(Untitled)

[wormholed]

"That is not happening."

John stood in the center of the path with both his hands in the air, chest puffed out and ready for debate. In the silence that followed, his head cocked to the side, upper body swelling to dangerous capacity as he sucked in more air.

"I can't tell her you're my imaginary friend," he ground out. "Sure as shit not past

Comments

[eggman_henry]

"No more than usual," Henry called back as he strolled towards John with his hands in his pockets, an undercurrent of amusement in his tone. "Any particular reason you're asking?"

[wormholed]

Well, there were worse answers. John scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Guess I'm looking for tips on how to seem less off," he said when Henry stopped in front of him. "'Cause I am off. But I don't want my kid to know it."

[eggman_henry]

It seemed like a valid concern, especially for someone in Henry's line of work. His professional instinct said he should dig deeper into that statement to find out the source, the motivation, and work from there. But while Henry wouldn't turn him away if he ever asked, John wasn't his patient now, so Henry spared him the psychoanalyzing.

"I think off...ness is in the eye of the beholder, at least some of the time," he replied. "A person might be called crazy by one and merely eccentric by another." He paused, shrugging. "I'm not a parent myself, but my best friend Jonesy back home had four, and judging by them I'd say your kid's gonna think you're the best ever no matter how off you seem. Well, until she becomes a teenager and starts hating you on principle."

[wormholed]

There was truth in that, and plenty of it. But while John had always been an optimist, he couldn't seem to harness an ounce of that good cheer today.

"Yeah, I know," he said, pushing his hands over his eyes and leaving them there for a long moment. "I was never scared of it before, and now..." He looked at Scorpius, and the alien looked back, no hint of challenge, malice or mirth in its eyes. No hint of anything.

"There's stuff about me I can't fix," said John finally. "And I wish I could."

[apoorupbringing]

Chase had been slowing anyway, because homie was having a moment down the path a ways. He glanced conspiratorially off to his side, as though consulting an equally unseen friend, then looked back to the guy and adjusted the backpack on his shoulder.

"Uh. ...Well, yeah?"

[wormholed]

That was fair enough. John probably should've waited to ask someone who hadn't just seen him conversing with the air.

He stood up a little straighter, stalwartly not looking in Scorpius' direction. "How 'bout now?"

[apoorupbringing]

Chase scratched the back of his neck, looking sort of doubtful about the whole situation.

"Uh, now you kinda look like a crazy guy trying not to be crazy. But that's probably only because I just saw you being crazy."

[wormholed]

John grunted, shoulders relaxing in a way that was dangerously close to a slump. "That's probably accurate," he said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "But not 'cause I'm talking to nobody." John touched his fingers to his temple. "There's a somebody, but he's up in here. Extra special space souvenir."

It was funny, how willing he was to blurt that out now, as fiercely as he'd guarded the secret when he first arrived. Nobody wanted to be the island fool.

[maybe_youll_die]

"No more than any other day," said Wednesday, staring at him as she approached. Dr. Brennan's husband had always been off, to her. "Have you done something stupid?"

[wormholed]

"Probably," said John, because as a general rule he did several inadvisable things a day. "How do you do that?" he asked with a wave at her impassive face. He didn't mind asking the advice of a child, wouldn't have even if Wednesday hadn't been uncommonly smart. Crichton didn't really do dignity the way others did.

"How are you always so cool?"

[maybe_youll_die]

"I'm an Addams," said Wednesday, which was the only answer she had and the only one she felt she needed. Of course, it was a shame her brother hadn't inherited the trait. "It's inbred."

[wormholed]

John gave a reluctant chuckle. "Genes'll only take you so far, though," he said. "What do you do, spend hours in the mirror not making faces?"

[theunascended]

"Define 'off'." With Crichton, it could be anything from the voice in his head to the fact that he liked being a girl entirely too much. Or maybe Beelzemonkey or that thing where Crichton kept sitting on him, or...well, there were a lot of ors, but it was all Crichton. "That's a pretty relative term when it comes to most of my friends."

[wormholed]

"You know," said John, relaxing a notch to see that it was Daniel. "Fried chicken and wine off. Tux and cowboy boots off." He let a shoulder rise and fall, adding more hesitantly, "Funny farm off."

[theunascended]

"I would say eccentric," Daniel said after a minute. "But funny farm? Not since you sliced your palm open." He frowned and moved a little closer. "Why? Who's been filling your head with thoughts like those?"

[wormholed]

"My built-in BFF," said John with a twist of his mouth. At his shoulder, Scorpius stood with a still and innocent calm, but John could feel him gearing up for another argument.

"And me, I guess," he added, heading the alien off. "Just gotta wonder what my daughter's gonna think of me."

[alas_yorick]

"Dude, you always seem off to me, but if you weren't you wouldn't be you," Yorick said with a grin. Ampersand chittered from Yorick's shoulder, as if scolding his teasing. "What's with the emo? Your leather pants getting too small? You should probably try to cut the carbs out of your diet..."

[wormholed]

"This isn't emo," returned John immediately, hand pressed flat to his forehead. "Do you see any flops bangs in residence? This is grown up man pain, son."

[alas_yorick]

Yorick grins a little before his expression straightens out into something earnest. "What's wrong?"

[wormholed]

"Aww." John shrugged, but no hand at his forehead could smooth out the worry there. "Just wondering what my kid's gonna think of me when she's old enough to get to thinking."

He let his hand fall away, dead weight hitting his leg with a slap. "It's not exactly quiet up in here."