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[m_pinocchio]

Today doesn't feel any different than any other day. He gets up early, gets his coffee, and instead of drinking it in the kitchen he takes it outside to the Compound steps, sits down on them and listens to the Island come awake

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[little_moons]

Max wakes me up, the little fucker.

He's hungry, he wants a walk, he wants to play, he wants whatever. It's still kind of like having a hyperactive toddler.

Even the walk up to the Compound doesn't really wake me up. I'm still bleary-eyed, feet shuffling along, yawning every few minutes, in sweats and a t-shirt that's kinda big and might be mine or might not. Who knows. I'm running a hand through my hair, scrubbing at my face and biting back another yawn when I make it to the Compound steps, mouth curling into a tired smile at the sight of him there.

[little_moons]

"Nah, you gotta few good years left in you."

I've fucked guys close to twice his age. Seriously. The thought doesn't even bother me, it's just the truth. Age never really meant shit to me, in that sense, and I got it in my head a long time ago that mid-thirties is prime age. Not that any of that shit matters. I'm not stupid, I won't lie, I got fucked up a long time ago and maybe some of that did linger. Still doesn't change anything, and I don't let it matter more than it has to.

"I figured I'd start you out with a cane, first."

[m_pinocchio]

"I had one already," he says, shooting Neil a wry smile. "Back when I broke my leg. Dunno what happened to it, though." Perhaps he'd thrown it away in a fit of exuberance when he'd realized he didn't need it anymore. Though the crutches had been worse.

"Still a while before you shove me out on an ice floe, huh?

[little_moons]

It's weird that I didn't even know him then, but I remember clearly when that happened. I remember because of how fucking irritated Eostre was. Just another one of those stupid things that Mike did. My lips twist into a smile and I try to ignore the sudden ache in my chest.

It's different for him, I know. Different for Tom. But I saw her just about every day for the last year, for longer, and now it's been weeks and I miss her. I try not to think about it, and I haven't talked about it to anyone. It feels stupid, and I don't know what to say when it's gotta be ten times harder for the rest of them. I just gotta deal with it.

"'Til I do what?"

[m_pinocchio]

"Ice floe," he repeats, swallowing down the last of his coffee and setting the mug down. "What you do to useless old people when you're an Eskimo or something. I dunno, I just read it somewhere." It hadn't sounded like the most horrible idea. God knows, there are worse ways to go.

[little_moons]

"Right," I say, 'cause I've heard something like it before, from someone else or maybe even from him, I can't remember. "That's pretty fucked up," I decide, downing most of the rest of my coffee in one scalding gulp.

"You ready?" I ask, snatching up his empty mug before Max can stick his face in it and getting to my feet.

[m_pinocchio]

"I dunno," he says. "It makes a lot of sense if you think about it from their point of view." It's a point of view he's become well acquainted with. If you're weak, if you can't contribute, there's no point in keeping you alive.

He feels something dark twist in his gut and not for the first time, he's grateful that it's a point of view that he no longer has any use for.

"Sure." He gets to his feet, arching his back and listening to it crack in two or three places. "Hear that? Next comes the arthritis."

[little_moons]

"Yeah, but what about all the young, lazy assholes like me?" I point out, yanking open the compound door and smirking at him over my shoulder before I duck inside. I rinse out the mugs and toss them into the dishwasher, back outside in less than a minute and a smirk on my face.

"Hope that's not some hint I gotta start takin' it easy on you."

[m_pinocchio]

"Clearly you're good for something," he says, rolling his eyes and landing a well-placed smack on Neil's ass. "And don't even think it. C'mon." He moves down the steps and out to the path, heading towards the waterfall. The ocean might be nice at another time, but he feels like something a little more... sedate.

In his old age.

[little_moons]

Laughing -- he really needs to quit provin' Kara Thrace right -- I duck away from him, walking up ahead and turning to grin at him over my shoulder.

"Yeah, even if I wasn't good for that, you'd probably keep me around anyway."

[m_pinocchio]

"You're amusing," he says, returning the grin. As he draws up alongside, his hand, almost as if it's moving under its own direction, finds the small of Neil's back and settles there.

"Amusing counts for a lot. Hobbes got by for months on amusing."

[little_moons]

"Amusing?" I laugh, shaking my head and hooking a finger into his beltloop, like it's the most normal thing in the world, "Wow. Now you've got both of us, aren't you afraid you might OD or somethin'?"

[m_pinocchio]

"Not so much," he says, rolling his eyes again. "Considering I'm about to drop dead anyway." He pulls Neil a little closer, still moving as if only half aware.

"Bet I could come up with some other reasons if I think hard enough."

[little_moons]

"Yeah, yeah. Just 'cause it's your birthday, doesn't mean you can get all fuckin' sappy on me," I tease, letting him pull me in and fitting in against his side. "I know you really want to, deep down."

[m_pinocchio]

"I'm keeping it under control," he says, grinning and shaking his head, feeling another warm little swell at how they fit together, even just walking, and he remembers the first time he'd noticed that he and Tom fit that way. "Just for you." And then he tips his head back and laughs, drowning out the faint sound of the falls up ahead.

"Christ," he says, looking down at where their hips almost touch. "We must look so fucking gay right now."

[little_moons]

"I hate to break it to you, but we are so fuckin' gay right now," I point out, shoulders shaking with barely repressed laughter.