hhf entry; david cook is a horse's ass
Horrifying Halloween Fic Entry
Title: David Cook Is A Horse’s Ass
Author: thethingiswhat aka Katherine
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing and this is all fiction.
Summary: In a two-person horse costume, someone has to be the bottom.
Author’s Notes: I hope you guys all find this amusing. The title actually popped into my head first and then I made a fic from it. Oh and comments are <3 like always.
“I don’t understand why I have to be the bottom.”
“Come on Dave, it just makes more sense. I mean for one, I’m taller so I would have to bend down further to be the backside. Plus, I’m older.”
“What does you being older have to do with it?”
“Because it makes me wiser, which makes me wise enough to know that you should be the back of this costume.”
“Why couldn’t you just get one of those horse costumes where we both get to stand up? They do make those you know.”
“Because, Dave, I didn’t want to spend a thousand dollars on a horse costume. And because I know you want your head up my ass all night,” Michael says, smile creeping across his face.
“No,” David says, staring back at him stone-faced. “Besides, when I said I wanted us to dress up like in related costumes for Carly’s party I was thinking of something where we could be separated throughout the night. Like Wayne and Garth or Bill and Ted. Not a two-person horse costume where I have to be hunched over with my head next to your ass all night. And plus I can’t even see in that costume when we’re walking together.”
“Fine, Dave, what do you propose we do? The party is in an hour you know.”
“Well you could be the bottom -”
“Besides that.”
David ponders that for a moment. He was not completely against the two-person horse costume when Michael first proposed it, but he also didn’t think he’d end up having to the end of the costume. He thinks he probably should have thought about it more before he told Michael that he’d wear the costume, but when Michael gets an idea in his head there’s really no stopping him, no matter what.
“I have an idea. I need to go upstairs to change but I’ll be back in just a sec.”
“What are you doing?”
“You’ll see Michael, you’ll see.”
After a few moments, David comes back downstairs, dressed in Michael’s clothes. He messed up his hair to try to make it look kind of wavy, like Michael’s, and drew on a particularly unattractive mustache with his eyeliner.
“What are you doing?” Michael asks, slightly annoyed.
“What, you don’t like it, mate?” David says in his best fake Australian accent.
“Um… why are you wearing my clothes?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m Michael Johns.”
“This is hardly amusing.”
“Come on mate,” David says still using the accent. “We can go to go to Sydney over the summer and put a shrimp on the barbie. Maybe we’ll spot a koala or a kangaroo while we’re there. Blimey!”
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing -”
“I’m being you for Halloween. When we go to Carly’s party tonight and someone asks who I am, I’m going to say I’m Michael Johns.”
“Well does that mean I get to dress up as you?”
David shrugs, “If you want to I guess. But we only have 10 minutes before we have to leave for this party, so you getter make it quick.”
Michael grits his teeth and ponders his options. He could let David go as himself and quickly make a makeshift David costume - complete with fedora and guyliner. Or he could let David go as himself and be a one-man horse. But he is not looking forward to David mocking him all night out of revenge for not letting him be the front of the horse. There is one more option for Michael to consider, and it is one that would allow them to leave for the party on time and have David not dress as him, but it is definitely the one thing he does not want to do.
While Michael is pondering that, David is practicing mimicking Michael’s expressions in the mirror and trying to perfect his Australian accent.
“Fine!” Michel shouts. “I’ll let you be the front of the horse if you go change clothes and stop talking like that.”
“That’s all I wanted,” David says with a mischievous smile, content he has won that battle.
“Oh and Michael, try not to have too much fun with your head up my ass all night.”
Even though he is still slightly annoyed, Michael can’t help but smile.
Title: David Cook Is A Horse’s Ass
Author: thethingiswhat aka Katherine
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing and this is all fiction.
Summary: In a two-person horse costume, someone has to be the bottom.
Author’s Notes: I hope you guys all find this amusing. The title actually popped into my head first and then I made a fic from it. Oh and comments are <3 like always.
“I don’t understand why I have to be the bottom.”
“Come on Dave, it just makes more sense. I mean for one, I’m taller so I would have to bend down further to be the backside. Plus, I’m older.”
“What does you being older have to do with it?”
“Because it makes me wiser, which makes me wise enough to know that you should be the back of this costume.”
“Why couldn’t you just get one of those horse costumes where we both get to stand up? They do make those you know.”
“Because, Dave, I didn’t want to spend a thousand dollars on a horse costume. And because I know you want your head up my ass all night,” Michael says, smile creeping across his face.
“No,” David says, staring back at him stone-faced. “Besides, when I said I wanted us to dress up like in related costumes for Carly’s party I was thinking of something where we could be separated throughout the night. Like Wayne and Garth or Bill and Ted. Not a two-person horse costume where I have to be hunched over with my head next to your ass all night. And plus I can’t even see in that costume when we’re walking together.”
“Fine, Dave, what do you propose we do? The party is in an hour you know.”
“Well you could be the bottom -”
“Besides that.”
David ponders that for a moment. He was not completely against the two-person horse costume when Michael first proposed it, but he also didn’t think he’d end up having to the end of the costume. He thinks he probably should have thought about it more before he told Michael that he’d wear the costume, but when Michael gets an idea in his head there’s really no stopping him, no matter what.
“I have an idea. I need to go upstairs to change but I’ll be back in just a sec.”
“What are you doing?”
“You’ll see Michael, you’ll see.”
After a few moments, David comes back downstairs, dressed in Michael’s clothes. He messed up his hair to try to make it look kind of wavy, like Michael’s, and drew on a particularly unattractive mustache with his eyeliner.
“What are you doing?” Michael asks, slightly annoyed.
“What, you don’t like it, mate?” David says in his best fake Australian accent.
“Um… why are you wearing my clothes?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m Michael Johns.”
“This is hardly amusing.”
“Come on mate,” David says still using the accent. “We can go to go to Sydney over the summer and put a shrimp on the barbie. Maybe we’ll spot a koala or a kangaroo while we’re there. Blimey!”
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing -”
“I’m being you for Halloween. When we go to Carly’s party tonight and someone asks who I am, I’m going to say I’m Michael Johns.”
“Well does that mean I get to dress up as you?”
David shrugs, “If you want to I guess. But we only have 10 minutes before we have to leave for this party, so you getter make it quick.”
Michael grits his teeth and ponders his options. He could let David go as himself and quickly make a makeshift David costume - complete with fedora and guyliner. Or he could let David go as himself and be a one-man horse. But he is not looking forward to David mocking him all night out of revenge for not letting him be the front of the horse. There is one more option for Michael to consider, and it is one that would allow them to leave for the party on time and have David not dress as him, but it is definitely the one thing he does not want to do.
While Michael is pondering that, David is practicing mimicking Michael’s expressions in the mirror and trying to perfect his Australian accent.
“Fine!” Michel shouts. “I’ll let you be the front of the horse if you go change clothes and stop talking like that.”
“That’s all I wanted,” David says with a mischievous smile, content he has won that battle.
“Oh and Michael, try not to have too much fun with your head up my ass all night.”
Even though he is still slightly annoyed, Michael can’t help but smile.