. Seelix had assumed this task was related to the Resistance and it turned out to be nothing more than sharing between friends.
Part 5