(Untitled)

[the_tenzo]

Written for the fic commentary meme. Would you like to help me procrastinate request a commentary? You may do so right here

Comments

[professor_spork]

Porny language will forever be my downfall. Shaft? Length? Cock? Prick? I don't even know. Thingie?

WORD. Personally, I've always found "length" to be... well, not "most erotic," because frankly I find most porny language rather squicksome. So I guess "least objectionable." That and really vague pronouns, i.e., "the feel of him in her hands." It emphasizes the intimacy as opposed to the geometry.

... yes I'm gratuitously using my new Secret Diary icon just because we're talking about sex. WHAT OF IT?

[the_tenzo]

AND DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT TO CALL FEMALE BITS.

I generally prefer vague mentions of "him" and "her" unless there's an actual need to be specific. Most adults know how sex operates, so I'm assuming readers know that when sex is clearly happening and I say "he stroked her" they know that I don't mean her ear.

[professor_spork]

pussy = back button. trufax.

[the_tenzo]

Same here. Well, maybe not automatic, but if I was already hovering, that seals the deal. Which is odd because IRL that's a term I do occasionally use.

The hubs is the son of a nurse, so he tends to use anatomically correct terms, which also weird me out. *throws up hands* We clearly need to invent some better words.

[platypus]

You know I am fond of this fic. However, I found the "doll in a crib" image a tiny bit mood-killing ;).

How hot is the helping-her-with-the-handjob-at-the-end thing? Very.

[the_tenzo]

However, I found the "doll in a crib" image a tiny bit mood-killing

I don't even remember writing that-clearly I was on something quite strong. (Yes, this is the excuse I am going with.)

The helping-her bit is mmmph for me, too. This fic is pretty much just My Kinks On Parade.

[2nd2ndalto]

YES!!! THANK YOU.

Ha! Your kinks are SO relevant to my interests. I think I've only ever written "first-time" smut so far, including one hand job. :)

Furtive sex IS hot. That's one of the reasons I love this one. Also, it's just fabulous. I think the whole mood kind of takes you back to teenage fumbling in your parents' basement.

This is awesome, and very hot, and one of my all-time favourite smut-fics. And you get extra hotness points for the Doctor helping with the hand job. And the ending just fits perfectly - exactly shippy enough.

[papilio_luna]

Well, I figure, enough of us in fandom, we'll eventually cluster around people who share our own proclivities ;)

The siren song of first times is hard for me to resist. There's just so many ways it could go, and the whole giddy newness angle definitely twigs me.

And your icon is more adorable than a whole jar full of adorableness, just so you know :D

[anon_aspasia]

I so love this one. (And ye gods, have I been there. Not with Ten, unfortunately, but yeah.) This sort of situation is hot in a really peculiar, almost painful way; you nailed it so clearly that I thought you HAD to be drawing on some experience.

Now the thing I can't help wondering--and that I would love to see written, if ever the muse should strike--is what exactly you thought was going on in his head while this was happening. God knows I was always dying to know the answer to that when I was in Rose's place here, so I'm doubly curious.

[the_tenzo]

Heh, who hasn't had this experience? I think one of the reasons I tend to be really drawn to ships that start out as very, very deeply platonic is because of my own experiences along those lines. Except for me, it never worked out (and never made it past first base, alas).

That is an intriguing idea, to write the same situation from the other POV. I can't decide if that would be awesome, or if it was sort of impinge upon part of what I was trying to do here, which was really play up the uncertainty and the risk involved in what Rose decides to do here. If we know what the Doctor is thinking, then we also know that Rose has nothing to fear. Then again: more porn. Decisions, decisions!

[anon_aspasia]

But see, the genius of them being two separate stories is that it wouldn't have much impact on Rose's uncertainty here. This keeps us in her head so well that even knowing what was going on in his head wouldn't necessarily change the read. (Plus, this being D/R with an M-rated sequel kind of limits the possible results, you know? After all, we can be reasonably sure that he isn't going to leap up and mince out in a pearl-clutching fit while calling her a whore and abandoning her to Mickey's tender fumbly care. *Reasonably.*)

In fact, a reverse POV would allow for more delicious uncertainty and tension, as there's no way that the Doctor wasn't equally tense for different reasons. After all, consider the Ten-babbly interior monologue as her hand is rising, and the levels of "is she-isn't she-she is-we are-OH SHIT WE ARE WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS SITUATION-fuck that feels good..." you could play with.

Plus, yeah, it's more furtive handjob porn. And that's never a bad thing.

[kalleah]

People of Great Britain: DOUBLE GLAZING EXISTS.

It's TRUE! I've seen Takin' Over the Asylum!

Now you have to do commentary for Push.