(Untitled)

[stayastranger]

It wasn't that Sarah ever completely forgot that she had been a spy; it was that, from time to time, she needed to remind herself she still was. The instincts never died and she continued her private routines, kept in shape and kept the secrets she needed to in order to protect the people she loved, but there would be moments in her day, more than

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[knowthyexits]

Sarah's been scouting out places to sleep. She's still healing, but she can make it so the limp doesn't restrict her and now she has to set to a task. Even if John isn't here, she needs to protect him with her life, which means that she needs to find some kind of base in society and figure out the whispers of the place.

When she walks past the recreation room, she stops in her tracks when the screen pulls her in. Footage? Not of here, though. But of somewhere and Sarah's been looking for footage to figure out how she got here and how she stops herself from being followed while she finds her way out. She watches it loop, but the woman in front of it doesn't seem to be turning it off. "Are you sure you want to watch that again?" Sarah calls out, voice even and quiet.

[stayastranger]

Sarah's breath catches in her throat as she looks up and over her shoulder, tensing instinctively. She notices herself doing it and, just as fast, adjusts, drawing in on herself, hands twisting nervously together, eyes widening.

"I don't even know what it is," she says, a hitch in her voice, bewildered. At least it's quieter here in the rec center, but she doesn't even know how this is possible, the television console too old to have the right technology. It's this place. "I guess I thought it might start making sense if I let it run." Even as she says it, she steps forward to fumble at the camera, finding the switch to turn it off with visibly shaking hands. She perfected the lost and innocent look long ago.

[knowthyexits]

Sarah advances to try and help taking it down. One little trick to being a by-product of a time jump means that she understands things a lot older than she should. "I'm still surprised every time I pass this place," she admits, leaning over to slowly remember how to thread the film and to take it out once it's off. "These old things seem to have stood the test of time here." She peers up through the machine at the other woman, wondering what that film was.

[stayastranger]

Looking up, expression faintly grateful for the change in subject, Sarah nods. As much as she would like to fling the camera to the floor and destroy every last trace of that night, stamp on the tape within until there's nothing left of it, the violent outburst would do nothing to serve the image she's weaving of a girl upset and confused. Instead she holds it against her with one hand as she collapses the tripod.

"Even though the place itself is new," she says, nodding, an attempt at politeness, the effort to speak evenly audible. "It just... showed up last year. It's so... This whole place..."

[moraldyslexic]

That was kind of the last thing Lennox expected to see in the rec centre and he paused near Sarah, his mouth pulled into a frown. There was a lot of weird shit on the island and there was a part of him that almost didn't want to know what this was. Life before the island was just that and Lennox liked to think of a lot of it as ancient history.

"Your hair looks way better now, baby," he said seriously, unsure if she'd appreciate him trying to make light of the situation. "If that's even you. No one escapes the whole clone thing."

[stayastranger]

Sarah glanced over, trying to smile at the joke and not quite making it. "I guess not," she said, obviously shaken by it, but trying valiantly for some level of levity, even if she couldn't match him. It was too confusing for the cover, too painful for her. "I... You know, it's weird, I never even thought of someone else looking like me, and then... shooting people -" She cut herself off, hearing the way her voice rose, all that distress genuine. "I should have guessed, right? Happens to everyone."

[moraldyslexic]

"Hey," Lennox said, coming closer to her side and resting one of his hands on Sarah's shoulder. Sometimes he was good at this and sometimes he wasn't sure what someone wanted and Sarah was one of those people. He thought she was great, but he was never sure if he could be a comfort or not.

"It's pretty scary, I know, but if it's not you..." He frowned a little, trying to look sympathetic. "We should turn it off."

[stayastranger]

Sarah nodded, schooling her expression into one of rueful gratitude with more difficulty than usual before she looked over at him. "It just looks so real," she said. Reaching up, she patted his hand before pulling away to turn the damn thing off. "I've never seen someone get shot. I mean, in movies, obviously, but this is... different."

She wanted badly just to destroy it, but restraint was so necessary. As if that would do any good - its being here, wasn't that in itself a way of screaming to the world that it was her? This couldn't have been some film someone had put on, it was too obviously deliberate, too aimed. All she had was misdirection. On the other hand, at least the effort of that was, in itself, a misdirect for herself, keeping her mind from what she'd done.

[the_intersect]

On his way down the path, Chuck thought he saw Sarah duck into the rec center. It wasn't like he was stalking her or anything, or even that he was trying to get in the way of any training she might have been doing, but...

Okay, he was kind of bored.

Chuck wasn't far behind her when she entered the common room and stopped once he saw what was on the screen. He watched for a moment, eyes a bit wide as he watched Sarah pull the trigger.

"...Sarah?"

[stayastranger]

Just watching it was bad enough, but something about hearing Chuck made the ache in Sarah's chest worse still. As stupid as it maybe was, as inextricably as he was linked to her old life, she'd felt that, with him, she'd started to leave it behind, but that had just been more wishful thinking. These things couldn't just be erased.

Turning toward him, she blinked back tears and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "I... Chuck," she said, an honest bewilderment in her voice. "It was just here, just sitting here, playing like this."

[the_intersect]

Chuck couldn't help but be reminded of one time he'd flashed on Sarah's ring just after he'd met her. It was the first time he'd seen her shoot someone. Though he tried to push the thought away, Chuck couldn't help but wish that he had flashed on this too.

At least then, he wouldn't have had to ask her about it.

"What is it?" Chuck asked, looking from Sarah to the screen and then back to Sarah again. He knew it had to have been some kind of mission, and from the looks of it, it was one that Sarah wasn't exactly happy to be reminded of. "Do you want me to turn it off? I'll turn it off."

[stayastranger]

"Turn it off," Sarah agreed, closing her eyes at the sound of another shot. "Please, just..." Why it would be here, she understood; it was some kind of test or joke or show of power, just the kind of thing these people did, whoever ran this place. It was why it existed that she didn't understand.

Still, she forced herself to remember where they were, looking around to make sure no one was listening, no one was near enough to be listen, before she said anything more, voice hushed, if still distressed. She'd kept her secrets here this long. She didn't want to ruin that now. "It's my red test. My first kill. This shouldn't be here."

[notawastedlife]

"...America's Funniest Home Videos never was very funny," Tony said, from behind her.

Was that- well, no, Sarah didn't shoot people, she worked in... he forgot. She had a job that wasn't shooting people somewhere vaguely French looking.

[stayastranger]

Sarah took a deep breath, turning toward Tony and resting a hand on his arm, as much for show as actual need of steadying. Her mind raced along to an excuse without hesitation and it didn't take much, or any, pretense to seem distressed by this.

"It just keeps playing," she said. "And she looks like - I would never -"

[notawastedlife]

Tony looked at her, assessed, and said, "Hold that thought," and stepped away from her, to the camera on the tripod.

Finding an off button seemed a little beneath his skill set, but he settled for it. It was fastest.

"Better?" he said, once it had stopped.

[stayastranger]

Sarah nodded, reaching up with both hands to wipe her eyes. A little teary was fine, with what she'd seen, the harmless girl she was meant to be; at least she'd refrained from actually crying. At least it was Tony and not some stranger. "Thank you. I should have just... done that myself. I just... God, that was horrible."

[crossyourpath]

"Did someone leave a rom com on the projector again?"

Felicia would swear up and down that she was just passing through to switch out magazines before carrying on with the dullness that was her everyday life. Fortunately she's not about to be given the fourth degree any time soon. Turning slightly to get a better look at the screen before casting a glance at the blonde woman.

"I hate it when they do that. They pull out the cheap tears and it sucks then they cut to a wedding."

[stayastranger]

"And everyone lives happily ever after," Sarah says, a little dull herself as she pushes herself to step forward and turn off the camera. She can't just let it keep playing with people around. It's difficult to be sure, looking up and over at this woman, whether she honestly thought it was a film or if she's making light of it, and Sarah has to rely on instinct to determine how to play this. "Except that poor woman."

[crossyourpath]

Felicia doesn't think it's a film. She's not stupid, as much as she likes to pretend that she is and part of playing dumb is knowing when to ignore the truth.

Even if it is breathing heavily in your face. "Exception to every rule. Plus, happily ever after is not all it's cracked up to be."

Or so she's heard. She never really makes it to the after of anything.

[stayastranger]

"Why not?" Sarah asks, slipping the tape from the camera. She doesn't need it, though someone else probably does, but the tape is hers by right of her face on it, her past on it. She has to destroy that part. "I mean, I know it can't all be... picture perfect sunsets and picket fences, but there's got to be something to it, right?"

Through the haze of trying to keep everything together, trying to do this right, she's not entirely sure how much of this is just her playing sweet and naïve and how much is her honestly wanting to believe that. Then again, the woman on this tape, the one with a gun in her hands - could she ever really get a happily ever after? Even with a guy like Chuck.