Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, and she's gone.

[with_diamonds]

There was a time, Lucy recalled, back in New Hampshire, when her class of small, uniformed children had been told to raise their hands if anyone they knew had been in a war - those ten-some years after World War II, there'd been a share of hands, mostly kids with uncles or more distant relations who'd gone to fight. Then, along with the standard

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[listentomystory]

He wanted to read, weird as that was, but he did. He walked to the rec room to read and possibly listen to some music, distract himself from the craziness of the lasting effects of Halloween, and from everything else. And hell, maybe Max was in there...where else would he be?

But when he walked into the compound, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his mood dropped from "okay" to "life sucks."

"Christ. Of course. Of course you're here, Lucy. Things just couldn't get better could they?"

[listentomystory]

"Used to be happy. Used to love... used to..." He sighed, loudly, turning around in his spot for a second. "Why can't we go back in time?"

[with_diamonds]

Lucy let out a soft, short laugh, her eyebrows raising briefly. "God," she said, half-bewildered, "If you knew how often I wondered that, Jude, we'd be having an entirely different conversation."

[listentomystory]

"Well why can't we?" The words just fell out of his mouth before he even thought about them. He knew why things couldn't be the way they were. Max in war, the things they said to each other, the accusations, the people, the changes everything had gone through. He knew very well that if anything things were only going to change more, but he still looked at Lucy with the expectation of her saying that everything was going to be the way it was again. He was setting himself up to be hurt again, and he knew the feeling all too well.

[with_diamonds]

Lucy shivered at the words, looking more sad than anything else. "We can't go backwards, Jude," she said softly, as close to tender as she'd been with him in the month since she'd shown up, glancing down at her bare feet. It hurt to say, it really did, but it was the truth, after all, especially with all they'd been through. "No one can."

[listentomystory]

He was nearly silent when he responded. "I know." He sighed, closing his eyes and making his way back to his chair. "Yeah, I know."

He glanced up once more at her, half expecting her to leave. "When did things change, Lucy?"

[with_diamonds]

She didn't leave. Rather, she slowly followed him back, retaking, in turn, her position on the couch. "I...don't know," she admitted, the words nearly catching in her throat, and it was all too evident just how difficult that was to realize.

It was clearer the second time, more decisive. "I don't know."

[listentomystory]

"Do you think maybe it was always this bad and we were just to high to notice?" He let out a fairly loud chuckle at his joke, letting the laughter sooth him even though he knew that he was not okay.

[with_diamonds]

Lucy let out a laugh at that, quiet but real. "Speak for yourself, maybe," she said, and for a moment, she was half-teasing, but she sombered again with a shake of her head. "No. No, I don't think it was always...like this." 'This bad' wasn't a phrase she wanted to attach to the two of them, broken up or no.

[listentomystory]

"Yeah. I remember being happy." He swallowed hard and put his head back down, his eyes closed, his mouth just open enough to keep breathing.

"How was your Halloween?" He needed to change the subject, and it seemed like the question on everyone's mind nowadays.

[with_diamonds]

"Aside from the part where I ran for my life through a jungle and found you all over some other girl?"

The question spilled out, more bitter than she would've intended, before she could stop herself, and Lucy grimaced, lips pressed together tightly. "Sorry," she muttered, glancing away. It was true, though, even with all she'd tried to make things as close to alright as they could be. He'd been the one to accuse her of cheating, and he'd been the one to actually do it.

[listentomystory]

"Why were you running through the jungle for your life?" His voice was nearly one tone, as if he had given up on all of it. He ignored her remark and just stayed stiff a though he had never heard it.

[with_diamonds]

Lucy stared a moment, half-incredulous, and let out a short, frustrated sigh. "Did the monsters and all the other fucking crazy things escape you, while you were hanging on that blonde?" she asked, evidently sarcastic. He couldn't have missed that much, girl or not, but she still frowned, the memories still all too vivid. "I had to get from my hut to any safe place I could find, and the first just happened to be that bus."

[listentomystory]

"I managed to miss them." He said it with a smirk. "I was at Penny's most of the night, until you got there really." A smirk replaced his solid face. "And it's not like we were together, Luce. You can't stop me from having a little fun on this island just because you're here. You don't control me."

[with_diamonds]

That stung more than Lucy expected it to, and she recoiled slightly, arms wrapped across her stomach. "I never said I did," she muttered coldly, trying her hardest not to picture Jude doing anything with that blonde girl, jaw clenched tightly. "But, you know, I'm glad to see you could move on so fast," she added flippantly, trying to sound casual about the whole thing but hardly succeeding. "It's great to know how much our relationship mattered, really."

[listentomystory]

"Oh yeah, me and Penny are great together." The sarcastic tone in his voice was obvious. "We started fucking the day I got here on the island."