#084 / Keeping Up Appearances
And yet another one!
My Big Damn Table.
Fandom: The L Word.
Characters: Lara/Dana.
Prompt: #084 He.
Word Count: 800.
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
Spoilers: Up to Lawfully.
Summary: Lara is hurt when she finds out that Dana isn’t taking her to the Subaru ad campaign party, but instead is taking someone else as her date.
She just leaves.
The dress she’s brought with her for the occasion flaps gracelessly behind her as she slings it over her shoulder and heads for the door, and then for her car parked in the driveway, ignoring the imaginary pleas for her not to leave - those pleas she imagines for her own benefit, because it’s what she needs to get her through the next few minutes. She doesn’t know what to say, not that there’s anyone to say anything to now; it doesn’t matter now, and she doesn’t stop to think about what she could have said or could be saying.
She simply drives off.
It’s only a half hour later when she’s in the comfort of her own home, and it’s then and there that she stops to think - because she can afford to do so right that very moment. She can afford to break down and cry because she knows no one is looking - and even though she only thinks about it for a brief moment, it’s enough to make her heart ache in hurt and sadness. She refuses, however, to let the tears fall; she will not cry over such a silly, insignificant little thing. It’s completely unlike her to do so, and besides, what else did she expect?
She brusquely wipes at her dry eyes.
The night is still young, and she doesn’t want to spend it brooding. But that’s the way she spends it anyway; she can’t help herself. She’s had her eye on Dana for quite a while now, and now that they were actually somewhat of an item, she likes her even more than she’d thought was possible. She doesn’t understand why the beautiful tennis player has to hide herself like that all the time. Because Lara likes Dana for who she is: friendly, cute, flustered, lesbian Dana… who she never thought would hurt her like this. The ad campaign for Subaru was a big deal, and naturally, she thought she should be there as support for Dana on her big day.
She sniffs, and is surprised to find a tear trickling down her cheek.
Dana, as things turned out, already had a date. Lara doesn’t recall his name. All she knows is that Dana is going with him, and not her. She knows it’s fake, she knows it’s phony, and she knows most of all that Dana doesn’t like him - not in that way. She knows Dana would’ve rather gone with her, but that only makes the pain all the less bearable. It’s a cover-up, yes, and it’s to keep up appearances. To tell the world that hey, Dana Fairbanks isn’t gay, and hey, Dana Fairbanks has a boyfriend.
She walks over to the bathroom sink and washes her face.
To some extent, Lara knows all this. But she doesn’t understand; not really, anyway. She’s always been out of the closet, and it’s never been a problem for her. Most of the women she’s dated have been out of the closet, too. And she wants to make it work with Dana… but she can’t be ignored all the time. She can’t just sit there and watch as her girlfriend pretends to like someone else all the time in public. It isn’t something she will allow herself to do; she’s far too proud for that.
She pats her face dry, and makes herself comfortable on the couch.
Why she’s still thinking about Dana, she doesn’t quite know. The relationship is over as far as she’s concerned; it can’t possibly still be going on after that encounter, can it? Lara doesn’t think so. She thinks Dana will move on, maybe find someone who can bear to stand by and watch as she has a fake public life. What she doesn’t understand is why this is affecting her so much. She understands she is disappointed and she understands she expected more of Dana. She understands she likes Dana a lot. But even all that isn’t valid enough to cause her this much unnecessary heartache.
She sits there for hours, watching the screen flash advertisements and shows.
And then the doorbell rings. Lara has a guess as to who it may be, and even then she considers not answering the door, because she’s just about had it with emotions for the night. Yet at the same time she feels bad for ignoring the visitor, even though she knows she shouldn’t, because said visitor was the cause of her misery for the evening. She should know better.
But still she opens the door.
And there, indeed, stands Dana, looking apologetic.
And even though she is still hurt, even though she doesn’t want to and will pretend to be reluctant to take her back for the next few minutes, she knows right then she will forgive her.
My Big Damn Table.
Fandom: The L Word.
Characters: Lara/Dana.
Prompt: #084 He.
Word Count: 800.
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
Spoilers: Up to Lawfully.
Summary: Lara is hurt when she finds out that Dana isn’t taking her to the Subaru ad campaign party, but instead is taking someone else as her date.
She just leaves.
The dress she’s brought with her for the occasion flaps gracelessly behind her as she slings it over her shoulder and heads for the door, and then for her car parked in the driveway, ignoring the imaginary pleas for her not to leave - those pleas she imagines for her own benefit, because it’s what she needs to get her through the next few minutes. She doesn’t know what to say, not that there’s anyone to say anything to now; it doesn’t matter now, and she doesn’t stop to think about what she could have said or could be saying.
She simply drives off.
It’s only a half hour later when she’s in the comfort of her own home, and it’s then and there that she stops to think - because she can afford to do so right that very moment. She can afford to break down and cry because she knows no one is looking - and even though she only thinks about it for a brief moment, it’s enough to make her heart ache in hurt and sadness. She refuses, however, to let the tears fall; she will not cry over such a silly, insignificant little thing. It’s completely unlike her to do so, and besides, what else did she expect?
She brusquely wipes at her dry eyes.
The night is still young, and she doesn’t want to spend it brooding. But that’s the way she spends it anyway; she can’t help herself. She’s had her eye on Dana for quite a while now, and now that they were actually somewhat of an item, she likes her even more than she’d thought was possible. She doesn’t understand why the beautiful tennis player has to hide herself like that all the time. Because Lara likes Dana for who she is: friendly, cute, flustered, lesbian Dana… who she never thought would hurt her like this. The ad campaign for Subaru was a big deal, and naturally, she thought she should be there as support for Dana on her big day.
She sniffs, and is surprised to find a tear trickling down her cheek.
Dana, as things turned out, already had a date. Lara doesn’t recall his name. All she knows is that Dana is going with him, and not her. She knows it’s fake, she knows it’s phony, and she knows most of all that Dana doesn’t like him - not in that way. She knows Dana would’ve rather gone with her, but that only makes the pain all the less bearable. It’s a cover-up, yes, and it’s to keep up appearances. To tell the world that hey, Dana Fairbanks isn’t gay, and hey, Dana Fairbanks has a boyfriend.
She walks over to the bathroom sink and washes her face.
To some extent, Lara knows all this. But she doesn’t understand; not really, anyway. She’s always been out of the closet, and it’s never been a problem for her. Most of the women she’s dated have been out of the closet, too. And she wants to make it work with Dana… but she can’t be ignored all the time. She can’t just sit there and watch as her girlfriend pretends to like someone else all the time in public. It isn’t something she will allow herself to do; she’s far too proud for that.
She pats her face dry, and makes herself comfortable on the couch.
Why she’s still thinking about Dana, she doesn’t quite know. The relationship is over as far as she’s concerned; it can’t possibly still be going on after that encounter, can it? Lara doesn’t think so. She thinks Dana will move on, maybe find someone who can bear to stand by and watch as she has a fake public life. What she doesn’t understand is why this is affecting her so much. She understands she is disappointed and she understands she expected more of Dana. She understands she likes Dana a lot. But even all that isn’t valid enough to cause her this much unnecessary heartache.
She sits there for hours, watching the screen flash advertisements and shows.
And then the doorbell rings. Lara has a guess as to who it may be, and even then she considers not answering the door, because she’s just about had it with emotions for the night. Yet at the same time she feels bad for ignoring the visitor, even though she knows she shouldn’t, because said visitor was the cause of her misery for the evening. She should know better.
But still she opens the door.
And there, indeed, stands Dana, looking apologetic.
And even though she is still hurt, even though she doesn’t want to and will pretend to be reluctant to take her back for the next few minutes, she knows right then she will forgive her.