fic exchange - Practically Perfect in Every Way
Here's my fic. I hope you like it. Thankyou to soul_beguiled for looking this over for me. This fic would be set in New Moon, probably an AU after Jacob has transformed.
Title: Practically Perfect In Every Way
Author: the_angry_pixie
Rating: T
Warnings: none really. maybe a little suggestive.
Written for: lilabut
Prompts: Disney Song(s) | | The Rabbit | | A kiss in some special place (not the mouth or anything obvious like that)
What they didn’t want to see: Lemons or anything close to it | | Imprinting | | Whiney Bella
Summary: Jacob is practically perfect in every way. There's just one problem. He knows it.
Validation Beta: winter4555
Bella was feeling huffy. She really shouldn’t be but she was. Sitting in Jacob’s kitchen, flicking through the newspaper erratically.
“Ok so what do you want to do then? We could go see a movie? That one where the sheep turn into zombies looks good.”
Jacob looked up from where he was examining the contents of his old avocado coloured fridge.
“Sounds good.”
“But wait! You’re too young for that one” Bella murmured thoughtfully, noticing the rating on the black and white advertisment.
At this Jacob straightened himself, closing the fridge door with a smirk.
“It’s cool. I can pass for a 17 year old. I can pass as much older than that if I want. Feel like some booze, I could probably get that as well.” He winked at the visually unimpressed girl sitting at his kitchen table.
“Yeah yeah I get it” Bella clipped. “You’re like one of those freaky kids that grow moustaches in middle school” she grumbled.
“I always wanted a moustache. Those kids were my heroes…” Jacob sighed wistfully as he leant back against the fridge.
Bella raised an eyebrow. “Rrrrright… back to the movie… I’ll still have to buy your ticket for you, they may ask for ID.”
And again there was that cheeky smirk back on Jacob’s face. “Wellllll… if they ask for ID, I could always just work my magic on the chick behind the counter.” By this time he had sauntered over to where Bella was sitting, leaning one hand down on the table and the other on the back of her chair so that he was hovering just above her eyeline.
Although Bella’s heartbeat might’ve picked up just slightly she refused to let it show on her face. She carefully moulded her features into what she hoped was a condescending expression. “Work… your magic?”
To this, Jacob only smiled widely, stepping fluidly behind her so that he was leaning on the back of her chair. Suddenly his voice was very close to Bella’s ear and he was talking in a very low and steady voice. “You know, give em a smile, flex the muscles, maybe flash them a bit of abs.”
Bella shivered. Suddenly she was being thrust back into the memory of an incident that had happened that very same afternoon.
She had been sitting inside the Rabbit in the parking lot of the small convenience store in La Push, watching Jacob’s retreating figure through the windscreen as he walked towards the shop.
She had noticed the way a small group of three girls had eyed him as he walked in the door, breaking into hushed whispers and giggles as soon as he disappeared. They weren’t native-looking so Bella figured they must be tourists who had wandered up from the beach. She paid no heed to them though as it had seemed that Jacob hadn’t even noticed them.
He had taken his sweet time inside the store.
By the time he had remerged about fifteen minutes later Bella had gotten out of the car and was sitting on the hood, soaking up the rare sun.
This time the three girls were less shy. As soon as Jacob passed them they started giggling and goading each other until one of them called out. “Ye-aw boy! You workin’ those jeans!”
Bella saw the small smile breakout across Jacob’s face as he looked over his shoulder at the girls.
Noticing they had his attention the catcalling went on. “Yeah you know it boy!” “Work it Work it!” “What you got under that shirt for us?!”
Bella couldn’t believe her ears. Jesus, where did these girls, (she guessed she should really call them women, they looked about 25) get off??
Apparently thinking about her friend was where they got off. And she didn’t like it one bit.
Jacob on the other hand… he was about ten yards from the car now and the small smile had grown into a pearly grin. He made sure he had Bella’s eye, made sure she caught his mischievous wink before he turned around to look back at the girls, still making his way towards the car (and Bella) backwards. The girls stopped calling and just stared at him.
It was then that Bella noticed that Jacob’s free hand was under the frontend of his shirt and it was rising. He was lifting his flipping shirt up!!
The girls were going crazy. “Oww!” “Yeah!” “Take it off!”
Bella felt the very tips of her ears burning with the violent blush her face had succumbed too. She couldn’t believe what Jacob was doing!!
She could see the shirt’s hem rising. Not properly though because his back was to her, but she could see how high it was getting. It was at the bottom of his ribs by now and was still rising… it was about to reveal his pecks, it was almost there and… Jacob pulled the white material back into place and with a cheeky waggle of his pointer finger at the group of girls he turned around just as he reached the car. Like it had been perfectly timed.
Behind him the disappointed cheers and jeers of the girls could be heard like a flock of seagulls. In front of him was Bella sitting on the front of his car, red as a beetroot, her hands clutching the edge of the hood.
Without a word he handed the newspaper in his hand to her and walked around her to get into the driver’s seat.
“What was that all about?!” Bella demanded as soon as she was seated in the passenger seat. She could see were Jacob was looking through the windscreen, still smirking over to where the bevy of young women were seated.
He looked over at her then. And to his credit he did look a bit sheepish.
“I’m sorry. It’s just I couldn’t decide which one I wanted.”
“What?” Bella exclaimed in dismay.
“That’s why I took so long. I couldn’t decide what I wanted.”
“What are you on about Jacob?” Bella felt like her eyes wanted to pop right out of her head.
“Beef or Turkey” Jacob smiled as he held up the brightly coloured packets in his hand. I couldn’t decide which jerky I wanted and so I got both. That’s why I took so long.”
Jacob casually tossed the packets up on the dashboard as he started the Rabbits engine. Bella cheeks heated instantly. They obviously weren’t talking about the same thing. And now it came to it, she just couldn’t find it in herself to bring it up.
And so “the incident” wasn’t discussed at all on the way home. They talked about the crappy music on the radio. The merits of beef or turkey jerky. How awesome it was that the sun had been out for their motorbike ride. But they didn’t discuss what had happened outside the convenience store.
And so Bella’s flustered and slightly annoyed mood was left to simmer.
Until…
“Ok that’s it!” Bella jerked away from where Jacob had been leaning down to whisper in her ear. Standing up from the kitchen table abruptly, she roughly grabbed Jacob’s arm and started walking. “Come with me you!”
“Where are we going?” Jacob voice was amused as he allowed himself to be dragged along.
Bella didn’t answer him, staying silent as she pulled him into his pokey little living room, coming to a halt in front of the couch.
“Sit.”
Jacob obliged. Looking up and seeming to finally register Bella’s utterly peeved look.
“What’s going on Bella? What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice amused, but inching towards worried.
“We have a problem! No wait, you have a problem!” Bella tried to sound domineering, but wasn’t quite sure she pulled it off.
“We do? I do?” Jacob seemed baffled for a moment but followed it quickly with a sly grin. “Naaah we don’t. I’m perfect!”
Bella clenched her fists and emitted a strange noise in her throat.
“That’s it!! That’s exactly it! You’re ego. It’s getting to be too much Jacob.” She stated forcefully as she began walking back and forth. “Look, I’m glad that you’re so happy with your new body ‘n all, but these little comments all over the place, they’re becoming insufferable! And flashing strangers?? IN PUBLIC!! I mean jeez, it makes me want to strangle you half the time!”
“Heh heh, not much new there ay?” Jacob interjected watching Bella’s progress back and forth amusedly.
Bella stopped pacing and glared at the boy sitting before her. “Don’t make jokes right now. I’m trying to teach you a lesson. It’ll be good for your character to be taken down a few notches. Ok take off your shirt.”
“Woo Bells. I thought you’d never ask” The boy sniggered reaching immediately for the hem of his shirt.
“Wait! Wait!” Bella amended quickly her hands flying up in matching stop signals. “On second thoughts, keep your shirt on. Just lift it up for me. I’m about to show you the biggest ego-deflator I know. No one escapes this one.”
Jacob raised an eyebrow, but obediently raised his shirt. Probably more slowly than was particularly necessary. One by one his impressive abdominal muscles were revealed and it was to Bella’s horror that she discovered that her precious ego-deflator had a loophole.
I did not work for werewolves.
“Whuh? Huh? Where’s all the pudge? All the fat?” Bella questioned as she kneeled down on the couch next to him to have a closer look. “Even I have belly-bulge when I am sitting down like that. And I’m skinny as a rake.” She was referring to the rolls of fat around the waist-line that most normal people succumbed too when they sat down. But on Jacob… all there was to see, was muscle.
Without quite realising what she was doing Bella found herself running her hand up and down Jacob’s perfectly fat-free stomach. She just couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
“Keep that up and I’m gonna have to start charging” Jacob laughed, disintegrating even further into guffaws when Bella blushed and pulled her hand away hastily.
Slumping down on the couch next to him Bella groaned in defeat.
“There must be something imperfect about you. Nobody has a completely flawless body. They can’t. It’s just… it wouldn’t be fair!” Bella grumbled to herself moodily.
She felt the nudge of an elbow against her arm. “Sorry Bells. Like I said. I’m practically perfect in every way. I’m like the studly, male version of Mary Poppins.”
Again that strange noise inside Bella’s throat. Jacob was coming to know that as her I’m-trying-really-hard-not-to-strangle-you noise.
“Do you at least have bad breath in the morning? That would at least be something” Bella grumbled as she examined her own belly beneath her shirt which was bulging out unflatteringly over her jeans.
All she saw was the quick flash of black hair as Jacob’s head slipped into view only long enough to place a small kiss right on her exposed stomach.
“Why don’t you sleep over and find out?” he grinned cheekily as he turned around to look up at her from where his head now lay in her lap.
Bella frowned at him, but Jacob could see where she was holding back her amusement. It was there to behold in the small curve in the corner of her lip.
“Get up you. We have a movie to go to” Bella unceremoniously pushed his head out of her lap and flounced out of her sitting position.
Whatever game they had been playing, Bella was pretty sure Jacob had just won, and she wasn’t feeling too good about it.
She could hear him begin whistling as he followed her out of his loungeroom. It sounded vaguely familiar to Bella. She paused and thought for a bit until Jacob and his perfectly rock-hard body was bumping into the back of her.
And then it clicked.
She whipped her head around and glared at him menacingly.
“’A Spoonful of Sugar’ Jacob?”
The taller boy just grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
Emitting that strange sound again Bella started stomping away huffily.
“You are not Mary Poppins, and you are not perfect Jacob!” she growled from behind clenched teeth as she grabbed her coat and walked outside.
This did not however, deter Jacob from whistling his victory chant for the rest of the afternoon.
Title: Practically Perfect In Every Way
Author: the_angry_pixie
Rating: T
Warnings: none really. maybe a little suggestive.
Written for: lilabut
Prompts: Disney Song(s) | | The Rabbit | | A kiss in some special place (not the mouth or anything obvious like that)
What they didn’t want to see: Lemons or anything close to it | | Imprinting | | Whiney Bella
Summary: Jacob is practically perfect in every way. There's just one problem. He knows it.
Validation Beta: winter4555
Bella was feeling huffy. She really shouldn’t be but she was. Sitting in Jacob’s kitchen, flicking through the newspaper erratically.
“Ok so what do you want to do then? We could go see a movie? That one where the sheep turn into zombies looks good.”
Jacob looked up from where he was examining the contents of his old avocado coloured fridge.
“Sounds good.”
“But wait! You’re too young for that one” Bella murmured thoughtfully, noticing the rating on the black and white advertisment.
At this Jacob straightened himself, closing the fridge door with a smirk.
“It’s cool. I can pass for a 17 year old. I can pass as much older than that if I want. Feel like some booze, I could probably get that as well.” He winked at the visually unimpressed girl sitting at his kitchen table.
“Yeah yeah I get it” Bella clipped. “You’re like one of those freaky kids that grow moustaches in middle school” she grumbled.
“I always wanted a moustache. Those kids were my heroes…” Jacob sighed wistfully as he leant back against the fridge.
Bella raised an eyebrow. “Rrrrright… back to the movie… I’ll still have to buy your ticket for you, they may ask for ID.”
And again there was that cheeky smirk back on Jacob’s face. “Wellllll… if they ask for ID, I could always just work my magic on the chick behind the counter.” By this time he had sauntered over to where Bella was sitting, leaning one hand down on the table and the other on the back of her chair so that he was hovering just above her eyeline.
Although Bella’s heartbeat might’ve picked up just slightly she refused to let it show on her face. She carefully moulded her features into what she hoped was a condescending expression. “Work… your magic?”
To this, Jacob only smiled widely, stepping fluidly behind her so that he was leaning on the back of her chair. Suddenly his voice was very close to Bella’s ear and he was talking in a very low and steady voice. “You know, give em a smile, flex the muscles, maybe flash them a bit of abs.”
Bella shivered. Suddenly she was being thrust back into the memory of an incident that had happened that very same afternoon.
She had been sitting inside the Rabbit in the parking lot of the small convenience store in La Push, watching Jacob’s retreating figure through the windscreen as he walked towards the shop.
She had noticed the way a small group of three girls had eyed him as he walked in the door, breaking into hushed whispers and giggles as soon as he disappeared. They weren’t native-looking so Bella figured they must be tourists who had wandered up from the beach. She paid no heed to them though as it had seemed that Jacob hadn’t even noticed them.
He had taken his sweet time inside the store.
By the time he had remerged about fifteen minutes later Bella had gotten out of the car and was sitting on the hood, soaking up the rare sun.
This time the three girls were less shy. As soon as Jacob passed them they started giggling and goading each other until one of them called out. “Ye-aw boy! You workin’ those jeans!”
Bella saw the small smile breakout across Jacob’s face as he looked over his shoulder at the girls.
Noticing they had his attention the catcalling went on. “Yeah you know it boy!” “Work it Work it!” “What you got under that shirt for us?!”
Bella couldn’t believe her ears. Jesus, where did these girls, (she guessed she should really call them women, they looked about 25) get off??
Apparently thinking about her friend was where they got off. And she didn’t like it one bit.
Jacob on the other hand… he was about ten yards from the car now and the small smile had grown into a pearly grin. He made sure he had Bella’s eye, made sure she caught his mischievous wink before he turned around to look back at the girls, still making his way towards the car (and Bella) backwards. The girls stopped calling and just stared at him.
It was then that Bella noticed that Jacob’s free hand was under the frontend of his shirt and it was rising. He was lifting his flipping shirt up!!
The girls were going crazy. “Oww!” “Yeah!” “Take it off!”
Bella felt the very tips of her ears burning with the violent blush her face had succumbed too. She couldn’t believe what Jacob was doing!!
She could see the shirt’s hem rising. Not properly though because his back was to her, but she could see how high it was getting. It was at the bottom of his ribs by now and was still rising… it was about to reveal his pecks, it was almost there and… Jacob pulled the white material back into place and with a cheeky waggle of his pointer finger at the group of girls he turned around just as he reached the car. Like it had been perfectly timed.
Behind him the disappointed cheers and jeers of the girls could be heard like a flock of seagulls. In front of him was Bella sitting on the front of his car, red as a beetroot, her hands clutching the edge of the hood.
Without a word he handed the newspaper in his hand to her and walked around her to get into the driver’s seat.
“What was that all about?!” Bella demanded as soon as she was seated in the passenger seat. She could see were Jacob was looking through the windscreen, still smirking over to where the bevy of young women were seated.
He looked over at her then. And to his credit he did look a bit sheepish.
“I’m sorry. It’s just I couldn’t decide which one I wanted.”
“What?” Bella exclaimed in dismay.
“That’s why I took so long. I couldn’t decide what I wanted.”
“What are you on about Jacob?” Bella felt like her eyes wanted to pop right out of her head.
“Beef or Turkey” Jacob smiled as he held up the brightly coloured packets in his hand. I couldn’t decide which jerky I wanted and so I got both. That’s why I took so long.”
Jacob casually tossed the packets up on the dashboard as he started the Rabbits engine. Bella cheeks heated instantly. They obviously weren’t talking about the same thing. And now it came to it, she just couldn’t find it in herself to bring it up.
And so “the incident” wasn’t discussed at all on the way home. They talked about the crappy music on the radio. The merits of beef or turkey jerky. How awesome it was that the sun had been out for their motorbike ride. But they didn’t discuss what had happened outside the convenience store.
And so Bella’s flustered and slightly annoyed mood was left to simmer.
Until…
“Ok that’s it!” Bella jerked away from where Jacob had been leaning down to whisper in her ear. Standing up from the kitchen table abruptly, she roughly grabbed Jacob’s arm and started walking. “Come with me you!”
“Where are we going?” Jacob voice was amused as he allowed himself to be dragged along.
Bella didn’t answer him, staying silent as she pulled him into his pokey little living room, coming to a halt in front of the couch.
“Sit.”
Jacob obliged. Looking up and seeming to finally register Bella’s utterly peeved look.
“What’s going on Bella? What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice amused, but inching towards worried.
“We have a problem! No wait, you have a problem!” Bella tried to sound domineering, but wasn’t quite sure she pulled it off.
“We do? I do?” Jacob seemed baffled for a moment but followed it quickly with a sly grin. “Naaah we don’t. I’m perfect!”
Bella clenched her fists and emitted a strange noise in her throat.
“That’s it!! That’s exactly it! You’re ego. It’s getting to be too much Jacob.” She stated forcefully as she began walking back and forth. “Look, I’m glad that you’re so happy with your new body ‘n all, but these little comments all over the place, they’re becoming insufferable! And flashing strangers?? IN PUBLIC!! I mean jeez, it makes me want to strangle you half the time!”
“Heh heh, not much new there ay?” Jacob interjected watching Bella’s progress back and forth amusedly.
Bella stopped pacing and glared at the boy sitting before her. “Don’t make jokes right now. I’m trying to teach you a lesson. It’ll be good for your character to be taken down a few notches. Ok take off your shirt.”
“Woo Bells. I thought you’d never ask” The boy sniggered reaching immediately for the hem of his shirt.
“Wait! Wait!” Bella amended quickly her hands flying up in matching stop signals. “On second thoughts, keep your shirt on. Just lift it up for me. I’m about to show you the biggest ego-deflator I know. No one escapes this one.”
Jacob raised an eyebrow, but obediently raised his shirt. Probably more slowly than was particularly necessary. One by one his impressive abdominal muscles were revealed and it was to Bella’s horror that she discovered that her precious ego-deflator had a loophole.
I did not work for werewolves.
“Whuh? Huh? Where’s all the pudge? All the fat?” Bella questioned as she kneeled down on the couch next to him to have a closer look. “Even I have belly-bulge when I am sitting down like that. And I’m skinny as a rake.” She was referring to the rolls of fat around the waist-line that most normal people succumbed too when they sat down. But on Jacob… all there was to see, was muscle.
Without quite realising what she was doing Bella found herself running her hand up and down Jacob’s perfectly fat-free stomach. She just couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
“Keep that up and I’m gonna have to start charging” Jacob laughed, disintegrating even further into guffaws when Bella blushed and pulled her hand away hastily.
Slumping down on the couch next to him Bella groaned in defeat.
“There must be something imperfect about you. Nobody has a completely flawless body. They can’t. It’s just… it wouldn’t be fair!” Bella grumbled to herself moodily.
She felt the nudge of an elbow against her arm. “Sorry Bells. Like I said. I’m practically perfect in every way. I’m like the studly, male version of Mary Poppins.”
Again that strange noise inside Bella’s throat. Jacob was coming to know that as her I’m-trying-really-hard-not-to-strangle-you noise.
“Do you at least have bad breath in the morning? That would at least be something” Bella grumbled as she examined her own belly beneath her shirt which was bulging out unflatteringly over her jeans.
All she saw was the quick flash of black hair as Jacob’s head slipped into view only long enough to place a small kiss right on her exposed stomach.
“Why don’t you sleep over and find out?” he grinned cheekily as he turned around to look up at her from where his head now lay in her lap.
Bella frowned at him, but Jacob could see where she was holding back her amusement. It was there to behold in the small curve in the corner of her lip.
“Get up you. We have a movie to go to” Bella unceremoniously pushed his head out of her lap and flounced out of her sitting position.
Whatever game they had been playing, Bella was pretty sure Jacob had just won, and she wasn’t feeling too good about it.
She could hear him begin whistling as he followed her out of his loungeroom. It sounded vaguely familiar to Bella. She paused and thought for a bit until Jacob and his perfectly rock-hard body was bumping into the back of her.
And then it clicked.
She whipped her head around and glared at him menacingly.
“’A Spoonful of Sugar’ Jacob?”
The taller boy just grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
Emitting that strange sound again Bella started stomping away huffily.
“You are not Mary Poppins, and you are not perfect Jacob!” she growled from behind clenched teeth as she grabbed her coat and walked outside.
This did not however, deter Jacob from whistling his victory chant for the rest of the afternoon.