Going for walks down the beach wasn't exactly a productive way for Capa to spend his time, not when he still had so much work to complete before he could figure out the right calculation that would get him home, but every so often he couldn't help himself. With the warmth of the sun on his face, he had to give into it now and then, he had to enjoy what he'd been deprived of his whole life, if only to appreciate why he had to get back. If he didn't, this would never happen. No sun, no warmth, no life.
Smiling when he saw Alice, Capa lifted a hand to wave at her. He hadn't been on the island long, but he knew he appreciated Alice's somewhat abrupt nature. At times she reminded him of Mace, although he'd never admit to missing that bastard.
"Every day's a fucking adventure here," Alice said, darkly. "You never know who you're going to be when you wake up in the morning, or who isn't going to be there." She hadn't meant to add the last part, but it was true. She sighed.
Capa glanced up at the sun when she said that, only because the only adventure he'd ever had had involved the sun. Frowning once again, he lifted his shoulders in a deep shrug. "I suppose it would just be easier not to let anyone get too close if that's the case."
He didn't want to tell her again that he was sorry she'd lost her friend, even if he was. So instead, he said, "Everyone on the mission with me died. It was my fault. I wasn't close to all of them, but some..." Searle, who hadn't been entirely sane, but had still been Capa's friend. And Kaneda, who had quietly taken Capa under his wing. "Some of them were good people I let myself get too close to."
"I know that feeling." John wasn't the first person she'd lost. Nor was Carlos. Her life just seemed like a series of losses to her sometimes. They were just a little more spaced out now.
"Yeah," Capa murmured in agreement, hooking his hair behind his ear. "Then what becomes the answer? Stay at a distance and always feel that disconnect or let yourself get close and get screwed over?" It wasn't a question he imagined Alice would have an answer to and he wasn't even sure why he'd asked it.
He laughed, unable to stop himself, although there was no humour in the sound. It was dry and humourless and he shook his head as well. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't, am I right?"
"What for?" Capa asked curiously, his head tipping before he brushed his hair back again. He didn't think he'd done anything particularly helpful and he'd never been good at this sort of thing before.
"I don't know. Listening, I guess." She actually felt a little better for talking about it, albeit to someone she didn't know very well. Maybe that had made it easier.
"Then you're welcome," Capa answered with a wry grin, lifting one shoulder in an awkward sort of shrug. "I only wish I had some sort of solution, but the only thing I've come up with is distraction."
"I guess a walk on the beach isn't much of a distraction," Alice said. "There's only so much time you can spend thinking about how pretty this place is before you start remembering it's fucked up, too."
Nodding his agreement, Capa had to admit to himself that he hadn't found much in the way of distraction either. "I work," he said. "I'm trying to work out the math to get me out of here, but it's difficult. It'll take me months, likely. Maybe longer."
"Math," Alice repeated flatly. Well, people had used all sorts of methods to try and escape the island, so it was worth a try. Even though it'd probably be about as successful as all those other methods, which was to say, not at all.
Smiling when he saw Alice, Capa lifted a hand to wave at her. He hadn't been on the island long, but he knew he appreciated Alice's somewhat abrupt nature. At times she reminded him of Mace, although he'd never admit to missing that bastard.
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"You're not wrong," she said, by way of explanation to Capa.
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"I just got sick of staying at a distance."
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"I ask myself that every day, Capa." Every fucking day.
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"Thanks."
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