(Untitled)

[kingshit_lloyd]

Lloyd knew that he was no criminal mastermind. It was the sort of self-awareness that came naturally after the fifth petty theft arrest or so, and delusions of grandeur weren't really his thing. He hadn't considered the matter in depth at the time, but looking back, his prospects hadn't been exactly awesome; chances were, if it hadn’t been for the

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[colbert_bump]

Stephen was wandering around with Chloe, trying to get her to sniff out wherever Frank was. He hadn't seen the guy for awhile. Maybe he was high again.

Anyway, so that's what he was doing when he noticed some guy practically scaling the building. Naturally, Stephen's first thought was that this was a burglary in progress.

"If you're taking anything of mine, I'm calling the cops!" he called, scowling. He did not want to go through the suit-hell again.

[kingshit_lloyd]

Lloyd froze in mid-climb, turning a wide-eyed look on a Republican-looking guy and his big-ass dog. The only worse scenario he could picture was Chief De Niro himself standing down there.

Naturally, he didn't keep climbing.

"No, man, don't," he said, tone hushed and pleading. "I wasn't doing nothing wrong -- if I was stealin', I'd be wearing a fucking ski mask, wouldn't I?" Lloyd, in his display of perfect reasoning, had neglected to remember the dozen times he'd forgotten to wear one of those on proper burglaries.

[colbert_bump]

"I don't know--would you?" Stephen asked in the kind of voice one would use if they were testing someone else. "You could be lying."

Personally, he didn't really care if the guy was stealing stuff so long as it wasn't his stuff going missing. If it didn't involve Stephen, why waste the energy?

[kingshit_lloyd]

"Yeah, 'course I would," Lloyd protested, even managing to inject some righteous indignation in there -- mostly because the question kind of confused him. "Robbing a place without a ski mask is like robbing it naked."

[saikamai]

Bert was on his way out of the kitchen, trying to decide whether he was going to bring the popkins he'd made all the way back to camp or maybe just cram one in his mouth and let Glue Boy steer, when he saw a disarmingly familiar figure down the hall. Said figure seemed to be attempting to squeeze himself and two extra-large sacks through the stairwell door as quickly as possible.

"Lloyd?" he called, just in time for the door to shut behind him. Bert walked briskly down the hall, slipped through the door and jogged up the stairs. Above his head, he heard the second door shut, followed by the sound of something rolling down the stairs toward him. He picked it up, puzzled over the label, and finished running up toward the roof.

And yeah, sure enough, it was Lloyd, still carrying those enormous bags and making like he was planning to take the ladder down.

"Hey," Bert inquired, tapping him on the shoulder. "What're these things?"

[kingshit_lloyd]

Lloyd jumped at the sudden touch, doing a sharp 180 turn with an expression that would have been no worse off if he'd simply had GUILTY AS FUCK: ARREST IMMEDIATELY written in magic marker on his forehead.

He let out a hard breath when he realized who it was.

"Jesus fuck, Bert, you scared the shit outta me," he muttered, but then he let himself relax, a little bit. Bert was with the IPD, sure, but if Lloyd could trust him with his life, he could trust him with some pot candy. "That's a pot-lollipop," he explained, sounding pretty dubious about the concept himself. "Like a joint, only I guess it's harder to smoke. You ken joint, right?"

[saikamai]

Lloyd turned around as if he'd laid a clawed, furry hand on his shoulder instead of his own rather normal one, and his jumpiness was enough to startle Bert.

"I scared you?" he asked, incredulous laughter in his voice. "I called for you downstairs but I guess you didn't hear me... what are you doing?" Bert trailed off, looking at the bags and the stuff scattered behind them on the roof from where one had burst a seam, then back to Lloyd and the tub of candy.

Bert had seen candy made before in the kitchens of Gilead, and of course it had been made in a pot, a great cast-iron beast filled with hot bubbling sugar. But then Lloyd started talking about a lollipop being difficult to smoke and he realized he was on the wrong track altogether, and thought he knew what he was talking about. It was impossible to live on the island for a few years and not ken pot, though Bert had never actually tried it himself. No, the muffinballs had been his first and last (well, most recent, anyway) foray into the weird, wonderful world of ingesting

[kingshit_lloyd]

"Well, yeah, sort of," Lloyd replied, sounding uncertain; his own uptake on the matter was far from lightning quick, but the labels were straightforward enough. "I don't know how it works, but I figure it can get you high same way a cigarette would. Might not look as cool, though."

He glanced up from the lollipop box, regarding Bert with a cautious frown. "Chief Ragin' Bull didn't give you some kind of special briefing 'bout it, did he?"

[bennet_beauty]

Jane could not sleep. She had been unable to sleep for days now and it was merely because she spent her days tossing and turning, thoughts mired in the most delightful moments. She was walking now to clear her mind when she came across a strange and familiar figure descending the Compound. She tipped her head curiously to one side as she regarded him, wondering why on earth he was out at this hour. "Lloyd?"

[kingshit_lloyd]

Jane was about the last person Lloyd had expect to get busted by, but at the same time, it sort of made perfect sense. Feeling his ears beginning to burn, he climbed all the way down before offering her a sheepish look.

"Hey, Janie," he greeted, trying for casual and ending up on the happy middle ground between guilty and awkward. "Watcha doin' up so late?"

[bennet_beauty]

"I cannot sleep," she replied most truthfully, but in her lack of sleep, she had never fathomed that she would come across Lloyd looking as suspicious and strange as he was. "Is there something the matter? You look...out of sorts," she said, unable to truly place her finger upon the issue.

[kingshit_lloyd]

"Yeah, I'm, uh..." Lloyd began, stopped to clear his throat, and tried to think up a good excuse for his admittedly shifty behavior. But there were two small problems with that. One: there was no good excuse for sneaking around with a couple puffy bags in the middle of the goddamn night (not that Lloyd knew of, anyhow), and two: making shit up meant lying, and lying to Jane made him feel like an asshole. Not just a regular run-of-the-mill asshole, but the grand king of assholes. Also, there was that slight problem of Lloyd's bullshitting skills not being quite up to Olympic standards. Which meant his best bet was to tell her the truth -- after all, confession was good for the soul (though, in Lloyd's experience, it wasn't so great for keeping your ass out of jail).

"I got two bags full of pot from the island," he explained, feeling like a schoolboy admitting to cheating on a big deal exam. "This stuff -- it's, uh, sort of illegal back home." He gave her a hapless puppy-caught-in-a-snare look. "Janie, I know this looks bad, but I don'

[get_over_here]

[kingshit_lloyd]

"Jesus Christ!"

For a few long seconds, all Lloyd could do was stare dumbly at the guy, his eyes saucer-wide, wondering where the hell he'd come from. The son of a bitch had nearly given him a heart attack.

The upside here was that he could at least count on Mr. Psycho Samurai not to turn him over to the police. Who'd even believe him, dressed like that?

"Yeah, well, excuse me for not being a fuckin' ninja," Lloyd shot back, thinking the criticism was uncalled for. "I'm American, you know," he added, sulkily. It wasn't that he was actually offended or anything, but...

Well, okay, maybe he was.

[get_over_here]

[kingshit_lloyd]

"Failin' at stealth, obviously," Lloyd muttered in reply, still feeling a little cross. He finished his climb down, then turned to look at Scorpion, brow slightly furrowed. It was his natural reaction to the guy -- and the costume. Christ, he couldn't believe he was still wearing that thing.

"Got a nice delivery of drugs from the island," he said, with dry matter-of-factness. "Last year, it was a horse."

[det_jules]

Juliet might be new to the Island and new to the IPD, but she wasn't new to suspicious activity and what she was seeing was plain as day as it came to a perp trying to sneak away in the middle of the night. She just really wished she had her badge. "Sir!" she called out loudly. "Sir, what are you doing?"

[kingshit_lloyd]

Lloyd squeezed his eyes shut. He could recognize a cop tone of voice in his sleep, but unfortunately, he was pretty damn sure he was fully awake right now.

He stayed still, praying that it was some other suspicious dude she happened to be addressing. Somehow, though, he doubted it.

"I'm, uh, climbin' down the ladder," he replied noncommittally, his voice coming out just a little strangled. "Why, is there a problem?"

[det_jules]

"Well," Juliet said considerately as she drew closer and wished she had a badge or her gun to flash, really anything to make it so that she had some oomph to her. "It's kind of an odd hour of the night and you look a little uncomfortable with that bag. Which...what's in it?"

[kingshit_lloyd]

"Nothin'," Lloyd muttered, still feeling like something had crawled up his throat and was refusing to crawl out. Nothing might not have been entirely convincing, on second thought, considering how full the bags looked. Then he came up with an awesome idea. "Sex toys. A whole bunch of 'em."