Things which can be annoying

[the_s_guy]

People assuming they're helping emotionally by saying encouraging things which are at the very least completely unverifiable

Comments

[raisedbymoogles]

Well, I'm a girl and I feel the same way, so that lends support to the introvert theory.

[megabitch]

Though, IME, guys tend to the "I shall give you a solution to this problem" when someone is down because of a break-up/sacking/whatever whereas women tend to the more "I shall listen to you until you come up with a solution" mode. One of the most annoying disconnects in a male-female relationship is when one half is upset/angry and wants (even expecting this kind of response regardless of the length of the relationship) their partner to respond the way that _they_ would; but the partner, of course, responds in the way that _they_ think is the most desired based on when they are upset or angry. Male -> "I shall solve this problem for you, for I am Man!" Female -> "tell me all about it, I shall empathise for I am Woman!"

As with all generalisations, there are always exceptions to any of them.

Now, that said, the only sane response to "there's plenty more fish in the sea" is "I don't want fish!"

[ariaflame]

I have similar reactions. Though in more specific areas. Particularly those that reassure me that my single state is something that will eventually be cured without actually asking me if I want to be anything but single.

[princess_kessie]

Now see, my reaction to all of that was "but mostly these platitudes come from people who care deeply and want to help and don't have the first clue *how* to actually offer help without coming off like a totally insensitive clod", and then feeling really sad thinking that my own mumblings of emotional support over the years might have made people I love angry instead of feeling like I care.

Now 'scuse me while I go chug rat poison beat myself around the head with a clue-by-four listen to dark music and wish the world would just swallow me up...

[ariaflame]

I tend to go for 'Is there anything I can do to help?'

[princess_kessie]

So do I, but with certain people even this comes out all wrong and offends them and they go off in a huff. Or they themselves don't know how to say "yes, I need help, but I don't know what or how you can help me, but I am glad you are here" or something to that effect. They just say "no" and you just know it's not true.

And I still feel like an insensitive clod and utterly ineffectual.

[the_s_guy]

All anyone can do is the best they know how, keeping in mind that everyone's different. And yeah, there are occasionally going to be communication mismatches. I think it's part of being human. :/